"So Poseidon's gone."

Zeus just had to state the obvious, didn't he? "I know that! I can see!" I said. My voice betrayed how upset I really was. I silently cursed myself. "We were too busy arguing and didn't notice. Do you realize how horrible that makes us look?" Zeus nodded, collapsing into a chair. "It seems every time one of us was taken, we were not paying enough attention. We really are quite selfish beings."

"Is this my fault?" I asked. "It was my turn to... plan things, I suppose. But more than that; I'm the eldest brother. Shouldn't I be able to protect my family?" The room was eerily silent, save for the occasional gust of wind outside. I didn't realize how much I appreciated being around my family until one by one, they disappeared. I didn't want to avert my eyes from Zeus, our youngest brother. Not even for a second. Capable as he was, if Poseidon could get taken, there was a chance any of them could.

Though, as much as I hated to admit it, Zeus wasn't as bad as everyone thought him to be. "It's not your fault, brother. Whoever decided to ruin our night, the one taking our siblings, it is their fault. Not your's. Do not think for a second that you have brought this on us." He spoke softly. I pursed my lips, looking down at the red carpeting.

"Hold on." Zeus said, his eyebrows scrunching together. He stood up and looked around, his hopeless expression turning to one of determination. "What are you thinking?" I asked, standing up as well. I knew that look. Either Zeus was onto something, or he smelled pizza. The former seemed more likely, at least in this situation. "Have you thought of a way to find them?"

"Perhaps," was all Zeus responded. He still looked on edge, as if debating to run or stay put. I slowly moved closer to him. "Does this house have a basement?" Zeus asked, catching me off guard. Without hesitation, I nodded. I could always tell when buildings had an underground structure. It was part of being the ruler of the ultimate basement. Zeus grabbed my hand (He and Poseidon were so touchy, it made me gag) and pulled me to the hallway, trying each door before he found the one leading to the basement. He dragged me down after shutting the door behind us.

"Would you like to explain why we are in a basement?" I asked, trying to adjust my eyes to the dark. Zeus found a light and used his electrifying powers to get it to work. When the room filled with light, both of us screamed and hugged each other. Sitting in the corner was a human skeleton. "Wait," I walked over to it and knocked on it's head. "Oh. Nope, it's not a Halloween prop. It's real."

So that's why this house was abandoned.

Zeus and I stood as far as we could from the skeleton. "I didn't want to be overheard. I have a plan." For a couple minutes, we discussed the plan. It sounded both idiotic and clever, and it could work if we timed it right. And if Zeus learned how to act. "So are we set?" Zeus asked, his hand on my shoulder. I nodded once, heading up the stairs. Zeus followed, not wanting to be alone with the dead guy. "Stay inside," I reminded. It sounded good, in case anyone were listening. Hopefully no one was watching.

I began walking to the door until Zeus called, "Hades?" I looked over my shoulder, giving Zeus my best comforting smile. It probably looked like a grimace, but that wasn't my concern. "It'll work." I assured. "But if it were not to, it's not like I'd let them take you, brother."

Zeus nodded. "Careful out there, Hades." I grinned and continued out the door, bending the shadows to conceal me. Then I let out a scream (Didn't mean to startle the birds) and dove into a bush. From there I watched as Zeus came running out. "Hades?!" He yelled. His blue eyes were wide with fear. Either he was a better actor than I thought, or he was really just that terrified. "Hades?" Zeus called again, this time with doubt in his voice. "Hestia? Hera?"

He dropped to his knees. Zeus ran a hand through his hair, getting it out of his face. For a few moments, nothing happened. The snow continued to fall and the wind blew just as hard. Then the wind died down. I noticed a lone figure standing a few yards away from Zeus, almost concealed by the amount of snow falling. However, they stood out considering they were dressed in all black.

