Title: Castiel in the Bunker
Chapter: Lessons with Kevin
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Dean, Sam, Kevin, and Cas. Dean/Castiel.
Spoilers: All of season 8.
Warnings: None
Summary: Dean and Sam leave the bunker to investigate and get supplies, leaving Castiel alone with the prophet. Kevin is wary of Cas at first, but quickly opens up to him like he never has before.

A/N: Did I say the Destiel was minimal? I am a lying liar.

Lessons with Kevin

While Castiel slept, Dean fingered his angel sword. The fallen angel had left his iconic weapon on the dresser of Dean's bedroom and Dean had picked it up and taken it to bed. Castiel had resisted sleep for so long that he had fallen asleep the instant he had closed his eyes. Dean remained awake, worrying about angels.

The bunker had not been warded against angels previously to allow Castiel the ability to visit. Dean realized they would have to change that now to have a strict, no-angel policy. If Metatron or any other angel visited at that moment, the only defense they would have was the angel sword in his hand. Then again, as the scribe of God, Metatron's ability to erase wards might make any precautions they took futile. Dean stayed up, worried he would have to use the blade to defend Cas. He glanced at Cas, happier than ever that he had allowed him to stay in his room. After a significant period of time, Dean managed to talk himself down from his heightened sense of paranoia. He set Castiel's sword above the headboard, next to one of his crucifixes. The blade would still be in reach, if needed.

Dean found sleeping to be such a huge vulnerability that the area surrounding his bed was likely the most well stocked space of the bunker, second only to the armory. Castiel had taken the side of the bed he favored, but Dean was nevertheless prepared to lunge after all the hidden guns, vials holy of water, and silver knives he might need in the middle of the night in an emergency.

You gotta sleep. Four hours. Just four hours.

Deducting the two and a half hours he'd slept earlier, Dean decided he could get away with resting for a shorter amount of time. No more than two hours. Dean began to nod off, his body resting on top of his covers. The last thing he did before falling asleep was check to make sure that Cas was still there, alive. He slept sitting up with his hand reaching towards Cas.

Dean woke up with a start. Memories from last night flashed through his brain vividly and he checked the time. 7:30 AM. His sleep goal had been met. Castiel hadn't budged since he had closed his eyes for the night. He had curled up on his right side with the covers tight around his body like he was trying to hide. Dean crowded over him to peek at his face. Cas was sleeping with a frown etched on his brow. "Cas?"

Maybe I shouldn't wake him. Dean pondered. Or, maybe he'll wake up if I stare at him hard enough?

Staring hard had served as an effective method used by Cas to rouse Dean more times than the Winchester could count. Dean did his best impersonation of an Angel Cas Stare, but his experiment failed. Human Cas wanted only to slumber. Looking upon his handsome, resting features, Dean began to understand how watching a person sleep could be gratifying. Castiel asleep was a marvel.

However, Cas wouldn't make a very good hunter if he slept like a rock all of the time, Dean reasoned, because most of the creatures they fought attacked at night. In his second attempt to wake Cas, Dean hastily passed a hand over Castiel's face twice to test his reflexes. Angel Cas would have gripped his arm tight, using superhuman agility. Human Cas continued to breathe delicate, peaceful breaths into the sheets. Dean cocked his head and narrowed his eyes at Cas. Everything about the fallen angel's sleeping form was fascinating. Suddenly, Dean snapped his fingers over his face, convinced the sound would wake Cas.

"Really?" Dean gawked when the man didn't stir. He nudged his shoulder and Castiel exhaled noisily, but continued to sleep. C'mon!

Finally, he flicked him hard in the chest.

"Ah!" Castiel cried, awake at last. When he turned and saw Dean staring down at him calmly, he was so startled that he almost fell out of the bed. It was the Angel Stare.

"Now you know how it feels," Dean gloated and Castiel whined.

"Did you hit me? You hit me! I never – "

"You sleep alright?"

"Not really. I don't know – " In spite of being smacked into alertness, Castiel was warm, comfortable, and overjoyed by Dean's presence, but he did not feel refreshed.

"Good! Breakfast and family meeting in five."

Castiel wanted nothing more than to fall asleep again. He didn't know why he did not feel rested, considering he had slept. "Why does my head hurt?"

Dean's eyes became big and delighted. "Maybe 'cause you're a little hungover."

Castiel groaned and turned into the bed. He had a stomachache too. He couldn't believe his human body was ailing so quickly. "What does that mean? Am I ill? I feel remarkably unwell."

"It means you drank too much," Dean explained in a borderline infatuated tone of voice. Realizing Sam would be upset if he found out Dean had gotten their friend trashed on his first night as a human, Dean deliberated. "Hm. Okay. Don't come down until you've finished off both those glasses of water over there. You like coffee, don't you?"

"Coffee is my favorite beverage," Castiel perked up. He could taste the coffee already. So far, one of his favorite things about being human was his capacity to be influenced by substances that wouldn't have fazed him in his angelic form.

"Apart from booze?" Dean grinned and Cas groaned yet again. The fallen angel was a man after his own heart. "Liquor and coffee, huh? You better be careful or you'll tear a hole in your new human stomach."

"I think I already have." Castiel curled into himself more tightly and Dean fought his urges to touch him.

"A little breakfast and a little coffee will fix this. By the time you finish that water, we'll have coffee ready for you, okay?" Dean got off his bed and bounded for the door. The last thing he said to Cas before leaving was, "Don't puke!"

The scent of eggs wafted into the air like a glorious protein essence. Dean created the most beautiful plate of eggs, bacon, and toast ever seen at the bunker. He put the plate in front of Kevin. Kevin eyed him over his enormous mug of coffee.

"I already ate."

"Are you shittin' me?" Dean had just about had it Up to Here with Kevin's attitude. "You didn't already eat this gorgeous plate of eggs and bacon."

