4 Will He Touch Me?

"I know it's you, Jenny," he assures me.

Does he? I think he does. His hand cups my breast and I gasp with the pleasure of it.

"Sean," his name comes out as a breathless sigh. He takes a step closer to me, our chests are almost touching. His body heat is mingling with mine. His thumb brushes my nipple in a soft caress and I just want to crush his body against mine.

I grab his wrist and lead him back to my bedroom; the only light comes from the overflow of the bathroom's stark white light. It's just enough to see shapes and shadows. I sit on the bed as he stands before me. My hands tremble as I help him remove his jeans, pushing them past him hips and freeing his large erection.

I'm taken back by the size, I knew he would be large, everything about the man is large but in comparison to John, he's massive. I wonder briefly if it will fit inside of me then lose that train of thought when his hand wraps around himself and he pumps himself slowly a few times.

I stare, fascinated by the motion of his hand and find my own hand beginning to replace his. He hisses out a breath when I make contact and I wish I had more light to see his face. Does he enjoy how I touch him? Does he know it's me?

He moans once and then pulls my hand away, mumbling something about not lasting. I smile silently about that, glad to have that effect on him. He helps me stand and then lowers my bottoms, taking my panties with them.

We stand there, naked, his body outlined by the light. Nothing more than shadow's touching. I want to kiss him, to taste him and feel his body move under my fingers.

I look up as his head slowly lowers to mine. His lips, soft and warm, settle over mine. They make me dizzy. Two years since I've kissed a man, I forgot how much I enjoy it.

I open for him and his tongue sweeps in, tentatively at first and then more deeply as we get used to the taste of each other. I moan and cup the back of his head as his fingers tangle in my hair.

His other hand pulls me close and I feel his cock presses into my stomach. I shiver with need and anticipation. His hand slips from my hair and along with his other one, cups my ass and lifts me up, only to settle me in the middle of the bed.

He crawls on top of me, between my thighs. His penis is burning against my leg as our eyes meet in the dim light. He hovers over me and nibbles on my chin, kisses me deep and assures me that he knows it's me. He whispers my name as the head of his cock probes my entrance.

I'm hot and ready for him. I know exactly who it is I want and exactly what I want him to be doing. "Sean," I sigh as he begins to slide inside of me. "Oh, God," I cry, unable to keep quiet at the burning and stretching that he is making me feel.

"Jenny, you're too tight, fuck…" he mutters and grits his teeth.

He stops. We breathe deeply together. I feel tears prick my eyes and know he does too.

"Sean," my voice is thick with emotion. I want him to continue. To not turn me away. I want him to love me, even half as much as he loved her. I want him to let me love him, even half as much as I already do.

He's fighting guilt. I'm past that point. John would want me to go on without him. I'm sure Stacey would too. I have to tell him, I can't not tell him.

"Let her go, Sean. Let me in. Please, let me love you,"

He takes a deep breath and rests his head on mine. He kisses me again and I can taste the salt of his tears. He groans my name and then begins to move.

Slow and steady. Careful. I wrap my legs round him and urge him deeper. He obliges. I cry out as his thrusts grow in both strength and length. His hands roam as do mine. It's not quite making love, but it's a start. He's attentive and sensual. I cry out and fall over the edge and more in love. He cries out and only stumbles. I'm ok with that. He's losing his footing… he'll fall with me soon.

We lay in the darkness trying to catch our breath. His hands linger longer and he sleeps in my bed that night.

September eases into October and he's still here. He sleeps with me every night now. He talks more and laughs a lot. He always takes me to work and picks me up. Not to control me but to keep me safe. I love him. There's no two ways about it. I want to tell him but I don't want to scare him away. Not when he's just opening up.

October slides into November and then he tells me one day that he's got a job at the bar I work. He has the same hours so he can still drive me. He's the door man and he watches me more than the door, I've noticed because I watch him more than I do the bar.

His eyes turn stormy when men talk to me. Protective. I smile at him and he gives me one of his heart stoppers. I blow him a kiss and he laughs. No one would believe the difference in him over the last two months. He's learning to live again. We both are.

A man at the bar is getting too touchy and Sean grabs him by the shoulder and hauls his ass out. He comes back and asks if I'm ok. I nod then I reach over the bar, grab him and kiss him deeply. As I pull back, I stare into his eyes and tell him the words that have been on the tip of my tongue for months now.

"I love you."

He blinks at me and then kisses me again.

"I love you too, Jenny." He turns and strides back to the door, waving at the regulars that make cat calls at him.

I'm glad he showed. I'm glad he stayed. I'm glad he opened up and I'm glad he touched and loved me.

FIN