A/N: Hi everyone. Seems like I've been off the grid for a while (ok, actually I was). I have come to a decision of sorts that if I should venture into writing another chapter story in the future, I'm going to have it mostly written before I begin posting. I'm too much of a perfectionist to post before I'm completely happy, and that takes time, and then I hate making you all wait so long for an update! Regretfully for you I am still writing this one and while I hope to be a little faster with my updates I make no guarantees—I know where I want to go, but it's just taking me time to get there!
I want to thank all who have read, favorited, and followed. But I want to give a huge thanks especially to BJ2, MJ, westernsoul, guest, cassielyn, Caroll's Pen, help789, guest, and arlena ferrell for leaving me a comment or review. Thanks for encouraging me and giving me a reason to continue :) You guys are the best!
Anyway, on with the story—I really hope that you enjoy! Thanks for reading, and if you can, please leave me a note letting me what you think! I love hearing from you!
Disclaimer: Don't own the ones you recognize, just subjecting them to some good family angst. Sorry if this leaves more questions than answers-I'm getting there, I promise!
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The sunshine was dazzling, blinding his eyes in an overwhelmingly bright wave of white. It was so hot, and the slight breeze that seemed to whisper from behind him, blowing through his hair, felt cooling on his sweaty skin. The high-pitched voice called to him playfully, and he turned around, the smile on his own face reaching right up into his shining green eyes.
'Joe, come on! Hurry up! You're gonna lose!'
'Wait!' his voice caught in a laugh, and he started to run after the retreating figure in front of him. His small legs couldn't carry him fast enough, and by the time he reached the edge of the woods, the outline of the person in front of him had melted into the dark shadows gathering in the line of trees.
'Come back!'
Another ripple of laughter floated from the little boy's throat as he pushed deeper into the woods, his eyes darting back and forth mischievously as he looked for any sign of his now-vanished companion. His tiny body surged forward blindly as he continued his pursuit.
Suddenly, a cold wave of air crashed into the happy little boy, sending his forward progress to an abrupt halt, a stab of sudden nervousness coming over him. Leaning against a tree, Joe's bright eyes widened in fear as he realized just how far he had gone into the woods. He suddenly found it hard to focus as the dark shadows swirled around him, quickly swallowing up the remaining daylight. Another breath of cold air crashed into him, sending a shudder through his body.
'Is…is anybody t-there?' The little boy's voice quavered in the impending darkness, the laughter and lightness of only a few minutes ago completely gone. He stood tensely, squirming nervously in the lonely silence as he waited for someone to answer.
Whoosh!
The suddenly deafening roar of the icy wind sent him into a panic, and he turned around frantically. Instinct to escape taking over, he began to run, blindly, pushing deeper and deeper into the dark and foreboding woods. He only glanced back one time, his body shuddering in a frantic horror as the black shadows came rushing towards him, sucking away the remaining traces of leafy-green light.
His breath caught in his throat as he ran, and he stumbled forward, trying desperately to get away. His sight began to grow dark and his mind began to blur at the utterly wretched wave of complete loneliness that he suddenly felt. His breath hitched in ragged gasps from a lack of oxygen as he struggled to breathe, and the soft cry that escaped his lips sounded pathetic and weak.
'P-papa…Papa…'
Why did he say that? Why was he so weak? He was grown up now, why suddenly the little boy endearment? Wait a minute…Papa…Pa?
Where are you?! Why did you leave me all alone? Why, Pa? Why did you all leave me alone?
Running blindly, not paying attention to his surroundings, Joe's body was suddenly thrown backwards as he crashed right into something hard. Looking up with wide, panicked eyes, Joe was able to see that he had crashed headlong into the wall of an old shack, the sagging roof showing the building's age. A bright light was shining from the window, and even as another icy wave of air rolled over him, causing his body to shudder involuntarily in another bout of panic, a small stirring of hope suddenly found its way into his heart.
