Hello All! I know, I know. Ages and ages since I last update, but I have not forgotten these stories. What can I say? Law school, summer, preparing for a trip to France, and…writing a book :-). This chapter took me some time to write, but the next chapter is coming along nicely, and I hope to have it out to you soon (next week). Hope there are still some faithful readers of mine out there! Thanks so much to all those that have read, reviewed, and added this story to your list! You are what keeps me coming back to finish what I've started!

Side note: If you have sent me a message, my apologies for not responding to you. They redid the system on fanfiction and so all my messages were deleted in the process, which made me slightly angry because I do try and respond to everyone that sends me a message. If you still have questions or comments, feel free to send me a new message and I will get back to you as soon as I can :-)

Translation for this chapter is "Identity."

As the story turns…..

Chapter 6: Sha'es

Throughout the day all she could do was look at him, the memory of her dream still so vivid in her mind. He had to be aware of her eyes constantly watching him, but she didn't care. All she could see was him begging her to remember him.

Remember him. She couldn't wrap her mind around it. Her life was one surprise after another. Did he really know her? Was there something else about her past that she simply was not remembering? Could she handle any more memories being awakened?

While she couldn't explain it something inside her pulsated when she was around him. It was as if a new life had been reawakened in her. Something that brought meaning to her existence. This thought stopped her in mid-step.

Spock immediately stopped the moment he no longer felt her beside him. He turned to her and observed as she stared at the floor, completely lost in thought. What he would give to know what she was thinking. This woman was but a shadow to the one he knew before. Something about her had changed so drastically. She seemed so afraid.

But of what? He questioned himself.

Serenity's eyes continued to stare at the floor. She was supposed to be dead. She was supposed to die with Chaos. That's how it was meant to happen. So how did she end up living? How did she end up here?

She moved her hand subconsciously to her chest. Did her starseed bring her here? Her eyes lifted from the floor and immediately met Spock's intense stare. Her eyes, however, never broke his. They held onto his gaze, hoping to find the answer. She felt her emotions stir deep within her and she clutched onto the material of her shirt. She was so afraid. Why did she have to feel again? How could she? She was not normal. She was never normal. She didn't even know what these feelings were; all she knew was that they were amazingly strong.

Spock was frozen to the spot. He was unaware of what was going on within her, but he knew that it was something concerning him. Aside from obviously staring at him, Spock felt as if there was something within her calling out to him specifically, asking for help. He couldn't help her; he couldn't even help himself. After all that he's been through, he has still yet to learn how to express his heart.

Regardless of his previous decision to keep his distance, Spock couldn't control the feeling of hope that crossed his eyes when he began to see recognition in hers.

Is she starting to remember me…

"Serenity!" McCoy shouted down the corridor, breaking the trance between the two souls.

Spock had to bite his lip to keep from screaming at McCoy. His eyes quickly focused on the doctor, a hint of annoyance hidden behind them.

"Was there a purpose in the raised volume of your voice, Doctor?" Spock snapped. Serenity was a bit shocked by the change in his tone, but McCoy didn't seem to notice.

"Oh shut your trap you green-blooded hobgoblin." McCoy bit back, amusement behind his voice. Serenity reasoned that this must be their normal exchange. McCoy's eyes fell to hers. "I noticed you were heading in the direction of Medical Bay. I thought I may accompany you seeing as how I am the chief medical doctor."

"And speaking of being a doctor, shouldn't you be doing the job you're paid for?" Spock questioned. Now Serenity could hear the slightest bit of humor behind the Vulcan's voice.

McCoy shook his head. "Ignore him. He never learned the importance of having a social life outside of work." McCoy placed his hand on Serenity's lower back and began to lead her towards Medical Bay.

While Spock's face was as stone cold as ever, he was fuming on the inside. McCoy had the nerve to place his hands on his mate.