"I'm not messing with you, Dean. Sam got up early and cut some fruit for me. He made me some French Toast too. It was good." Kevin preferred Sam's type of breakfast a hundred times over what Dean had offered him. Sam had gone as far as to cook vegan French Toast. Kevin hadn't even known vegan French Toast was possible. Before Dean had joined them, Kevin had apologized to Sam for having suggested that he would have preferred him dead the night before. Kevin still wished the gates had been closed, but he couldn't be cruel to the nicer brother that had offered him sweet sustenance. "Sorry."

French Toast? Dean gave Sammy a curious, reluctantly pleased look. "Well, that's cute."

Dean took his eggs to Sam instead, and his brother lifted his hand in refusal. "Um." Sam drew in his lower lip, knowing he was about to offend Dean. "Uh…I had some of that toast too. So, I'm good."

Dejected, Dean looked down at his eggs and bacon with a heavy sigh. With perfect timing, Castiel stumbled into the room, his hair uncombed, wearing Dean's clothing. "Cas, I made you some eggs!" Dean announced, cheerily adding, "and bacon."

"Thank you. Where is the coffee you promised me?" Castiel took a seat by Kevin and rubbed his eyes. His overt humanness and the casual, intimate air with which he demanded coffee from Dean flabbergasted both Kevin and Sam. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Cas looked like a drained hunter. Kevin and Sam were not too surprised he was wearing Dean's clothing, but they were so unused to seeing him in anything other than his suit and coat that they didn't know what to say to him. They couldn't even remember to bid him a good morning. Cas was a fumbling mess.

"Cas, are you okay?" Sam gasped, worried that Castiel had become afflicted by something in addition to becoming human. "Where did you sleep? On the floor?"

"Uh…" Cas began. Dean said he wasn't supposed to talk about it. Did that also mean he wasn't supposed to talk about not being allowed to talk about it? The way Cas looked to Dean for assistance provoked suspicion in their companions. "I slept in…"

"On the couch," Dean cut in, lying so blatantly that Sam made one of his patented skeptical faces. This was another thing he wouldn't be able to get a straight answer from Dean about and he knew it. Sam coughed and cleared his throat to let Dean know that he knew he was lying through his teeth.

"That explains a lot. Rough night, huh?" Kevin questioned and reached over to pat down Castiel's unflattering side-Mohawk. Dean smacked Kevin's hand away.

"Cut that out. I haven't taught him about combs yet." Dean placed the eggs and bacon before Cas, smiling. "Eat up before it gets cold."

"Is there something wrong with my hair?" Castiel asked, touching his hair in a distressed fashion.

"Nah, it's perfect. You're a regular trendsetter." Dean teased. To avoid openly laughing at the way Castiel's hair shot out at the side, he parted from Cas to get him his promised cup o' Joe.

Dean served himself the remaining bacon and eggs and ate next to Sam, peering over his brother's shoulder to look at the laptop sitting before him. The Internet had exploded with sightings of fallen angels. The 'family meeting' wasn't supposed to have begun without Cas, but they had already discussed some plans for what to do about Metatron and how to investigate the fallen angels. They all believed Cas needed to be shielded from the worst of the news for at least a few days while he adjusted to human life. Dean had let Sam and Kevin know that Castiel was not taking Metatron's betrayal well in a brief, meaningful warning, and he argued that one of their goals should be to make sure Cas didn't run off alone.

Dean ate quickly because they didn't have time to waste. He caught Cas up on what he needed to know. "Alright, Kevin's still on to translate the angel tablet. Kev, you see anything in there about how to gank angels and you let us know ASAP."

Kevin nodded.

"If you can find out what the real trials for that tablet are, we could use that too," Sam said. He glanced over to Cas, unsure if he could ask him what he wanted to know without upsetting him. The mention of 'real trials' had already caused a visible change in Castiel's demeanor. "I mean, if we can figure out a way to close the Gates of Heaven, we could shut Metatron up there, right? What would happen to the angels down here if we did that? Do you know, Cas?"

Cas tried to sip his coffee composedly, but his hand was trembling. "I don't know. The tablet would have the answer to that. I learned of the existence of the tablet around the same time you did. At this point, I'm less well versed on it than Kevin."

"Do you know…" Sam hesitated. "Do you have any idea what might become of the angels that have fallen? Would they still have their powers?"

Cas froze, staring at the table. "They'll be confused. Wounded. Severed from Heaven, they can't communicate directly with each other. If they still have powers, they will be numbed. They are not like me. They still have their graces. Depending on the angel, they could still wield considerable power. And…they might be angry. They might be so disillusioned that they hurt themselves or others."

Dean remembered the conversation they'd had at the bar while hunting the Cupid's bow. More than anything, he was concerned they would hurt Cas. "Each angel will react differently to falling. Some may wish to live peacefully among humans, but you shouldn't count on that. Don't underestimate them," Cas warned, "They would make formidable foes."

"Like Lucifer? Like a bunch of mini-Lucys…" Dean glanced down at the floor.

"Very much so, but unlike him, they won't have to hunt for vessels. Almost all the angels took human vessels soon after everything that happened…recently. After I upset – " Castiel became so troubled he had to stop before continuing, "…the balance on Heaven and Earth."

That was good information to know. Now they knew they were unlikely to be threatened by disembodied celestial beings. Dean joked, "So, what? They'll all be running around with bad taste in suits?"

Cas grinned the saddest grin, making Sam and Dean regret they had brought on the topic so soon. "I need to find them," Cas said, pained. "I should be helping them as we speak."

"No." Dean insisted firmly. "Cas, we need you here. We need you to stay here with Kevin to angel proof the hell out of this place. Sammy and I are going to make a run for supplies."

"You can help him with the angel tablet too, if he has questions," Sam added. "Since you're kind of an expert."

"I understand," Cas replied with a sigh. He understood that he was being left because he was too big of a liability. He was a blundering, useless human with a fragile emotional core. "I'll do what I can. Are you feeling better, Sam?"

"A lot better. I was at Death's door. I feel like I made a complete 180," Sam answered. He had felt sluggish in the morning, but well enough to cook. Dean's hand touched his forehead.

"Still got a fever."

