The Promise: A Tasuki and Miaka Love Story

By KittyLynne

Disclaimer: (Please insert the usual Watase Yuu/ Shogakukan Comics/TV Toyko/StudioPierrot/Pioneer ownership spiel in this space.)

Author's Notes: Italics within the story denote a character's unspoken thought. Spoilers for TV Series and 2nd Ova. Chapter Rating: T (Teen)

Chapter Ten: Startling Revelations

Miaka could only stare at the man in front of her while her mind reeled.

What exactly does that mean? Should I object or be happy?

Grinning, Tasuki let go of her chin. "Better close your mouth there, Mi-chan, or th' bugs might fly in!"

She obeyed, and then opened it again to ask, "Why?"

"Liked the way ya looked of course." His grin widened, then faded as he continued. "But it was this feeling you were somethin' special that made me decide. Th' moment I laid eyes on ya, I swear I could hear the old boss tellin' me, 'Genrou, ya just found an emperor's ransom in a beggar's hovel! Go with good fortune, and grab it!'" Amber colored irises burned with the memory. "An' that's what I did! You belonged with me, not Eiken. I wouldn't have given ya back even if he'd handed me the fan right then and there."

Miaka was sure her face was the color of a ripe tomato. With the way Tasuki phrased it, there was uncertainty on how to react, at least, not until she fully understood what was going on with him here. For now, the prudent thing to do was not to read too much into it, especially when she was aware that she already felt way too pleased over the admission that he'd been interested in her than he'd let on.

She had to get this under control. It wasn't fair to Taka and their relationship.

"You know, I just realized that was the first time you ever saved me!" She said brightly. "With Eiken having your tessen, there's no telling what would have happened to Hotohori, Nuriko or me if you hadn't confronted him and gotten me out of there. Thank you for that!" She attempted to bow, but was stymied by Tasuki's hand clapping down on the top of her head.

"I can't accept thanks for me actin' selfish." Though his tone was gruff, his fingers lingered in her hair, rearranging a few strands before it fell away. "If ya don't mind, I think I'd like to keep walkin'. How 'bout it?"

He held out his arm to her once again, and Miaka accepted it with bemusement, barely heeding the change in direction as her fifth seishi steered her towards a path that stretched to the farthest end of the garden as she mulled over what had been said.

'He's a star of Suzaku, so of course he'd have felt an instinctive attraction to the Priestess, and the desire to protect her. She reasoned silently. But... didn't he also say I belonged with him? Doesn't that imply that his feelings for me were more personal than just duty? Could he still be feeling that way now? ' Her heart leapt with pleasure at the thought before she stomped down hard on the feeling. 'Why be happy that Tasuki has those sorts of feelings for me? If I let myself feel anything for him, it would mean hurting Taka. But it might not even be that way. I think he's just saying he noticed me, it's a compliment and that's all.'

Or was it? It didn't make sense why something like that would have weighed so heavily upon Tasuki. Did that mean there was more to it? She wanted clarification, but what she really needed was to redirect the conversation. If she instigated a round of bickering, she could deflect her curiosity and keep herself from making dangerous assumptions.

"Tasuki, remember telling me at the hideout that you really disliked females and that they were pains in the backside?"

She intentionally made the question abrupt, and she had a moment's satisfaction in seeing she'd caught him off guard. But there were no fireworks in response, only a good- natured smirk.

"Yeah, I seem t'remember sayin' somethin' like that."

"Why would you want to keep me around when you felt that way?"

"You were cute." He replied with disarming candor. "An' you were different- but in a good way, mind ya- brave, real spunky an' fiery. You were interestin'. Liked that."

"That's hard to believe considering the way you ranted at me that night!" She argued, determined not to get sidetracked by the compliments.

To her chagrin, he laughed. "With damn good reason, as I recall! First ya hollered at me right after beltin' me like an outraged virgin, but when I backed off, ya started chattin' away, an' strippin' me down without even battin' an eye! Talk about yer mixed signals..."

As he slanted her an unrepentant grin, she had to bite back a hysterical urge to laugh. Where was the usual annoyance and bluster that he'd always exhibited in the past during their verbal sparring matches? This Tasuki wasn't irritated or irritating. He was having fun...and she was the one getting all flustered, dang it!

"You know very well I was looking for your Seishi mark." She stated with dignity.

"Mmmm-hmmm."

"I was!"

"If ya say so." The ex-bandit drawled. "It was still pretty forward of ya, don't ya think?"

Despite knowing it was a bad idea, she rose to the bait. "It may have seemed so, but my intentions were honest and totally innocent..."

He was grinning.

"...whereas you kidnapped and tried to French kiss me, despite saying I was one of those troublemaking females you didn't like!"

Tasuki was still grinning. "Yep, and ya do make trouble, that's for sure." He said, then added quickly before she could take offense, "just what d'ya mean by a 'French kiss'?"

Miaka looked to the winding path ahead of them. It seemed that Tasuki was just as determined not to get into a argument as she was to start one. His stubbornness was a match for her own, and that meant her bickering defense was an epic failure. She sighed. "It's..um... a casual term for a special kind of kissing."

Was it totally illogical for her to hope that talking about something even more awkward and embarrassing would put some breathing space between them?

"C'mon, ya gotta explain it better! Why's it called that?"

Illogical. Totally and completely.

"Because it's a special kind of kissing." She shrugged with forced nonchalance. "What more is there to explain?"

"Lots!" Tasuki shot back. "What's French? What's special about it?"

He was finally getting annoyed. But instead of relief, all she felt was disappointment and disgust with herself for picking a fight just because she was defensive about her homones getting the best of her. She was to blame for bringing up the subject, and there was no reason for her not to answer any of his questions. What was the harm in talking about it, anyway? They were adults now, having an adult conversation. And it wasn't like he was asking her for an actual demonstration or anything...

