PART SIX:
Res quae Numquam Fuit
NOTES: Many thanks to Stonedtoad for the beta.
The title is in Latin and means 'a thing that never existed'. Ok, I know this will be very unusual, but I hope you like it. French words are in italics. Also, I have to admit that the last words, also italicised, are a paraphrase of the final verse from Milton's XXIII Sonnet. Well, maybe not a real paraphrase, I just changed the subject, from 'I' to 'he'… Anyway, enjoy!
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
He was alone in a white-painted room. Though… he couldn't be sure where he actually was… Maybe a huge hall or some kind of chamber… But why was it so white? And why couldn't he see the walls or the ceiling? Strange, very strange.
The only sound he could hear was the empty echo of his own steps. And he was alone. More than physically, he felt alone. Loneliness was something psychological this time. He was alone in his soul. His heart was empty, deserted. There was only a great pain, heavily weighing on him.
He took a couple of steps more, listening to their sound. He was instinctively looking for something… for someone… but he couldn't remember what or whom. He was sure he'd find what he was seeking… But what was he looking for…?
"My Dan'iel…."
The voice thrilled him. It was her voice. The voice he thought he'd never be able to hear again. And then he suddenly remembered: she was the one whom he was seeking. He'd felt so alone because she hadn't been with him. Turning around, he wasn't surprised to see her there.
"Sha're!"
"Yes, husband," she said softly, smiling to him.
"You're here…" he murmured uncertainly, taking her face in his hands and looking into her eyes with all the love he felt. And she was so real; he could touch her skin, and caress her cheeks… "You're truly here, are you?"
"I am, my Dan'iel," she whispered warmly, then their mouths searched for one another, their lips joining in a passionate kiss.
ooo
When Daniel opened his eyes and looked around, he saw sand. Dunes, huge, golden sand dunes; a desert. Again, he had no idea where they actually were, but the important thing was they were together. She was with him, standing in his arms as she used to, while he was holding her close to him, fearing that they would be estranged once again. Maybe she held the key to all the strange events that were happening…
"Sha're, where are we?"
"On Abydos, my love," she answered calmly, as if it was an obvious fact.
"What? Abydos? W-w-wait a minute. We can't be on Abydos. That's not possible. We…"
"It's not what you think," she said sadly, freeing herself from his embrace and looking away.
"What do you mean?" He followed her and sat down in the sand beside her. From where they were sitting, on top of a dune, a dream-like panorama was offered to their eyes. The red sunset light seemed to turn the desert into pure gold.
"Hear me, Dan'iel," she told him, looking straight at him. "When… Amaunet tried to kill you… I knew I had to stop her from harming you. I couldn't stand feeling my own hand producing pain to you. I simply couldn't. So I… made an effort… and took control over the ribbon device."
Daniel, who was attentively listening to what his wife had to say, put a hand over her shoulders and pulled her closer. She settled in his arms and continued to speak.
"It was then when I realized our minds were somehow… connected. I had to send you a message, and there it was, the way to do it."
While she was talking, Daniel could not believe what was happening to him. An hour ago he had been so disoriented and he had been sure that he wouldn't meet her again… And yet here they were together, in the middle of the Abydonian desert. He was holding her, breathing her perfume, feeling the warmth of her body… and listening to the explanation he needed so much.
"I had three things to do: convince you to forgive Teal'c, make you promise you would find the boy… and to say goodbye."
Daniel looked at her and started to understand. She managed to do the first two things through the vision she had given him when he was trapped in the clutches of Amaunet's ribbon device. As for the third one…
"I didn't have the time to complete all these, so in the last fractions of second, I kind of… downloaded something into your brain." She didn't stop at his puzzled look, yet couldn't help but smile at her husband's expression. "A dream; this dream. I programmed it to unfold when you would be prepared to receive it. You are prepared now, my Dan'iel," she added, rising to her feet and turning as to face him. He, too, rose and looked at her.