The shrill laughter behind him pulled him back from his momentary reprieve. No longer the playful voice that had called to him earlier, this voice's laugh echoed louder and louder in a maniacal intensity, causing his heart to thunder in his chest. Joe tried to push himself forward towards the door, instinctively knowing that if he made it to the door, there was safety behind it. Unable to breathe, his vision going black, he had somehow managed to drag himself to the threshold when suddenly an icy grip on his leg pulled him back, causing him to stumble and land on his stomach.
'No!' His voice hitched in a hysterical scream, and he tried to kick his feet in an attempt to break free from the icy hands that had wrapped around both of his legs, holding him firmly in place. 'No, s-stop! Lemme go! Please…p-please…'
The laughter only grew louder and more sinister as the hands refused to relent, pulling and dragging the terrified little boy away from the security of the building. Kicking and thrashing frantically, the boy struggled for all his worth, his heart stopping at the sound of a sudden hiss in his ear.
'Stop fighting, kid! No one's going to save you…'
Fright giving the little boy a sudden surge of adrenaline, he sucked in a heavy breath of the icy air and kicked his feet in a desperate final attempt to escape. He heard an angry scream and the icy grip released from his leg. Unable to think, he pushed himself up from the ground, scrambling in a frantic dash as the angry voice called out behind him.
'You can't escape, I'll get you!'
Joe ran blindly, his heart hammering as he struggled to suck air into his lungs. Too afraid to look behind him, knowing that the shadowy figure was right on his heels, he didn't realize that he had run out of the woods until he stumbled on an outcropping of rock. Sprawled on the ground, the terrified little boy looked up and his eyes met a wall of solid rock. Not even comprehending his actions, he jumped to his feet and began to climb desperately, pulling himself up, higher and higher off of the ground.
He didn't know anything except the frantic push to reach the top.
'It's safe up there…'
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He had to move, escape. The bitter medicine he'd drunk keeping the small boy trapped in the darkness of the nightmare, his body did the only thing it could do. His subconscious took over, and Joe's slight body began to thrash and push upwards off of the bed and through the empty room, away from his home, up to the top of the mountain. Eyes opened wide but not seeing, his mouth whispered the words as he started his climb.
'It's safe up there…'
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All he wanted to do was go upstairs and check on his little brother. The uneasy feeling that had begun when Hoss had left Joe's room to go downstairs only intensified as he and the rest of his family had discussed everything that had happened. His tender heart nearly breaking at the thought of something terrible having happened to Joe all those years ago, he had been unable to contribute much to the conversation. His stomach sick at the horrible realization that Joe's buried memories were terrifying him, Hoss resolved himself that if there was anything he could do to help his little brother, he would do it.
His father having given him permission to leave, Hoss had almost made it up the stairs when the loud knock had sounded at the front door. Something pulling at him to stop and wait, Hoss watched as his father opened the door slowly, Ben's confusion evident when the ranch foreman and a young cattle hand walked in. Sighing softly to himself, Hoss stood his ground on the stairs, waiting to hear just what they had to say while wondering what more could possibly go wrong.
As he listened to the conversation, Hoss suddenly found himself wishing that he'd just gone upstairs. His stomach twisted in a sickening knot as he watched the color leave his father's face. Hoss couldn't stop the tears that were filling his eyes as he watched his father tremble at the new information; it scared him to see his strong and confident father leaning weakly against the wall as he tried to maintain some sense of composure. Shooting a glance over at his older brother, Hoss could see Adam absently clenching his fists together. The rage he could see on his older brother's face at the words being spoken sent a deep chill through the teenager's body; it was a deep rage that he hadn't seen more than once in his life before, and it terrified him.
Hoss found himself staring at the young ranch hand that was talking to his father. The young man was visibly upset, sweat breaking out on his brow as he stuttered out his words in an almost painful fashion. Hoss's pale eyes wide and focused on the nervous face, his ears starting to tune out the words being spoken. He found he couldn't help the wave of sympathy he felt for the young ranch hand's awkward situation.
'Timmy Rawlins…'
Adam's harsh whisper was like a punch in Hoss's stomach, causing a sudden wheeze of air to escape through the teenager's pinched lips. Frozen in sudden fear, the name invoking bitter memories of a time rather forgotten, Hoss couldn't move as the door was closed and his father turned to look at him. Standing silently for a few moments, it was his father who spoke first.
