Like The Sun, Like The Moon
Chapter Twelve
It had been a wonderful afternoon; ever since their arrival in Nibelheim, the weather had been humouring them with warm, pleasant sunshine which allowed even the town's general creepiness to appear as a welcoming kind of hospitality. And although Cloud had, much to her dismay, refused to include her in his investigatory platoon, Yuffie had quickly learnt to appreciate a while of undisturbed togetherness with her one and only… best friend.
At the moment they were sitting peacefully at a table in one of the local inn's well-lit rooms, playing a game of chess in amiable silence and blissful ignorance; it nearly felt as if, only a few houses away, their travel mates weren't fighting for their lives right then… almost as if Yuffie hadn't drawn an utterly disturbing conclusion many hours ago that had been nagging at her ever since then.
Certainly she didn't want to spoil the atmosphere, that much she had so far realized while staring blankly at the chessboard in front of her, but then again…
…
"You're Jenova's son," she finally declared in the bluntest fashion possible, shattering the silence as well as his black pawn when she made her white queen slay it in a rather random, rather cruel fashion.
He quirked an eyebrow. "So suddenly?" he wondered aloud as he collected the former pawn's fragments and cast them aside before threatening the queen with his last tower.
"Don't suddenly me," she snarled and crushed the deceased pawn's neighbour under her queen, "That's an important piece of information you've been hiding from me, you know."
"I hadn't thought you'd have a problem with my heritage," he quipped lightly and took the queen out with his tower, frowning briefly at the second pawn's remains – the girl had practically pulverized the poor guy.
"You said you'd destroy her. It. Whatever," Yuffie went on, grabbed the queen he had just set down outside the chessboard and used it to slaughter a third, innocent inhabitant of Pawn Street. "Jenova, I mean."
"You are defying the laws of chess," he informed her as he let one of the dead pawns' relatives avenge his brothers.
"But you are carrying her cells as well." When she noticed he had placed the queen in a safe distance, she grabbed the white king instead and used it to fling three pawns in a row off the board in one single movement. "Not the current you, the real you."
With practised ease, he caught all three chessmen. However, his eyes wouldn't meet Yuffie's intent gaze. "You're asking us to…" she all but mumbled, hesitant all of a sudden, "…no, you are making us…" She gulped, her final words a mere whisper. "…kill you…" Her demanding stare, fixed on him, turned almost pleading. "…aren't you?"
And with all the calmness in the world, he placed the pawns on the table. He didn't answer after that, but simply gazed out of the window with an unreadable expression on his face.
Yuffie's face fell, yet she couldn't even voice her disappointment – her throat felt far too dry so suddenly. Thus she, too, directed her attention at the steadily growing shadows cast onto the town by an undoubtedly beautiful sunset.
For a while, she watched a spiky blond head wiggling around the market place, soon vanishing from her field of vision. Less than a minute later, the last, warm beams were gone at last; the sun had eventually vanished beyond the horizon.
And finally, Leon decided to grace her with an answer.
"It's funny," he announced with a miniscule smile on his lips, "the way you just phrased it…" His face turned blank once more. "…almost makes me feel sorry to have chosen this procedure."
Silence.
She'd thought she would be ranting, possibly crying, at least gasping or something.
But she simply sat in silence, gazing at everything and nothing at the same time – anywhere but at him.
She vaguely wondered about her inability to express her feelings just then, but at the very moment she did so, she realized she couldn't even pinpoint them. There were so many thoughts, so many emotions running through her body that she ended up incapable of grasping any of them.
Was it sadness?
Was it fear?
Or even anger?
Possibly disappointment or despair.
But no…whichever sensation she named, it didn't quite fit what she was experiencing. It was more like an overwhelming mixture of all of them, so overwhelming in fact that she soon gave up her attempts on defining them.
Apropos… maybe resignation was the most adequate term to describe her current state of mind. After all he had left quite a number of hints and facts pointing in that direction, subtly and yet unambiguously. Upon combining what little he'd told her, she'd soon figured it out. She'd known for nearly a day already; after mulling over the mystery that was her friend throughout a relatively comfortable car ride from Cosmo Canyon and beyond, everyone would have come to that conclusion.
And yet, a bit of hope had remained. The hope that maybe she was overanalyzing, just interpreting too much into his words.
By now, however, she knew better. She had to realize that her hope had merely been an illusion. Sephiroth wasn't a man not to consider his words twice before phrasing them. He was a man smart enough to be completely aware of what he said, what he implied and what he didn't voice at all; this was, after all, one of the qualities she'd always admired him for.
But even if he hadn't uttered all those clues on purpose – which was highly unlikely anyway – his latest statement had completely annihilated any doubts or hopes there could have been.
He was planning to die.
He was honestly planning to die.
…at their hand.
She gulped. It was her first conscious action in minutes and as such finally succeeded in awakening her from her stupor. His words, his plans weighed more heavily on her than ever, and yet the though felt somehow…distant, so oddly unreal she was still barely able to register them as facts.
Blinking twice, she kept herself from digressing again. She would drown in desperation and self-pity later on, but she hadn't even tried yet. Maybe he wasn't quite as determined as he sounded…?
Cautiously, she stole a glance at her companion. He was sitting as calmly as ever, gazing out of the window with an apparently nonchalant expression. Even the beautiful sunset unfolding itself before them didn't seem to faze him. And yet, knowing just where to look, she did notice his eyes had narrowed ever so slightly.
He was deep in thought as well.
