I know I don't normally talk to you guys before a story but this is very IMPORTANT, so please read.

I need you guys to send me suggestions for POVs (points of views) for this story. Yes Alec is the main character and it's his story, but you guys need to see what's going on with him from other characters and I want to know who is the most liked and wanted. [Besides Magnus: I already have his other chapter already planned out but that's not going to be for a while] So I don't care if you have an account or if you are just a guest but as long as you've read every chapter up until this point I would love it if you sent POV requests. I'll be doing at least 3 different characters, but only the ones that are asked for most. They won't be super long chapters but oversights of what they see happening with Alec or Magnus.

SO PLEASE SENT IN A REQUEST OR THE STORY MIGHT BE PUT ON HALT BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE MAKING THESE HARD DECISIONS ON MY OWN!

The Realization

"Alec, Isabelle, this is Jace your new brother." Is what mom said as our dad led a golden boy about my age into the house. His eyes looked from mom to Isabelle to up at dad then finally on me. They were a honey gold with fleck of amber that sparkled beautifully in the light of the foyer.

Those beautiful eyes made my eight-year-old heart stutter in my chest. At first I thought it was just a health condition that meant I was going to fall over dead at any moment but I didn't. Jace and I just continued to stare at each other like it was the most important contest of our lives.

I lost.

"Ha I win!" Jace said smugly as he crossed his thin arms over his chest. I didn't know what to do at the time so I just continued to stare at him while my strange heart continued to beat unnaturally in my chest.

"Alec can you show him to his room while we go get his luggage?" Mom asked as dad stepped back outside into the autumn evening.

"What about me?" Izzy asked stomping her little feet. Her black braids swinging around the small pale oval of her face.

"Girls have cooties." I teased sticking my tongue out at her. She glared at me then pouted at mom who already had her back turned and was following after dad.

"Alec, you big meanie face." Izzy yelled punching me in the arm.

"Eew girl germs." Jace said scrunching up his face, but his mouth held the lines of humor. I laughed and Izzy ran out the door crying to our parents.

"This way." I gestured for Jace to follow me out of the foyer. He did. "You're room is upstairs next to mine." I informed as we charged up the stairs as only two excited little boys could.

I threw open his door to reveal a large room with a full bed with plain white sheets and dark wood furniture. Mom said that we would go shopping tomorrow for decorations and things my new brother would like so he would feel comfortable in his new home. I was excited to have a brother, especially one the same age as me. I didn't have many friends in school, "Alec isn't very good with socializing with the other students." is what my teacher had written in my report card. She wasn't wrong, but I wish she hadn't told my parents. My social issues are my own problem, they couldn't change that.

"Wow this is huge." Jace said marveling at his room. Golden eyes wide and mouth opened into a perfect oval. My heart sputtered again and I banged on my chest like it would fix the problem.

It didn't.

Jace turned to me and held out his hand with a half smile and kind eyes and said, "I'm Jace, your new bro. Have any problems bring 'em to me and I'll solve them."

My little heart altogether stopped as I reached to shake his hand. Then it began hammering in my chest as we shook like madmen.

Two years past after that and Jace and I became best friends, brothers so close that we were practically glued at the hip. We had camp outs in the living room, stole cookies when mom wasn't looking, picked on Isabelle about her braids, stay up all night playing games and reading comics. We did everything together, and no matter how healthy and normal my doctor told me I was I didn't believe him. I mean who's heart spazzes out in the chest then suddenly stops altogether just because your brother smiles. I tried to figure out what was wrong with me on my own but nothing helped or explained what was happening to me. What ten-year-old boy has these kinds of reactions towards another boy? I thought about asking Jace if he had them, but decided it was better to keep this my secret until I figured it out.

It wasn't until I was thirteen and on a school trip did it finally make any sense. The school had taken the seventh and eighth graders to a ski resort for a three day trip. It was the end of the first day and everyone had gathered in one of the dens where a roaring fire was going in a giant fireplace, we still had a couple of hours before curfew. Jace had just met Clary who always hung around the musical nerd Simon Lewis. For some reason Jace had taken an immediate liking to her, or should I say her hair. It was bright red and curly and never stayed in her braids. He would tease her about it all the time then buy her a snack or something to make up for it. I didn't understand why until he leaned over to me that night as he stared at her with the most peculiar expression.

"Alec, I think I like her." He whispered. I looked over at Clary, she was laying on a bearskin rug with Simon and his "band" right in front of the fireplace.

"Like her?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, like her. Like really like her." He said looking away from her for a split second to meet my eyes, then back to the redhead.

"How do you know you like her like her?" I inquired following his gaze to the freckle covered girl as my heart sped up uncomfortably in my tight chest. It was like I was being strangled and I didn't know why.

