Disclaimer: All characters, plots, and settings related to Twilight are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended by the author.

Chapter Nine

Real Land of the Living

Mike kept looking at me all throughout the morning. Sometimes he gave me sad droopy smiles, and sometimes he looked upset. I didn't really get why he bothered asking me out at the first place. Did I pose some sort of challenge on him since I've always said no? Was I, as impossible and mortifying as it may, attractive to him? Ew. I shrugged off the thought, only to be struck by another mind-boggling dilemma.

The kiss.

I could save myself from all the wondering and just call Edward right then and there and demand he explain his actions earlier. Should I do that? Do I have the right? After all, it was all part of our deal. I mean, boyfriends kiss their girlfriends all the time, right? And he was supposed to be my boyfriend, which makes me his girlfriend, which means he's supposed to kiss me all the time. Well, not all the time, but sometimes… right? Did that make sense? Was there logic in my reasoning?

A big burly man came by the counter to pay for his purchase.

But why did he do it so suddenly and out of the blue, that whining prick? Ugh. He should have warned me, and I wouldn't have been upset about it all.

I closed the cash register as the customer walked away with his brand new Primus stove.

Wait, am I even upset about it? Should I be? Aren't I? Hell, I was confused. I turned my attention on the book that I brought. Clear your head, Bella. Forget the kiss. Forget Edward. I made myself focus on the characters of the novel, and their own conflicting emotions.

I was done with the book before my shift ended, and so I was once again stuck in a room with Jacob Black, neither of us talking to each other. I thought it was a mutual decision, but somehow Jacob didn't get the clue when I ran out the last time he tried to talk to me.

"Hey, Bells, how's it going?" he asked at the end of the day.

I looked at the clock behind me. It was nearly five. Please go home, Jacob. "Fine," I muttered, trying to swallow back the bile on my throat. I started transferring the bills from the cash register into a small safe-deposit box to avoid looking at him.

"It was nice to have you back on the beach last Saturday. Why did you left so suddenly, though?"

Your party was lame. "I had other plans."

He nodded, pretending to understand, I assumed. "Are you okay?"

"What?"

"Everyone saw what happened… with you and Cullen. You were pretty upset."

Where was he going with this?

"What you did was only right, Bella. He deserved it."

I looked up at him, my brow raised.

"He's not good enough for you," he added.

My mouth dropped open. Is he kidding me? Who does he think he is?

I was still gaping like a fish when I saw Edward came in the store. He halted by the door, his face depicting astonishment as he took in the rare sight of Bella Swan and Jacob Black talking. I know, right? I couldn't believe it either.

Jacob, sensing someone was behind him, turned around and saw Edward. He took a step away from me. I concentrated back on the bills. When I looked up again, Jacob was talking with Edward. I couldn't hear a word, and could only see Edward's expression as he listened. He looked confused.

After a short moment, I saw Jacob patting Edward's shoulder, as if comforting him. I was getting confused myself. Then the traitorous jerk walked away from my pseudo-boyfriend, heading towards the back room.

"Well, I'm done for the day," traitorous jerk said to no one in particular. Edward and I both looked bewildered. Jacob then took his shirt off just before he disappeared into the other room, which was completely stupid and disgusting if you ask me, because I doubt he was sweaty one bit. It was cold, for crying out loud! Now Edward and I looked just grossed-out.

Edward walked over to me. "What was that all about?" he asked, his voice low.

I shrugged. "What did he say to you?" I kept my voice to a minimum, too, which reminded me of our whispers that morning. I shook my head. Now's not the time, Bella.

"Just some stuff."

"Tell me."

His hand went through his hair. "Um… he said you won't take me back, that I'm wasting my time coming here to see you." He looked at me warily. "He said you're not… um… the forgiving type."

He said what? Traitorous jerk did it again, proving once more how obnoxious he is.

"I can't believe how everyone believes every stinking rumor nowadays," Edward murmured, shaking his head.

I nodded. "He told me you deserved what I did to you last Saturday…"

Edward just chuckled.

"…and that you're not good enough for me," I continued.

Edward's laugh stopped abruptly. He frowned. "Really?" He paused. "I think he just played both us, that sneaky bastard."

"True."

I'm not the forgiving type? Well, it may be true I haven't completely forgiven Jacob. Some one percent of me seemed to be hanging on to its anger, but I did forgive him… ninety-nine percent. That was more than Jacob deserves. All I did was ignored him, burned any photograph with his stupid face, and cursed him in the safety of my own bedroom. He was lucky I wasn't the vengeful type. If I was, I would have picked a huge rock that day and banged it on his unsuspecting head and the other head that was attached to it.

