Chapter 18
Ghosts,Ninjas,and dumb women
Sephiroth here in charge. Darkcomet he will be back next chapter he felt he needed a break so he left me in charge so please tell me how I do...FOOLISH SHIT HOGS TO THE SLAUGHTER!!! mmhhh sorry.
DISCLAIMER: Darkcomet does not own anything in this fic...especcially mentos.
Henri had climbed to the top of the elevator shaft
"hey did that hurt?" Eileen asked
"No it felt good...OF COURSE IT HURT YOU DUMB BITCH!" Henri expressed his anger twords Eileen
"Jesus you didn't have to take it out on me...why do you smell so bad?" Eileen asked changing the subject
"I HAVE BEEN LOCKED IN MY ROOM LONGER THAN I CAN REMEMBER, I HAVE SEEN AT LEAST FOUR PEOPLE DIE, YOU WERE BEATEN WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE, AND YOU TELL ME I SMELL BAD!!!" Henri exploded
Eileen responded by pulling out a pack of mentos
"huh, appology accepted let's go" Henri said beggining to scale the wall to the other side
"how the hell am I supposed to scale that? I only have one good arm" Eileen said
"Hey lady I probably have a concussion from getting hit in the head with a broom stick...YOUR...broomstick, and I just had a crash in an elevator yet I am doing it" Henri said scaling
"Henri...what the hell does that have to do with me? I only have one arm YOU have TWO...The simple matter is that unless I grow a third one from my ass I ain't getting across" Eileen said
"Well don't worry when I go in this door you will magically teleport in there with me without ever having gone in there yourself" Henri said walking twords the door
"I don't believe..." Eileen said as she teleported to the other room as henri walked through the door
"..you" Eileen finished as she relized henri was right...Again
Sephiroth:right twice in a day looks like a good day for henri
"Let me rape the kitten first" a voice said
"no I want to rape the pankake" another voice said
down a set of stairs was a pair of brainless Kefka bots arguing
Sephiroth: whoops spoke to soon
"Is that not Henri?" One of the asked
"NO! that is Dixi my pet penis" the other one answered actually being serious
"what in the name of holy hell are these things?" Henri asked
"No clue..but they are funny" Eileen responded laughing
"the lady thinks I am sexy" One of them screamed
"I want her doggy style" the other screamed
"to hell with that last statement kick their ass Henri!" eileen screamed
"whatever" Henri said walking up there with his bat and pulvarising the Kefka bots until they were nothing but scrap
"hey douche" a voice said
"huh?" Henri said turning around seeing Squall from FF VIII standing before him
"you took my line asshole" Squall said as he kicked Henri in the nuts and walked off
"OHHHHHHH! that smarts like a sonovabitch" Henri said thinking his problems couldn't get any worse
He was of course...wrong
"ow...Ow...Ow..OWWW...SON..OF...A...BITCH...AHHH!" Henri screamed as he fell down the stairs
100 painful bounces later
"Owwww...I think my luck sucks..ohhhh" Henri moaned at the bottom of the stairs
"that looks like it hurts henri" Eileen said
"bitch...when this is over...after we do it...I am going to kill you" Henri said
"...really?" Eileen said
"yes...and enjoy it" Henri said struggling to his feet
(BE) to the base
"Hey did you know I put in a hotdog machine..It works kind of like a soda machine" James said
"really where is it?" Kuja asked
"well it was in the moniter room...but Walter loved it too much and stuck it in his room...he hasn't been out since we got it" James said
"I love you hot dog"
"what was that?" Kuja asked
"oh that. That was Walter he is consumed by these hotdogs I swear" James said
"Well time to take them away...if we don't he might become an addict to hotdogs." Kuja said walking to Walters room
"Kind of like those girls in the short skirts, you know the ones on the corner" James said
"Uhhh...yeah James just like them" Kuja said walking into Walters room
"O.K Walter put the...hot...dogs...down" Kuja said in shock
"you see there is a code imbedded in thes Hotdogs and it is up to me to find out...see...this one has ketchup...this one has mustard...this one has both...but this one is plain" Walter rambled on
"Walter Damnit there are freaking hotdogs all over the floor...and mayonase all over the walls" Kuja said wiping some mayonase off with his finger
"that isn't mayonase" Walter said looking up from his hotdogs
"Ohhh" Kuja moaned as he vomited all over the floor
"Dude...You just puked all over my floor..and I'll be damned if I clean it up...I am trying to be germ free here" Walter said going back to his work
"He kind of reminds me of that movie a beautiful mind...oh god...What if we are just his mental creations...Well damnit I am not going to be silenced" James screamed