"Consider it a gift. A farewell gift." Her hazel eyes were shining with tears. "We have tonight. A single night to live all we couldn't really live. What time reality did not allow us to enjoy, we will spend tonight. I took some of your fantasies concerning us, combined them with my own dreams and made them possible using Goa'uld technology. I think your friend Samantha would call it a 'virtual reality'. Personally, I do not have the needed knowledge to understand it completely. But you can talk to Major Carter and Teal'c, and together I am sure you will find some of the answers."
"So… it's not real after all."
"Some philosophers considered reality to be subjective."
"Where did you know that from?" This time, Daniel was shocked to hear his wife speaking like that.
"When our minds were connected, I had access to all your knowledge. I am sorry I had to dig up your memories, but I had to do it in order to create this."
"My love, I'd give up all my memories in turn for having you here…."
"I am here. Tonight, you can have me once more. You lived weeks in a matter of seconds. Now, together, we will live in a night the eternity that our love deserved."
Daniel looked at his wife with concern. She was right in front of him, yet she wasn't. All he was living was actually a dream…
"So, I'm really home, sleeping, and you're…."
"… Dead. Yes."
"But you're here."
"Yes. My Dan'iel, we only have this night. Let's not spend it like this. We have an eternity to live, remember?"
"But…."
"Shhhh," she whispered, her index finger sealing his lips with a caress. Daniel kissed the finger and looked curiously at her. "Not now, husband. You'll have the rest of your life to search for answers. But not tonight. Tonight is our night."
ooo
When she said that, Daniel could actually see the desert background morphing into… a forest.
"Ok. One more question. Where are we now? Sha're? Where'd you go?" She had just disappeared behind the trees. "Fine, I got it," he said with a falsely upset tone. "You wanna play hide and seek, fine. But I'm gonna find you. Yep."
Daniel smiled. His sweet Sha're surely had her moments of childishness… But, strangly enough, he, too, felt like a teenager. He could feel the enthusiasm, the confidence and the ambition he felt back then. The world was his again, he felt young, and strong, and happy. Then he remembered he had spent almost his entire adolescence like, to use one of Jack's favourite words, a geek. Libraries, books, school, artefacts, encyclopaedias, Egypt, languages, crazy theories… He had been a real bookworm and he admitted it. Now Sha're was giving him another chance…
"Ok. Where are you? I'll catch you, you know… Sha're!"
He took a moment to admire the environment, which was extraordinary beautiful as well. They were in the woods, surrounded by century-old oak trees, ferns, and other forest vegetation. The murmur of a nearby spring was filling the air with its musicality, seeming to tell a story. A love story. Their love story. And the same story was softly narrated by the moving emerald grass, by the wind that was slowly blowing through the branches, by the magical sounds of nature in all its forms. They all were telling the story. And now, he was living it.
He continued his search and finally he caught a glimpse of her. He ran towards there, but she had changed her location again.
"I saw you, Sha're. I know you're here, somewhere…"
In that moment, he heard her giggling behind the same tree he was leaning against. With a single move, he turned, caught her in his arms, and laid her down in the soft bed of ferns and moss.
"You found me. Now what?" Sha're asked innocently, while her husband, who had lain on top her, was laughing happily.
"Now, my lovely Sha're," he told her watching the beauty of her smile, "we kiss. And then we'll see."
He leant closer, but she interrupted him.
"Wait. Listen."
"What?"
"Birds. Singing. Singing for us, my love. Tonight, the world is ours…"
Daniel was pleased to notice she felt the same. Smiling, he kissed her gently.
ooo
When finally the French kiss ended, he wasn't surprised to find himself in a different place. And speaking of France…
"Are we in… Paris?" he asked unbelieving his eyes. Well, the Eiffel Tour was there, right in front of him…
Sha're smiled sweetly and, pointing the monumental construction with her eyes, she invited:
"Let's go! Tonight, we can do anything."
In no time, they were 300 meters above, sitting at a table in a very elegant restaurant. They were both wearing evening clothes, and she looked extremely sexy in a black, tight fitting dress and high heels. With difficulty taking his eyes off her, Daniel made a mental note to find out whether such a café really existed within the Eiffel Tour.