"It's a term that comes from a country in my world called France, which is known for romance and romantic liasons, and said to be the place where that kind of kissing originated." She began, trying her best to sound as if she were giving a lesson at school. "A French kiss is done with open mouths, which allows the tongues of the people who are kissing to touch in ways that are considered to be pleasant. It's an indicator of passionate feelings, and that a couple wants to get more intimate." She paused a beat. "And I'm stopping there, as I'm sure you don't need any instructions on that."

It was deliberate provocation, and she knew it, but when his wolf-like eyes fixed upon her in an unblinking stare, she still found it disconcerting.

"What makes ya say that?"

It was shameful to continue, but her darker side egged her on. She gave a little laugh. "You're kidding, right? You're a man of the world, handsome and personable, you're a celestial warrior and hero known for your bravery. You've been a frequent guest in the Imperial palace, plus you've been traveling all over Konan! You must have had plenty of opportunities to get together with- "

She stopped short, appalled at what she'd just been about to ask, and shocked at the strength of the feeling that prompted it.

"Ya mean women?" He asked.

For once, her most expressive seishi was giving her no visual clues as to what he was thinking or feeling. Her gaze dropped from his as she reminded herself that she had no right to object to him being with other women. "Please disregard that, okay? I'm only teasing, but still, it was a rude thing for me to say and it's really none of my business."

"If you're asking, it's okay." Tasuki said. "And my answer is that I know enough to know gettin' somethin' like that is worthless if you ain't gettin' it from the one ya truly want."

He looked calm, but there was something in his voice that suggested a lot was going on beneath the surface.

"So kissin' is a pretty serious deal for girls of your world, am I right?" He added.

"Yes. A romantic kiss-especially the first one- is a really big deal." She agreed. "We want it given out of real feeling...because once it's given, a kiss can never be taken back."

"Ah." Tasuki said. "An' ya definitely don't want it from someone who scared you into it."

She didn't pretend she didn't understand the reference. "I wasn't scared of you, but I did want to let you know it wasn't okay to take liberties with me!"

He smirked. "Nothin' personal, just teachin' some manners?"

"Precisely." She confirmed.

"I gotcha. But with me manhandlin'ya like that...ya musta thought I was just like Eiken, right?"

Tasuki's voice was still teasing, but his sudden avoidance of her eyes gave him away. She knew that this was not an idle question.

"I would never, ever, ever compare you in any way to that poor excuse of a man!" She exclaimed with enough force to draw his gaze back to her. The look she gave him was both reproachful and tender. "Baka Tasuki, after all we went through, after all you did for me and our cause...and you really still don't know how much I respect and admire you?"

A silence fell, punctuated by the sounds of nature and the shuffling movements of their feet.

"Don't admire me."

Startled by the harshness in his voice, she stared at him. "Yes, I think I should."

"No, ya had it right. There's more to what you should know. I was not th' good guy! I would have taken a kiss, an' tried for more that night! Just because I didn't go through with it ain't an excuse! Gotta thank Suzaku that ya knocked some sense inta me!"

"You wouldn't have done anything to hurt me." She protested. "You were bluffing."

"Was I?" Tasuki said bitterly. "You're the one t'be admired, Miaka. Because you defended yourself, ya kept me on th' right path. If ya hadn't, who knows if would have stopped at a kiss? After that, ya wouldn't have been able to trust me or my intentions once you found out who I was. An' how could I have joined up with the Suzaku Seven afterwards an' expected them t'trust me? There's no way they could have trusted me around ya, which means Chichiri wouldn't have taken me to Kutou to save ya from evil Tama! It means I wouldn't have been there to rescue ya from Hikitsu's ice serpents, or to save ya from drownin' that time we fell into Konan's Big Pond of Wisdom! But even after knowin' that, I still almost blew it! I could have ruined everything, dammit- "

He stumbled as she yanked him to an abrupt halt. After regaining his balance, he stared down at her with the irritation she'd been hoping to elicit from him earlier. "What?"

"We're talking about Kahou now, aren't we?" She asked. "That's what's really been weighing on you!"

His reply was to shake her hand off his arm and turn away. Undeterred, Miaka reached for one of his rounded shoulders and laid her hand upon it, wincing at the way his muscles bunched and tensed at her touch. She gripped his shoulder more tightly, determined to keep the connection. "I have always had complete faith in you and always will! You are the bravest, the truest and the most loyal friend I've ever had! Why won't you believe me?"

Her hand was dislodged as he pivoted to face her. The look of quiet desperation on his face sped up her pulse.

"I believe ya mean that. That's not th' problem."

She tilted her head back as he moved closer. "Then tell me! No matter what it is, I won't change my mind about you! I swear to you!"

He took hold of her shoulders, keeping her from getting closer. Sensual awareness arrowed through her at the controlled fierceness in his fingers as they curved into her flesh. Then suddenly, his powerful hands were spanning her waist and hauling her upwards until her eyes were on a level with his.

Open-mouthed and speechless, she hung in midair, her sandals gradually slipping off her heels to dangle at the ends of her toes. His eyes were intense, though his lips had relaxed into an odd little half-smile."Ya want to know that bad?"

Her hands rose, hesitated, and then moved forward until her palms were resting upon a warm, silk covered chest. She looked down at them, silently marveling at the muscular hardness beneath her splayed fingers, and the steely, unshaking strength of the hands and arms that held her in place. Her gaze trailed up the column of his throat, briefly rested on his lips, and then finally met his as she answered his question.

"I really want to know. Tell me."

Time seemed to have ground to a halt. The air around them was thick with emotion.

"Tasuki, please." She almost whispered the plea. "Don't shut me out. Whatever it is, we will deal with it together!"