'It will be okay, son.'
His father's voice wobbled slightly, but the words were meant to encourage and calm. Hoss chose to ignore the tone and instead focused on the words.
'Why don't you go upstairs and check on your brother, alright?'
It was as if a release had broken and Hoss suddenly was able to move again, taking the stairs quickly. A feeling of dread began to creep over him and only intensified as he moved quickly down the hall to his brother's room. Opening the door, Hoss was startled by the iciness of the wind that was blowing through the bedroom. His gaze frozen on the open window, his clouded mind puzzled on just when it had been opened until he regained his senses and turned quickly to his brother's bed.
'Lil' buddy…w-what…when did ya…' His words died in his throat as his eyes widened in sudden alarm.
Heart hammering in his chest, Hoss grabbed at the haphazardly strewn blankets, quickly realizing that his little brother was no longer in his bed. Dropping to his knees, the teenager stuck his head down to look under the bed, his fear growing as his continued search yielded nothing. Adrenaline surging through him and giving him a surge of energy, Hoss staggered to his feet and rushed back to the open door, running down the hall to the top of the stairs. His voice betrayed the terror he too keenly felt.
'Pa, Adam!'
'Pa…it's Joe…he's, h-he's gone…'
Gasping as he forced himself to breathe, Hoss watched, as if in slow motion, his older brother and father turned to look at him. He could see their eyes widen, but they continued to stare at him blankly, almost as if they couldn't comprehend a word he'd said. Hoss felt his panic rising as he stared back, his pale eyes widening in sudden confusion.
What's wrong with them?
'Pa, Adam… Joe…he ain't in his room!'
Becoming frantic in his efforts to get someone to understand him, Hoss began to gesture wildly towards his little brother's room, hoping that the motion would force his father and older brother out of the trance that seemed to hold them. Frustration at their continued lack of response finally taking over, he slammed his hands down on the stair railing, the heavy thud echoing loudly through the silent house.
'What's wrong with all of ya?!' His voice was shrill as he screamed at them. 'Don't ya hear what I'm sayin'?! Joe's gone!'
It was as if suddenly a dam burst, and Hoss watched as both his father and brother sprang to life, both blinking rapidly as they began to run across the room to the stairs. Seeing that he had finally been understood, Hoss turned around and ran back down the hall towards his little brother's room, his eyes blurring with tears as he mumbled his desperate plea.
'Please, please little buddy…please be okay.'
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Ben had never felt more inadequate in all his life. Standing there, unable to even think clearly as he heard those terrible words, he knew he'd never been this scared in his entire life. Tragedy, heartache, despair: in his life he'd known them all; but the fear that had now crept into his bones caused them all to pale in comparison.
He'd always thought he could keep his family safe, protect them from the roughness and heartache that seemed to come with their way of life. Not that he wanted to coddle his boys; he wanted them to grow into strong, confident men more than anything in the world. It was what their mothers would have wanted, and something he had always confidently felt he could provide. But he felt like a failure now.
Woodenly, the haze fogging his mind, Ben turned from the door and looked at his two older sons. His heart hurt for the despair he saw on his middle son's face, the tears in the pale eyes. The boy had always had such a kind heart, had always been more concerned for others than for himself. Ben could see the fear and uncertainty in the boy's face, and he knew he had to do something, anything, to make it better.
'It will be okay, son.'
Good Lord, I hope I sound convincing.
All he could do was pray that the words sounded sincere, that he could hide the doubt growing in the pit of his stomach as he uttered the familiar words of comfort.
'Why don't you go upstairs and check on your brother, alright?'
And his middle son had believed him; or, at least, Ben thought ruefully, had indulged his father's attempt. He'd nodded his head, determination shining through the tears beginning to pool in his eyes, and he'd done his father's bidding, just as he had always done before. Ben couldn't stop the small smile of pride that tugged at his lips as he watched his son climb the stairs and disappear down the hall to his brother's room.