They were just looking into each other's eyes silently, while a soft chanson d'amour was played only for them…
"Umm…champagne…?" he finally offered, and when she agreed with a small nod, he filled the crystal glasses from the table.
"À toi," he proposed a toast.
"À nous," she corrected.
Each of them took a sip. Then Daniel had an idea. He held out his hand for her and they stood up and walked to the enormous window. The whole Paris could be seen from there. And it's useless to say how romantic it was…
"So, I guess I have to say it in French."
"Say what?"
"Je t'aime…"
Sha're put her head on his shoulder. Holding hands, they admired the many lights shining in the night. The City of Lights was at their feet. And so was the world.
ooo
Curious what it would be now, Daniel examined the new landscape. This time, it was winter, and they were in some kind of park. Everywhere around, snow had covered the earth with its pureness. Everything was white. Big, bright, silvery flakes were slowly falling from an incredibly white sky. The leafless ornamental trees seemed to have blossomed again, in icy flowers of snow. And all this magical view was for them only…
"My Dan'iel, it is beautiful. You were right. Winter really is wonderful. So… is this the 'snow' you were telling me about?"
He smiled at her question.
"Yep. That's snow. Fresh fluffy snow. Perfect for-- "
Not letting him finish his sentence, Sha're tenderly took off his glasses and put them in the pocket of his jacket.
"… A snow fight. Why did you do that for?"
She didn't answer, and instead bent to take a handful of snow.
"Because I wanted to do this!" she finally said, throwing snow directly into his face.
"You're going to pay for this," he laughed happily. "Revenge!" he shouted, while she was running away as fast as she could.
Arming himself with a huge snowball, he followed her, in search for his 'terrible vengeance'.
Sha're was trying to get away from his path. Daniel was faster then her, and had the advantage of having walked through snow before. Her feet were held back, and her fleeing was being slowed down. Daniel had already begun to bomb her with cold missiles of soft snow. The snowballs were gently hitting her one after the other.
She stopped. And Daniel was not surprised to feel her response…
The real snow fight started. Each of them was throwing snowballs at the other, and they were both joyfully laughing. And, thank God, there wasn't anyone around to see them…
Daniel wasn't aiming her head, but Sha're, who didn't know this general agreement between people who played with snow, fixed her target on his face. When finally one of her hits was exact, she had to flee once more.
After wiping his face from snow, he ran towards her again, and this time he managed to catch her. Deliberately forgetting he was a gentleman, he then stuffed a lot of soft snow over her face. But she didn't give up. Struggling in his arms, she succeeded in freeing herself, but before she could fling another snowball at her husband, he had pushed them both into the thick snow. Together, they playfully rolled over, destroying the perfection of the untouched snow.
When their game eventually stopped, Daniel, lying exhausted looked at the woman under him. She seemed nicer then ever, her skin being reddened by cold, and her curly hair wet and full of snow. She was breathing hard because of the effort she, too, had made, and her moth was producing vapours. He softly kissed her almost frozen lips.
"I love you, Sha're."
"I love you too, my Dan'iel," she answered and pulled him closer, kissing him back.
ooo
He was expecting too see another change in the milieu, but this time, it wasn't a major one. They were both in a wooden cottage, and, over the window, one could see the same park in which they played before. Now it was night, but the snowflakes were still slowly falling.
He stepped to where his wife was sitting in front of the fireplace. He set down on the soft carpet, by her side, giving her one of the small cups he was holding.
"Here. Take this. I think it's going to help. I really don't want you catching a cold…" Sha're examined the hot flavoured drink.
"What is this, husband?" she asked looking into her cup.
"Mulled wine with cinnamon. Try it," Daniel advised her, taking a sip.
"It does taste wonderful," she decided, after tasting the liquid.
He looked at her again and tried to see the sweet smile on her lips. It was rather dark, as the light from the fire and from the perfumed candles that were filling the room was not enough. But this way the atmosphere was more romantic and mysterious.
She laid down her empty cup and reached for him. They embraced lovingly, letting their passion rule.