A muscle moved in Tasuki's cheek, and his eyebrows lowered over eyes that had gone dark.

For a heart sinking moment, she thought she'd lost. But his capitulation came abruptly, and in something close to a growl.

"The problem is that Hikou's dead, so there's no blamin' th' asshole for my wanting to be with ya that way now!"

Staying true to her word, Miaka didn't move as she was lowered to the ground. Her hands remained on his chest to steady herself, because it felt as if an earthquake aftershock was rumbling through her.

Tasuki wasn't looking at her as a sister or friend. He had acknowledged, of his own free will, that he wanted her as a woman. As that realization sunk in, her heart overflowed with forbidden emotions and thoughts she'd been harboring about the ex-bandit. Words of affirmation that she felt the same bubbled to the surface, but the impulse to blurt them out was tempered by the pain of what doing so would mean for Taka.

Wanting Tasuki meant rejecting what she'd thought was her one and only love and the comfortable future awaiting her in the world she called home.

Confessing to having those feelings meant changing her destiny and abandoning the idea of having only one true love.

To act on them meant starting over, and having to get to know someone with no guarantees of marriage, family, or a happy ending.

She cursed herself as fear of the unknown stayed her tongue.

Despite his determination to confess, Tasuki's heart sank as soon he'd gotten it out. Though she hadn't run away, Miaka's cheeks were stained a brilliant pink and her lips and eyes were round with astonishment, her expression looking much the same as they had been that fateful night he had pushed her down on a bed and restrained her as he first told her he saw her as a woman.

Everything had changed...and yet nothing had changed. She cared about him as her friend,admired and respected him as her guardian. But she would never need and love him in all the ways a woman needs and loves a man. The way she had loved Tamahome...and then Taka.

Fine. He would just have to deal with that. Even if her rejection was going to hurt, he actually felt better at not having to pretend while making sure she was warned.

"Ya see, Mi-chan, it's like this. Three years ago, I was havin' a real hard time figurin' out an' puttin' a name to th' strong feelings I have for ya." He told her. "Because I didn't get it, an enemy was able to exploit me. Because I thought I didn't have to answer for them, that's why he got the best of me. I understand it now, and I'm telling ya about it to make sure it ain't possible for anyone else to come along an' mess with us...like Hikou did...in th' future."

He stopped talking, turned his head, looking at a point somewhere over her shoulder as he waited for her reaction. When several seconds had passed and Miaka remained silent, he gave in and chanced an apprehensive glance at her.

To his amazement, there was no sign of shock or dismay on her face; instead her brow had wrinkled, as if she were puzzling over some great mystery.

After a few moments of apparent reflection, she spoke in a tone so soft he had to duck his head to catch what she was saying.

"May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you figure out your feelings, I mean, what the name was for what you felt?"

Despite his discomfort, he had to grin. How like a woman to focus on a detail like that. "Yeah."

She waited, then sighed when he didn't elaborate. "Would you tell me?"

He couldn't help teasing her. "Baka! It ain't obvious?"

"Not to me." She said, her eyes wide and solemn. "You're really good at keeping secrets when you want to."

He was both pleased and chagrined that she was clueless. "Well, I don't see that it matters. The important thing is that nothin' bad will come of it."

She wasn't satisfied with that answer, it was written all over her face, but she surprised him by declining to press him any further on it. "Then I guess this is when I finally get to tell you my thoughts on that night." She said. "I'm glad I've had time to think about what to say to you. Are you ready?"

Well that wasn't much a reprieve, Tasuki thought glumly. "I'm always ready." He said, the boast sounding flat as he did his best to ignore the sinking sensation in his stomach.

"For me, that night was proof that you were truly my warrior and that nothing could ever keep us apart."

He hadn't been ready for that, or being shaken by the impact of her gaze. The depth of warmth and tenderness in it was unmistakable, and made it impossible to maintain a façade of calm. He stared at her, his heartbeat filling his ears and pounding out a heavy rhythm against his chest as she continued.

"As far as I'm concerned, only good things came from you that night. The reason you fell under Hikou's evil influence was because you cared about me and how sad I was feeling and you wanted to help me. The bad things happened when he was manipulating you... your feelings were being used against you. I understand how that works, because the same thing happened to me once when Taiits-kun put me in a situation where I had no control over my dark side. Essentially, it took over my body. I was a prisoner in my own mind, powerless to act while watching myself do awful things I never thought I'd ever be capable of."

He nodded, thinking it described exactly how he'd felt while Hikou was controlling him. "Nuriko told me about that, said ya damn near died from stabbin' yourself with a pottery shard so ya could keep th' evil Miaka from hurtin' Tama, Hotohori and him. You knew sacrificin' yourself would stop it an' you did it."

"And that is exactly what you did to stop Hikou!" Miaka asserted. "Warped as it was, it was a test of character, and you aced it! Hikou never thought you would overcome your dark side by putting other lives before your own life!" Reaching out, she placed a hand over his. "It wasn't the first time you chose to make that kind of sacrifice for me. You saved me, defended my feelings, then sacrificed yourself in Kutou when I asked you not to hurt Tamahome. You went to my world, fully prepared to die to save me. That's why you will always have my complete trust, Tasuki. Ever since you first showed me your seishi mark, I've felt blessed to have someone like you as my guardian. You are my knight in shining armor...my hero... my savior. And getting this chance to tell you all of that makes me incredibly happy."

And she was. It showed in her glowing expression. He was transfixed.

Her voice faltered a little then as she added, "and if you're doubting how I would have felt about you if you had completely lost yourself to Hikou that night, know that I would have stayed and done anything and everything it took to take you back from him. "

Tasuki was trying to form a response but the words wouldn't come out. In the end, he simply engulfed her in a hug that conveyed everything he wasn't able to say.

