Varli returns to his apartment not long after it starts. He does not call his mother or his brother or anybody else.
The guilt is indescribable, and he drapes himself over the toilet, retching and sobbing. They knew. Angrboda knew the whole time. Loki must have known something. They used him.
Maybe because they did not have the ability to do what he did. Maybe to keep their hands clean. Maybe just to amuse themselves at his expense. But they used him and he was the catalyst to ignite Ragnarok.
His stomach roils and he retches again, though there is no longer anything to produce, not even bile. He is hollow and empty. A vessel filled with nothing but the knowledge of how little say he ever had in his own life, and how blindly, foolishly he had played into their hands.
He wipes his mouth with icy, trembling fingers and forces himself to go to the kitchen and sip some water.
He is still trying to finish that glass of water when Jen enters. Unannounced, as she always has ever since he gave her a set of keys. "Jen, my love," he smiles weakly, not as relieved to see her as he should be. As he would have been, if somebody else had done what he did.
"Hey big guy." She smiles and kisses the top of his head. "You don't look so good."
"There is great turmoil in Asgard. I fear what might be happening." Which isn't exactly a lie.
She hugs him gently. "I'm so sorry."
He slides his arms around her waist and leans into her. "It is better with you here." Which is also not exactly a lie. His heart lifts to have her near. But the guilt pooling in his gut won't let him take much comfort in her.
"There's something you should know." Her voice is soft, there is a note of trepidation in it that is unusual for her. "And I don't know if it's a good thing or not or if I should tell you right now or not but dammit you need to know. And I promised myself I would tell you as soon as I got in so I wouldn't chicken out again."
He rubs her back, soothing her a little. "Speak. I will listen."
"I'm, um." She dips her head and presses her forehead to his shoulder. "I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."
He is silent a moment, unable to comprehend how rapidly the poles of his reality shifted again in so short a time. And then finds himself swept up in a wave of unexpected joy.
"Are you mad?" She lifts her head, worry clear in her eyes. "I mean I can try to get it taken care of but I'm not really sure if it would work…"
"I am not angry, my love," he whispers, not trusting himself to speak any louder. He strokes her cheek, unable to stop smiling. "This is wonderful."
She starts to cry in happiness and relief and he kisses her and holds her and for a moment, there is nothing but them in all the realms.