From the fireplace, golden flames were throwing shadows over them, while outside huge snowflakes continued to fall.
ooo
Daniel examined the new landscape. It was an immense hall, full of neoclassical decorations. The marble floor, elegant in its pale colours that formed a simple pattern, and the lack of furniture indicated the room could be some kind of dance hall. The light from the enormous candelabrum was making the golden bas-reliefs, which were adorning the ceiling and the upper part of the white painted walls, glittering with a magnificent brilliance. Everything was extremely sumptuous and, he, himself, fitted the atmosphere. Amazingly, he was wearing a black tuxedo…
Slowly, the absolute silence was replaced by the well-known accords of Strauss' Blue Danube. The sweet music charmed him, so he tried to take some steps, and found, even more amazingly, he could dance perfectly …
Glad he had discovered a new skill, he approached the stairs that were coming down from another level, and waited for Sha're to appear. In a few seconds, he could see her standing at the stair-head, smiling at him and starting to descend slowly. Daniel contemplated both her natural beauty and the wonderful ball dress she wore, with a bright heart shaped beige top and a very flowing skirt. Her dark brown locks were arranged in a sophisticated hairdo, and the subtle makeup was just emphasizing her pleasant features.
Captivated, he offered her his hand and could only whisper:
"May I have the honour of this dance?"
"You may, my love," she answered, accepting his invitation. Her husband looked truly handsome as well…
Putting her gloved hand in his, she smiled softly and they started to waltz. The magical music was captivating them both. Irreproachably synchronized, their moves seemed to be more than a simple dance. Their body language talking about the tremendous love they were feeling and about the happiness that was filling their souls. Hearts trembling, they continued to fly on the wings of rhythm, abandoning themselves completely to the music and to each other.
ooo
Like usual, the background had changed once more. Now they were at some kind of farm and, sitting in the fresh smelling hay and holding each other, they could watch a splendid show: right in front of their eyes, a dozen wild horses were running together in an enclosure. Under their hoofs, the earth was bustling and shaking, raising clouds of dust. Restless, strong, and balky, the beautiful animals were snorting and neighing, prancing from time to time and making their long manes wave in the wind.
"Again, it is beautiful, my Dan'iel."
"Yes, it is, but not as beautiful as you are, my sweet Sha're," he said softly, kissing the back of her neck. She turned to face him and smiled at his compliment.
"Come," the woman said confident, "we have a ride to do."
"We have…?" he repeated uncertainly, but before he could say more, they were both on the saddles of two gorgeous black horses, a lot more obedient than the ones they had seen the last time.
They spurred the horses and galloped towards happiness. They were free, young, restless, and wild like the animals they were riding.
"I love you, Sha're, I love you so much…" Daniel told her loudly, hoping that the entire world would hear him. He wanted to scream that is was all so wonderful, that he was with the woman he adored, and that his heart was ready to explode with joy. But he didn't need to do it. The universe was theirs and their love was the only thing that still mattered.
ooo
Again, Daniel found himself in a different place. This time it was a small tent, the flimsy violet cloths letting a pale light pass through them. He was sitting on some silk bolsters and, to his surprise, he was wearing some… odd… blue… Arabian… costume…
"Now, that's strange," he murmured, puzzled by the unexpected situation, his amazement only enhanced when Sha're appeared from behind a drapery. She, too, was dressed accordingly to the exotic location, like a woman from a Turkish or Arabian harem, the bright red oriental attire giving more sensuality to her look.
She stopped right in front of him and, slowly, she let fall the veil that was covering her face. Her body began to move voluptuously, dancing in the rhythm of a melody only the two of them could hear. Out of nowhere, it started to rain rose petals over them. Daniel could not believe his eyes, but he soon had to believe his senses, when she embraced him and captured his mouth in hot kisses…
When their lips came apart, she sat down, arranging his head on her knees.
"Tell me a story, Sheherazade," he pleaded softly, the ambient making him compare his wife with the famous storyteller.