Closing her eyes, Miaka returned the hug, while committing everything about him and the moment to memory; his spicy scent, the warmth of his breath as he buried his face in the curve of her throat and shoulder, and the press of his mouth and his nose against her skin. He felt good, and it felt right to be in his embrace. How could this be denied?

As Tasuki lifted his head and rubbed his jaw against the curve of her cheek, she sighed deeply, feeling his almost painful embrace breaking through the last barrier around her heart.

When at last it gave way, her hidden feelings gushed forth, bringing with them an onslaught of tears.

Her seishi raised his head in alarm as the first drops made contact with his skin.

"Fu-" He bit off the expletive as his eyes searched the watery depths of hers. "I made ya cry again!"

She drew in a shaky breath, trying desperately to get control of her raging emotions. "It's okay…"

"It ain't!" He snapped, as her voice caught on a sob. "I hate to see ya cry!"

Though the intensity of his regard set off a pleasant fluttering within her, she tried to turn away to spare him the sight of her distress, but he wouldn't have it. Hands took a firm hold around her upper arms, denying her the chance.

"I...I'm so sorry that you've been badly hurt on my account." She bowed her head.

Tasuki heaved a deep sigh. "Ah hell, Miaka! Is anything worth doin' ever easy?" The question was softened by the tender humor in his voice. "I need ya to look at me, okay?"

As she complied with his request, she was transfixed to see the pain in his eyes. Her heart constricted at the thought that she had caused it. He didn't know how she was feeling about him, yet he'd been honest about his feelings.

"There, that's better. " He said, reverting to the all-too-familiar brotherly tone that she suddenly hated. "Thanks for the nice things that ya said, it means more than I can tell ya. Now that you know how I got feelings for ya, I feel like you're gonna be safe. And if there's one thing ya can do, it's not to feel sorry for me. I know that Taka is the only guy for you, and I accept that. But I also know I'm gonna say things to get you to agree to stay. And I don't want to make you sad."

'No.' Miaka thought, seeing in his eyes what was coming next. "Don't.'

"So, I was thinkin'...it's safe enough here for you with Grandma and Chiri-I'm thinking that maybe I should take a little time away. Let ya take it easy and let things settle in, you know?'

Tasuki was trying to do what he thought was best for her and Taka.

"Where would you go?" She asked in a very quiet voice, feeling her thoughts and emotions merging and building to a crescendo.

"Not so far I can't get here quick if I'm needed. Could even stay at Reikaku while you're makin' up your-"

"I want you to stay!"

Her sudden outburst shocked the wing seishi into silence. He looked on with a stricken expression as fat, fresh tears trembled on the ends of her lashes and spilled over onto her flushed cheeks.

He didn't understand that crying brought release from guilt and apprehension and the intolerable idea of saying goodbye.

It also brought the fortitude to speak her mind.

"Going away is not what's best for me, Tasuki- it's what's easiest for you!"

"Are ya kiddin' me?" He dropped the reasoning tone and was close to shouting. "It'd be the hardest damn thing I've ever done!"

"Why? I'm fine with everything you said!"

"Taka sure as hell won't be!"

"It isn't his decision to make, it's mine!" She was shouting too. "And I want you with me!"

His eyes were hard. "I'm not gonna be a substitute."

As quickly as her anger had ignited, it was gone. "I don't want one."

"Then why won't you let me leave?"

There was only one response to give. She knelt and pressed her forehead to the ground. "Because I need you, Tasuki. Will you please stay with me?"

The birds singing in the nearby trees went quiet, seeming to hold a collective breath as they waited with her for Tasuki's reply.

"Dammit." He said in a low voice. He pulled her to her feet, and once again, his hand lifted to wipe away the shine of tears from her cheeks. "All right. Fine. I'll stay for as long as ya need me. So don't cry anymore...an' we'll forget about all this, okay? Things will be just like they used to."

He made a credible attempt at a smile, but the obvious effort intensified her desire to set everything straight. It was just like Tasuki to try and protect her and deal with everything he was feeling by himself, but this time she couldn't let him. It hurt to know that he was ashamed of what he felt for her. It hurt knowing that after all he'd been through for her sake, he was willing to deny himself access to those feelings. It hurt to think that accepting that denial meant a lifetime of wondering how much better that life might have been if she hadn't been too scared to take a risk.

She'd been restless and hurting ever since she'd last left the book, but not understanding the source of her discontent, or the reason she felt incomplete. This was why Taka had been adamant about her keeping away from the scroll. Somehow, somewhere in the last three years, he must have sensed that the bandit seishi was part of something in her that was a threat to his plans.

Everything had clicked into place. She understood her feelings and accepted them.

'I've fallen in love with you, Tasuki. I hope you and Taka will be able to forgive me for that someday.'

"Miaka? Will you say somethin'?"

"Thank you for agreeing to stay. It makes me so happy." She paused, then added, "but I"m afraid I can't agree to those terms."

His eyebrows lowered. "Whaddaya mean?"

"It would make me very, very unhappy to ignore your feelings."

His frown smoothed away. "That's a nice thing t'say. But there's no need to worry about it, it's okay-"

"You don't understand." She interrupted. "I don't want to forget! I don't want things to be the same as before!"

He looked confused and frustrated. "So what do ya want from me?"

She smiled. "For starters, I'd like you to help me correct a big mistake I made on the night we met!"

"Mistake?" His brow furrowed.

"I should have let you kiss me."

Tasuki released his hold on his priestess as if his hands had burst into flames.

She was joking, right? Just yanking his chain for old times sake? She couldn't be serious...

...but one look at her face told him that Miaka was completely serious.

His gut clenched with excitement, and he gritted his teeth. He had to put a stop to this. "That's fuckin' crazy talk!"

"It's the simple truth." She argued calmly.