Spock blinked a couple of times at that last thought. His mate. He needed to stop himself now. He couldn't allow himself to think of her like that. His eyes focused on McCoy and Serenity making their way into the doctor's comfort zone. Spock reluctantly followed, more determined now to keep his distance from the girl.

Serenity observed her surroundings. Last time she was in here, she wasn't exactly in the best state of mind. It really was one of the most advanced medical facilities she had ever seen. Then again, she hadn't seen many because she never really needed medical attention.

It was quite empty, except for a few patients. Serenity's eyes fell on one man who looked as if death was written all over him. McCoy noticed where her eyes had wandered.

"Ah, cancer. Isaiah was exposed to heavy amounts of uranium while exploring an unknown planet. There's no hope for him. The cancer is everywhere." McCoy's voice was solemn. Serenity could tell it was difficult for him to lose a patient.

"He has a family waiting for him back on Earth." The doctor let out a frustrated sigh before his attention was turned to Chekov who had just walked into the room.

Serenity watched as McCoy and Spock became engrossed in conversation with Chekov. No doubt the subject concerned the Enterprise. Her eyes fell back to the dying man in front of her. She touched his arm gently, and when she was sure no one was looking, she cleansed his body.

Slowly, the dying man's heart rate began to increase. Silence fell in the room as McCoy's eyes were now fixated on the man. Spock, however, focused his attention on Serenity. She was standing beside the man and was looking down at him. He had a sinking feeling she was behind this.

Spock knew Isaiah's history. He had been on the unknown planet with him, but being half Vulcan, the uranium didn't affect him the same way. He was there with McCoy trying to find some cure, but it seems even after all these years there were still issues curing cancer, especially when so advanced. But here, before his eyes, this man's vitals were returning to normal, as if some miracle had occurred.

Serenity's eyes focused on the man long enough to be sure that the disease had left his body before her eyes quickly found his. The Vulcan was staring intently at her, and she soon realized that he was aware of her part in the instant healing of this man. She, however, ignored him and turned her attention to McCoy, smiling at his reaction.

"It's a miracle." She stated simply.

Before McCoy could even respond to her comment, Spock said "indeed" in a somewhat sarcastic tone before walking towards the exit.

"I believe that concludes your tour of the ship Ms. Moon. Should you require further information on the ship, Dr. McCoy is an adequate source." He made his way through the door, but not before Serenity could call out to him.

"And what of those books, Mr. Spock? The ones concerning Vulcan?" Spock stiffened at the question, but did not turn around. "They can be found in the ship's records" was his sharp reply before the Vulcan made his quick escape.

Serenity was left staring at the door trying to figure out what just happened. It seemed as if, with every passing second, Spock was pulling further and further away from her. His mannerisms getting colder and colder.

"Don't mind him." McCoy said, interrupting her thought process. "He's nothing but a pain in the ass sometimes." The doctor scoffed.

Serenity giggled. "You say that doctor, but I have some strange feeling that you would miss the dear Vulcan should anything happen to him."

McCoy laughed loudly at the statement as he started running some tests on his newly healed patient who was still unconscious. "You know, you're probably right, but you better not tell the green-blooded hobgoblin I said that."

Serenity laughed even harder at this statement. "Don't worry doctor, your secret affection is safe with me."

The Medical Bay was filled with laughter before McCoy asked in hoarse voice, "how many times do I need to tell you to call me Leonard?" A smile was written on his face as he stared at the beautiful girl.

"Leonard…Leo." Serenity said with mirth behind her voice.

Every trace that was on McCoy's face of a smile disappeared as he said in a very serious voice, "no, it's Leonard." His face was straight for all of five seconds before the pair was in another fit of giggles.

When they were finally able to catch their breath, McCoy's eyes fell on her face. He began to study it. She was absolutely breathtaking. Her cheeks glowed from all the laughter, as if it had been years since she had last laughed. Her eyes were the most amazing feature about her. While at first glance they may seem dull and lacking any form of sparkle, when you look deeply into them you see the wisdom, pain, and love that envelops her. They are a glimpse into the mystery that surrounds her.