"I cannot, my sultan," she answered looking in his eyes, "for tonight there is a single story, and we are living it now."
ooo
Once more, another set was offered to their view, an extremely amazing one as well. They were in a cave. The natural splendour with its yellowish and orange limestone relief could match all beauties they had ever seen. Slender stalactites were descending from the high ceiling, while sharp stalagmites were trying to rise from the ground. The geological wonder was fascinating them by its endless variety of shapes and colours. And they were together, admiring the fantastic décor and enjoying each other's presence.
"Wow! This is… this is… unbelievable…!"
Sha're couldn't find any other words to describe the impressive scenery, so she decided to remain quiet, lightly putting her arms around his neck. Daniel hugged her back, and gently whispered in her ear:
"Thank you. Thank you for all these wonderful places, for all we're living… Thank you for being here."
His words seemed to have a terrible effect on her. She violently freed herself from his embrace and looked away from him.
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…"
"What are you talking about?"
Since no answer came, he took her hand in his and continued. "Sha're, love, what's happening? What's wrong?"
"Everything is wrong," she sad sadly, and their eyes met again. "This is coming to an end. Our little eternity is about to end. It is only a dream. And you will soon wake up…"
"What?"
"I'm sorry…."
With her words blew a cold wind, bringing golden fallen leaves. Right in front of Daniel's eyes, the background changed again, abruptly turning into a seascape.
ooo
She sighed heavily. Hand in hand, they were walking across the shore, the cold salty water caressing their bare feet, ready to wet the rolled up pants. An overwhelming smell of salt and algae was filling the air. They were completely alone on the deserted beach, and it was rather chilly.
Looking at the far-off horizon, Sha're could only whisper quietly, her voice starting to break:
"The… the sun is going to rise…"
"And…."
"And it will all be over, Dan'iel!" she almost shouted, sitting down in the sand with her feet still in the water.
A lonely seagull crossed the dark sky, and its desperate cry thrilled them as if it was prophesying a near calamity.
"Maybe," the man said, trying hardly to ignore the bird. "But we still have some time until sunrise. Let's spend it together."
She moved her view towards her husband, who was now sitting beside her, tensely watching the movement of waves.
"All right. We will live every second to the full. So…" she switched to another subject, "this is the 'sea'… I have never seen so much water before. The sand reminds me of home, but the water…"
"Yeah." He, too, sighed. "Come, Sha're," Daniel said in a happier tone, standing. "We'll play."
"Play?" a small smile started to blossom on her lips, as she accepted the hand he was holding out to help her rise.
"Yes, my beautiful wife, we'll play. We'll build a sandcastle."
His idea was reworded with a long, deep kiss. Although there was no one there to see them, Daniel flushed a little when they finally parted. Sha're simply smiled, and he ran a hand through his hair before speaking again.
"Ok. Here's what we'll do. Since we have no special tools, we'll have to use our hands. Umm…" he murmured slowly while taking some steps in search for a suitable place, "we need… That's it!" he suddenly yelled enthusiastically, finding what he was looking for a place where the sand was extremely wet, but where the waves were further away. He looked back at his wife and her kind eyes made him forget the sad truth. Diving again in the pleasant illusion of having all the time in the world, he decided to enjoy the rest of their little fleeting eternity.
Getting his hand into the sticky surface, Daniel took a handful of wet sand and slowly let it slip through his fingers. Sha're approached him, amazed.
"That is… incredible!"
"Why? It's just sand," he laughed, making her a sign to come closer. "It's easy. All you have to do is let the sand trickle down, like this. Want to try?"
Under Daniel's hands, the castle had begun to take shape. The small drops of wet sand were consolidating and they seemed to form the beginning of a miniature building.
Sha're took some sand in her hand and gently let it fall down, creating new shapes.
"Like this?"
"Yes, that's perfect. Now, let's make a tower."
She looked at him, not understanding. "How?"
"By focusing the building material in a certain part. Hope it works…"
They both started to sprinkle wet sand, exchanging glances, smiling, and occasionally sharing brief kisses. Their castle had reached a foot high, when Sha're stopped to admire their work.
"My Dan'iel, it looks great!"
He arranged the last drop of sand, than stood up to looked at their masterpiece.
"You're right. It's really nice."