He yanked his free hand through his hair, making the strands stand on end before they flopped back into place. "You're supposed to be shoutin' an' runnin' away from me! I'm Tasuki, dammit! TASUKI! You're not supposed to say that kinda stuff to me!"

To his astonishment, she gave him a wobbly grin. "Anyone ever tell you you're really cute when you're mad?"

"No! An' quit tryin' to distract me!" He ordered, dropping his arms and struggling to hide an answering smile. "It don't make sense, dammit! Why? Why are ya sayin' this stuff?"

Her gaze was unwavering. "Because ever since I last left, my heart has been saying that you could be my future. I just wasn't ready to listen before."

Tasuki sucked in a breath as the miraculous words ricocheted through his brain and a surge of adrenaline jolted him. All of his faculties were on high alert but the powers of speech and movement deserted him as Miaka took a small step toward him.

And another...

...and yet another.

She was so damn close. His resolve to keep his hands to himself was weakening badly. He forced himself to croak out a protest.

"This ain't right! You-"

He stopped protesting at feeling the curves of a delightfully scented body being pressed against his, Arms encircled his waist, and a sweet smelling auburn mass of hair snuggled into the curve of his shoulder. Just a hug- even if she felt too good in his arms to resist- hell, just a hug was okay between friends, wasn't it? His arms lifted and followed her lead, closing around her petite frame in the brotherly manner he had adopted the day before. He preferred to hang on to that little illusion for now, even though the emotions driving this embrace were as far from platonic as they could get.

He tried again to make her see reason."Miaka...c'mon. You're all confused an' upset! It'd be takin' advantage..."

"I'm not confused or upset." She countered with firmness. "And you're not taking advantage of me. I'm completely aware of the consequences for saying that I feel far more than friendship towards you."

"I ain't so sure about that! I don't think ya realize what you're in for! I'm not th' easiest guy to live with, an' you're..."

"And I'm not all sweetness and light, I know." She grinned. "But we've toughed out being together before, remember? Yes, there was some head butting, but as I recall, we had mostly good times."

"Huh. Yeah." He half-smiled. "Even when we were fightin'... those were th' best times, Mi-chan."

She squeezed him tightly. "I think we're two of a kind when it comes to admitting things...it was a whole lot easier to lie and say I don't feel the kinds of things I do for you. But how could I ever live my life without regrets if I did that?" Raising her head, she regarded him with eyes holding hope and defiance. "I'm here with you, not Taka. We've been given an entire month together...we could use it to explore where a new kind of relationship will lead us...or not. It's up to you. "

The bandit seishi tipped his head back and exhaled a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding.

'Suzaku! What th' hell should I do? Tamahome was my friend, and Taka is too… but if Miaka would happen to choose me instead… No! No, I can't think that way! He met her first, they were meant to love each other! It's dreamin' t'think she's gonna end up with me...but still, I can't help wantin' it to be me! Taka, I'm sorry. I may be your friend, but I'm a man too, dammit!'

"Tasuki."

The sweet voice entered his thoughts, gently commanding his attention. "Y-Yeah?"

"Do you know what I'm wishing right now?"

He looked down. Miaka's smile was tremulous, and her eyes held a glow that he never thought would be for him.

"Um...n-no..." He stammered, feeling the blood heating in his veins as her gaze lingered on his lips. "What are ya wishin', Mi-chan?"

Warm, fragrant arms slowly slipped from around his waist and moved upwards to curve about his neck.

"I'm wishing...that I could remember what your mouth feels like."

He swallowed convulsively as he felt her using her forearm as leverage to urge his head closer to hers.

"Miaka, this ain't a good…oh shit...y'have to stop, dammit! You…you're playin' with fire…" A half-hysterical laugh erupted at the unintentional joke.

"I've told you before that you don't scare me!" She retorted, her expression alight with humor. "And you know what else?"

He was afraid to guess. "What?"

"Neither does your…fire."

In an instant, the laughter lurking in her eyes had transformed into a look of poignant yearning. For control's sake Tasuki had to look away from her in that moment, the sound coming from his throat in response to her rash behavior falling somewhere between a laugh and a moan. She was feeding the flames of passion within him, even as his conscience was sternly reminding him that it was wrong for him to pursue Miaka, that she had belonged to one of his closest friends, which meant he should distance himself and keep his passion for her under permanent wraps.

"Tasuki...would you please kiss me now?"

Her nearness and soft-voiced entreaty were relentless in chipping his wall of reserve. With his heartbeats echoing in his ears like thunder, he turned his face to the tempting sight of thick eyelashes dusting rosy cheeks as Miaka lifted her face to his in a sweetly obvious offer. Gods, but she was beautiful...the only woman he'd ever held with love. Every part of his being was silently screaming at him to accept her invitation, yet he still wavered, his unquenchable love for his priestess and other, baser impulses warring with a sense of disbelief and guilt.

Agonizing seconds ticked by as he fought to maintain his composure. He might have won the battle in the end if the woman in his arms hadn't chosen that precise moment to treat him to a tantalizing glimpse of her little pink tongue. Instead of turning away, he found himself watching in fascination as the tip emerged to moisten her lips, while the modicum of self-control his guilt had given him crumbled down to nothing.

'What th' hell am I doin'? I've been dreamin' about this for three fuckin' years! Why can't I enjoy it? I'll have somethin' nice to remember after she comes to her senses...'

Miaka's lips curved upwards as she felt long fingered hands slowly sliding down to the small of her back, a signal of Tasuki's intent to comply with her wish. She drew in a swift breath as those fingers fanned open and pressed lightly into her flesh, then let an incoherent sound escape as her warrior pulled her tightly against him. For a minute he did nothing more, letting the chest to thigh contact and endless seconds of anticipation add extra fuel to their mutual need.