"This is a head cold," Sam countered. "It's nothing compared to what I had before." Yet, Sam's eyes were sunken in and he continued to embody poor health. He wouldn't admit to anyone that his chest hurt almost constantly and that he had a headache that wouldn't go away. "I'm getting much better."

Dean polished off his plate, suspicious. "We're gonna get you meds. Cas, you need anything?"

"Like what?" What do humans need? Cas concentrated on his inner question. "I have clothes. Food? Do we have food? I will need to eat again at some point in the near future."

Sam and Kevin shot each other laughing glances. "Yeah, we'll get food," Sam said, "Of course. Is there anything specific you want?"

Dean didn't let Cas answer because part of what Cas had said was nagging him. "You're just… You're okay with wearing my clothes all the time? We should probably get you your own stuff."

"Why?" Castiel questioned.

"I think he looks good," Sam interfered, a cheeky expression on his face. "We'll save money if you share."

"Is nobody going to ask me what I want?" Kevin pouted, throwing up his hands.

"I was about to ask you," Sam exclaimed.

"Kimchi and bourbon. Lots of bourbon." Then, Kevin added, "Oh, and about a lifetime supply of coffee. Dark roast. Also, a new toothbrush and a bucket of Advil. Thanks."

"Bourbon?" Dean set his gaze on Kevin. You're just a kid. As a mental aside, he made a note to pick up a toothbrush for Cas too.

"It helps me work." Kevin shrugged. After one day in the bunker, Kevin had already developed a taste for the drink. Since Dean had been drinking for longer than Kevin had, it would have been hypocritical for him to judge him too harshly.

"I'm getting you salad too," Dean remarked, "We are not going to have a rehash of daily pig-anus buffets."

"Yeah, let's not…" Kevin looked sick just thinking about hot dogs.

"Drink some water while we're out. Both of you." Dean went to put his plate up. Sammy drained his mug of coffee and prepared to join his brother. Castiel, sucking on a piece of bacon, made a face of pure bliss so endearing that the Winchesters stopped to stare. He chewed the bacon into tiny bits and scooped up another mouthful of eggs. He had never tasted anything so wonderful and it showed.

"Cas?" Sam's mouth twitched in amusement. "You like eggs, huh?"

"These are the best eggs in the world," he replied, profoundly astonished. "They have to be."

Dean was so genuinely pleased that he couldn't come up with a witty response. He kicked the floor with a toe and immediately noticed the gesture of bashfulness was a telltale sign of how enthused Cas' compliment had made him. "They're just eggs. You're just not used to eating eggs."

"No, I've eaten the eggs at Biggerson's. Though I can hardly consider them eggs now."

At this, Dean reddened.

"You should try his burgers." Sam beamed, lifting his eyebrows. "They're really good."

"You make burgers?" Castiel gasped. "With your hands?"

Dean was getting too embarrassed to stay cool. He tried to make a smart remark to pretend he wasn't moved by Castiel's interest in his cooking. "No, Cas, I make them with my a – "

"With his very hands," Sam finished for his brother. He grabbed one of Dean's hands and gave it a loving caress like it was a miraculous instrument. "He's an artist."

Castiel wanted to eat Dean's burgers so badly his eyes shone with sheer wonder and anticipation. "We'll get the stuff to make them." Dean shoved his hands into his pockets, and moved his gaze away from the look of longing Castiel had fixed upon him. "We've got to get moving. Just, uh, don't forget to angel ward this place while we're gone, okay?"

"This is the best coffee I've ever tasted," Castiel told Kevin, after they had been left alone. Like Dean and Kevin, Castiel drank the brew black. Kevin made coffee so strong that Cas could feel all the hairs on his body standing at attention from the power of the caffeine coursing through his veins. "It's better than Biggerson's, by a long shot."

"Have you ever eaten anything that wasn't from a Biggerson's?" Kevin chortled and set his pencil down beside the angel tablet he had been working on translating.

"Yes." Castiel replied. When Kevin smirked into his mug, Cas asked him what was so funny.

"Man, you. The last time I saw you, you were roughing me around and now you're…" Kevin gestured to Castiel's body as if that was explanation enough. "Don't hate me for saying this, but I almost like you better now."

"Well, I don't," Castiel exhaled, but was not offended by the prophet. "Apologies for the way I treated you before. I was desperate. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Yeah, you always do. Dean's unhappy words rang in his head, causing him to sink into his chair miserably. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am better this way."

Kevin had half a mind to lord over Cas. He wasn't so tough and intimidating without his powers, was he? But, then, Kevin remembered Dean's speech about Cas' frail emotional state and he did his best to avoid being unkind. "I don't mean I'm glad you got cut up. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's just that sometimes when you're all powered-up, especially when you and Dean team up on someone, you have a way of making people feel… really small. It's like having two really controlling, intimidating dads."

Castiel contemplated Kevin's words. If only Sam had been a fly on the wall. He would have been screaming in agreement.

"Sorry. I'm not trying to be a downer. I like you a lot when you're cool and kind of goofy. Or when you're sticking my severed fingers back on." Kevin smiled. He couldn't fathom how scary Cas would be to an enemy. "I'm just glad we're on the same side."

"We'll always be on the same side," Cas said with a significant look to Kevin. "I will protect you, even in this inferior body. You should have had an angel watching over you from the very beginning, as it was written."

"Thanks," Kevin responded, his hands shaking a little. He felt over the finger that Crowley had severed where a shadow of pain continued to linger. All alone, he had been threatened, kidnapped, and tortured multiple times. He'd been forced to save himself more often than not because rescuers had come for him infrequently. He would not have minded having Angel Castiel at his side that whole time. Now, Kevin would be happy to take Cas as a human. "What's it like? Being human now?"

As soon as Kevin asked, Castiel expressed great relief like he had been waiting for that question.

"I'm so hungry. All the time," Castiel moaned. "I'm tired, even though I've slept. I get hot and uncomfortable sometimes and I have to change clothing. Everything is so much more intense, except for, well… all my senses that feel as though they've been dulled. My body feels so strange."