She laughed happily and embraced him; careful not to stain the white shirt he was wearing with wet sand.
"If you want a real hug, I'll say we should wash our hands…."
Daniel followed her into the ocean in order to clean. When all the sand was gone, he picked up a piece of shell and drew a huge heart on the beach.
"I love you," he said, as she was jumping at him.
"And I love you too."
He lifted her up in his arms and quickly spun around. When they stopped, dizziness made them fall together in the soft sand.
"Oh, Sha're… it's so beautiful…"
"Yes, my Dan'iel, it is. I love you."
She caressed his face, but suddenly a dark shadow crossed her eyes. She got up as fast as she could, not allowing him to see the moisture that was collecting in her big brown eyes. She was walking towards the sea, when she felt his hand on her shoulder.
He turned her around and pulled her in his arms. Her face was showing a hopeless expression, and she seemed so vulnerable, that it scared him. He only wanted to hold her and assure her everything would be all right. But would it?
"It is almost sunrise, Dan'iel."
"I know."
She raised tearful eyes to him. Her husband leaned down and caught her mouth with his lips. A passionate kiss, a kind of kiss they never shared before, started. No matter how much passion was in them, all their kisses had been sweet and gentle. This one was desperate. Both of them knew they would be torn apart very soon, and both of them tried to prevent it. This was their only way to do it: endeavouring to melt into each other, to squeeze each other and become one. Daniel was keeping her very close to him, heavily pressing his body onto hers in an effort to feel her with every cell of his being, through the thin clothes they were wearing. He was going to loose her again. And he could do nothing to stop it…
A violent sound caught their attention, making their kiss end. A huge wave had hit the shore, instantly breaking their sandcastle into pieces. They watched helpless as their work was destroyed. Sha're pushed herself even closer in his arms, while he whispered in a sorrowful voice:
"I don't want to loose you, my love…."
On the red horizon, a bright sun appeared. The last thing Daniel could see before the dreamscape changed again was the heart he had drawn in the sand.
ooo
Again, Daniel found himself in the white room in which all this started. This time, he wasn't alone; his wife was with him, and they were on some kind of sofa. Sha're was sitting on his knees, her head resting on his chest, as his arms were holding her tight, protectively wrapped around her. This time he was the one to feel frail and powerless. It was over. He would soon wake up in his bed, only to find himself alone and realize all the happiness he lived was just a pleasant dream…
"So this is it," he finally said after a long silence.
"Yes, my love," she whispered, listening to his heartbeat. "Please," she went on in a more determinate voice, "do not forget what you had learned in these two visions."
"To forgive Teal'c for… killing you," Daniel said, the last words hurting unimaginably.
"Yes. He is a good man and a strong warrior. I am glad that you can understand it," she told him looking again into his clear blue eyes. "In time, your hate will disappear completely. You are a kind man, husband. You can forgive."
"I'll try."
"I trust you will succeed." She stopped for a second before saying: "And there is the promise you made to me."
"To find the boy and keep him safe." He nodded, his eyes fixed into hers.
"You are the only one able to do it." Voice breaking, she looked away. "Please, do not hate the child for… what happened between Apophis and me…."
"Love, we've been through this before, remember? When the baby was born." He, too, remembered. It wasn't her fault for having a child with another man. He could understand that. "You know there's nothing to forgive," he continued, "You're not responsible for what Amaunet did with your body."
"I am not, yet I am asking you to seek a child that is not yours. I imagine how it feels."
"Sha're, look at me." When she finally did, he used his most convincing tone to assure her he was telling the truth. "I'll do whatever is needed to find your child. And when I find him, I'll make sure he's safe. I won't let anybody harm him. God, I saw him being born, I was the first one to hold him. The blood of his birth was on my hands. Literally." He stopped, letting her acknowledge his words. "Sha're, I'll love this child as my own. He might not be mine physically, but I promise I'll love him like a father."
"Thank you," was the only thing she could say after listening attentively to what he had to say. She trusted him and believed in him, Daniel could feel it. She closed her eyes, as he lightly kissed her forehead.