'Pa…what…'
His face grew weary again at the sound of the strained voice, and he turned sad eyes to face his oldest son. Ben studied the young man's determined face, already knowing Adam would not be placated by quick reassurances and gentle words. His son was too much like Ben himself to be fooled: protective to a fault, trusting facts and needing solid proof, never second-guessing his instincts. He was fearless in most anything he did.
But this was his family at stake, and the fear and rage reserved for such times as these that showed in the young man's hazel eyes was very real now. Ben had to move quickly, reassure his eldest in the only way he could before the young man exploded. With facts and truth, and if that didn't work, with the grim determination that he himself was holding on to. It's what family members did for each other, and it was what he was going to do now.
He'd choked the words out, tried to calm the swirling emotions in his heart, hoping he'd brought at least a measure of comfort to his oldest son. He stood staring at Adam, watching the young man struggle with his emotions until his own mind grew fuzzy and his thoughts muddled together. They both stood there silently, Ben trying to figure out when he had lost all control to protect his family, when his middle son's anguished cries broke through the foreboding quiet.
His cloudy mind wasn't working at first, and the words didn't register as he thought he must be dreaming. No, it just wasn't possible. Joe…gone?
His youngest was upstairs where he was supposed to be, in his bedroom, sleeping. How could he not be? It must be some kind of mistake, there has to be some other explanation…
And then the scream was louder, hysterical, and Ben felt a fear radiating through his body that he'd only felt a few times before. Snapping from the hazy stupor, Ben sucked in a raspy breath of air as he saw the frantic pale eyes, the hands gesturing wildly up the stairs. And panic sending his body flying forward, Ben pushed his body up the stairs.
He was at his youngest's bedroom door in an instant, Hoss already through the door and Adam right on his heels as he stormed into the room. He heard his own voice calling, surprised at how weak and gruff it sounded.
'Joseph! Where are you? Joseph…Joseph?!'
Ben's eyes widened at the sight of the rumpled covers bunched up in the middle of the bed, the small table that usually stood beside the bed holding the water pitcher overturned onto the floor. His ears vaguely heard Hoss's sobbing pleas, but they were only background noise as his eyes searched around the room. There was no sign of his little boy, and he felt his heart breaking at the thought. He closed his eyes and tried to think.
'Pa…the window!'
His eyes snapped open in time to see Adam rush to the open window. Adam turned and stared at his father for just a moment, and Ben nodded. Adam's eyes darkened to black as he swung easily out the window, disappearing into the night. Ben turned and silently ran down the stairs with Hoss right behind him, all the while a desperate prayer running through his mind.
'Please…please. Please let my son be alright.'
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Adam shivered violently in the frosty night air, rubbing his palms over his arms as he forced himself to breathe in and out in slow, even breaths. He stood motionless on the roof next to the open window, willing his pounding heart to calm as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. The full moon that was just beginning to rise over the tree line made his wait a short one as dark, shapeless shadows began taking on familiar characteristics. He had made it across the gently sloping surface to the edge in only a matter of seconds, just in time to see his father and younger brother come out the front door, lit lanterns in hand. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat at the sight of his father, Ben's pale face peering up at him anxiously.
'Son, do you…can you see anything?'
Adam did another cursory glance of his surroundings before shaking his head, his own eyes mirroring the disappointment he could easily read on his father's face. Obviously devoid of any other visitors, the roof was suddenly a very lonely place. He'd enjoyed the solace once; often when he'd been younger, he'd taken his escape to the roof, and even now he knew his little brother would sometimes venture there as well. Even as he knew his father would be horrified at the idea if he ever found out, the patriarch being too protective of his youngest for his own good sometimes, Adam had never once worried about Joe's occasional trips to the quiet place.
