Backseat Driver
"Tony, I really think that we were supposed to take that left about half a mile back and…"
"Oh shut up Mc-Back-Seat-Driver, I know exactly where we are."
They had been driving nearly an hour along an abandoned dirt road in search of a house which was supposed to be only fifteen minutes away. Clearly they were lost, although there was no way in hell that Anthony DiNozzo was going to admit that.
"First of all Tony you have absolutely no idea where we are, if you did then maybe we would be at the Petty Officer's house by now instead of lost."
Tony opened his mouth to tell Ziva that they were not lost, perhaps slightly misplaced though, but was cut short by the continuation of her tirade.
"Secondly, you cannot blame McGee for this…"
"I didn't"
"You just did."
"When?"
"When you said he was driving, which he is clearly not."
"No I said he was back-seat driving."
"McGee is nowhere near flexible enough for that."
"No Ziva, backseat driving is where someone who isn't actually driving keeps offering annoying and unhelpful advice slash keeps whining to the person who is. Besides it would be impossible to actually drive from the back seat."
"Not impossible, you just need to be quite flexible, yes?"
"Ziva, I'm telling you…"
"And Tony I'm telling you that it is possible because I have done it."
At this DiNozzo's eyes widened and the slightest smirk of intrigue and arousal began to creep across his lips.
"Hands or feet Ziva?"
"What?"
"When you were backseat driving – literally – were you doing it with your hands or your feet?"
"Feet" she said simply and returned to looking out the window, wondering why both her co- workers and their frustrating language were so strange.
This meant that she didn't spot the incriminating looks on both Tony and McGee's faces as they silently pictured Ziva's legs twisted and contorted around the front seat of a car. DiNozzo's mind was happily contemplating the extent of the dexterity and flexibility of Ziva's well toned legs and what uses he could put them to when he was rudely pulled from his reverie by Ziva's relieved sigh of "finally."
As they got out of the car and walked towards the petty officer's house, which they had now spent the better part of two hours trying to find, Tony lagged slightly behind, taking the opportunity to enjoy the view of his partner. As he finally managed to pull his eyes away from those perfectly sculpted legs he thought to himself "I'd love to let her prove to me just how flexible she is."