Angels had more than five senses and none of the five human senses of vessels worked the same when controlled by a full-blooded angel. Cas' fingers danced around the ceramic surface of his mug. He thought of alcohol and Dean. Intense. "Jittery. I think that's the word. I feel 'jittery.' And some state of being I don't know how to describe. And slow. Everything is so slow. I have to walk everywhere!"

Kevin burst out laughing and rolled his eyes. "Oh no. You have to walk. Like a human. Are all your powers totally gone?"

"Totally gone."

"That sucks. But we can find your grace and put it back inside of you, right?"

"That's not important right now." Castiel avoided the question because he wasn't sure what Metatron had done with his grace. He might have already destroyed it. Cas got up. "We should get to work on those angel wards."

When Kevin got up to follow Cas, he noted all the empty beer bottles and the almost completely drained bottle of whiskey on the table nearby that he had not noticed before. Immediately, he assumed either Cas or Dean had been drinking since Sam was sick and he had been in his room all night. Kevin ran after Cas to explain exactly where Dean had suggested they draw the wards.

Kevin wasn't very sensitive on the topics that required sensitivity. In part, his youth was betraying him. He was innocently curious and blunt. He hadn't known about the existence of angels for most of his life and now he suddenly had an acquaintance that was a fallen angel. A sliver of him thought the situation was insanely cool, like he'd been sucked into his favorite video game. At least, when he wasn't being tortured or suffering insanity, Kevin was amazed by the world around him. "Is it weird to be warding against angels for you? 'Cause you used to be one? Do you feel anything when you draw them?"

"It's weird," Cas answered as he finished painting the ward Kevin had begun. Kevin had an impressive ability to draw wards that Cas commented on briefly before responding to his other question. "They have no effect on me whatsoever."

"It's kinda convenient," Kevin said. "Now that you're not an angel, we can ward all we want. Dean wouldn't let us before in case you had to visit."

"True. I almost certainly put you all in danger before. Because of me, angels like Naomi and Metatron had access to you."

"Why are angels such dicks?" Kevin breathed. He had wanted to know for a long time because Dean often remarked on their dickishness, in spite of having an angel best friend. Kevin had only known Metatron for a short amount of time, and he was stunned by how two-faced he had revealed himself to be. Since Metatron had healed him, Kevin had believed it was possible he was nice. How wrong Kevin had been.

Kevin. Castiel exhaled a huge, ragged breath and glanced up at the ceiling to ask the Lord for more patience. He wondered if this was how parents felt. "We're just born that way."

"Are you really born? Like people? With moms? Or are you built?" Kevin's eyes went wide.

"No, we're not born like humans. We are created by God."

"Instantly? Like God just thinks about you and you happen?"

"Pretty much. We tend to be created in batches." Cas creased his mouth, thinking angels must have seemed truly unusual to humans.

"Whoa." Kevin carried the ladder to the next place they planned to ward. "That's insane. So you don't ever… do it?"

"What?"

"It." Kevin expressed obviousness. "Sex."

Castiel opened his mouth and then closed it. Intimacies between true form angels did not resemble human copulation by any stretch of the imagination. Cas thought for a moment before answering. "Angels cannot be produced through sex, but we can have sex, as you understand it, as long as we take human vessels. An angel in a human vessel can mate with humans and even produce offspring, but that offspring is forbidden."

"Nephilim." Kevin guessed correctly. "But, as long as you don't produce offspring, it's not forbidden? You can sleep with all the humans you want if you use protection."

"I suppose… well… There are many angels that do…"

"But you don't."

"Is this vital knowledge for you to understand the tablet?"

"You're like The 40 Year Old Virgin," Kevin whispered in awe. "How old are you?"

"Who is that?" Castiel crinkled his brow. As an afterthought, he said, "I'm older than most vertebrate life forms on Earth."

"Steve Carell," Kevin said. "Does that make Dean your Seth Rogen?"

"I don't understand that reference."

"I'll show you later." When Kevin and Cas finished warding the entire bunker, the mountain of boxes near the main room distracted Kevin. Covered in splotches of paint, Kevin fished through the boxes. Quickly, he pulled out an item he found to be interesting. "Cas, do you know what this is?"

Castiel rushed forward, shaking. "The Spear of Destiny! Where did you find that?"

"It was in this box. Is it important? Holy shit." Kevin paused, jogging his memory. "Wait, you mean like in Constantine?"

"Why do you keep saying things I don't understand?"

"Neo. Keanu Reeves?" Kevin narrowed his eyes. "Never mind. What is the Spear doing here?"

"I don't know, but if any of these other boxes contain more artifacts like this…"

"Could that give us an advantage?" Kevin twitched with excitement.

"Quite possibly. Very possibly."

Kevin and Cas tore through the storage boxes, cataloguing every important item they uncovered. Cas was an encyclopedia of knowledge, able to recount even the smallest details of most of what they found. Kevin began a database on his laptop, soaking up Castiel's words like a sponge. "This is incredible. How do you remember so many things? Did you keep all the knowledge you gained over the millions of years you've been alive?"

"I don't know. Maybe I have… Maybe I'll slowly begin to forget."

"Dean and Sam are going to freak! This is so awesome!" Kevin glowed. Hurriedly, he backed up the file he had created into the place he used to store information on the tablets. They took a lunch break.

Kevin taught Castiel about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, explaining that they were an essential American staple. They each drank a glass of water and Kevin explained that humans could only last up to around three days without water. Now that Cas was human, drinking water was as important as eating. Castiel found an enticing bag of popcorn and Kevin stopped him just as he tried to pop it using the oven.

"No, Cas! That goes on the stove!" Kevin cried, and showed Castiel how to make the stovetop popcorn properly. Castiel found the process to be tedious, but the product was rewarding.

"Promise me you'll never put any metal objects into the microwave, okay?"

"I promise," Castiel replied, bewildered. "I don't feel very comfortable with microwaves. Whatever happened to building fires?"

"You are so weird," Kevin said for not the first time that day and then offered Cas some of the chips he'd opened.