But things were different now, and Adam found himself having trouble forcing down the mounting panic that was beginning to build in his chest. The wiry little boy, who when awake seemed to possess the agility and sense of balance usually bestowed on felines, was in no such shape at the present moment. Under the effect of the narcotic that was supposed to help him rest, Adam had no such confidence that his little brother would have the luck to fare so well now. He knew Joe must have fallen asleep prior to his nocturnal venture, as Hoss wouldn't have left him to come back downstairs until he had. Something was very wrong, and he just knew it. He'd seen the sheer panic on Joe's face when he'd been trapped in his sleep that horrible night days prior, and the thought of the little boy trapped again, trying to run away, terrified the oldest Cartwright son.
'Hoss, quick…check the barn!'
Adam's mind snapped back to his current situation at the sound of his father's sharp words. He turned and looked back down to the ground below and watched Hoss streaking away in the dark towards the barn. Ben looked up at his oldest son and jerked his head.
'Adam…son, go back through the window and meet us down here. We have to split up…find him…I don't think he could have gone very far…'
Adam moved as quickly as he felt was safe towards the open window, taking one last glance at his surroundings before he moved to go back in through the opening. A peculiar noise echoing above his head, barely louder than a soft whisper, suddenly caught his attention. He froze, his eyes widening, and called nervously to his father who was still standing on the ground below.
'Pa, did you hear that?' He didn't give his father a chance to answer as his voice caught in a terrified whisper, his eyes now focused on and recognizing the sight above him. 'Oh my God…'
'Adam? Adam, what is it?!' Ben's voice was verging on hysterical as he watched his oldest son standing frozen at the window, his eyes looking upwards. With a sudden burst of urgency, Adam began pushing his body upward towards the peak of the roof. Ben's eyes darted upwards, and he let out a shocked gasp as he realized what Adam had seen.
'Joseph!'
Adam didn't even hear his father as he began to climb, as quickly as he could, towards the highest point of the roof. Perched precariously at the steepest peak, cowering as close as he could to the stone chimney, was his little brother. Adam wasn't even sure how the little boy had balanced himself up on the narrow ledge, but Joe had indeed done just that, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. As Adam got closer to his brother, he could hear a slight whimpering sound coming from the little boy, and his heart broke as he got close enough to hear what the boy was saying.
'No, please…p-please, stop…' Joe's voice kept catching between ragged breaths that were causing the little boy to visibly tremble in terror. 'P-papa…help…h-help me…Adam…s-somebody, please…'
Adam reached the top of the roof, moving slowly as he slid himself closer to the distraught little boy. Tears in his own eyes, Adam realized with sick horror that his fear had indeed been real: the little boy in front of him had his bright eyes open wide, but again, they were unseeing. With the little boy in the throes of yet another nightmare, Adam continued to inch forward slowly, his hand stretched out in front of him as he made his move to grab the distraught child.
Bracing his feet against the stone chimney in an attempt to balance his weight and prevent them both from crashing to the ground below, Adam reached out and wrapped his arms around his little brother, engulfing him in a tight embrace. Joe's desperate scream cut through the quiet night, and the little boy began kicking frantically.
'No, no! Lemme go, p-please…'
The force the little boy was exerting in his fight to escape threw his older brother backwards, and Adam landed hard against the chimney, the jolt causing a wave of pain as the air was pushed from his lungs. He tightened his grip on the thrashing child and held on as he rebalanced himself. Once he was confident that they weren't in any danger of falling, he began to whisper softly in an attempt to calm the struggling figure in his arms.
'Buddy, Joe, shh…it's okay,' he implored, tears running down his own cheeks as he held the child tightly to his chest, his head bowed down so that his chin rested on the tousled hair of the little boy. 'Joe, buddy…it's me, it's Adam. Wake up, buddy…come on, please.'
The small boy in his arms, somehow seeming to recognize that he was now safe, leaned into the embrace and his body went completely limp. Adam continued to hold Joe tightly, rocking slightly as he tried to maintain his precarious balance on the roof. Joe's eyes had closed, and his breathing began to slow as the terror of the nightmare began to abate. Adam breathed a sigh of relief as his brother's full weight fell against him, and he lifted his still tear-filled eyes at the sound of the sudden voice that called softly to him.
'Adam…son, hand him down to me.'