"You know, I had the opportunity of speaking to his biological father. The poor man was a host for thousands of years. I don't think he ever remembered having a son. So I can't possibly hate the child for who he is."
Although kind, his words had made her look down again. He gently placed two fingers under her chin and slowly lifted her head.
"I'll find him, love. I really will," he said softly and watched her smile before their lips joined in another sweet kiss.
"And the third thing: I love you, Dan'iel. I love you with all my heart. I wish I could have made you happy, and be a good wife, and be there for you. But I could not. I am sorry."
"Oh, Sha're… my sweet Sha're…" he whispered, his eyes wet with tears. "You did make me happy; the year we spent together was the best in my life. You were a perfect wife, and you were always there. Until…" His voice was cut off, as his tears began to fall down. Though she was crying herself, Sha're kissed his wet cheeks, tasting the salt. He remembered another night when she had kissed away his tears, and the regret of loosing her was greater then ever. "It… it was my fault you were taken. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save you. It's all my fault."
"No, my Dan'iel, it is not you who is guilty," she told him, wiping away the bright tears from his sad eyes. "And maybe… it is better this way…."
"What do you mean?"
"My love," she said, a sorrowful half smile on her lips, "this way you'll have pleasant memories about us. I will be a pleasant memory. I will never get old or unattractive--"
"W-w-w-wait a minute. You can't be unattractive, no matter what!"
"You cannot know how would I have looked like in many years," she really smiled as she was teasing him.
"No, no, no. That's impossible. You are beautiful, the most beautiful woman I know."
"But time could have-- "
"Sha're, I'd love you anyway," he interrupted her again, not letting her finish her theory. Daniel didn't believe his lovely wife could turn ugly. It was a crazy idea! Plus, her shocking beauty had been only one of the many things that made him fall in love with her…
"Fine. Than think of how our relationship could have gotten worse. There could have been quarrels, or even--"
He cut her off by a short kiss.
"I understand what you want to say. But do you really believe there could be other things between us, except for love, caring, understanding, tenderness?"
"Honestly, no." The huge affection in the puppy eyes he had for the time being didn't allow any other answer. After another smile, she had another thing to remind him of. "And then there's Skaara. Please, Dan'iel, you have to rescue him. He is still out there somewhere. Please find him and save my little brother."
"Of course. I never gave up looking for him, and never will. And Jack's really trying to find him too."
"I hope you will manage in saving him. There has to be a way. It was not for me, but I hope it will be for him."
"Oh, Sha're… I'm so sorry, so sorry… I failed you. I couldn't save you, love. Forgive me."
"Again, there is nothing to forgive. You did not fail me, my Dan'iel. I am proud of you. Never think that it would have been better if you never opened the Chappa'ai. If you hadn't done it, my people would have never been free… and I would have never met you. Our year together was the most incredible thing that could happen to me, my Dan'iel. Even after all that's happened, I don't regret anything. The times we had together compensate everything. Think that way. I know you will suffer from loosing me, but you have to go on with your life. You need to."
"To find your baby and Skaara, yes, I know."
"Not only for these, husband."
"And to fight the Goa'uld and have revenge."
"Do not take it as a private revenge, love. You have to destroy these demons for saving the millions of innocents who are hurt by them. For setting free the millions of slaves, who suffer the oppression of these false gods." She settled better in his arms, while she carried on her pleading. "Moreover, you have to continue to travel through the Chappa'ai because it is your passion. I know you love to make discoveries, to contact new civilizations, to meet new people, to solve new mythological mysteries, to learn new languages… to be the same enthusiastic scholar that charmed me with his intelligence and knowledge. The only way of failing me would be to let die within you the man that made me fall in love with him. That man is strong; he had faced and defeated a god. And that man could pass through this. Travel among the stars, my love! It is your destiny. Fulfil it."
He smiled. "But it's so hard without you…."
"Dan'iel, you have your friends. They love you and would do anything for you. They care as much as I did. You are important to them and to your world. They need you. And you need them."
He nodded, thinking of how unfair he was when he behaved the way he did, not letting them help him.
