A/N: What was Elena thinking after Damon forced her to leave him and Jeremy? Did she simply accept his orders or fight them? How does it feel now that she knows what Damon is doing to her? Can she find herself now that he set her free or, will she remain irrevocably tied to his will? Is the bond broken? Can it be truly broken?

Chapter 3 - Leaving

17 Days Ago

I want to scream. I want to rage and cry and fight with him until he relents.

But my body won't listen.

I want to throw my arms around him and force him to keep me.

My body won't listen?

I want to jump out of this car and run back to him.

My body won't listen.

Everything in my heart says 'Go Back'.

My body won't listen!

I want to tell Damon I love him.

I know he won't listen.

"Elena, are you okay?"

Bonnie has been quiet since we left Damon and Jeremy at the cabin. I've certainly had no desire to speak. However, the worry in her voice encourages me to turn away from the window and my own internal struggle.

"I don't think I am," came out more defeated than anything.

"What did he say?"

Seeing the real concern on her face, I reply with the truth, "He said… 'Go home.' He said he was setting me free." The pain clarifying with each word I speak. A sob escapes my lips as I try to hold back tears.

Taking a deep steadying breath, I continue, "Damon will stay and teach and protect Jeremy,… and I have to go home and not come back. Which is why we're in this car." Tears leak down my face as I choke out those last words.

"He's trying to do what's best for you, Elena," was her quiet, confident response.

Anger surges through me forcing a biting retort. "What's best for me?! How is it that anyone gets to make that decision for me!" The anger forcing its way out through the only available outlet, my voice.

Bonnie shrinks into the far corner of her seat and lets off the gas. As the car coasts to a stop, I give her my full attention. Watching her cringe and prepare to flee, I put my back into the door mirroring her position. Acknowledging her fear allows me to gain visible control.

"Don't get me wrong Bonnie, the rational part of my brain understands what he did, even agrees that it might be for the best. My heart on the other hand, has different ideas." My rage slipping away as fast as it came on, leaving emptiness in its wake.

"I'm heartbroken and I feel like I deserve it."

Lunging forward, she grabs my hand. "No, Elena! No one deserves to feel that way."

Shutting my eyes to avoid her look of dismay, "Don't I? I've hurt him so many times, Bonnie. I've rejected him for his choices. I've rejected him for Stefan. I've pushed him away out of fear. I pushed him away for all of you," Meeting her gaze shows me shame creeping into Bonnie's eyes as she considers that last declaration. "Now it's my turn." Defeat stealing back into my voice.

"Elena,… he isn't trying to reject you, or hurt you. He's trying his best to love you. He doesn't want you forced into being with him."

My breath escapes in a sound that might have been a snort. "Forced?! Is that what you think? Is that what everyone thinks? That I'm being forced into this!" My emotions gain in power with every word spoken. "That Damon somehow knew about the sire bond and forced me to sleep with him?! To choose him?!" At that, I stop.

Black veins radiate from my eyes. My fangs scrape across my lip. I push back with all that I have, breathing through my emotions, trying to find a moment of calm.

I summon the feel of heated skin beneath my fingers. Warm breath and soft lips trailing down my body. The pure happiness on his face before we made love the last time.

A hand wrapped around mine. Bonnie.

It's remarkable how things can change.

When I made my choice before the bridge, I let him go. He still came back for me and I hurt him all over again.

The pure awareness of all that pain coalesces into words of guilt.

"Everyone gets hurt or dead because of my choices. Maybe it's a good thing that it's out of my hands. Maybe Damon will make better decisions for my life that I have. Had I learned to listen to him sooner; allowed him to be more ruthless; realized that I would have to become a vampire if I wanted to live. Any or all of those would have ultimately saved lives. Maybe your mom's, maybe Jenna's."

"Elena!" Shock evident in her abrupt outburst. "No! You can't think that way. There's no going back. You simply move forward from this moment. Damon doesn't want you be his puppet. If you gave in to him every time he asked, he wouldn't have fallen in love with you. You challenge him. You make him work to be a better person. You believe in him. No one else can give him that. You redeem him, every day. Damon set you free so you do have a choice." Bonnie clearly believes what she's saying but, I'm not convinced. "He made his. The same one he always makes."

"You set him free and he came back. More in love with you than ever, if his actions are any indication. Now, the choice is yours." The smallest flare of hope courses through me. "What do you want to do with your freedom? Do you want to fight and rage and cry over the injustice? Do you want to give up? Or, do you want to respect what he is trying to give you and, when the time is right, show him with the consistency of your actions exactly what you want."

"Decide what you want, Elena. Decide how you feel. When you're sure, you won't have to convince anyone else. We will believe it, because you do."

As I contemplate her words a sense of peace and hope and determination fill me.

We resume our drive home. In the silence, a plan begins to form.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed my little flashback. I'll be interspersing them into the story as we move forward. I know I've hinted at what Elena has been up to during Damon's absence. There will be more coming. Elena has been a busy girl. Consider this; if Elena dug up the origin of the sire bond, what would it look like. I have some great ideas and a half written chapter. Give me some of your thoughts in a review. I will see if they can add to the story or the resolution. See you next time.