Twilight Sparkle crashed into town square, where she quickly spotted Apple Jack selling homegrown heart-attacks with her little sister Apple Bloom.
"Well how-d-you-do, Sugar Q?" Apple Jack greeted as Twilight Sparkle galloped up to her booth. 'Can I interest you in some deep-fried caramel-covered extra-buttered apple turnovers?"
"I'LL TAKE FIVE!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, swiping her credit card through the reader as she snatched several turnovers on her way to Krispy Kreme.
"Apple Jack! This is urgent! There's a missile filled with weapon-grade Poison Joke headed straight for Ponyville!"
"Holy red-delicious-ravioli!" exclaimed Apple Jack "That's urgent all right! We gotta cover all the trees on Sweet Apple Acres before it hits so our entire crop isn't tainted! Come one Apple Bloom! Thanks for the heads-up Twigh!"
"Wait! There's more important things than-hurghh!" Twilight Sparkle shook her head and ran over to Rarity's boutique. "RARITY!" Twilight yelled as she pounded on the door. "Ponyville is in great danger!"
"Oh Darling, whatever is the matter?" A concerned-looking Rarity stepped out onto the porch "Is humid weather on its way? Oh that would simply be dreadful for everypony's mane. Not to worry Darling! Rarity has you covered as far as head-coverings go." Rarity magicked a peacock-feather covered sombrero onto Twilight Sparkle's head.
"No Rarity!" Twilight shook off the sombrero off her head "Hats off to you for the generous offer and everything, but this is much more serious than a bad mane day! A huge missile is on its way towards Ponyville and is going to spread weapon-grade Poison Joke powder everywhere!"
"My stars!" Rarity clasped her front hooves to her head "Oh why that is absolutely dreadful! I would only be able to leave the house in a hazmat suit! I would never be able to be fashionable and lovely AGAIN!"
"Um, Rarity? Not to say your concerns are selfish or anything but-"
"Oh dear Twilight my darling you're right, it's not just me, NOPONY will be able to leave home without a hazmat suit-THAT'S IT! I shall make the most fabulous hazmat suits for every pony in Ponyville! My sales will skyrocket and the ponies of this town shan't be wanting for fashion in this post-apocalyptic world! Just because it's the end of civilization doesn't mean it has to be the end of good fashion!" Rarity beamed as she pranced back into her shop.
"Aren't you at least going to try and polish the missile that way it doesn't get Ponyville dusty or something?" Twilight pled.
"That IS a wonderful concern Twilight-darling," Rarity replied "I'll send Sweetie-bell out to do it immediately." The boutique door slammed shut.
"OH!" Twilight clenched her teeth "Is there ANYPONY in this town with a sense of altruism?"
Then she spotted FlutterShy in the bushes dashing around frantically."Just who I need! Hey Fluttershy!"
"Oh, not now Twilight Sparkle! I'm sorry but I'm dreadfully busy gathering all the helpless animals into my backyard bomb shelter before that scary-looking missile overhead hits! Come little termite-colony, climb onto my hoof and I will run you to safety!" Fluttershy scampered off to rush the last of Ponyville's creatures out of the way of danger.
Twilight rolled her eyes "At least we'll still have household pests when we're all poisoned beyond all help. Spike! This is ridiculous! None of the ponies here take action! They're all too busy thinking. We need somebody to act NOW and save us."
"Like Rainbow Dash?" Spike suggested.
Twilight Sparkle's eyes widened "Of course!" she exclaimed as she face-hoofed herself before rushing off to Rainbow Dash's favorite napping tree.