AN: Seriously, me and tumblr aren't friends, but here's a little bit extra Ms tiaralshelton (:. No idea how long this entire thing will be, but I was bored and work was crap soo! Next chapter definitely won't be as soon.

This chapter got strange quickly.

Gifts

When seducing someone, Harvey had often found that gifts worked just as well (if not better) as any sonnet or song only with the added benefit of tangibility. They could be as practical or they could be as sentimental as the situation called for. He'd been very successful thus far as a gift giver; he'd never once had a gift poorly received and he prided himself on matching the gift to the date. Gifts were something he felt secure with, and considering how insecure he was feeling right now, he'd take what he could get. And so, gifts were his first port of call when it came to seducing Mike. It hadn't taken long for him to come up with something; Mike had asked for one after all! It was a sure thing!

"Oh my good God Harvey I could KILL you right now!" that however, hadn't been the response he had been expecting. Thank God the intercom was off. He couldn't help but feel disappointed, slumping in his office chair. Mike, fuming, was stood opposite his desk, sleeves rolled up as usual and giving Harvey an ample view of the muscles in his forearms: they twitched enticingly as he clenched and unclenched his fists. He was so beautiful when he was angry, like a towering tower of furious rage (Harvey had difficulty being poetic when he was trying to suppress arousal, but that didn't stop him trying). Sadly this wasn't the best time to become enchanted by Mike's visage - he was meant to be listening, "What the HELL made you think this was a good idea?!" he wanted to sulk but would save that for when he was alone and had no pride to defend. Instead, he scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It was meant to be a gift. You do know what a gift is, don't you? Something you give to someone with no expectation of it being paid back for the sheer novelty of being a nice person. I'm led to understand that giving someone a gift is a nice thing to do, or has society been lying to me all these years?" it probably wasn't a great idea to insult the intelligence of the person you were trying to seduce but seriously! Who got angry about presents?! Mike threw his arms up in exasperation and Harvey's experience in life told him this wasn't a good thing and it was usually followed by his own idiocy being pointed out to him: this time was no different.

"It would be a nice thing Harvey, if you had TOLD ME!" Mike hands were firmly on his hips now as he appeared to almost loom closer, "What was I supposed to think when I went to get my bike and found it gone and another one in its place? Hmm? Believe it or not, it wasn't 'Oh! A new bike! Obviously some anonymous gift giver has replaced my old bike with a new one! How very generous of them!'" Harvey picked petulantly at a chip in his desk, "No! Like any other normal SANE human being, my first thought was, 'Holy SHIT I've been robbed!'"

… whoops?

"Oh." Mike seemed to deflate at Harvey's revelation, gingerly sitting down opposite him with a half-hearted glare. Harvey cleared his throat awkwardly before admitting lightly, "I may not have thought of that," Mike rolled his eyes, but thankfully didn't look angry any more.

"No shit," he snapped before sighing, "Sorry, sorry, I must sound so ungrateful but seriously Harvey! If you're gonna' pull something like that please, PLEASE, at least give me some warning – a text! A hint! A fucking post-it note on the saddle would have done it!"

"…Sorry?" this was where he was meant to say sorry right? He sighed mentally in relief at Mike's fond and exasperated smile.

"It's okay," a look of realisation came over Mike's face, "You bought me a new bike!" at this point Harvey was tempted to deny everything.

"Yes?"

"Holy shit, you bought me a new bike!"

"Well you did say you wanted one," he pointed out, though Mike didn't seem to be listening, a wide grin on his face now.

"Most awesome boss ever! Thank you!" now that was the response he had been expecting and he took the opportunity to bask under Mike's praise, gratitude and the warmth of his smile: it was a wonder he didn't cause traffic accidents.

"You're welcome," he blinked in surprise when Mike bounded to his feet, practically bouncing with excitement.

"I can't wait to try it out! I'll probably have to adjust the saddle but that can wait till I get home – I haven't had a new bike in so long, thanks!" he was gradually bouncing his way to the door, rubbing his hands together eagerly. Harvey couldn't help but feel a little put out that he was leaving so soon. He hesitated at the door, "Oh! I need the key to the bike chain!" he waited expectantly, his smile brimming with excitement. Harvey felt the bottom of his stomach drop.