"James you aren't make believe...just incredibly stupid" Kuja said
"thank god..hey look beer" James said
"Yeah go ahead and take some" Walter said not looking up from the hot dogs
"ahhh beer" Kuja said as he began to drink
"that one isn't beer" walter said pointing to Kuja
"EWWW!" Kuja said vomiting on the floor
"DAMNIT KUJA! Quit making my room nasty!" Walter said refocusing on his hot dogs
"Sorry..I THOUGHT VOMITING WAS ALLOWED! BUT OBVIOUSLY ONLY PLAYING WITH MYSELF AND PAINTING THE WALLS WHITE...AND PISSING IN BOTTLES IS ALLOWED!" Kuja said storming off
"Dude what is his problem...I just painted the walls white with paint...and I put root beer in a beer bottle...damn he gets pissed easy." Walter said refocusing on the hotdog
(BE) back to Henri
"wow look at this room" Eileen said
"What room we are on a freaking staircase floating in the damn sky" Henri said
"and on top of that there is so much fog that if there were walls here you can't freaking see them" Henri said
"that's fog I thought it was moving wall paper" EIleen said
"Eileen are you pregnant?" Henri asked
"no. Why?" Eileen said
Henri pushed her down the stairs..and then started to walk down
when he reached the bottom
"what the hell Henri?" Eileen asked
"just keep walking" Henri said
They went in the door nearby
"you know this wall scheme looks familiar" Henri said
"you've seen it before?" Eileen asked
"I feel like I have" Henri said as they walked into the door infront them
"feel anything yet?" Eileen asked
"no..but this place seems to ring a bell" Henri said as he walked into the hallway and started to walk down it
"ewww..what is that disgusting black stuff" Eileen said
"I don't know...wait I recognize this place" Henri finally relizing where he was
"still what is this damn stuff?" Eileen said
"it looks like her hair...but this wasn't here before...and she is dead anyway" Henri said puzzeled
"dead? I think not" A voice crackled
"Oh shit please don't tell me" Henri said as he turned around
"I thought you were freaking dead..Damnit why the hell are you back" Henri said
"I thought You would be happy to see me" the woman said
"Damnit cynthia...why the hell would I be happy to see you? You demeaned my intelligence and tried to give me S.T.D.s" Henri said
"Who is this woman Henri?" Eileen asked
"Henri is this the tramp you are sleeping with?" Cynthia asked
"what did you call me bitch?" Eileen said angry
"Hey Eileen that...Bitch...is undead..so she could probably kill you" Henri said
"well she is on the other side of that barrier..so we are in good shape right?" Eileen said
"yeah good point..HA! you can't reach me nah nah nah nah nah..ha ha haer..oh damn" Henri said as Cythia passed through the turnstile
"uhh Henri do you have any tokens" Eileen said frantically
"uhh..I think..damnit where are they..oh shit..I have them right... Oh thank god here they are" Henri said as he grabbed the coins from his pocket and put them in the thing to put them in
"book it bitch" Henri screamed as he ran down the stairs and Eileen followed
"thank god we escaped that" Eileen said..when no sooner that she said that a ninja grabbed he jumped across the room and pulled out a knife
"move and I waste the bitch" the ninja said
"waste her see if I care...She is mentally retarded anyway" Henri said not caring
"Henri you bastard..save me" Eileen screamed
"oh allright" Henri said as he pulled out his bat
"please I am a ninja...if you hit me with that bat I will be...OWWW!" the ninja screamed as he was hit in the face with a bat
Henri threw it
"DAMNIT!" the ninja screamed
"dad why can't I kill like you" the ninja said
"Uhhh what the hell is wrong with you?" Henri said
the ninja removed his mask
"hey you are that guy from the woods" Henri said
the ninja turned around reveiling a dog looking person
"who are you?" Henri said
"My name is Max...Max...uhhh...Just Max..and don't you froget it" Max said as he ran away
"damnit why do all the weird people come to me." Henri said
"Henri thank you for saving me" Eileen said trying to reach in Henris pants
"After we get out of this hellhole it is kind of a turnoff here" Henri said
"fine then lets hurry" Eileen said walking on
"Oh my god I hate my life" Henri said following her
END OF CHAPTER
Hey all Sephiroth here Darkcomet's personal assistant he gave me a message...He will return next chapter he has put me in charge of all reviews so I guess if I will talk to him so it will be like talking to him only you will be talking to me...oh and any flamers will feel my blade...FOOLISH MORTALS! that one actually made sense. Oh and he told me to not forget questions... anybody ask he, or they will answer. So until next time...ADIOS
NEXT CHAPTER DARKCOMET RETURNS...BE THERE!