After eating, they spent a few more hours with the storage boxes. Sam and Dean were taking their sweet time. Kevin had gotten a text from Dean to let him know where they were. That text had been followed by a text asking about Cas. When Kevin didn't reply immediately, Dean sent him another Cas-related text. "Oh my God, he is so overbearing!"

Cas is fine. Made him a sandwich. Haven't let him out of my sight. Don't forget my bourbon & toothbrush.

Castiel became attentive. "Is that Dean?"

"Yeah. Hey! You want to go on a tour of this place?" Kevin changed the subject. "I haven't seen the whole bunker yet."

"What about the tablet?"

Kevin looked down forlornly. He shut down his laptop and carried it over to the table of their main room. "I'll work on it later."

"It is your duty."

"My whole life has been nothing but tablets for over a year!" Kevin panted in a frenzy. "What is the point of it? They didn't do what I said when I translated the last tablet. What will be different this time?"

"We won't know unless you translate it," Castiel responded. "This time I will be here to help you. We will all protect you."

"I just don't want to do it right now," Kevin sniffled, near tears. He swore he would never cry in front of any of the guys. He didn't want to seem childish and weak. Kevin composed himself. He swallowed, "You know as well as I do that if it had been me instead of Sam, the Gates of Hell would be closed right now. You think Dean wouldn't have sacrificed you too? But it wasn't us. It was Sam. Why should I do anything for guys that don't give a shit about anything but each other?"

"That is not true. They care about more than that…" Castiel said quietly. Yet, Cas had no doubt that Dean would have sacrificed him because he had been unflinching when Cas expressed his will to lock himself in Heaven. Kevin was right on that account and it caused both of them suffering, but Cas saw through to the bigger picture. "Don't do it for them or because of anyone. Do it for humanity." Castiel reasoned. "If you are only able to find solutions that require a sacrifice, I will offer myself gladly."

"You would?" Kevin's wavering gaze met Castiel's frosty, absolute stare. He believed every word he said. "I started last night. I stayed up all night reading that angel tablet until I was dizzy."

"What did you find out? Did you tell Sam and Dean?"

Kevin shook his head. "I'm at the introduction that explains angels. There's nothing we can use there. That's why I didn't tell them. But also… I wasn't sure what I had hallucinated and what was real."

"What did you see? What did the tablet tell you?"

"It was a description of the essence of angels." Kevin replied with a distant look in his eyes. "I saw an angel in my head. It was… spectacular. God put an angel in my head. It was like I was looking at one right in front of me. I saw what you are… Or what you used to be."

Kevin paused and rubbed his eyes. He didn't know how to describe what he had seen. "How do I translate that? What I saw was like the entire expanse of the starry sky. All the stars joined together with wings made of sunlight. Incredible power and unimaginable beauty. That was you… wasn't it? I don't know. You see, I'm not sure if it was real. Is that what angels are?"

Castiel didn't answer.

"I passed out after seeing that. When I woke up, I tasted blue." Kevin blinked furiously. "I didn't just taste blue, I heard it."

The more Kevin spoke of true form angels, the more brokenhearted Castiel felt. He had been grander than anything that walked the Earth. His quintessence had been more magnificent than anything a human could comprehend or verbalize.

"Being human for you must feel like what a human would feel if he suddenly became a slug. How can you bear it?"

"With much pain." A tear threatened to escape the corner of Castiel's eye, but he extinguished it before it could.

"Then it's true. I'm sorry…" Kevin sobbed because he understood what Castiel had lost even if he could not explain it. He had been humbled through reading the tablet. He felt like a speck, traveling through the world with extremely limited perceptions. "But you're still good. You're better than the angels that still have their graces."

Castiel felt a spasm of surprise.

"The tablet said angels were created to protect humanity. Even without all that power, you're still trying to do that. You would still sacrifice yourself for humanity. Really, that makes you more of an angel than Metatron."

"We should go on that tour."

Kevin and Cas took a couple of beers for their walk around the bunker. There were many filing rooms and libraries that were not particularly interesting to them. Kevin was looking for rooms that were fun. He wanted to know if there was an indoor swimming pool or a game room. When they found a room with a pool table and a dartboard, Kevin almost collapsed with joy. "When we finish our tour we can come back to play darts. I love darts."

Kevin was sure there would be a swimming pool, but they never found one. Instead, they came across the firing range. "Cool…"

Castiel entered the room he had already become familiar with. He noted his coat and suit jacket were still on the floor. Kevin went forward to pick them up. "Were you in here last night?"

Cas didn't know why, but he had the urge to lie. He took the coat offered to him and decided to be honest with the prophet. "Yes. Dean was teaching me how to shoot."

"And you had to take off your clothes to do that?" Kevin raised his eyebrows.

"I got hot."

Kevin's eyes went wide and he made a silly face Castiel wasn't used to seeing on humans. "How did you get… hot…? From that? Wait, don't answer that."

"I can teach you how to handle a gun," Castiel proclaimed proudly. "I am confident that I absorbed Dean's lesson well."

"No… That's okay." Kevin had the desire to leave the room despite having an interest in firing handguns. It was giving him weird vibes.

Nothing could have given him weirder vibes than the next room they investigated. Cheerfully, Kevin opened a large metal door down the hall from the firing range. When he saw what was inside, he screamed. He shut the door and rested against it before Castiel could get a good look at what was inside.

"What is it?"

"It's a…" Kevin was panting. "A sex torture dungeon. An actual sex torture dungeon."

Castiel's features became grave. He grabbed the knob and gently eased the door open. True to Kevin's word, there were implements of bondage and torture from wall to wall. Both males gaped at the room with a mixture of surprise and horror, and they entered it slowly and timidly. Kevin stuck close to Castiel.

"What makes you think it's a sex torture dungeon?" Castiel asked in a small voice. "It could be a standard dungeon. Sam did mention something about a dungeon."

Kevin flicked his eyes to Cas quickly before surveying the room. "I read a little bit about the Men of Letters. A bunch of white guys in a secret society? That's almost a guarantee kinkiness is involved."