Keeping her eyes closed and her face upturned, she savored the sweet expectant rush within her loins; a rush that turned to liquid heat when Tasuki lowered his head and smothered her moan of gratification with his mouth.

His kiss contained every bit of the boldness and passion she had expected from him, and an exquisite tenderness that she had not. His coaxing lips wooed her, then sent fire licking through her veins as they nudged hers in a demand for more intimate access. She complied, wholeheartedly welcoming the tongue that delved into her mouth to court hers as Tasuki's hands roamed over her back. In response, her own hands lifted to the back of his head so she could slide her fingers into the soft flames of his hair.

With a sigh and a murmur, Tasuki deepened the connection. He might not have known about French kissing, but he was going to make sure she thought he was damn good at it.

As his tongue's thrusts grew increasingly erotic, Miaka clung to him, matching each swirling stroke. Every nerve ending she possessed had come to pulsating life, feeding on the latent desire she had harbored for her seishi, and all the sensations his touch invoked. With a quiet moan, she gave back as good as she got and the kiss went on, growing hungrier and more insistent by the second, until kissing no longer seemed enough. She wanted… needed... to feel more than his lips and his hands upon her.

She moved so that her pelvis pushed against his, telling him in the unspoken language of lovers that she was leaving all her inhibitions behind.

A low-pitched growl burst from Tasuki's throat as his desire was stoked to new heights. His hands sought the crests of her hips, pulling them forward and urging Miaka to continue the movement. He made a sound of satisfaction as she granted his wordless request, and then held her hard and close, reveling in the rhythmic undulation. His senses were filled with the pleasure of her; her scented warmth, the sweet, arousing sounds she made, the taste and sleekness of her tongue rubbing against his, and the softness of her perfect breasts pressing into his chest.

And still, despite the longings those things engendered, the seishi of fire found himself holding fast to a last scrap of control. Embracing and putting their lips and tongues together was all right, but that was all.

Then again, he was only human. As the seconds ticked by and their mouths continued to mate, he gradually allowed the remnants of his good intentions to float away. His stance began to loosen and widen. Not long after that, his hands sought out the swells of Miaka's bottom, lifting her into an even more intimate position against him. Her thighs parted and he pressed forward, taking great satisfaction in the feel of her heat and the sounds of her gasps and urgent, throaty moans. His wildest imaginings hadn't even come close to this feeling. There was no shame, no awkwardness, no fumbling and no resistance...just a mutual sense of giving and a deepening need for completion.

The fear is gone, he thought hazily. She wants this as bad as I do.

At the realization, his yoku blazed with renewed life and his need grew steely with purpose. Yet somehow his brain was still stubbornly sounding an alarm, telling him that she was also fast approaching the point of no return and that he'd have regrets if he pushed her past it.

He'd been a fool to think that he'd ever be satisfied with one kiss and her friendship. He wanted all of her, body, mind and soul, always and forever, and knowing that meant he had to immediately end the kiss. If he didn't, he'd end up laying her down on the ground and burying himself to the hilt, an impulsive, fleeting act which could result in ending things before they started. He wouldn't repeat his past mistake of thinking that giving her pleasure with his body would ensure a claim on Miaka's heart. She deserved much more from him than a tawdry little romp in the grass. Hell, he deserved more, considering the torment he'd suffered while thinking his feelings for her would forever go unanswered!

Struggling to keep those thoughts at the forefront of his mind, his hands gripped the sides of her waist and began to ease her away from him. Despite his strong resolve, her sharp cry of denial as their mouths lost contact was like a shot to the gut. When her eyes opened, the glow of arousal in them just about brought him to his knees.

"Why are you stopping?" She asked with fierce urgency. "Don't stop!"

He resisted her efforts to pull his face back down to hers by clamping his arms around her and resting his chin on top of her head.

"I got to! If we keep kissin' there can't be no stoppin'!"

Miaka said nothing more. With a shuddering sigh, she laid her head on his chest and gave him a gentle hug. They continued to hold one another, letting their breathing slow and their passion ebb, wanting to stay in the embrace as long as they could. Once they faced each other, they would have to face the fact that everything had changed between them. There was no turning back; the boundaries of friendship had been breached for good.

He thought, 'I let things get outta hand. Hope she ain't sorry now.'

She thought, 'he didn't want to keep going. Does he regret it?'

As they drew away from each other, the wing seishi's gaze was drawn to the kiss-swollen lips of his priestess. He'd lost count of how many times he'd seen them in that state, but this time was a huge difference. This time he'd been the cause, and he couldn't deny the rush of primal satisfaction brought on by that knowledge.

As Tasuki continued to stare at her, Miaka reached up to touch her mouth with unsteady fingers. Two fangs appeared in a slow smile.

"Ya know, it's a lot more fun kissin' ya when you're conscious, sober and willin'!"

She blushed and laughed a little. "I suppose."

His smile disappeared. "Ya sorry now?"

"Absolutely not!" She looked indignant, then uncertain. "Are...you sorry you did?"

"Not on your life! It was amazin'!"

"Of course!" She declared, rather smugly. "I always knew it would be!"

His smirk was pure machismo. "Oh yeah? How's that?"

"Because you're amazing," she said, lifting her head from his chest to see pleasure flash in his eyes and a faint red dusting his tanned cheeks at her praise. Then they were gone, replaced by the clenched jaw resignation of a man about to perform an unwanted task.

"What is it?" She asked.

"What are we gonna do regardin' Taka?" 'I'm not lettin' you go without a fight!' His eyes added silently.

"That's a decision I've been putting off for too long." She looked down, her fingers idly tracing the intricate embossing on the leather strap that crossed his chest. "I have something I should tell you about him and me. I think you should know before I...we..." Her face was a crimson red. "I mean, it might make a difference in how you think of me…"

Calloused hands framed her face, and then tilted it upwards so that she was looking into watchful amber eyes.