Aaaw shit.

Well, the bike hadn't been a complete disaster at least! Only mostly one – just thinking about it made him want to cringe in embarrassment. He knew he had been suave once upon a time but he had a feeling that 'smoothness' wouldn't be an option with Mike. It was hard to act confident when you had absolutely no idea what you were actually doing. Logic told him it couldn't be that different to romance a man instead of a woman – surely! There was only one Y-chromosome of difference between them after all (he knew this to be a grossly inaccurate underestimation but the basis of his own self-confidence relied on him sticking to this idea)!

He'd had to phone a locksmith in the end.

This time though, this time would be different! He could do this, he could do this, he could do this…

Somehow, that train of thought had landed him in some fancy stationary shop (why there needed to be a whole shop dedicated to pens was beyond him), staring at their bizarrely vast selection of highlighters. Mike liked highlighters – he used them all time. More than once he'd arrived at Mike's cubical to find him rolling a high lighter lid between his teeth, soft lips wrapped around the plastic and his pink tongue darting out occasio- no! No, if he carried on with that train of thought he'd definitely never be able to shop here again. He took a breath and concentrated on the highlighters.

Slowly, they blurred into one big mass of neon. Shit – how was he meant to make a gift out of this?!

Suddenly, a bizarre image of him presenting Mike with a stationary bouquet popped into his head (a girl stacking the shelves looked at him strangely when he snorted in amusement). That was either a brilliant idea – a combination of traditional and something uniquely Mike – or a remnant of that joint he'd shared with Jessica last night… probably the joint then.

"Excuse me, Miss?" the girl looked up warily.

"Yes, can I help you Sir?"

"Yeah, are these all the highlighters you do?"

"Um, yes?" he smiled in thanks, turning back to the shelves.

Gingerly, he picked up a multipack of highlights. They were… nice he supposed – no that was a lie. They were just a pack of blindingly bright felt pens! There was nothing special about them! Mike could easily get these himself at Wal-Mart or someplace like that! He put them back with a huff, folding his arms over his chest. He glanced at the girl. He sighed. He couldn't believe he was about to ask this…

He peered intently into the bullpen, hidden carefully behind his laptop screen, 'working' as he waited for Mike to arrive for the morning. Anxiety gnawed at his stomach. This had either been a brilliant or an awful idea – no it was definitely an awful idea. He probably had time left to rush out to Mike's cubical and he'd never even know about what was waiting for him at his desk.

"… are you okay Harvey?" Harvey scowled and shushed the intercom, "Did you just shush me!?"

"Yes. I did. Now shush," Donna scoffed.

"Are you going through 'the change'? Is that was this is about?" Harvey's equally sarcastic response died on his tongue when Mike emerged into his line of sight. Harvey held his breath and watched.

Mike was frowning, slowly approaching his desk. He turned so his back was facing Harvey, much to his frustration. He hesitantly touched the gift Harvey had left on his desk, his fingers curling around the small card that sat perched on top. He held it for a good thirty seconds – Harvey imagined him reading it multiple times, blue eyes darting across the words, 'Enjoy, from Harvey' in disbelief. This had been such a bad, baaad idea. Maybe he could play it off as a joke? It definitely looked like a joke. He was such a joke and he really needed to stop smoking pot.

He groaned, head falling forwards as Mike's shoulders began to shake in obvious laughter. He wanted to die. He should have just gotten something else – chocolates, they would have been fine! You could even get chocolate with personalised writing on it in icing! That would have been perfectly nice and normal. Normal was good. No one had ever told him that being in love would make his brain melt out of his ears – or maybe that was the weed?

He looked up hesitantly only to groan and hide again: Mike was marching his way, a wide grin on his face. He took a deep breath and sat up with a neutral expression on his face just as Mike entered his office.