Castiel mulled over Kevin's statements. He had an enormous swell of human history in his brain. Ultimately, he nodded in agreement. With more confidence, Kevin explored the dungeon. He opened a drawer and almost screamed again upon pulling out a gag. He dropped it in the drawer, but was then startled by the sight of a black whip on the wall.

"Look at that, Cas! I knew it!"

"This room is disquieting."

"I've found porn too. Old porn. Yesterday, I saw this vintage Asian women porn. It was really creepy." Kevin shuddered. There was something unsettling about a secret group of white men fetishizing Asian women. "I'm so glad I'm not a girl."

"Why?"

"Dean," Kevin huffed. "He's into Asian women. I'm half of that, you know."

Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion. He was aware of Dean's attraction to Asian women, but had never thought about it very deeply.

"If I were a girl, he probably – no, he definitely would have tried to screw me already," Kevin said. "So gross. But, then… I dunno. Maybe if I were a girl, I wouldn't mind. Nah! Nope. It would still be gross."

Kevin's skin crawled at the thought of Dean giving him perverse looks up and down because he would regard his female self as an exotic Asian flower. "So gross," Kevin repeated, because it couldn't be said enough.

Silently, Castiel wondered how different his relationship with Dean would have been if he had taken an Asian woman as a vessel. It was an unusual thought. He remembered Anna and how quickly Dean had decided to sleep with her. Cas felt considerable turmoil on the subject. A apart of him was angry that Dean probably thought of him as less attractive than Anna or Asian women, but, at the same time, he wouldn't have wanted to be loved simply for being an Asian woman. The room and their conversation gave Castiel a slew of unexpected, unwanted thoughts and feelings.

"This is really BDSM."

"What does that mean?" Cas asked.

"You know, S&M," Kevin answered. "Sadomasochism? Do you know anything about sex? BDSM is about bondage, dominance, and submission. Like all this stuff, with chains and whips."

"For sex?" Cas asked plainly, cataloging Kevin's words in his head.

"Yeah," Kevin frowned. "Some people like being hit and hitting other people, but it's consensual. And fun for them, I guess. Do you think Sam and Dean use this room?"

"Maybe Sam," Castiel answered, much to Kevin's surprise. Such an answer couldn't go without a thorough explanation. Castiel and Kevin took a seat in the middle of the dungeon over a demon trap and Cas explained Sam's short-lived relationship with the demon Ruby and how she had influenced him into almost ending the world.

"He used to drink his girlfriend's blood? No way. Like a vampire?"

"Yes, but don't ever mention that in front of Sam. Or Dean," Castiel said. "Sam was very negatively influenced by that relationship. He is a better person now, no longer addicted to demon blood."

"Okay, I promise. As long as you don't tell them I haven't been reading the tablet."

"We have an agreement."

They were about to leave the dungeon when Kevin bumped into a desk. Honest to God, an old copy of The Kama Sutra spilled out of the desk. Upon finding that book and gasping in a scandalized fashion, Kevin felt obligated to explain it to Cas.

Castiel had seen many sex acts in his life and had a basic knowledge of many, but he was unfamiliar with all of the terms Kevin used. Kevin, seeing an opportunity to educate his fellow man, began to draw Castiel pictures with the corresponding, up to date slang commonly associated with first, Castiel had been appalled and baffled by the lesson, but he slowly gained interest. Kevin had an unexpected amount of knowledge on the topic.

The prophet was very happy with their diversion. He had littered the floor with crude stick figures. "Cas, you're human now. That means you can have lots of sex and babies, and nobody can stop you, so you better put all this stuff to good use."

He put his hand on Cas' shoulder and smiled as if he'd just told Cas the most wonderful thing in the world.

"I don't know if I want to."

"You're going to want to," Kevin said knowingly. "At least the sex part. Trust me. …Unless you're asexual."

When Cas expressed confusion again, Kevin explained all the different types of sexualities that he knew about. Several were completely new to Cas. He didn't know why humans had such a fascination with labels. "Really, as soon as you get the chance, you should try to get laid," Kevin said. "I know that's what I would do."

"Why? Why does it matter so much?"

"What do you mean 'why?' I mean, it feels good, for one," Kevin leaned back and thought carefully. It wasn't just about how awesome orgasms were. "It's nice to be with someone. Because life is short. You're used to millions of years, but humans don't get that. Humans are lucky to have one hundred years, and hunters? Even less. Hunters would be lucky to last 50."

Kevin contemplated the world he had been thrust into. "I think about dying almost every day. I kind of expect it, so, if I found someone I cared about, I wouldn't let that person go. When you find someone like that, don't waste your time. You might not have any more left."

The dread of mortality hit Cas hard. Suddenly, the child before him made him contemplate the world in a different way. Kevin sulked, lamenting the fact that most of the girls he ran into now were evil.

"Kevin! Cas!" Sam and Dean's voices echoed down the hall. The door behind Cas opened abruptly and Dean peeked his head in.

"Oh! You found the dungeon?! Sammy, they're in here!" Dean called. He entered the room and looked around before settling his gaze on Kevin and Cas. Quickly, his expression morphed into one of displeasure. Sam ran in to join his brother.

"Hey guys," Sam said, "What are you doing in here?"

"Did you angel proof the place like I asked?" Dean questioned in a surly tone.

"Yes," Kevin replied, indignant.

"What are you doing in here?" Dean surveyed the sexual drawings on the floor. His eyes caught on the The Kama Sutra and he fumed. "I asked you to do one thing, Kevin. Read the damn tablet, and you're in here giggling about sex like a couple of teenagers."

I am a teenager! Kevin thought loudly. His face fell because he felt a Dean storm coming. Noticing the drawings, Sam thought Kevin teaching Cas about sex was a little bit like the blind leading the blind.

"You were put on this earth for one reason!" Dean railed, causing Sam and Kevin to flinch, "You know what it's like out there! Why aren't you reading the tablet?"

Kevin remembered every AP exam he had ever studied for. He had given all of his time to those tests, staying up late, feeling the pressure from his mother, his friends, and his teachers. The tablets were those tests times a thousand. Translating the tablets wouldn't simply decide what college he got into, they would help decide the fate of the world. He was so sure he would crack, but he didn't. Kevin drew into himself and got up calmly. He walked up to Dean and gave him a defiant stare. "Did you remember my bourbon?"