Adam jumped slightly in surprise at the sound of his father's voice directly below him, and peering down, saw Ben standing on the roof. His father was standing on his tiptoes and had his arms stretched above his head as he waited for Adam to hand the sleeping Joe down to him. Scooting himself slowly down the slippery peak towards his father, Adam got close enough to lower the little boy down to the anxious man below. Ben's arms wrapped around the sleeping child and pulled him close as he began to make his way back towards the window. Adam slid carefully down the rest of the way and followed his father back into the house through the open window.
Hoss was standing next to Joe's bed, his wide eyes staring, his face ashen as he silently watched his little brother sleeping. Ben had laid the child back down on the bed, and had moved across the room to stand, with his back turned, facing the wall. His shoulders were heaving as violent shudders shook him, and Adam knew it was a release of tension as his father spent a moment trying to regain his composure. Adam moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to Joe, his trembling hand running through the little boy's hair as he tried too to gain control of his own pounding heart and shaky breaths. Adam's face broke into a slight smile as he noticed Joe's eyes beginning to open, confusion evident in their bleary expression.
'A-adam? Adam!'
Adam gasped as the wind was knocked from his lungs at the impact of the little boy's embrace as he flew into his older brother's arms, his slight body rocked by sobs. The smile vanished off of Adam's face as he stroked up and down the boy's back, trying his best to soothe the boy.
'Buddy…shh, it's okay. Shh, you're safe.'
Joe continued to cry, pushing himself further into his brother's chest as if he was afraid that if he let go his older brother would disappear. Ben knelt down by the bed in front of the two boys, putting his hands on Joe's knees as he turned the boy to face him, Adam keeping his arm securely around his little brother's shoulders. Hoss moved to sit next to Joe on the other side.
'Son…Joseph, look at me,' Ben pleaded sadly at the little boy. Joe continued to sob, but obediently moved his eyes upwards to meet his father's gaze. 'Joseph…son, please. What happened?'
Joe shook his head and closed his eyes, but Ben's grip tightened on Joe's knees, grounding the little boy. Ben felt more than heard the little boy exhale, and Joe's eyes opened wide as his voice came out in a quiet whisper.
'The…t-the voice changed. It got m-mad at me…I had to g-get away…why? W-what d-did I do wrong?' His voice hitched as the tears started again, and he leaned back into Adam's embrace again, staring miserably at his father. 'Why…w-why is this h-happening to m-me?'
Three pairs of eyes stared miserably back at him as silence filled the bedroom. There just wasn't an answer.
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Timmy Rawlins…
The frantic energy of the evening had left, leaving only tired determination in its wake. Joe had fought it as long as he could, but the drug he'd ingested still held it's power over him and he fell into a deep sleep. Still surrounding their little brother, both Hoss and Adam had refused to leave his side, but it had only been a matter of time before they too, had succumbed to their weariness. Adam, leaning against the headboard, had propped himself up with pillows and had Joe cradled against his chest; his head now fallen forward to rest on Joe's hair. Hoss had tried to curl his large frame up next to them, one long leg hanging haphazardly off of the bed. As he pulled a quilt up to cover his sleeping sons, Ben couldn't help but smile slightly as he thought of the aches and pains his oldest boys would have once they woke up after having slept in the uncomfortable positions.
Left alone with his thoughts, Ben's exhausted mind tumbled with all that he had heard and seen over the past few hours. Seeing his youngest perched on the very top peak of the roof, precariously close to falling to serious injury or possibly even worse, had sent a fear into Ben's heart that had nearly paralyzed him. Rubbing a trembling hand across his weary features, he took a deep breath and steeled himself as the familiar emotion hit him. While he had felt terrified, powerless during the whole ordeal, he found the guilt he now felt almost smothering him. He'd let it go on for far too long. He'd been weak, too immersed in his own sorrows to take care of his family. And his son had suffered for it.
Timmy Rawlins.
He hadn't thought on the small boy attached to that name in almost five years, not since Marie had died. So many things had been easier to forget back then, to push aside and leave to themselves, and that name and its owner had been one of them.