"You are simultaneously the most hilarious and bizarre person I know, you know?" Harvey said nothing, absorbing Mike's warm laughter silently, "A bouquet of stationary?! With erasers in the shape of flowers? And green bendy pencils for stems! And those mini yellow highlighters as bee's! Dude, what have you been smoking?" Harvey twitched in irritation at being called 'dude', "Thanks, Harvey," he shook his head fondly, backing out of the office, "You weirdo."

Silence followed Mike's whirlwind arrival and departure. Well. That could have gone worse he supposed.

"You have issues." He silenced the intercom with his fist.

Harvey pressed his forehead against the shops windowed front, staring despondently down at the little balls of adorableness rolling around in their pen. They were three beagle puppies, all obviously from the same litter and all equally as intent on conquering their siblings. They were obliviously charming, just like another puppy he knew. Despite having refused him before, Harvey was tempted to buy Michael a puppy just to see him smile. Though he supposed that was what had motivated his other purchases really, if he were honest.

One of the puppies broke away from its siblings when it was startled by its own sneeze. Blinking languidly, it peered up at Harvey with piercing blue eyes. The shop owner was staring at him as well at this point: he supposed most men didn't press themselves against the shop glass like an excited seven year old girls. Reluctantly, he leaned away from the glass (noting the smudge his forehead and nose tip had left behind). The puppy yawned and Harvey was leaning on the glass again: fuck it.

He's say that this was probably the weirdest thing he had ever bought under impulse, but he'd be lying. He was sat cross-legged in the middle of his apartment, his newly adopted beagle puppy curled up in his lap and snoozing on his arm. He smiled sadly as he rubbed its ears: there was no way he could keep him. His building allowed pets but when would he ever find time to take care of a puppy? He bit his lip, digging his phone out of his pocket and hitting his number three speed dial. After three rings, the phone was answered.

"What do you want Harvey?" he rolled his eyes.

"Lovely to see you too Jessica," she wasn't amused.

"What do you want?" he pondered his words carefully.

"How do you feel about a puppy crèche at the office?"

The dial tone was all the answer he needed. He sighed and pressed number two.

"Hey, what's wrong? It's not like you to call this late,"

"Donna: do you like puppies?"

He couldn't get rid of the puppy and he couldn't give it to Mike for the same reasons he couldn't keep it himself.

And he still didn't have another gift.

As a last ditch attempt, he tried to return the puppy to the pet shop but they wouldn't take it. He ended up leaving with the puppy and something else as well.

Mike jumped when something was deposited smoothly on his desk in front of him. Harvey watched his face expectantly as he blinked down dumbly at his new gift. Confused eyes eventually turned on him.

"It eats lettuce and other vegetables and drinks water. Its tank is being delivered to your apartment later today. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl – try not to kill it please," Mike looked down again. Then up.

"This is a miniature tortoise Harvey," slowly, the tortoise, a red bow stuck to its shell, crept across Mike's desk and awkwardly clambered up onto Mike's keyboard.

"I know. Don't kill it," Harvey strode away from the crowd of perplexed associates behind him and headed to his own office.

He sat down smoothly behind his desk and resisted the urge to bury his head in his hands. This had gotten entirely out of hand. It had however, made him realise something.

He thought he'd been freaking out over Mike's gender, but maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he was deeper in denial than he had thought. Maybe this really was about the fact he was in love… he'd never felt like this before so it's not like he had anything to base his behaviour off of. Maybe love really did make you do crazy things?

It was just… just that he'd wanted to gifts to be special in some way. He didn't want to give him something generic that he'd just picked randomly off of a shelf in some cheap attempt to get into his pants. He wanted… he wanted Mike to know he was worth more than that. That he was special and unique.

Rather than communicating that sentiment though, he was pretty sure he had just managed to express his inner lunacy.

He had a feeling he had been thinking too hard about this issue.

He jumped when his cell vibrated in his pocket. Glumly, he tugged it free and opened the text: it was from Mike.

'Thinking of calling him Harvey Junior – what do you think?'

He sat back to peer out into the bull pen where found Mike holding his tortoise aloft above his head before bringing it down to press a small kiss to the top of its head and tickle a finger under its chin. A smile gradually spread across his face.

God he loved that man.