I am forgiving. I forgave Edward last Saturday, didn't I?

I looked up at Edward and saw him still frowning. Huh. He has his own issues. Although I admit he fully deserved being splashed with cold soda, what he did to me was far less cruel and hurtful than what the traitorous jerk did. If there was anyone who isn't good enough for me, it was Jacob.

The sound of the door knob snapped me out of my thoughts, and before Jacob could step out of the back room, I had my arms around Edward's waist. I felt rather than saw Edward's surprise at my sudden embrace. His arms slowly surrounded me, like he was unable to decide what to do quickly.

Well, if I was already being heedless by making such move, I might as well do this all-out, right? I nuzzled my face against Edward's chest. "Hmm… I missed you today." I winced internally. It didn't sound like my own voice.

Edward kept mum, and I was afraid he was trying not to laugh at my act. I discreetly pinched his back. I could sense Jacob close, and if Edward laughs, I would die of embarrassment. Seriously, I would die.

"I missed you too, baby."

I had to restrain a gasp. Whoa. I wasn't sure if it was because I was too close to him that he sounded different, but he did, and it wasn't funny at all.

Jacob then cleared his throat. I still had my face against Edward's shirt so I only heard him say, "It's past five. We should close this store up, Bells."

Ugh. I didn't pull away from Edward, and I was glad it was him who replied, "It's fine, Jake. We can handle it. You should head home."

Jacob didn't say another word. I listened to his heavy footsteps as he walked out of the store, my head still glued to Edward's shirt. Hmm. The smell was familiar. I took another sniff. I knew the scent somewhere. Have I smelled him before? I didn't think so. I was sure I never hugged him before, and I doubt I have stood close enough to him to smell him. But it felt like I knew the scent. I've smelled the scent. I just didn't know where…

"Hey." Edward shook me out of my musings. "Did you fall asleep?"

I realized then that I still had my arms around him, my nose pressed against his chest, my eyes closed. Oops.

Tuesday morning seemed like a repeat of Monday's. I didn't want to go to work. I've started a second book the night before, and I just wanted to stay in bed and read. And just like yesterday morning, Edward was again waiting for me outside, the door of his car's passenger seat open.

"I'll drive myself to work, Edward." I didn't want this to be a routine.

"Don't be stubborn, Bella. I don't mind driving you. It really isn't a bother," he said. "We could save gas."

"Where do you go to work, anyway?"

He hesitated. "Um… with my dad… at the hospital."

"That's on the other side of town," I pointed out.

"So?" He smirked. "I'm fairly sure we'd still be using less energy than if you drive that decrepit truck of yours."

"Hey, don't hate the truck," I scoffed.

"I could say worse things about your truck, Bella, and it has nothing to do with hatred. Don't get me started. Get in, and I'll play nice."

I frowned, but got in his car. Aside from saving gas, it dawned on me that I would also be saving gas money, and that would be helpful when September comes.

Edward was silent, unlike yesterday. He only asked me about the book I was currently reading.

We talked about books yesterday afternoon, too. I had thought about asking him about the kiss, but later dismissed the idea. He had not asked about my embrace either, which I was grateful for. I didn't know what to say if he'd asked. It was like we had this silent agreement not to discuss whatever it is we did with each other, not that they were wrong and unlawful. It was just a little intimate for two strangers to act… well, not exactly strangers. It's Edward after all. If there was anyone I had to do this with, I'm glad it's Edward. I tried to imagine being with someone else, like Mike, for instance, hugging him, or kissing him… gross! I shuddered at the thought.

"Are you listening to me?" Edward pulled me back to the present.

"What? What did you say?"

"I said, did you think it was fair when the father slaughtered the suspect in the middle of the trial? I mean, sure, if it was me, I'd probably be itching to get my hands on the bastard…"

I turned to him, alarmed. I haven't read that part of the book yet. "Edward, nooooo!"

He looked surprised at my reaction for second, but then he laughed, and tried to give me more spoilers for the rest of the ride. I blasted his car's audio system. He just laughed again.

When I stepped inside the store, Mike silently smiled at me and went on with his work. I smiled back. Things were so much better with Mike now that he has stop asking me out. Before I took my place behind the counter, I looked back against my shoulder. Edward wasn't there, and neither was his car. He has already driven away.