"You little – "

Castiel joined the others with such speed it was as though he still had his angel quickness. He pulled Kevin back, protecting him with a defensive posture. "Don't upset the prophet," Cas said to Dean, fixing his blue eyes on him in the way he used to do when they first met. Cas had a newfound respect for Kevin. The boy was trying to understand things that couldn't be said in words with a limited human brain, and that was remarkable. Kevin had hope and innocence in a world that continued to let him down.

Dean saw Kevin looking at him with the same loathing and fear with which he used to look at his father. He felt himself becoming John and that terrified him. "Sorry," Dean said quietly to Kevin.

"He did read some of the tablet," Castiel said, in Kevin's defense, "But it was nothing of much use."

"What did it say?" Sam asked.

"Um. Basically, angels are infinite beauty and light. Beings of unfathomable power, created to protect humanity. They're the whole of a starry sky with sunbeam wings," Kevin babbled. "…and blue."

"What?" Dean and Sam asked.

"Blue. I don't know. I passed out and woke up tasting and hearing blue," Kevin explained, "Reading this tablet is as challenging as reading the demon tablet was."

He rubbed his eyes. Unbeknownst even to Kevin, the angel tablet had already taken a hold of him. He saw the world in tones much brighter than Sam, Dean, and Cas. Dean's eyes were radiant gems and Sam's smile was a gleaming bar of white. Most of the rooms in the bunker apart from the main room had either mood lighting or extremely dim light, but Kevin saw them all with a gleaming sheen.

"Sounds like you needed a little break," Sam said to Kevin, but he was really speaking to his brother. The taller Winchester stepped in to grab Kevin by the arm and give him a reassuring luminous smile. "We got your bourbon and three different kinds of kimchi. I got some that's ready to eat and this other kind that came in a bag... I'm not really sure what to do with it…"

Sam guided Kevin away, discussing cooking. As soon as Kevin was away from Dean, he felt better. Dean was left behind, feeling guilty, like an asshole.

"The prophet is a blessing," Castiel said to him before trailing behind Sam and Kevin, with The Kama Sutra and dirty drawings in tow.

Infinite beauty and light?

Kevin had a long conversation with Sam, in which Sam apologized and made excuses for Dean. They talked about everything, including the tablet and the new database Kevin had made with Cas on their arsenal of occult objects. Dean and Sam had also had a productive day. As Dean rustled up some burgers, he thought of the dead angel they had investigated. Like Castiel had anticipated, they were going suicidal. A freshly fallen angel had walked into a crowded part of the city, screaming, weeping, and shouting that God had forsaken him before impaling himself with his sword. Sam and Dean had seen the angel blade in the evidence room of the local police station themselves. With some unauthorized access to the station, the brothers had managed to steal the sword. There was no telling how many other angels were exhibiting self-destructive tendencies.

By the time the burgers were served, everyone had calmed. Dean made a special veggie burger just for Kevin. There was lettuce and tomato involved and everything. Dean was beginning to understand that he was no good at talking to Kevin. He didn't even know how to feed him, but he wouldn't stop trying to get it right. He did care about their young friend, even when Kevin wasn't discovering much useful information.

When Cas ate Dean's burger, the room lit up with light and soft sounds of ecstasy. Kevin and Sam couldn't stop snickering at Cas' reactions. Eating his veggie burger, Kevin did an imitation of Cas, giving a quiet moan, "This is so good. Dean, this is really, really good."

"Cut it out." Dean had turned pink, but a gradual smile crept onto his lips. He would have been laughing if he weren't the object of humor.

Smelling the meat nearby, Kevin took a small bite out of Sam's burger. With honesty, Kevin remarked, "Seriously. You're surprisingly good at this."

"Well, thanks, Kevin."

"How is it even possible?" Cas stared at his juicy burger. "I didn't think these could get better."

Dean nearly melted off his chair to hide under the table. He squirmed shyly, unsure of what to do with his hands and fumbling over modest words. Kevin and Sam couldn't decide whether Cas or Dean was the more hilarious of the two.

When night fell, Dean wandered to his room, unaware of the tail he had behind him. Only when he opened his door was he startled by the presence of Cas next to him. "Geez!" Dean inhaled. "How do you do that? You're human!"

"Do what?" Cas asked, holding The Kama Sutra and his dirty drawings under his arm.

"Um…" Dean closed the room to his door, discerning Castiel's intentions. "Cas, you can't stay here tonight."

Castiel put on a quizzical expression. Why? Dean heard the question without needing to have it uttered.

"You're a grown-ass man. I'm a grown-ass man. Grown-ass men don't have slumber parties every night. You've got to have your own room. I made one up for you earlier, just across the hall." Dean pointed Castiel to the door within his line of sight. He had been sure to select a room nearby. Promptly, he dragged Castiel over to it and turned on the light. It was a lovely room with warm lighting and the same double warding his bedroom had.

"I don't understand. You and Sam always shared motel rooms," Cas argued.

"That's different. Sammy and I are brothers."

"But you said we're brothers."

Dean lifted his hands in exasperation. "We are, but look. Sammy has his own room now and Sammy and I haven't slept in the same bed in years."

"Then why did we?" Cas clutched his book over his chest, thinking Dean was making something simple out to be something confusing. The oldest Winchester didn't have a good response to that inquiry.

"We just can't anymore," Dean swallowed, eyes lowering to the book in Cas' hands. "You need privacy. Privacy is one of those human things you'll need to get used to. If you ever want to test out those things Kevin taught you, you'll have to be alone or with – "

Someone else. Dean couldn't bring himself to say it, but thankfully, Castiel spoke as he paused.

"Oh, I don't intend to use this knowledge. I'm keeping it as a memento, nothing more."

Grimly, Dean replied, "You're going to want to use that knowledge."