"Talk with them, Dan'iel. Your team will be there for you. They are good people. I know it from your memories, the ones I had to dig up to create this dream. O'Neill, Samantha and Teal'c will understand you. They can give you the comfort you need."
"The only comfort I need is here, in your arms," he said warmly, pulling her close.
"But now you belong with them. Your friends and your work will eventually bring you through, I am sure. You will be all right without me."
"Can't you at least make this dream last?"
"No, my husband, I cannot and I will not. I only produced a vision using the hand-device; I have no way of controlling reality. And even if I could, I would not do it. Your life must go on. Hold on to the love you still feel for me, but go on with your life, together with your friends."
Daniel pulled her even closer in his arms and buried his face in her thick black hair, smelling her perfume. He would miss her so much… he would miss talking to her like that…
"I love you, Sha're, and I'll always love you, no matter what. And it's so unfair…"
"No, my Dan'iel. You are wrong," she told her, moving to face him. "Think of how happy we were together. In our short life as a couple, we lived more happiness than some people live in a life. Think of the thousands of men and women who never find out what true love is. Who never taste the bliss of being with a person that really loves them her from the bottom of the heart, as we loved each other. There are so many souls that long for just a moment in the arms of the one they want, but their love remains hopeless and unshared… But we… we had each other and we were the happiest people in the universe. It was only for a short time, I do know that, but be were given the chance of living what others never live. Our year of marriage provided so many pleasant memories… You will be able to find comfort in those too."
Her husband looked at her and gently stroke her hair. She was right. They had been the happiest people in the world. But he knew that when he would wake up, the same world that had made him so happy three years before would make him feel as if he was the most miserable man in the universe. The world didn't seem right without her. She had made him happy, and now, when she was going to leave forever, his tragedy was becoming increasingly obvious.
"My husband, I do not want to leave you either, but I have no other choice. Please, remember all I have told you, and talk to your friends. They will understand. Tell them about the pleasant moments we had together. It will help you pass through this. And do not forget I love you…"
"So it's goodbye now…" he sighed.
"No, it is not. Not a definitive goodbye. Not adieu."
"As in…?" Again, he didn't know what she wanted to say.
"We will meet again, husband."
"You mean… in an afterlife…?" he asked her reluctantly, while she looked at him confidently.
"Yes."
Daniel smiled. Ancient Egyptians, therefore also Abydonians, believed in immortality. Most of the mythologies and religions he studied believed. But him? Seldom had he asked himself what did he truly believe, and usually he had found no answer. But the confident light in her eyes gave him faith. He knew it. He felt it. He was sure this was not the end. He would meet her again. Death was not the end. It was not completely over. There was another hope. Her eyes told him that. And he believed in her.
"No, this is not the end. A love like ours cannot be defeated." She leaned over him, looking for his lips. Slowly and very delicately, she simply touched them with hers, as tears were once more formed in her eyes.
"I love you, my Dan'iel," she whispered, releasing the embrace. Daniel didn't want to let her go yet she slipped away from his arms. Standing, she held his hand and looked at his tearful eyes as he, too, stood up. It was just the two of them, face to face, smiling sorrowful farewell smiles in an empty white room. The sofa they had shared moments ago disappeared. The room was simply too large, too white and too empty.
She smiled to him. A second was enough for him to remember their entire little eternity. He was grateful for having lived it, although it had been just a dream. Looking at the woman he loved so much, he felt it was time to say goodbye. But 'goodbye' was too much. He couldn't say goodbye. But he had to. Then he remembered their imaginary trip to Paris.
"Au revoir, mon amour," he whispered, as she was turning translucent. Her shining hand was still in his, but he couldn't feel it any more. Slowly, she began to move, as if something was drawing her away from him. He could see bright tears in her eyes, while she was faring away, and he could do nothing. With a last bitter smile, she was gone. Loneliness struck him again.
Daniel opened his eyes. As he looked around only to see his bedroom, the magical reminders of he dream were devoured by the intense morning light. Alone again in the home that seemed deserted and inhospitable, he woke, she fled, and day brought back his night.
END OF PART SIX