"I don't think so." He said quietly. "What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "Up until a few hours ago, I thought that marrying Taka was my only possible future. If I had had any idea that would change…that I would be here...I might have waited to…to...be with him. But even so, I won't and can't regret what I've already shared with him, nor can it be changed, taken back or forgotten. Can you...could you...accept that I have loved him like that before you?"

She didn't look away, but it was clear she desperately wanted to do so. Tasuki forced himself to keep his expression bland. It wasn't something he wanted to hear, and he'd have been lying if he said he didn't want to have been her first. But only a moron and an asswipe would reject her for not being a virgin. What she had done was done out of the purest kind of love and that made it okay in his book. The only problem he had was with the guy who took her and hadn't made her happy!

"You becoming a woman by Taka makes no difference in how I feel about ya, Mi-chan." He said, stroking his thumbs along her cheeks. "Ya love him, and it was that way...hell, it was destined to be that way after all the sacrifices the two of ya made t' be together!"

Buoyed by relief at finally being able to give voice to all of the misgivings that had plagued her for many months, Miaka let her words and feelings flow. ""Maybe it was... then. But as time has passed, my views have changed on destiny. Starting college was like having another world opened to me, and it made me question and think about things. I could see the problems in my relationship with Tamahome that remained with Taka. We were talking, but not communicating. And I realized that all along I'd been blindly following a man as he pursued his goals, instead of achieving my own."

Tasuki bowed his head. After all Miaka and Tamahome had been through, it was amazing that something this simple could cause a rift.

"I never thought I'd ever hear ya say that about Tamahome." He murmured.

Her smile was rueful. "Me too! It was like a dream come true for me to have won the heart of someone so extraordinary, especially since the guys in my world didn't know I existed."

"They musta been blind or a buncha real dumbasses." Tasuki growled.

"Thank you." Miaka said, giving him a warm look. "It's funny, though...as hard as it was to say goodbye to all of you that first time...doing that made me realize I was much stronger person than I had been and that I would have been fine if I hadn't met up with Taka..." Her voice drifted off.

"Now that was a dream come true, huh?"

"Yes! It was a wonderfully happy shock! But it was awkward too. Something was different. It was sad that he didn't seem to want to remember being Tamahome and wasn't interested in us having been together before in a different world. "

"I remember he had a problem with Tamahome when you guys came back here." Tasuki commented thoughtfully. "It's why he left when we were fightin' Tenkou. It's pretty damn hard to compete with a memory, let alone a memory that had god given powers." He shook his head. "Gotta say he did a helluva job in overcoming that, though."

"He did, and I was so proud! You helped him become one of you...as much as Tamahome was. He felt accepted, and that you all were his friends. That's why I have a hard time understanding why he's trying to sever my ties to the men who had fought so hard for us! It was like ripping my heart out, not to mention it being a very heartless and ungrateful thing to do!" She lifted her hands and let them fall.

Soot colored eyebrows drew together. "Sever ties?"

"Even before he was brought back to fight Tenkou, he was having issues with any kind of discussion, reference or writing about Konan. I wanted to make him happy, so I told him I'd locked away my diaries, and the pictures and momentos I had of all of you and would never speak about my time here as priestess again, unless he was the one who brought it up."

"He forced ya to do that?"

"No, it was all my idea." She said honestly, her heart lurching at his stricken expression.

"So then...ya really wanted to forget about us?"

"Not wanted! I would never want that! I...I just...sort of pretended to Taka that I did...and had. So that he wouldn't worry so much." She explained weakly.

"Yeah, okay. So did things get better? Was he happy?"

Tasuki clearly wasn't pleased, but he was trying to understand things rather than go into a rant. Reassured, she answered at length. "He seemed to be until Tenkou came calling and he had to deal with the whole identity issue. I felt so helpless...I couldn't do anything but watch him stuggle to accept his memories! But when he did and joined with me to help the gods destroy Tenkou, I thought we had finally overcome everything."

"You two moved heaven and earth t'save us." Tasuki said quietly. "I'll never forget that moment, Mi-chan."

"It happened because the love of our friends gave us the strength to do it!" She asserted. "You were all so supportive of Taka...and you, Tasuki…through it all, you were always there for him...and defending me and my feelings no matter the cost to yourself."

He half-shrugged. "When ya care a lot about someone, ya wanna do whatever ya can to help 'em."

She smiled. "And that's one of the things that's so special about you."

His look was a mixture of pleasure and annoyance. "So special ya tried like hell to forget me?"

"But that's the thing...I tried, and couldn't." She admitted shyly.

The fanged grin was back. "You're just sayin' that."

"I'm not!" She insisted. "For the last three years I haven't been able to get you out of my mind! I missed the others too, but there was more with you. When I thought about you, I...well... " She stopped, flustered by his wicked grin. "I must be crazy for wanting to be with the guy who was always picking on me and yelling at me and telling me how much trouble women cause and that he couldn't stand them!"

He pinched her cheek lightly in retaliation. "Hey, I had to do somethin' to save my hide! If Hotohori an' Nuriko an' Little Ghost had found out I was hot for ya, they woulda beat the holy livin' crap outta me and kept Mitsukake from healin' me up again!"

"They wouldn't have done that!"

"Yeah they would if they ever saw how much ya could get me worked up! Had me some pretty good dreams back then..." He smirked at her red-faced astonishment, then turned serious as he added, "'Course, then I was too young an' dense to figure out it wasn't just that part of it."

Miaka looked at him wonderingly. What if I had known? Would things have gone that differently? "You treated me like a pesty kid sister."

He chuckled. "Well, yeah! What else would I do? You made it pretty damn obvious that the guy was your whole world an' it was clear that no woman existed for him but you. And it was okay, all of us wanted you and Tama to be happy together." His head bowed for a moment, then lifted to reveal a gaze burning with conviction. "But Tama hasn't kept his promise. You haven't been happy."