"You're serious about this, aren't you," she finally stated, her voice soft yet shaky.
His eyes met hers. "Obviously I am," he replied matter-of-factly, his face betraying none of his feelings.
Yuffie sighed. So he wasn't about to be very cooperative in this talk, which only made it more difficult for her to figure out the right questions to ask. Isn't there a way around it? Do you value your life so little? What am I supposed to do without you? All those questions felt far too insensible, but then again, all questions or suggestions probably would, considering the topic's delicacy. Thus, she simply settled with a plain "Why?" – for now.
At that, he sent her a long, intent look and spoke at last, "I do believe you listened to my explanation back at Cosmo Canyon. Jenova has to be eliminated completely, which also applies to anything originating from it."
It wasn't the first time that day that his words hit her like a punch in the face, but she wouldn't let it show. "Even if," she declared in a rather nervous fashion, "Originating from it doesn't make you guilty." She sought his eyes. "As long as you stay as great a person as you are…" Her voice grew softer. "…you shouldn't need to die."
Again, he took his time in responding, obviously pondering just how to counter her display of affection. "As long as Jenova exists, in whichever form that may be, peace won't return to this world," he stated matter-of-factly, "There is no alternative."
She was stunned for a second, yet finally her face twisted in sudden irritation. Or maybe it was frustration, she wasn't so sure.
Not that she minded.
Her temper was living up again, and she couldn't be more grateful. "But you are not Jenova!" she stressed, rising from her chair while hammering both her palms onto the table, causing the still assembled chessmen to shiver in fear. "You can't just generalize this! You may be its son, but that doesn't mean you're the same – and that makes a big difference!" She paused briefly to stress her words' and glare's effect before continuing at a more understanding yet still annoyed tone, "And yes, I know you're currently inhabiting her…its body, but you are definitely not Jenova – you can't simply give up your will to live! We'll just have to get back your real body and find you a cure. I'm sure there's some materia, some therapy…some something out there that'll help." Her face softened at last. "There has to be." As she looked down at him, the faintest of smiles appeared on her face, even though it was a bitter one. "There's still hope," she concluded.
And there it was again, the word that had deluded her way too often for comfort.
Hope.
A word of many meanings. Primarily, it was used as a positive, optimistic word, but then again…
"Hope is a mere excuse for resignation."
She stared at him blankly. There were so many layers to that statement she didn't even bother counting them, but decided to respond to the most obvious one before it would get her confused. "Hope is also a cure to resignation."
He sent her an odd look, calculating and sympathetic. "That may be true."
Bewildered, she returned his look.
She didn't know what it meant.
He, however, did.
As much as her sudden optimism flattered him, he knew it was unfounded. Her so called hope was based on the assumption that he was merely Jenova's son. Yet while she knew he was at the moment wandering around in the enemy's body, he'd never revealed a certain part of his master plan to her.
The part in which he'd end up fusing with Jenova.
But as desperate her wishful thinking sounded, he decided not to shatter her hope just yet. Instead he got up wordlessly and looked out of the window, frowning at a set of blond spikes wiggling its way towards the other end of town, their little group's alleged leader's cubic frame all but glowing under the last, fiery red rays of the setting sun.
With a sigh he returned his attention to the young ninja still watching him expectantly. "You're free to research whatever you deem necessary," he spoke in his usual, expressionless intonation, "…but you shouldn't get your hopes up too high." As always, he hadn't quite voiced everything that was crossing his mind just then, and yet it was enough…for the time being.
Enough awkward conversation for the day.
Enough interaction that might hinder his mission.
And so he sent her a final glance before exiting at last.
Yuffie stared at him wordlessly. Her mind was, once more, on overdrive. But eventually, she followed his example and looked out of the window, catching just another glimpse of blond and dusky sunrays. She rolled her eyes, when suddenly they fell onto the chessboard. Her lips curled into a lopsided smirk.
As much as Cloud's frequent game overs annoyed her, at least the chessmen she had formerly slaughtered were alive once again.
Not to mention that she'd been able to witness the same, beautiful sunset thrice in a row – even though she would have enjoyed it far more under less depressing circumstances.
It was then that a thought occurred to her – an odd thought, somewhat illusory and even clichéd, but maybe it could work – maybe enjoyment was the keyword.
She would be looking for a cure wherever she could, but in the meantime, she would do her best to make him, if not happy, then at least happier.
For if she could lighten up his life, he might actually learn to value it.
End of Chapter Twelve
A/N: ...sooo...slow...
...so...incredibly...slow...
...and...tardy ...
...and...incredibly sorry as well!
I've been owing you guys this chapter for, like, forever, and I wish my muse hadn't abandoned me all those months ago. Or rather, my homework shooed it away - the last months of my school life have been the most exhausting ones as well.
But since I haven't had much time for creativity back then, I'm proud to declare that I'm now twice as motivated! Thanks to that the next chapter is well under way. Actually, it was supposed to be a part of this one, but I decided to give my chapters a moderate length of 2000 to 3000 words from now on, so that I don't lose my inspiration as easily and can update more often. I hope you don't mind this too much.
With lotsa luv and greetings,
Linnya
..and especially much luv and even more greetings to those adorable people who reviewed (102 already, yay!) moonstarlight, Peanuckle, thunder sister, TOWTWUKER and GodOfDespair - I love you guys! And special thanks go to moonstarlight for the nice wake up call; I really needed one of such :)
Cya in the next chapter, and don't forget to drop a review!