Disclaimer: I don't own Thor.

Aww, thanks so much everyone for the reviews for the first chapter! That means so much to me! I'm glad I have some people along for the crack-filled ride. Anyway, here's the next chapter. It was so much fun to write, no lie. I just think this fic is gonna be fun to write in general. Anyway, I love animals (and that's not an understatement at all) so I thought it would be an interesting concept to write for. Hope everyone enjoys!

Alphabet Soup
002. B for Bulldog

"Why are we doing this?"

Loki should have known better than to ask, but he just couldn't help himself. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he was curious about her explanation regarding their endeavor. She always had the most...interesting ways of putting things, even though he hardly understood her word usage most of the time.

"Dude, do not question the greatness of the Darcy-nator."

Like that.

But Loki had no choice but to question the great...oh, he was not going to repeat that title, not even in his thoughts.

He had no choice because these creatures were yipping at him.

Dogs.

Loud and boistrous and unabashed about their noise-making. And there was a great amount of them in one place. As Loki and his human made their way down the halls of this dog-holding facility - "shelter" - Loki realized that they had various types. No two dogs really looked the same. Some had floppy ears, others had pointed ears. Some were rather furry, and Loki had seen one with no hair at all except for a crest of white adorning his head. Fat and skinny, hyper and mellow. These dogs were rather fascinating creatures, Loki hated to admit.

"Darcy..."

"I am here because I need to find someone to share my love with. To share my life." Darcy spread her hands out to the sides of her as if she had wings.

Loki cleared his throat pointedly.

Darcy turned around. Loki was holding the edge of his scarf between two fingers and blatantly staring away from her.

"Oh. I love you, too," Darcy said as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. "But a dog will lie with me on the couch! Fetch me a cup of coffee! Go to the store and buy me ice cream and tampons when I'm PMS-y."

Loki shuddered at the last part. That was certainly not a thing he would like to remember. At all. But he paused a moment and then said, "I've done all of those things. And I'm sure a...dog...can't get you coffee or buy you...items..."

Darcy kept walking, only throwing an idle, "Sometimes quiet is nice, too," over her shoulder as she went.

Infuriating, Loki thought. "These things are far from quiet, dear."

She turned around and winked at him.

Oh.

Right.

Well, she might have wanted him to be quiet, but that didn't mean he was going to oblige her. Bothering her was much more fun than anyone would ever realize. "Is this the only place you can retrieve your...companion?" he asked, eyeing a pair of sketchy looking dogs with poofy hair.

"Jane would have my head if I didn't adopt one from a shelter."

Loki snickered at that.

He continued walking behind Darcy, eyes scanning the cages. They looked strong, but Loki couldn't help but think of all the animals escaping and pouncing on the clueless girl in front of him.

Loki passed the cage of one particularly menacing dog. All black, with blue eyes, pointed ears and white teeth. It blinked at Loki and then approached, wagging its tail. Curious, the Trickster stuck his fingers against the cage. The dog's tongue flicked out and licked the tips of his fingers.

"Oh my God!" Darcy's shriek sounded from ahead of him.

Oh, for the love of Odin. The dogs really had atttacked her.

Loki started running in the direction of the scream. He turned a corner and saw, with great relief, that Darcy was not being mauled to death, but shoving her face directly against the bars, slender fingers wrapping around the metal. She was giggling uncontrollably, her shoulders shaking with excitement. He didn't bother fighting his smile - he supposed he forgot how since he met her.

"I assume you found something?" he asked, amused.

Darcy did not look at him, but crooned, "Look."

Loki shrugged and made his way to the cage, stopping as soon as he got shoulder-to-shoulder with Darcy.

And he gaped.

This dog was very different than the sleek, black specimen Loki had found himself drawn to.

It was a stout creature, with a smushed in nose and brown-and-white fur. Large brown eyes stared at him lazily. A tennis ball was perched between its teeth. Drool dribbled from the corner of its mouth. The poor tennis ball was soaked in it.

Darcy was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Oh my Gooooood!"

"I presume this is the one?"

Darcy nodded emphatically.

The dog rose from its seated position and walked to Darcy with a waddle that made Loki almost burst into laughter. The action in and of itself seemed to take half an hour.

She reached out to pat its head.

It drooled on her fingers.

"Eeeee!" She sounded like a delighted child. If drooling on her was all Darcy needed to be happy, then Loki should probably take some lessons from this sluggish creature.

He found himself chuckling at the scene, and as he did so, his eyes drifted upward to a laminated piece of paper fastened to the cage with a chain. It read:

"Hi, my name is Marty!
Sex: Male
Age: 11 months
Breed: English Bulldog
Vaccinated.
Neutered."

"His name is Marty," Loki said lamely, not understanding most of the rest other than the obvious things. He didn't know what "neutered" meant, and really, he didn't think he wanted to find out.

"Aww, Marty," Darcy crowed. "You handsome man!"

Marty sat back on his haunches and looked up at her, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. He looked almost like he was grinning. The stump of a tail he had wagged, causing his whole hindquarters to move with it.

"How's everything coming along?" the voice of one of the shelter's workers - Cliff, if Loki remembered correctly - rang out. He smiled once he saw the expression on Darcy's face. "Oh, I know that look. Marty's the one, huh?"

Darcy beamed at him.

"Right then." The man took out a set of keys and unlocked the door. Marty leapt up and jumped out, putting his paws on the jean-clad leg of the man. "Let's get you up front. We have a bit of paperwork for you to fill out." He then clipped a leash to Marty's collar and gave him to Darcy. He started jumping around, barking happily. "Your background check cleared, so you're good to go, Miss Lewis."

"Background check?" Loki scoffed. "The extent of Darcy's evil is being a proponent of that awful burger chain you Midga - "

"McDonald's is a sacred institution!" she shouted, interrupting Loki before he could call them "Midgardians" and further distinguish himself as weird. And not only because he wore a scarf in the summer.

They passed the cage where the large black dog stood. Stopping, Loki read the information tag on the front of the cage.

"Hi, my name is Liveda!
Sex: Female
Age: 9 months
Breed: German Shephard/Black Lab mix
Vaccinated.
Spayed."

He pressed his fingers against the cage again. Liveda pushed her cold nose against him. Loki heard, in the background, the owner of the shelter mutter something and then footsteps. The black dog's ears twitched as the jingling of keys sounded. The man unlocked the door, but Liveda remained stationary. After a moment, she stepped forward and sniffed Loki's shoes.

"I thought Marty could use a friend," Darcy said softly, suddenly by Loki's side, twirling Marty's leash in her hands. He slobbered all over the floor, ruining whatever poignancy the moment had.

Loki swallowed. "Yeah."

The owner clipped another leash to Liveda's collar and then handed it to Loki. "I know a match when I see one."

"Lived-a?" Darcy attempted.

"Liv-ee-dah," the man corrected.

Darcy crouched and scratched the black dog's ears. "Hi, Lived-a. I think you and Loki are gonna be great friends."

"I thought you said Marty could use a friend."

Darcy shrugged.

"I've never seen her act like this," Cliff said as he finalized the paperwork. Marty was currently sitting on Darcy's shoes and panting. Liveda was calmly sitting beside Loki. "I mean, Marty's always been mellow, even as a little puppy when we first got him, but Liveda...she's kind of a handfull."

"Why do you say that?" Darcy asked absently, too busy scratching Marty's wrinkled forehead to really care.

"Well..." he trailed off. "Her name is Liveda."

Blank looks focused on him.

"Liveda is 'a devil' backwards."

Loki paused, gazing down at his newly acquired partner.

And he could've sworn she smirked at him.

End 002.