Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applied.

Author's note: I have revised it again. Why you asked? Well first, because I felt like it. Second, the old story is far from original plot that I had in mind. Third, I just felt like it? Didn't I tell you that before? Well it is because I felt like it. So no question asked. *smile*

Side notes: Beta read by THE GENIUS M. L. Ayala

Been revised yet again on June 14, 2013

Theme song: Big Bang – Tell Me Goodbye

CHAPTER 2

3:08 AM, Sunday, April 30

Dear Diary,

It's really late at night and I don't know why my eyes won't close. I can't sleep.

Cloud has not come home yet. He is coming home late at night and leaving early in the morning almost every day now. I am scared that he is going to leave us like he did years ago. Even though he is picking up his phone every time the kids and I call, I know him well enough.

He is starting to distance himself again. I hate this feeling. I hate to feel this sense of déjà vu running through my mind. I hope everything is going to be all right between us. I hear him calling Aerith's name in his sleep again night after night. I thought I asked him to forgive himself, but I guess he still feels guilty over what happened.

It leaves pain in my heart. I don't know what to do. I asked him before but he said nothing is wrong and he keeps avoiding the topic. I know he was lying. I wonder if he misses her or if he longs for her. I wish I could be jealous of Aerith. But I can't. She was so lovable, flirtatious and innocent, and she was my best friend. She is dead but Cloud is still missing her and I am alive but Cloud is making me feel like I am not. If only Aerith was not dead.

If only I could switch places with her. If only I had a time machine, I would change her place with me and let Sephiroth kill me instead of her. If only.

Sometimes I wonder when I ever did something wrong. We have everything we wanted before. But is this family not enough for him, or am I not good enough?

Tifa put the diary back where it belonged and tucked herself up in her queen sized bed that she shared with Shelke.

She was trying to close her eyes, but failed to do so. Tifa rolled on her stomach and threw a pillow over her head. She had not been able to sleep properly for several days. She was tired and she desperately needed sleep.

She groaned in frustration and sat up in her bed, careful not to disturb sleeping form beside her. She moved to the window sill and looked out; no stars were visible above in the sky. It will rain soon, she thought. Then she heard a faint of sound of a motorcycle's engine, growing louder by the second.

She saw him as Cloud stopped his huge motorcycle in front of the garage that connected to the back room. He was completely covered in mud. She took the alarm clock that was near the bed and saw that it was 3:34 in the morning. Tifa fought with her conscience on whether she should greet him or not. She was about to go to his room when she heard him slamming his bedroom door. What happened? Why did he slam the door as if he was angry? The barmaid beauty guessed that he was too tired, so Tifa went back to her bed.

"Tifa?" said Denzel, "Tifa! Wake up!"

Tifa woke up as she heard Denzel calling her name. It was already morning, and the sun was shining bright. She saw that it was 8:49 in the morning already, and realized that she had overslept. Tifa saw that Denzel was standing near her bed, but Shelke was not around. Tifa guessed that she was downstairs preparing breakfast.

"Yes, Denzel. What's wrong?" asked Tifa, concerned.

"Cloud is not in his bed," replied Denzel.

"What?" she questioned him again.

"Cloud is not in his bed!" repeated Denzel, a bit irritated.

"He probably left to do his delivery, dear." Tifa replied while yawning.

"But today is Sunday! He never delivers on Sunday!" said Denzel, concerned for his father figure.

"Is he not going to watch the movie with us?"

"He probably has something urgent that he needs to deliver right away." Tifa replied. "What time did he leave?"

Denzel shook his head "I don't know. I just woke up"

"Are you done making your bed? Is Marlene up yet? Did you already brush your teeth?" Tifa asked.

"Yes and Marlene is with Shelke downstairs"

"Okay. Come on, let's have our breakfast" The brunette barmaid replied while stretching and went down with Denzel after she finished with her morning routine.

What Denzel said was true. Cloud never did his deliveries on Sunday, because Tifa told him that he needed to have a day off so that he was not overworked.

I wonder what is wrong.

Tifa had closed her bar today because she has promised the kids to take them to watch a movie in Loveless Street. Tifa picked up her phone and dialed his PHS. It rang a few times before his answering machine took over. She left a message in the voicemail box and went to the kitchen.

Later that evening, after Tifa went to the movie theatre with the kids and Shelke, they walked back home. The kids were talking about the movie they had watched. Tifa was silent as she thought about Cloud. She knew that she shouldn't keep worrying about Cloud's strange behavior, but she couldn't help it.

Tifa had asked Cloud to show up at the theatre because the kids wanted to have some time with him, but after waiting almost an hour, they had decided to just enter the theatre without him. Tifa knew that the kids were worried, but she told them there was nothing wrong and he probably had something urgent to do.

Halfway to the Seventh Heaven, Tifa saw Fenrir parked in front of the bar and the kids ran towards it. He's home, but why didn't he park his bike in the garage? Is he planning to leave again afterwards, she wondered. Tifa was in the doorway to the bar when she saw him with his duffle bag hanging on his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Tifa asked.

"Some place. I've got deliveries to do," replied Cloud without even looking at her face.

Tifa stopped him from walking past her but he winced. She could feel a lump form in her throat as the familiar choking feeling swarmed above her voice box. She could feel sadness slowing eating her heart as she saw Cloud stand by Fenrir. "How many days are you going to be away, Cloud? Two weeks?"

She saw Cloud stiffen as he took a breath of air. "I'm not sure. I'll be back before you know it."

"And where is this place you're planning to go?" She took a few steps toward him and placed a cold hand on his shoulder while looking straight into his blue orbs, but Cloud avoided her gaze.

Cloud shifted his feet, "I don't know yet,"

Tifa didn't know why she felt so angry, "Don't lie to me Cloud!"

"Damn it, Tifa! I have a job to do! And why are you trying to keep me here? You're not my frigging wife!" hollered Cloud angrily.

"Am I not your girlfriend, Cloud?" Tifa whispered softly, but loud enough for Cloud to hear.

"Let's just end this, Tifa. You deserve much better," said Cloud before he hopped onto Fenrir and started the engine. The engine revved up and before Tifa knew it, Cloud was already gone.

Shelke had taken the kids upstairs while they talked, and was now standing behind Tifa. Tifa was speechless. She realized that he was leaving. Cloud was finally leaving them; no Cloud was leaving her. She watched until Fenrir was gone.

No, I can't let Cloud leave me. Cloud, please.

Her tears were dripping down her cheeks. She couldn't take it anymore. Shelke watched her run after Cloud. She was running to stop Cloud from leaving her, but he was already gone. He was finally gone. Tifa couldn't stop crying. Her knees gave out, and she fell to the ground, crying hysterically. Shelke hugged her as she screamed.

Read and Review!