"So, you're back with Edward?" Jacob asked during his afternoon shift.

I had an urge to tell him to butt out, but I didn't. "Um… we didn't really break up. I just had a tough day last Saturday."

He nodded. "You should come to La Push again anytime soon. You missed the bonfire that night – you know, like the ones we did before…"

I looked back at him with a blank face.

"…and we cooked hotdogs and stuff… you remember?"

I did remember. I remembered cold nights in La Push when we built fires that got so big it looked like it could reach the ink-black sky, and then we ate hotdogs with root beer until it felt like our tummies would burst. "Yeah," I answered my face still expressionless.

He smiled. "Do you remember when we used to walk by the shore and collect firewood, and then my dad would…?"

I stopped him. "Please. I don't want to talk about it." I stepped past him into the bathroom where I counted until fifty before I walked back out. I was relieved when I saw Jacob with a customer. Insensitive weasel. Couldn't he figure out that it was beyond uncomfortable going through memory lane with him?

Five o'clock rolled by and I was done closing the store. I sat on the wet pavement waiting for Edward. Has he forgotten to pick me up? I checked my phone. He has not replied to my text. It was just 5:12, but my mind was already thinking ahead on how I could go home without Edward. If he couldn't come, the only option was to call one of my parents. I grimaced. I hated being dependent on others. I should have taken my truck.

I was about to call Edward when I spotted his car speeding towards me. Relieved, I stood up, ready to jump inside the Volvo and head home.

I did just that, and before I could say a word, Edward was already talking. "Hey, I'm sorry. I had to go to the mechanic without a car to get my dad's car since it needed a new battery, and I think I underestimated the time I needed to get there since I'm so used in driving fast, and I was not – driving, I mean, and then I had to go back to hospital and find my dad to give him his car's keys…"

Huh. Edward has the tendency to talk nonstop when he's anxious. "Okay, okay. It's fine." It was just twelve minutes, after all. He seemed to have more trouble than I.

He let out a breath and nodded once. "Okay."

I stared out of the window as we head home, watching the wet green land that is Forks. I used to love this small town, and not just because it was the only home I knew. There was so much going on here before, and I remembered the feeling of having something to look forward to each day. Now it just seemed… empty. I couldn't wait for the school year to start so I could go back to Seattle.

Where did everything go downhill?

Earlier in the afternoon, as I recalled random memories of my past, I realized I was different now than I was then. Not completely, but I wasn't this… empty. That word again. Was I just plain bored, or was there something more to this?

"You're awfully quiet this afternoon," Edward stated from beside me.

I nodded, feeling glum.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Really, I didn't mean it. I really didn't know it would take so long…"

I stopped his non-stop talking before it gets worse. "It's not you. I'm just feeling out of the weather, or something."

"Oh. Okay."

A beat of silence loomed over us.

"Bella, how come I haven't met any of your friends?" Edward asked out of the blue.

I told him about Angela being out of town, and Alice who lives in Seattle and was also vacationing in a small town near Idaho.

"That's it? You only have two friends?" He seemed incredulous.

"I'm also friends with most of my classmates back in the university, but not as close as those two..." I defended myself. Plus, he's also my friend, isn't he? That makes three.

He made a face. "Jeez, Bella. That's why you look dead most of the time."

Excuse me? Dead? I gave him a scowl. But then he may be right; I was just thinking how I feel a little vacuous nowadays. Maybe there was a connection between the two.

I was still musing about that when the car came to a sudden stop. I looked out of the window and saw that we weren't at home yet. What the...? Before I could ask, Edward was already out of the car and was opening my door. He handed me a key. Wait, his car keys? I stared up at him, open-mouthed.

"You drive," he said.

"What?" I pushed his hand away. "Why should I?"

"Come on, Bella." He shoved the key in my hand before pulling me out of the car. He went in and sat on the passenger seat.

Confused, I settled on the driver's seat. Was this some sort of a lousy joke? I eyed him questioningly before putting the key in. He put on his seat belt with a mocking grin – a suspicious move. I reluctantly started the car, and I had to admit I was impressed by the quiet purr of its engine. I relaxed on my seat when I reached 60.

"Go faster," Edward said.

"What?"

"My car can handle higher than 60, Bella. Go faster."

"What? No!" I doubt I ever drove faster than 60. I mean, my truck surely wasn't capable of a speed higher than that.

"You're driving too slow. Hit on the gas."

"No, I won't."

"It's not going to kill you, Bella."

