Chapter 14

A/N: This is ridiculously shorter than the other ones, but my muse doesn't like me at the moment and I had not much inspiration. Your reviews always make me smile&keep me going, so thank you so much for that, I love you all! Special Shoutout to gg and pty who have been following this fic right from the beginning&reviewed every chapter, you guys rock!

The room is bathed from the yellow light sneaking through the windows, painting the curls of her hair gold, colouring in the forgotten shadows from the content lines of her face. Her fingers curl around his wrist, resting above the reassuring drumbeat of his heart, smiling shyly in her sleep into his shoulder with their legs tangled together.

He cannot stop watching her.

He knows that he should go to sleep. The sun had been rising when they'd eventually finished their- activities to speak. (Damn, she was a wildcat in bed, with just the right amount of tenderness). It's golden now, much like her hair, and his eyes are drooping but he fights to keep them wide open to drink her in despite his body all but collapsing.

It's just- She's so gorgeous. She is snuggling into his shoulder. Serena Celia van der Woodsen, cold, badass assassin, is snuggling.

And he's just so head over heels in love with her and overwhelmed by these dramatic turn of events that he needs to take a moment and just appreciate it all.

"Dan." Serena murmurs all of a sudden, softly though, eyelids fluttering.

He jolts in surprise and she chuckles into his shoulder before pressing a light kiss there. "Go to sleep." She tells him, thumb stroking across the pulse point of his wrist. Can she feel it pounding?

"Can't." He manages to strangle out, entranced by her and only her, only ever her.

"Why?" Serena's eyes open and her stunning blue eyes find his, frowning in concern at him. "Dan, if that's not enough to wear you out, then I really don't know what is."

Dan flushes immediately at the mention of their recent activities. How on earth had he ever managed to play the part of a playboy? This woman renders him completely speechless.

"No, it's not-" He's tongue-tied, lost in her, in everything. Is this dreaming? "I just...Are you going to be here when I wake up?"

Serena only frowns harder at him, running her fingers lightly along his jaw. "Of course. Where else would I be?"

"I don't mean in your house. I mean here. Next to me. I- I'm not just gonna wake up and find that you're going to deny this ever happened, or that you believe it was all a mistake, a lapse of judgement? Because, please, Serena, I don't think I could stand that."

Serena's quiet for a moment, fingers suddenly disappearing from his jaw and he misses them instantly, even as she lies down on his chest and her breathing tickles against his skin. In the silence, her soft breathing is the only thing that he can hear, but judging from where she lays he can safely assume that she can hear the rapid pounding of his heart. So fast and heavy it feels as though it's going to break free from the prison of his body.

"Yes."

It's the only thing she says, or more accurately sighs, in the fragile silence.

"Yes?"

"Yes, Dan."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

She rests her chin on his chest, watching him carefully, something alike to sympathy in her eyes. "It's okay not to believe me, Dan." She tells him gently. "I don't quite trust myself."

He doesn't believe her.

But he runs his hands through her gorgeous hair, and thinks about how that hair looks splayed out on the pillow as he rises above her, how she's let him see that side of her, the arch of her back, the way she bites her lips almost hard enough to break the skin as she teeters on the brink of pleasure. These are the sides of her that he has no doubt she'd ever thought about allowing him to see, the parts of her that she's even forgotten because it's been so long since she's ever allowed herself to be happy. And for some reason, that makes it all okay.

If he wakes up and she's not here, it's somehow all okay.

He wants to tell her he loves her. Loves the way her body aligns with his, the spill of her hair over her shoulders, the blue swirl of her eyes. Loves the way she jokes with him, the way she adores him in a secret way she keeps hidden, the compassion and drive of her heart.

Instead he allows his weary bones to relax, presses a tender kiss to her forehead.

"It's okay." He assures her.

It is.

When she wakes, there's a hand splayed on the small of her back, anchoring her to a warm body. Her arms are in an awkward position, one trapped beneath a heavy weight while the other lays flat on skin that isn't hers, but feels achingly familiar.

She gathers her bearings when her eyes flutter open against the brightness of the day, finds the hand anchoring to a body is Dan's and she can't help the small smile that briefly grows on her lips even as she attempts to wiggle her hand from where it's wedged itself beneath the curve of his spine. This isn't what she'd expected. She's not even quite sure when she feel into this; some version of herself that allowed herself to finally feel something other than sadness and anger, allowed Dan to get past the walls she puts up. Not completely- but almost.

Strangely, she finds that she doesn't mind.

"Dan." She murmurs lightly, tracing patterns into his skin.

He stirs, and it's adorable, the way his nose scrunches and his eyes flutter.

"Dan." She says again, by his ear this time, allows her teeth to graze the shell of his ears as she does. He shudders in response.

Finally, one eye cracks open, blearily studies her before snapping shut again. She can't prevent the laugh that tumbles from her at the action.

This is the kind of man she could love.

"Serena." He slurs. "S'early."

She chuckles, glacing at the bedside clock. "Dan, it's 1pm. Though I'm not surprised, what with the time we actually got to sleep."

His eyes open and stay that way this time, drinking her in with a smile. She flashes him a dopey smile, unable to help herself. This feels right and real and natural. Who cares if she's only known him 6 days, if their time together is limited? She'd always been so careful with her life, living by her rules she'd set herself after her dad had been murdered. They were so restricting, especially of her happiness, of her capability to ever grow fond of another human being. Perhaps it were time to finally break those rules. She doesn't think she'd mind breaking them with him.

"So..." Dan says, that smile not leaving his face.

Serena crosses the small gap between their grinning lips and presses hers to his in what seems a chaste kiss compared to the intense kisses they'd shared just hours before in the very same bed.

They kiss lazily for a few minutes, and she enjoys the way that he's already learned the ins and outs of her mouth, how to make her gasp or shiver or crave for more. His desire for the details is astounding, and she adores it. Though she returns the favor easily, through the few ways she'd noted his breathing change and stutter last night, like when she tugged on his lower lip with her teeth. Swept her tongue across the spot in order to soothe it.

When they pull apart and she feels his breath whisper across her lips, she feels a pang of regret deep in her heart for letting him get this close. She's going to have to break his trust later this very day.

But she can give him this, she thinks. She can give him the softness of her skin and her lips and the newly awakened thoughts in her mind that she tries to organize like scraps of paper in the wind.

She can give him this.