Jay: (ahem) April 14...

Kaorin: NO!! Please don't read any more! I'll do anything...

Jay: Anything eh? (smirks)

Kaorin: Yes...anything... (hangs head)

Jay: Fine, I command you and Chihiro to construct me a penguin costume just like the one you made Chiyo.

Kaorin: ...what?

Chihiro: How did I get dragged into this!?

Jay: It's either that or I start selling copies of this diary at a very reasonable price.

Kaorin: FINE! Chihiro, let's go! We have a costume to make. ...but first untie me.

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Thus, Team Numbnut with Special Guest Sakaki began their battle plot.

"So, what do we have in terms of weapons?", Tomo asked.

"Well, here we have a five iron, a baseball bat, a crowbar, and a hockey stick.", Kagura answered.

"Think we should get armour?", Tomo said.

"Nothin' is gonna defend us against the alien mind waves! We just gotta do our best.", Osaka said.

"Good idea Osaka! Range of moment is important!", Tomo concluded.

"What if Katsu is..umm...really powerful?", asked Sakaki.

"His human form doesn't look that strong. We can overpower him!", Kagura said.

Sakaki nodded and picked up the baseball bat just as Tomo's mother entered the room. In her hands she held a baking sheet covered in tasty looking baked goods.

"I made some homemade taiyaki pastries for you girls.", she said with a smile.

"Moooooommmm! I told you not to interrupt while we're planning!", Tomo whined.

"Oh, that's right. You're going off to fight the aliens today aren't you? I'll just leave them by the door if you want them later.", Tomo's mother placed the tray by the doorway and walked back into the kitchen.

"Ok, do we have everything?", Tomo asked.

"I'm ready!", Kagura said.

"I'm ready too.", Sakaki nodded.

"U'm rebby doo!", mumbled Osaka through a mouthful of pastry.

"Then let's go!"

The girls picked up their makeshift weapons and made for the door.

"We're of to defeat the alien, Mom!", Tomo screamed.

"Have fun, girls. Don't hurt yourselves.", said Tomo's mother as the door slammed shut.

She went back to washing the dishes and mused to herself.

'Such nice girls they are. I wish I could still play pretend...'

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Kaorin took a shower that morning to refresh herself. She was happy, yet without Katsu around she felt a bit empty. Like a glass half full. She stepped out of the steamy shower feeling only slightly better. Wiping the accumulated water droplets from the mirror she stared at herself in it. She sighed because she didn't see how Katsu found her attractive. Sure, she knew all about how attraction should be 'inside' the person, yet that didn't clear her mind enough to think beyond the skin. Granted, she wasn't a terrible looking girl. She just considered herself 'average'. There was a list of things she would change about her appearance yet she never really got around to working on that list.

'Maybe I am alright...'

Thinking through all of this she almost forgot that Katsu was coming to her house that day. Quickly, she dressed and made herself tidy. Then she sat in her room and waited. Indulging herself in a romance manga until she heard the fateful knock. She bounded to the door and all her cloudy feelings were swept away.

"Please, come in...", she said, a blush quickly spreading across her face.

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Huffing and puffing 'Team Alien Sea Slug', as Osaka had dutifully named them, ran down the winding streets of Tokyo's suburbs towards the Aida household.

"Why are we running? Who knows when he's gonna show up!", Kagura complained.

"Well, if you were an alien and had seduced a girl to suck her brains out, wouldn't you show up as soon as possible?", Tomo explained.

Kagura thought for a moment before saying, "Ohhh... I get it!"

"It's just up ahead!", Tomo said as they reached the final stretch.

The house came into view. No one was around so the group pressed themselves up against the nearest side wall and planned their approach.

"Ok, Kaorin's window is the next one over. So, Sakaki I want you to peek inside and give a thumbs-up if everything is alright. Give a thumbs down if something horrible is happening. I want to plan the attack to catch him off guard. Kagura go check the front door, I hope it'll be unlocked.", Tomo said.

Kagura took of but returned a moment later to report that indeed, the front door was unlocked.

"Excellent, all goes according to plan.", Tomo cackled quietly.

"Plan, eh?", Kagura said nervously.

Sakaki silently trotted over to the window and quickly peered inside. They other three watched as her mouth dropped open, her face blanched and sh gave a rapid thumbs down.

"Ok! Through the front door! Be prepared for battle! We can do this!", Tomo told the others as they rushed forth like guardian angels.

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Jay: Ok, just for reference, this isn't going to become a sort of Kaorin porno, so just bear with me.

Kimura: KAORIN PORNO!?!?!? WHERE!?!?!?

Jay: (throws a bone) Over there!

Kimura: (scampers off)

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"Are you sure we should be doing this, Katsu-san?", Kaorin asked, beginning to sweat.

Katsu simply looked her in the eyes and smiled.

"Of course, Kaorin-chan. You are the one for me.", he said as he pressed his kisses further down her nude body.

Kaorin let a content smile cross her now-red face.

"You're right, Katsu-san. This is what we should be doing."

"Just one more step Kaorin-chan. One more step and our relationship will be complete.", Katsu said, unbuckling his pants and downing the zipper.

"Of course, Katsu-san. I am ready.", Kaorin said with a wide smile.

Katsu leaned closer to her, grasping her body and letting every inch of them touch.

'This is it...I'm so happ...', thought Kaorin.

"NOT SO FAST, SCUMBAG!!", came a shout after the door swung open with a loud impact.