"It will."

"I drive fast all the time."

"Edward, my dad's a cop, remember? I was raised to abide by traffic rules."

"We're not going to tell him. Hit on the gas."

I wanted to focus on my driving, but Edward kept distracting me. "Edward, no! Stop bothering me."

"Go 80. Come on, Bella."

"Stop it."

"It's not fast enough."

"No. I'm going to kill someone that fast."

"It's an empty road. You can go faster than this."

"No!" But then somehow – subconsciously, I presumed – I was pressing on the gas more. The speed dial was moving on to 70.

"That's it, Bella. Go higher."

"No. My dad will find out. We'll get into trouble." Slow down, Bella. Slow down. I couldn't turn my head from the windshield, and I couldn't slow down. Whoa, whoa, whoa...

"No, we're not. This is still too slow."

"No, Edward. I can't."

But the dial was now on 80. My heart was beating out of my chest. What is happening? I checked the side mirror; no one was following us.

"You can do 100."

"100?"

"Yeah, you're almost running at 90 now."

"What? No!" I was already grasping the steering wheel, my knuckles tight. I felt a little out of control, my heart pounding like crazy. What is happening to me?

"Just a little more, Bella."

A little more and I was already driving more than a hundred miles per hour. I couldn't believe it. I was already leaning close to the windshield by now, my eyes wide.

"Now, open the windows."

"What?" I was clearly on a daze, but still managed to concentrate on driving.

"Open the windows."

I tried moving one hand from the wheel, but I couldn't. It seemed glued there. "I can't!"

"Bella, just press that button by the window..."

I tried again. "I really can't!"

I felt him lean over me, his arm passing in front of my chest. In the next second, cold wind whooshed into the car, my hair moving swiftly with its flux. We seemed to be moving so much faster with the windows down. I never experienced this before – not with my dad, Alice, or even Jacob. We were moving so fast. I could feel my breath coming in too fast and too shallow, a shot of adrenaline coursing through my blood. Everything should have been blurry, but it was not. The road ahead was open and clear to me, and I knew I could do it. I could feel my lips forming into a smile. It was exhilarating, the thrill paralyzing any other senses except to feel the speed – of the car, the wind... I wanted to scream and laugh and maybe pop my head out into the strong passing current of air.

And then I was laughing, and I could hear Edward laughing with me, and we just couldn't stop.

Soon, we were no longer alone on the road. A few vehicles passed by, and I knew I had to slow down. I checked the side mirror again; still no cops at our tail. The surge of driving fast slowly evaporated, leaving me clammy and wide-eyed.

I parked by the driveway when we finally arrived, and took a moment to relish the feeling. "That was... such a rush," I breathed, my hand never leaving the wheel.

Edward chuckled beside me. "Welcome to the real land of the living, zombie."

I turned to see him looking smug. I collapsed against the seat, finally letting my hands free. We stayed seated for a short minute. I shivered.

"You're cold. Get inside before you get sick."

I nodded, feeling a little woozy. I stepped out of the car, almost falling as my feet landed on the ground.

My mom was standing by the front door, and I was instantly met by her curious gaze. Uh-oh. "Was that you driving, Bella?" she called out.

"Er... yeah. I guess it was," I shrugged as I walked towards her.

"You let her drive?" my mom asked Edward, who was on his way back to the driver's seat.

I heard Edward laugh from behind me. "Yeah. I was just proving how much I love her by letting her drive my precious car." He laughed again.

I turned around back to him, ignoring my mom's giggling. I rolled my eyes. Really, where did the guy get these lines, anyway? "So," I said to him. "If you love me, would you let me drive again?" My brows rose as I called to his bluff. Hmm. Driving Edward's Volvo was quite an experience; a repeat performance wouldn't be so bad. I could still relive everything in my mind.

He got the challenge, but laughed anyway. "No way! I love you so much to let you drive again. You're a lousy driver; you can't even open the windows!"

I scowled. So much for a repeat performance. "Go home, Cullen, and take your damn ostentatious Volvo with you."

He seemed unable to stop laughing. He grinned and gave me a salute – which garnered another eye roll from me – before getting inside the said pretentious car and drove away. I turned toward the house.

"You look great, dear," my mom commented after her giggles died down. "You look... well, alive."

I paused at her remark. Welcome to the real land of the living, zombie. I turned and looked back at the empty road with a smile.

AN. I'm sorry for any typographical error. I wrote this in a hurry. Thank you.