"Well slap me twice and beat me with a butter churn!" Applejack exclaimed as she shoved the morning paper aside in frustration "I can't believe that they took Twilight in as a suspect too. I know they found her brewing the antidote to poison joke, but she was probably doing it to try to revive ole Dashie over there, not because she was part of some crazy conspiracy to throw the power structure of Ponyville and take control."

She shook her head and took a long drought of milk (at least the sonic rainboom didn't take out the cows) as Rainbow Dash started to wake up on the other side of the couch.

"Why ya-? Where is Flutter-?"

"Simmer down Sally," Applejack knocked her out again with another kick to the head. Kicks to the head and spiked apple cider had kept Rainbow pretty sedate the past couple of days. Good thing to, because everyone had seen what she could do to a barn.

"Poor critter," Applejack sighed with pity as she threw a blanket over her zonked-out pegasus friend. "Ain't none of this is your fault. Heck, you were just tryin' to save us all."

Applejack went back to searching through the classified ads for possible jobs she could take after the Apple Farm's imminent foreclosure until the sound of Rainbow Dash sleep-mumbling caught her attention.

"Flutter-Fluttershy...I love..."

Applejack blinked and then shook her head and shrugged.

"Well it ain't no surprise to me. I mean I've worked with apples all my life...I know a fruit when I see one. The only real question for me was which mare ya fancied, not whether or not ya fancied them. And I guess now I know, though I always had a feeling. Fluttershy huh? Wonder how that will work out..."

She was about to pick up the classifieds again-

"No Fluttershy! Don't marry Discord! Can you seriously see HIM as the father of your foals?"

Applejack snickered. The temptation to mess with Rainbow Dash's head was pretty strong, but would that be honest?

It's not lying, really, it's more like roleplaying. Like acting for a theatre. It's only harmless fun.

"Why Rainbow Dash," Applejack smirked as she put on her best Fluttershy impersonation voice "I would never leave you for Discord. You're the only mare who always captures my stare."

It took every once of willpower Applejack had to suppress her laughter.

Rainbow Dash's expression of horror changed to a silly smile. "Oh Fluttershy...I had no idea you felt that way. Not that it surprises me. I mean, I'm so cool they banned me from ice-cream island."

Applejack's eyes bulged out of her head and tears of hilarity were streaming down her face. Mother blinkin' Manehattan! This was priceless.

"Well uh..." Applejack had little experience flirting, but it seemed like Rainbow Dash had pretty low standards for sweet-talking. "You may be cool, Rainbow Dash, but you set my fluttery heart on all kinds of fire."

"Oh yeah? Well you drive me wilder than the Everfree forrest!"

Applejack was rolling on the ground in silent stitches.

Alright, where the hay is the sound recorder? This is more out of control than the time Granny Smith tried to smoke a parasprite!