McCoy blinked. He had never thought that intently on another human being, not even his demon ex-wife. What did that mean about his feelings for the girl?

McCoy could hear Kirk's voice in the back of his head talking about Serenity being the girl in Spock's past, but judging by his recent actions, it was clear that there was nothing there between them.

McCoy took a breath and decided to go out on a limb. "Would you like to join me for dinner?" He asked.

Serenity paused for a moment before saying "sure."

McCoy smiled brightly and she couldn't help but return the smile. She was happy. She enjoyed McCoy's company, but what she couldn't figure out was why his face was the first to come to her mind? Why not Mamoru? Or even Seiya? Why him?

This isn't right.

Spock quickly made his way to his private quarters to think on what he had just witnessed. He was no fool. It would be entirely illogical to think that after all this time that Isaiah was able to heal instantly. The only logical conclusion to come to was that there was something or someone else involved in the healing process. That someone else was more than likely her, and even if it wasn't, this is something that should be brought to the Captain's attention.

Spock paused. Could he really risk telling the Captain what he witnessed? Could he risk her getting left behind on another planet just so she can be transported back to Earth likely to never see him again?

But that's what you want, isn't it?

Spock blinked at that thought. Was it what he wanted? How could he, after so many years of searching for her, cast her away from him never to cross paths again?

There was a war going on within him. Why did he have to be a child of two worlds? Why must every decision he has to make with regards to his personal life be so difficult?

Spock's fist slammed against the wall. He wanted to scream, but he contained the urge. He knew he needed to report the suspicious activity to the Captain. He didn't have an option. It was his duty as First Officer. He needed to let her go. He needed to welcome his Vulcan heritage and let the emotions go. He didn't want to hurt again.

Spock made his way down to the cafeteria to receive his necessary sustenance for the evening. He wondered briefly whether she would be sitting at the table with the bridge crew, but his thought process was interrupted when his eyes fell on her and McCoy eating…alone.

A fire lit within him. His fist clenched as he tried to keep his face neutral. What did he care anyway if she was with McCoy? He wanted to forget her.

He wasn't in control of his body as he slowly made his way within hearing range of the two. He couldn't deny that he was exceedingly curious about their conversation. He justified his un-Vulcan behavior on the fact that he was still gathering information on the recent incident in Medical Bay concerning Serenity.

As he got closer to their table, he finally was able to hear what was being said, but what he heard caused him to stop suddenly.

Serenity was smiling and laughing in all the appropriate places. She was interested in what McCoy had to say, but her mind just couldn't stop thinking about him, and before she knew it, she was daydreaming….

"I hope you don't mind vegetable casserole, Serena." The dark haired woman said to the small blonde girl sitting at the table with a small black haired boy. Serenity had seen these children before, but the woman she had not. As she studied her, nothing at all seemed familiar except for one feature, her eyes, but Serenity couldn't place where she had seen those eyes before.

"Sounds good to me, Mrs. Sarek!" The girl stated with a grin.

The boy fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Vegetable casserole has always been acceptable before mother. Based on that there is no reason for you to think it would be unacceptable now."

"Oh Spock, I'm just trying to make sure our guest is comfortable. The food here isn't exactly known for its flavor." The woman said, cutting her eyes playfully at her son who seemed unaffected except for a slight smirk that appeared at the edge of his mouth. "I believe, mother, that Serena has become accustomed to the subtle flavors that can be found in Vulcan food."

"Spock." Serena said in a warning tone as she eyed the boy. "You know sometimes it is not cool to be like that."

Spock stared at her in confusion. "Like what?"

"Like a Vulcan, duh." She giggled and Spock's eyes lit up at the sound. The playful banter soon came to an end when a tall man walked into the room. Serenity held her breath. He looked exactly like Spock, but much more harsh.