"Everyone keeps saying that." Castiel became distraught as he thought back to the last thing he remembered having heard in Heaven. "Even Metatron. I told you how my grace had been removed, but I didn't tell you what he said to me after. He said I should find a wife and have children so that when I died I could tell him the story of my mortal life. He wants to collect my life like he collects books."

Dean lit up with fury. The more he learned about what Metatron had done and said, the more he wanted to personally roast him alive over a fire and barbeque his wings. It hadn't been enough for him to slice open Cas' beautiful throat. He'd had to mock him as well. Castiel's dejected face provoked an outburst from Dean.

"You do the opposite of what that asshat says!" Dean snarled without thinking. Then, Dean put his hands on his hips and tried to calm himself down. It wasn't anymore his place to tell Cas what he should do than it was Metatron's. "Unless that's what you want… a wife and kids."

"No. I have never wanted a wife and children. At any rate, I don't deserve to have offspring, and I can't imagine anyone desiring me for what I really am."

"With all due respect, Cas, that is bullshit." Dean fidgeted, finding it nearly impossible to counter Cas' words without revealing too much about himself. The idea that Cas thought he was beyond being loved or that his children would be wicked because Cas thought of himself so lowly stirred all of Dean's emotions. "Your babies would be precious little shits, just like you… probably doing stuff wrong all the time, but lovable all the same. Lots of people desire you for who you are, and they damn well should! You are awesome."

"What people?" Castiel asked, disbelieving.

"People, Cas!" Dean sputtered. Anxiously, he said the first name he could think of that wasn't him and quickly felt dirty for having uttered it. "Meg! People like Meg, I guess. She seemed to have a thing for you. At least she did. She would if she were still alive."

"Meg is dead?" Castiel cried in horror.

Oh… shit.

Dean spent the next several minutes in Castiel's room describing the way Meg had given her life to help them escape. Dean may have hated Meg and would never like her, but he gave her props where it was due. She had genuinely cared for Cas and had come through for all of them more than once. Castiel hadn't thought it was possible to detest Crowley more, but he did.

"She did a lot of bad – a lot of evil, but at least in the end she went out tryin' to stick it to Crowley." Unknown to Dean, her last request had been that they save Castiel. He slung an arm around Cas. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

In Dean's own words, the only person that would ever desire him was both a demon and dead. That sounded about right to Cas. Cas didn't cry. He only hoped she was in a place without suffering. Dean pulled Castiel into his body more tightly, almost crushing him. "I'm sorry."

…if I found someone to care about, I wouldn't let that person go.

Castiel had practically nothing and the Winchester at his side was indisputably the most important thing he could ever have. The fallen angel gripped Dean close, unwilling to let him go. If Dean ever left him like Meg left him, he couldn't bear it. Knowing he wouldn't be able to bring Dean back anymore, he cried a single tear. Before Dean could see his tear, Castiel wiped his cheek into his shirt.

Aw, fuck, Winchester. What did you do? Dean glanced up at the ceiling and down to the bed where Cas had abandoned Kevin's teachings. He let his hands rub up and down Cas' back. At last, he whispered, "Come stay with me."

"But… What about those things you said?"

"It's okay. All that stuff I said is true, but uh," Dean sighed, inventing an excuse as quickly as possible. "I forgot about the Pillow Rule."

"What is that?"

"It's a human thing. You pick a pillow and you use that same pillow for a whole week," Dean explained. "You used my pillow so you gotta stay in my bed because that pillow belongs to my bed. Pillows and beds go together, naturally."

Dean leaned back to check to see if Castiel was buying his story. Confusion was plain on his features, "Can't I just use this one – "

"That's wasteful, Cas! Pillows don't grow on trees. There's a lot of empty space in my bed anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Just come to bed with me. If you still want to, that is…"

Soon, Castiel was back in the same spot on Dean's bed, resting his head on Dean's only pillow. Unlike the night before, Dean pulled back the covers to get ready to join Cas underneath them. He kicked off his jeans and tossed away his second shirt for more comfort. Watching Dean, Cas did the same because he thought that was the appropriate human custom. Behind the closed door, as soon as Dean turned off the light and was lying down, Castiel latched onto his body.

"H-Hey!"

Feeling Castiel's bare leg move against his, Dean sucked in a heady breath. He debated kicking Cas out, but he didn't. Dean wasn't sure what this meant. He had the intense desire to kiss Cas senseless, but was afraid he would be taking advantage of his cherished friend.

"Thank you, Dean."

"Yeah, no problem."

Cas' arm slid down his chest, giving him shivers. He was terrified he would repeat the kinds of sounds Cas had made at dinner. Then, Cas did something supremely odd that jarred Dean away from his sexual fantasies.

"Did you just sniff me?" Dean asked, "You just took a whiff of me!"

"Yes."

"What the hell, Cas?!"

"Is that inappropriate?" Cas didn't wait for a response. "It's my senses, Dean. They are all awry. You used to smell differently. Stronger, in a good way. Now that scent is dulled. No matter how I try, I can't smell it."

"Well, good! It's my smell! You shouldn't be smellin' it!"

"My sense of smell has suffered. So has my vision," Castiel lamented. "My hearing as well. I used to be able to hear so well."

"Oh." Dean swallowed. "Superman lost his superpowers. Nothin' to worry about. You're a healthy human being."

"Not all of them. My abilities to taste and feel have been heightened."

"Really," Dean stated. He had noticed Castiel's obsession with food and drink. Cas rubbed into him, much like a cat, and a shuddering breath escaped Dean's lips. Castiel was entirely too fascinated by Dean's body as his hand slowly caressed over his chest to feel the beat of his heart. "Yup, that is my chest. What're you doing?"

Castiel knew exactly what he wanted, but didn't think he should say it. If he had to practice Kevin's lessons with anyone, he wanted to do them with Dean. "Does it bother you?"

"I am all kinds of bothered right now," Dean answered, aroused. In the dark, Castiel propped himself up to peer down at Dean. When he did, Dean let his hand trail down his back slowly in a soothing motion that made Cas' lips part with longing. Life is short, Cas thought. Cas was terrified, but bold as he cradled the sides of Dean's face and bent down to kiss his full, waiting lips.