Pale haired and blue eyed, Timmy Rawlins had had seven years to Joseph's five that summer. New to the area, without a mama, and left pretty much to himself by a father too busy to pay much mind to a young child, the adventurous waif had found a willing companion in a certain green-eyed little boy. Ben couldn't remember a day that summer that he hadn't seen the two little boys running after each other through the woods or lounging together in the north pasture, just enjoying being little boys in the summertime. Of course, being boys they had gotten into their fair share of trouble; several occasions Ben silently wishing his son's new friend would find himself a new playmate.
And then, that terrible day had happened. Joe had disappeared, they'd spent the night looking for him, and he'd been found at the top of Eagle's Nest, alone, terrified. Ben had always known, deep down, that something more than just running away and being scared to come home had happened to his little boy, something that had never been spoken about. Time and circumstance had made it easier to forget. It had taken months, after he had finally pulled himself out of his grief and despair at Marie's death, for him to realize that the little boy who had been 'the bestest of friends' with Joe had seemingly disappeared. Joe had never mentioned his friend or what had happened ever again, and Ben had just shrugged it off to the fickleness of childhood friendships.
Now, as he pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop the pounding pain that was escalating between his eyes, Ben had to wonder if there wasn't something more. The fact that Ashcroft had asked about Joe in town sickened him, but hearing the mention of Timmy Rawlins unnerved him to no end. It was as if all of the dark times in his family's past had been dragged back out, ready to drown them again in another sea of pain.
'Papa…papa!' A tiny hand reached up and pulled on Ben's shirt. The man stopped the work he was doing and turned, smiling distractedly at the grubby five-year-old in front of him.
'Joseph, what is it, son?' He tried to keep his voice firm, but his eyes twinkled with pride as the little boy grinned maddeningly at him. His son had that power over him, he just couldn't explain it. 'I have a lot of work to do. Speak up, now! What is it?'
'Papa, Mama told me to come out an' play,' the small voice whispered solemnly. He looked at his father with big eyes as he added importantly, 'she's got one a' her 'hidaches' a'gin.'
Ben sighed and shook his head as he pondered what to do with the small boy in front of him. He had so much to do around the ranch today, and with both Adam and Hoss in school, Hop Sing away for the day to visit relatives and Marie now being ill, it was going to be hard getting everything done with the added responsibility of keeping track of one very energetic little boy. Clearing his throat, he gave the small boy a stern smile.
'Well, that's fine, Joseph. I have a lot of work to do around here today, so I want you to stay close and stay out of trouble. Can you do that for me?' His eyes twinkled as the small boy's head bobbed up and down enthusiastically.
'Yes, sir, Papa,' Joe's face was the picture of innocence, his green eyes wide. 'I'll be good.'
'That's good, son,' Ben couldn't help running his hand through his son's wild curls, causing the little boy to scrunch up his nose and pull away in mock disgust.
'Papa…Pa, stop!'
Ben only laughed at the good-natured whining as the little boy scampered away, and he turned back around, quickly becoming engrossed in the task he had been working on. Another task followed, and another, and before he knew it, the day was almost gone. Hop Sing had returned and had started fixing dinner, Adam and Hoss had come home and begun their chores, and all had seemed well. It was only minutes later when everything began to fall apart…
Ben's eyes focused back on his three sleeping sons as the memories continued to run through his mind. He hadn't seen Timmy at the ranch that day, but, in all fairness, he hadn't been paying much attention either. It seemed possible, therefore, as Timmy's father didn't see much need for his son's attendance in school, that the young boy could have visited that day. Ben's heart sank as his mind began to race with the possibility that Timmy had been with Joe that day…but he hadn't been with Joe on the top of Eagle's Nest and Ben had never seen him again after that. Was it possible? Had Timmy been with Joe that day? And just what had happened to the little blond boy?
'Oh, Joseph,' he groaned, his eyes filling with tears as he watched his youngest sleeping fitfully in his older brother's arms. He knew, something was telling him, that there was much more to all of this. Much more. And he owed it to his son to find out what it was.
'What did you see that day, son?'
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To be continued…hopefully sooner rather than later. Thanks as always for reading!