The little girl looked towards the ground and kept silent, while the little boy seemed to sit taller in his seat. The man nodded towards the woman before he exited the room only to enter another one across the house.

When the coast was clear, Serena let out a sigh. "He hates me." She said in a gloomy voice.

The woman rushed to her side. "No he doesn't honey. Trust me when I say that he is grateful for your friendship with our son. The thing is he is just not use to conveying that. He is full Vulcan after all, so being pleasing to humans isn't exactly his forte, but he has his moments." The woman stared off into space as if to remember a fond memory.

"Mother, we do not need too much additional information on you and father." Spock's voice interrupted her thoughts as she blinked and blushed. She gave Serena a quick hug before she resumed cooking.

Spock looked to Serena. "While my father is not as sociable as I am…" Serena snorted at the comment, but Spock chose to ignore it "…he does not hate you. For one he does not have such emotional reactions, and two he was the one that wanted to invite you over the first time you came here. He also continually suggests to invite you because of the friendship we share and because it brings my mother happiness to have another human around."

Serena's eyes widened. "I never knew that."

"You never asked." Spock said with mirth in his eyes.

"Hey! That's my line." Serena hit him slightly as she smiled at him.

Serenity smiled at the interaction, but was taken aback when the boy's eyes found hers. "Don't you see? You have to remember Serena."

"I don't know what you're talking about. My name isn't Serena." Serenity said in a whisper. "I don't know any of this."

"Remember…"

"Serenity." McCoy's face showed concern as he tried to regain the girl's attention. Her eyes blinked a couple of times before she was finally brought back to reality. She blushed at being caught daydreaming.

"Forgive me Leonard. I haven't gotten much sleep lately." Serenity's eyes finally focused on McCoy's face, and she gave him a small smile.

"I'd imagine not." McCoy said returning the smile. "It must be a lot to take in. With the change in you surroundings, it would only be natural for your sleeping pattern to be affected."

Serenity nodded at his logic. "Yes. That and I've been having these strange dreams."

"What are they about?" McCoy asked out of curiosity.

Serenity adverted her eyes from McCoy's and stared at her food. She began to play with it before she said, "Leonard, do you ever feel that everything you've known could have been a lie? Have you ever felt like you were placed in one life but meant for another?"

Silence met her ears. She quickly looked up to make sure McCoy was still listening to her, but her eyes didn't meet McCoy's pale blue eyes. Instead they met very dark emotional brown eyes. The same eyes the woman in her daydream had.

"Mr. Spock." She whispered. He continued to stare at her before he gave her a curt nod in response. Silence surrounded them. McCoy's eyes switched between the two people, and he realized then that there was no hope in catching Serenity's interest. She didn't belong with him.

The silence stretched on before Serenity cleared her throat. "Would you care to join us Mr. Spock?" Before Spock could decline the invitation, his body on its own will sat down next to her.

His mind was reeling. What she had just said was similar to what she had said the day she left him. The day she disappeared in his arms. He couldn't think of anything to say. All he could do was stare.

Serenity blushed under his stare. She searched her mind for something to say. "So, Mr. Spock, you told me where to find the resources on the planet Vulcan, but I find that I would love to hear the story of the planet from an actual Vulcan. Would you care to tell me even just a little bit about your home?"

Spock paused for a moment before he decided to quench some of her curiosity. "There is not much to tell. It was a dry planet that inhabited people much like myself. Our race use to be one of emotion, but we turned from that way to one of logic to prevent all the violence that was happening due to our need to be emotionally driven."

"And here we go with the emotions." McCoy mumbled. Serenity smiled at McCoy before she turned her attention back to Spock. "No emotion. That must be incredibly dull." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Not at all. There is some satisfaction that comes along with one being able to control his carnal instincts." Spock answered before he continued with his description of Vulcan. "It was an older planet, much more so than Earth. It, however, was destroyed in an attack by a rogue Romulan." Spock's voice remained passive and unchanged as he relayed the events of the past.