Jace shrugged at first then crossed his legs on the couch we hogged to ourselves, but our classmates were still close enough to hear our conversation. "

You know that feeling when your heart beats so fast you think it's gonna drill right out of your chest and splatter across the floor. Or how your stomach gets those butterflies that make you want to puke but in a good way. That's how she makes me feel and I am totally okay with it. It makes me really happy." He replied with such a broad grin that I wasn't sure it was Jace. He usually was one to smirk or give sarcastic grins, these was a whole new side of Jace that left me short.

I didn't know how to react to his expression but I understood what he said perfectly. That was how I had been feeling for the last five years of my life, but it was towards Jace, my best friend. Jace, my brother!

"I want to see her all the time, even when I'm already looking at her. I can't get enough of the faces she makes when she's drawing something. Have you ever noticed how she can't raise her eyebrows, but they furrow whenever she's upset? It's really cute." He continued to say but my head was else where.

I was trying to stop the aching in my chest and get a grip on the reality that was just dumped in my face like a freezing bucket of ice water. I had romantic feelings for my brother, adoptive brother, but still brother. A guy. Boys didn't fall for other boys... Did they?

I shook my head trying to clear it as Jace went on to say, "Hey Alec you're my brother, my best bud, do you think I should tell Clary? You know, how I feel?" He was looking at me with the most serious honey gold eyes that seemed to see right into me.

I felt the blood drain from my face as I struggled with the part of my brain that works my mouth. "Y-Yeah. I-I mean it's you, what girl doesn't want to be confessed to by you. They're always fawning over you, and the only reason they're not right now is because Izzy sitting six feet away with daggers in her eyes for any female that dare approach her evil older brothers." I replied trying to lighten the sudden heaviness that took over my body. It didn't work.

Jace chuckled but then went serious again as he peeked sideways at Clary again. She was laughing at something Eric had done while Simon frown unamused at them. "She's different. She doesn't fawn, or even ogle me. I don't get it but I like it. Weird huh?" He half sighed half laughed.

"Is your ego depleting?" I asked raising a brow.

Jace laughed full out and several heads turned to look at him, including the group on the bearskin rug. "Of course not. Jace Lightwood is too amazing to falter his perfection."

He was fine. I looked over at Izzy, a seventh grader, to see a bunch of eighth grade guys surrounding her and serving her treats and drinks like she was a Queen on a throne. Her ego was headbutting Jace's for the title of Supreme Arrogant Teenager of the World. I was getting crushed between both of them. This what happens when your siblings leave huge impressions at school while you are still pretty much a social outcast. People only know me as Jace's and Izzy's older brother, or as the oldest of counsel person Lightwood's four children.

That night as I laid in my hotel bed trying to sleep my mind decided it was going to keep me awake with a realization that I just wanted to push away and forget I even came to such a conclusion. The sun was just peeking over the mountains of the resort when I gave up on sleep and crawled out of bed, careful to be quiet so I didn't wake Jace or Jordan -our other roommate, I didn't really know him but he was pretty cool- and slipped out the room. I wandered the fourth floor looking out the tall windows that lined the halls so the tourist could constantly admire the gorgeous scenery. The rising sun had painted the skin a mixture of orange and red and lightening indigo and purples. The fresh fallen snow sparkled like diamond among the mountains and slopes. It was breathtaking, but it wasn't enough to distract my cruel mind.

I was only thirteen, but the evidence of my feelings were too much to ignore. If I could change anything I would wish that it wasn't my brother that made me realize that I had these feelings, that he wasn't the first person that I had these feelings for. If it was anyone else maybe I could handle this, but it was Jace. It doesn't matter if we're not related by blood we are still brothers, best friends. I shouldn't have these emotions or reactions for his smile and face and presence.

As I watched the sun rise over the mountains and brighten the world below I made a vow. I swore to myself that no matter what I would never tell anyone about how I felt about Jace. No one had to know, it was my own personal secret. If he ever found out our relationship would never be as it is now, and I'm happy with how it is. I didn't want it to change.

A year past by in the blink of an eye after that. Jace and Clary started going out and Isabelle took an obvious liking to Simon. My feelings for Jace faded and I only thought of him as a brother. Seeing him happy with Clary helped, though they fought. . . A lot. . . I mean a lot, but they always seem to make up so I figure they love each other. I kept my secrets easily but that one night was my revelation. It made me understand why I never cared for girls, why they ways flew under my radar and why I like to follow other guys unconsciously with my eyes which I realized soon after that night. It helped me understand myself a bit more, but at the same time I became more self-conscious that someone would notice and tell my family. They couldn't know. Not yet. Maybe never. My parents were busy with politics stuff I doubt I'll ever understand, and theist thing they need to hear is that their eldest wasn't as boredom normal as they thought.

I was gay.

I was okay with it.

Sort of.

It'll stay my secret, for now. . .

Flashback chapter. Hope you enjoyed Alec's journey to his realization. Don't forget to leave a POV suggestion