The stranger walked closer, keeping their head bowed. But as they got closer, I realized a few things. One, it wasn't a man. The curves betrayed her. Two, her shoes were small, so she wasn't the only one in on this, considering the larger footprints.

And three, I knew exactly who it was.

I stood up and removed myself from the bush. "Fancy meeting you here, Persephone."

After the initial shock wore off, Persephone decided to pull her hood down. Brown hair cascaded down her shoulders and she looked relieved to be free. Zeus was also on his feet now, glaring at his daughter. While I didn't necessarily approve of him looking at her like that, I was refraining from doing the same thing. "So, would you like to explain yourself?" Zeus asked. Persephone shrugged, obviously miffed at getting caught.

"I got bored, so I invited some friends over. We thought it'd be funny to crash your party."

I looked at her in disbelief. Partly because her idea of crashing a party included kidnapping, and partly because I didn't know she had it in her. I was both proud and irritated. But more worried. "Who else is involved in this?" Zeus demanded. I coughed. "More importantly, where are those you've taken?"

Persephone shrugged. "Oh, they're around! Once we told them what was going on, they all thought it was funny and joined us." My jaw dropped, and I was comforted by the fact Zeus's did too. "Even Hestia?" I asked, shocked. Persephone nodded. "Even Hestia." Right on cue, Hestia skipped over and gave Zeus a hug. "Sorry, brother! But it seemed like so much fun!" Zeus looked conflicted, but decided to pick Hestia up and hug her tightly. "I'm glad you're safe." He said.

Then Ares came over with Hera and Demeter. Ares had a bruise on his cheek, but he was smiling otherwise. "Hey dad, you're looking shaken up." Zeus glared at Ares, but then sighed and pulled Hera into a hug. I winked at Demeter. "So who got you, Ares or Persephone?" Demeter rolled her eyes, pulling Persephone to her side. Persephone groaned. "Ares. Who do you think gave him the bruise?" Demeter replied.

"She hits hard." Ares noted.

"What do you expect?" I asked, "She spends her time lifting bags of soil."

"Uh, we're still missing someone." Zeus noted. I realized he was right. "Where's Poseidon?"

Then we heard the most obnoxious noise. I winced, looking around to find the source. I saw Poseidon come out of the shed along with someone else. His trident was banging against the rake, the two having a full out sword fight- if you could call it a sword fight. "You'll never take me alive, Aphrodite!" Poseidon cried. Aphrodite laughed and tried to swipe under his feet. "Fine by me, Poseidon!"

Ares sighed, staring over at Aphrodite. "Isn't she perfect?"

"It's not polite to stare, Ares." Hestia said.

"Yes, Aunt Hestia."

"So this is strange and vaguely uncomfortable. So this whole time, Persephone, Ares and Aphrodite kidnapped all of you as some sort of joke and we're all just...? You know what," I groaned, putting my hand to my head. "I also brought the movie The Emperor's New Groove. Who wants to watch?"

"Me!" Hestia yelled, looking extremely excited. "Er, Hades, first things first. We should find a new place." Zeus interrupted, his voice soft.

"Why?" Hera asked, puzzled.

Suddenly I realized why Zeus wanted to steer clear of this place. "Oh yeah, somebody died in the basement and they're still there."

Everyone blinked.

"So my place?" Demeter offered.

"Sounds cool," Persephone agreed.

So then everyone went to Demeter's cottage, no longer worrying about getting kidnapped or freaky skeletons. Ares and Aphrodite were cuddled up on the recliner chair, Persephone and I lounged on the floor together. Even Hera and Zeus sat next to each other! And despite Demeter throwing bits of trail mix at my head, it wasn't a bad night after all. Just a weird, terrifying, slightly insane one. But hey, we're the gods. Nothing's ever normal.

Though some questions were never answered, and might not ever be answered, such as...

Why is Poseidon so afraid of rakes?

A/N: So this was hilariously fun to write. Five chapters of pure idiocy! Thank you so much for-a reading my story-a!