"You speak of it so calmly. It was your home planet and yet no emotion enters even your voice when you talk about its destruction." Serenity stated almost offended by his lack of emotion.

"It is something of the past. There is nothing I can do to change it, and there is nothing gained by me dwelling on it." Spock answered quickly in defense.

Serenity shook her head. "While it is disheartening to hear that, I cannot think any less of you for it. I understand what it's like to lose a home and to become numb to its emotional effect." Her eyes stared off into the distance…afraid of meeting his.

Spock couldn't say anything. He was too busy wondering what was going on inside of her head. What was she talking about? What other life did she lead? What life was she meant for?

McCoy knew at this point his presence was completely forgotten at the table, but he didn't let it get to him. He was too busy enjoying the show. Serenity seemed to be getting under Spock's skin, and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it.

"I know you still feel pain though." Serenity continued. "It is clear in your eyes even if your voice remains so calm and unchanged." Her eyes found his face. She had to bite back a giggle as she saw he was slightly offended by her comment. "You shouldn't be angered by my statement. You display a lot of emotion in your eyes."

McCoy began to laugh. "Are you sure we're looking at the same pair of eyes on the same Vulcan?"

Serenity smiled as she continued to study the now frozen man sitting beside her. "While his mannerisms are very Vulcan, his eyes are very human. Strange. Are all Vulcan eyes like this?"

Spock stood up abruptly. It startled Serenity. She began to ask him what was wrong, but he had left before she could even get a word out. She looked to McCoy, both shock and anger written on her face at Spock's reaction to her statement. "What's his problem?"

McCoy sighed, almost embarrassed by Spock's behavior. He couldn't get over that the Vulcan would act in such a manner. Had she hit a nerve? He looked at the girl before he decided to tell her some information she might not have already known. "No, not all Vulcan eyes are like his. You see, Spock, well…" McCoy paused, wondering if it was his place to tell her, but he rationalized that she would find out eventually "…he's half human. His mother was from Earth."

"Haha! You can try and be as sneaky and clever all you want Spock, but I know what goes on through your head better than you realize." Serena giggled as she made her next move on the chessboard.

Spock's face did not change as he said, "I don't know what you're talking about. Besides, how would you be able to tell what is going through my mind when my own mother has difficulties in doing so?"

"Oh, I don't think she has any difficulties. I think you just believe she does, but in reality she knows you better than you probably know yourself." Spock's interest peaked at this statement and he stopped focusing on the chessboard. His full attention was now on the girl who sat in front of him. "Explain."

"Your eyes." She said with a smile. "They give away all those little emotions you try so hard to hide."

Laughter could be heard in the background as Spock's mother walked into the room. "Forgive me Spock, but that is a feature that you inherited from me." Serena's laughter joined his mothers, and Spock became slightly worried that his every thought was displayed on his face for all this time without his knowledge. As if answering his thoughts, Serena patted his arm. "Don't worry though, only the best of us can tell what's really going on behind those gorgeous eyes."

A green blush stained his cheeks as he made the next move on the chessboard. Serena's eyes began to sparkle. "Checkmate!" She moved her piece in the correct position and successfully beat the Vulcan.

Spock's mom clapped. "Haha! I do love your company Serena. It helps keep Spock in check, no pun intended."

Serenity smiled at the interaction. They all seemed so comfortable around each other.

Just then things began to shake. The ground began to cave in as Spock's mom's face lit up in worry. She reached out to her son, but there was no time. She screamed as the ground swallowed her whole. Her body falling into darkness.

Serenity shot up drenched in sweat. Another dream. Another damn dream about the same children, the same family, the same Vulcan. She got out of bed and began to pace the room. Why did she keep having these dreams? Why were they always about him? She couldn't ignore the coincidence any longer. She needed to talk to him about it. Maybe then she could get some decent rest.