Tomo quickly vaulted onto the bed, raising her five iron high and following through on the side of Katsu's skull. A sickening crack followed as Katsu fell bleeding to the carpet below.

Kaorin screamed and covered her naked body with a blanket. She continued to scream as Katsu stood up.

"How dare you!", he accosted the intruders.

"Back off, alien scum!", Kagura challenged.

"This is the last time you shall interrupt me!", Katsu screamed as his eyes took on a wispy shade of green and his skin seemed to stretch to accompany new muscle tissue. The front of his shirt tore to reveal a mystical circular symbol engraved across his chest in bloody lines.

A strange feeling overcame Tomo. When she had arrived she would have bashed his skull in, yet now she felt wave after wave of fear. She was fighting the extreme urge to run.

"You die now!", he roared in a scratchy, high pitched voice that was definately not his before the door behind the four saviours slammed closed and no matter how hard Osaka pulled, the door would not budge.

Katsu tore across the room at Tomo, deflecting her overhand blow with his forearm. Turning, he let loose a brutal punch to her midsection that sent her careening into a wall. She slid down, gasping in agony.

Kagura came behind him, swinging her crowbar with incredible force. When the blow landed atop his skull and didn't seem to even distract him, she turned a lighter shade of her natural brown skin tone before being thrown bodily into Kaorin's nightstand, knocking digital clocks and books everywhere.

Osaka even tried to assault him to no avail, she screamed in terror and waved her hockey stick uselessly before being brought to the ground by a bone-shattering punch to the ribcage. She fell coughing up blood on the off-white carpet.

Sakaki was the last standing, holding her baseball bat in a pseudo kendo stance. She narrowed her eyes and glared at him, as if to read his soul. This time though, he made the first move. He tried for an overhand punch, but Sakaki moved quickly to duck under. She twisted low, turning so as to send a wicked bat blow across his left ribs. She felt the bones give way.

Katsu coughed and retched.

"Stupid bitch...", he sputtered.

Sakaki grimaced as she brought the bat upward and directly into his face. Bone splinters and blood spattered the bed and her. Katsu was sent tumbling back, his face a ruin. He lay on the ground, gasping for a moment before his breathing stopped.

Kaorin had been screaming the entire time, but now she stopped and settled into a fair bout of hyperventilation.

"HowWhyKatsu...How..I...I...I...", she sputtered nonsense as Sakaki walked over to her fallen companions and made sure each was in fair shape.

Tomo arose and seemed to only have a headache and a few cuts. Kagura was covered in bruises and lacerations but seemed to be alright. Osaka, after a few minutes of catching her breath, seemed to only have a few cracked ribs.

"It could have ended much worse.", Sakaki reminded her.

Thus, a rumble shook the foundation of the house. A sickening scent of sulfer entered their nostrils as Katsu's dead mouth began to emit an oily smoke. From that smoke formed a being. The being had a crooked spine and bend shoulders. Burning greenish eyes and horn-like protrusions around its head and middle back. It grinned a shark-toothed grin at the girls.

"So, you destroyed my host.", it spoke with the same high, scratchy voice as Katsu had earlier.

The girls were speechless before the terrible being. It simply floated a moment before contorting its face in anger and speaking once more.

"My seed was almost passed on! Although you have thwarted my efforts for now, Chomiel does not forget those who cross his path. Kaori Aida, Tomo Takino, Ayumu Kasuga, Kagura Hideyoshi, Sakaki Orosama,", he pointed a jagged, claw-like finger at each girl in turn, "beware. I shall return."

While the others cowered Sakaki stood, facing the ugly demon.

"We're not scared of you, Chomiel.",

"Don't be foolish, girl!", the beast cackled.

"I speak the truth. We defeated your host because we were not scared of him or you.", Sakaki said, her voice unwavering.

Chomiel smiled gravely before speaking his last words to the girls.

"If you say so."

The smoke then retreated, every bit of it entered back into Katsu's gullet. A moment later vast flames encompassed the corpse. Those flames dissapated as quickly as they came, leaving no trace that any body had lain in that space.

Kaorin shivered under the blankets.

"Explain...everything."

As the three injured girls tended their wounds in the bathroom, Sakaki explained what had occured concerning Katsu. She explained the original discovery. The dissappearing, the shadow, the chest holding at the theater, even the apparent mind control he had on Kaorin.

"Yes...I did feel..a bit odd around him but...it felt good. Like someone who cared..", Kaorin wept.

Sakaki held the girl close as she cooed her.

"You'll know when someone really cares for you."

Kaorin smiled, knowing exactly what that meant.

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"Yea, we totally kicked his ass!", Tomo shouted in the bathroom.

"Right on!", Kagura answered with equal enthusiasm.

They slapped hands as Osaka doubled over once more in pain.

"Oww...my chest hurts.."

"Oh yea, we should prolly bring you to the hospital.", Tomo concluded.

"We'll have to walk so...I'll go get Sakaki.", Kagura said and entered Kaorin's bedroom again.

Yet, she stopped short upon seeing the two girls in a tight embrace.

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Alright! Epilogue time! And for all of you being such good readers you all get a free Kaorin Fan Club T-shirt! (scatterd applause)

Kaorin: I have a fan club!?

Jay: Yea...me...umm...and umm...AR would probably join...and umm...

Kaorin: What a sad club...

Jay: (waves diary) Where's my penguin?

Kaorin: Coming right up, Sir!