Before she could say anything, he grasped her left hand and held it up. "Even so...he's my friend...and I hafta say I can't be with ya like that while you're still wearin' his ring. Us doin' stuff on the sly ain't fair, and it makes a mockery of what this ring means!"

Her eyes welled with tears. "Oh Tasuki."

"I wanna use th' time Grandma gave us wisely." Her seishi continued solemnly. "You're the one who's gonna have to make it all for real. It's your choice t'make...but I think it ain't fair to keep Taka in th' dark while you're decidin' where ya belong."

Miaka nodded slowly, looking abashed. "I should have resolved things with him before I kissed you." She said quietly. "Like you said earlier, trust is so important in any relationship. By all rights, you shouldn't have anything further to do with me, or at least be telling me to go to hell for putting you in an impossible spot, being disloyal, and-"

Her self-recriminations were stifled by the very firm pressure of his lips.

"That's the last one, because no one is goin' to the hot place unless I send 'em there!" Tasuki declared after relinquishing his claim on her mouth. "Look, Mi-chan... ya couldn't have said anythin' to Taka when ya didn't know Suzaku was comin' for ya, and that you an' I were gonna end up here." He took hold of her shoulders. "It's wasn't wrong to be honest with me about how ya feel, as long as you're honest with him about it too. Until you can tell him, it ain't gonna be easy for us. But we can do it."

Miaka's smile was a gift, as was the warmth of the hand she placed over his. For the moment, both of them ignored the gleam of the ring on her finger. "You're a really good man, Tasuki. " She said softly. "Suzaku and I are so very lucky to have you!"

His downcast profile and hidden smile spoke of latent shyness. "Would ya mind tellin' Taiits-kun that sometime?"

They were laughing when they heard Chichiri calling their names.

Tasuki heaved a sigh as he looked over to the doorway where the monk was standing and waving at them. "I guess it's time, huh? Well, let's go to your world an' get the brotherly inquisition over with." He released her, but kept possession of one of her hands, tucking it firmly into the crook of his arm.

She laughed at his sour expression. "What is this? I thought you were looking forward to meeting Keisuke!"

"I was until ya 'frenched' me!" He grumbled. "Hard to look him in the eye when I'm thinkin' about that!"

Miaka laughed, and then stole an admiring glance that took in glorious red hair, a handsome profile, and the hypnotic way the ex-bandit's earrings swayed as he walked.

"Don't be concerned." She said. "It was only yesterday that my brother gave me a lecture about how I should start leading my own life."

Kouji, the fearless and dashing leader of the Mt. Reikaku bandits, awakened to a darkened room- a good thing, given the massive pounding taking place inside his skull. After a few seconds of rapid blinking in order to focus his vision, he put a hand to his head and groaned.

'Genrou, you asshole! Ya just had to do it to me again, didn'tcha!'

Cautiously and ever so slowly he pushed himself upright, careful to take a short pause whenever when the room threatened to start spinning. As soon as he was sitting position, he turned to the nightstand beside his bed in search of ground up herbs that he'd requested from a traveling physician as a surefire hangover remedy, and for which the bandit leader had paid handsomely.

That would have been an unthinkable notion in the old days, but now that the regiment had earned 'war hero' status, Kouji had prided himself on setting a higher standard of conduct for himself and his gang. A grateful local populace had responded with a proposal that offered enough tribute to ensure that the men of the Stronghold were well fed, watered, clothed, and equipped with medicine and other supplies. In return, it had been agreed that only the corrupt and those who were a menace to the innocent would run afoul of the Reikkaku bandits. No one was getting rich on the deal, but at least no one was killing or being killed. There'd been enough of that in the war.

To his dismay, the small jar of herbs was nowhere to be found; in its place was a small scroll, on which the characters of his name had been carefully printed. The bandit leader reached for it, groaning as the lateral movement set the room spinning again. Once the scroll was safely in his grasp, he gingerly lowered himself back onto his pillow with a grimace, then unrolled the parchment and began to read.

Kouji,

Miaka's coming back. I'm staying with her for as long she needs my help. If there's time, Chiri an' me will bring her to Reikaku, so ya better have the stinkin' hellhole whipped into shape. The kitchen and dining hall get scrubbings, and the outhouses too. Wouldn't hurt to remind the guys about acting proper around a lady- some of them ain't careful about how they talk or airing out their privates.

Let's give her our best this time, right? Chiri will visit you as soon as we know what's going on.

See ya, be good! (Haha, remember when Miaka told us that!)

'G'

P.S. I swiped th' headache herbs. Anyone stupid enough to try outdrinkin' me is gonna pay the price.

As he finished reading the postscript, Kouji cursed loudly, then grimaced and covered his eyes with his arm, wishing with his entire being that sake didn't exist. Still, in spite of the headache, his stubborn brain was laboring to process the information he had just read.

He would do everything his friend had mentioned, of course. It had been obvious to him from the beginning that his best buddy had been taken with the Priestess of Suzaku in a big way. Apparently the cute little brat's absence and the passage of time hadn't quashed those feelings at all; Genrou's excitement at being reunited with Miaka shone through every character he had printed on the scroll.

'If that guy is outta the picture, Genrou can make his move.'

The bandit leader's smirk grew pronounced as the seed of an idea germinated. It would take a lot of doing, but if the guys helped out it would get finished in time. That notion was soon joined by other matchmaking strategies, but they were quickly put them on hold when the throbbing in his brain began to intensify. Grimacing and muttering profanities, Kouji turned onto his side and pulled his blankets completely over his aching head.

Exciting as his plans were, they'd have to wait until his mental processes had recovered enough to flesh them out.

To be continued…