But how was she going to talk to him about it? He was so emotionally constipated. Not to mention he had been avoiding her for about a week. Ever since she had made the comment about his human eyes. She had no idea he was half human, but she should have figured out that little detail through the dreams. The thing was, she didn't know how accurate these dreams were. Was she really the little girl? Did those things really happen?

She began to dress for the day as she thought of him. He frustrated her to no end. His lack of emotion and lack of feeling. She couldn't make sense of a culture that prized that. Sure, she had her on difficulty in feeling lifeless. She had difficulty relating her own emotion, but she was justified in doing so. If she felt too much it would kill her. What kind of pain had he, or the Vulcan race for that matter, gone through to just wipe out emotion. To just wipe out any trace of individuality.

Serenity stopped herself. She shouldn't make such assumptions or even think herself justified when someone else isn't. She didn't know the whole story. Perhaps if she did things would make sense. Perhaps if she did, she could find out who she really was.

They all gathered for breakfast as normal. Conversation was slow and consisted of the same chitchat that had surrounded this group of people since Serenity first arrived on this ship. She, however, was not focused on them. It did not miss her attention that Spock was not only ignoring her, but also everyone at the table. He was lost in his own world. She hoped that she would be able to get him alone to ask him about the dreams. That is if he would give her the time to do so.

After he had finished eating Spock cleared his place and headed towards the bridge. Not one word spoken. Uhura looked towards Serenity as if to enquire about the odd behavior. Serenity simply shrugged her shoulders as she continued eating.

Uhura and Serenity had begun to strike up a civilized friendship. It was nice to speak with another woman while being in the presence of so many men on board the Enterprise. Still, Uhura didn't get too close to her. Serenity related this to Uhura's feelings for Spock.

The two women cleared up their mess and began to head towards the bridge. They were laughing about the infamous Captain Kirk before Spock came out of the bridge. He nodded towards both of them before he headed down the hallway.

Uhura shook her head. "I don't know what you've done, but it's amazing."

Serenity looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The way he looks at you. I never thought I'd see him stare at another living creature the way he stares at you. It's as if no one else exists." Uhura gave her a sad smile before she walked into the bridge.

Serenity's eyes glanced down the hallway and noticed Spock getting in the elevator. She ran towards him, determined to get a moment alone. Just as the doors were about to close, she hit the button and was able to jump on with him. Her presence made him tense up, but he tried to pay her no attention. That is until she hit the stop button.

"Mr. Spock." Serenity began, but she was interrupted. "Is there a reason you have stopped this elevator? You are aware that I have work that needs to be done." Spock snapped at her.

Serenity stepped back from the man before giving him a glare. "Look, this will only take a second, and there is no need to be so rude." Spock said nothing in return. He simply stared at her as if asking for her to continue. Serenity was almost waiting to hear his foot tap to show his impatience.

"I've been having these…dreams. Dreams that just don't make any sense. I see you, but as a child." Spock hit the button, allowing the elevator to continue on its journey. "I am not a dream interpreter." He stated with anger in his voice.

Serenity hit the stop button again. "No, you're not, but these dreams are about you and I don't know why. Not only you, but also of me." She said in frustration, determined to make him listen. "We are children together on what I assume to be Vulcan. I would write it off as some coincidence, but I have them every night. Each night a new dream. Each night a different memory or what looks like a memory. I don't know how accurate they are or if they are just nonsense."

"That's exactly what they are, nonsense." Spock clipped at her, showing his discomfort of the situation. He hit the button once more. He had to get out of there. "It is not possible for you and I to have the same childhood memories. We clearly have never met before."

"Are you sure?" Serenity asked in desperation. "Is there something I'm missing?" The door to the elevator opened. Serenity didn't even notice that he had hit the button again.

Spock quickly walked out of the elevator. "Leave me alone, Serena." And with that he disappeared down the hallway, leaving Serenity to wonder what exactly he was hiding from her.

And there's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it, and I cannot wait for the next chapter. It shall be one hell of a chapter, or at least I hope. As always PLEASE REVIEW!

-Lizzy