Hello everyone! I apologize that I have taken longer updating than I said I would, the reason for this is because I was out of the country on a trip to Paris, and I have got to say they have the best food there...and men honhonhon C: lol
anyways it also took longer than expected because I rewrote the last chapter. A kind soul pointed out to me that her personality change was wayy too sudden and made her unrealistic, looking over the chapter again I had to agree C: so thankyou The Knees of Bees for pointing that out, I really do enjoy critique because it helps me grow as an author. That being said, I hope you (readers of my story) would read the last chapter, or at least skim over it, everything did happen the same but I edited it so that it is more realistic C:.
Also, after this chapter I will be putting this story on Hiatus along with three other stories I have on , the reason for this is because I am working on a huge project; an Otome game. I am not only writing the whole thing, but I am also doing all the art too, so It is going to be a hugge project for me, and I have to keep the ball rolling while it's going. Anyways, for updates on the Otome game follow my tumblr account which is posted on my page in my bio I am not going to be posting much about it until I am atleast 70% finished with it C:.
A BIGG thankyou to TheLostGirl15, Sickmonkey89, and Grievousorvenom for commenting and loving on my story! You have no clue how that encourages me :'DD!
Anyways this is my favorite chapter so far, so on with the story Huzzah!
Perception
Chapter 4
"All along the formless coast bordered by dangerous surf, as if nature herself had tried to ward off intruders; in and out of rivers, streams of death and life, whose banks were rotting into mud, whose waters thickened into slime, invaded the contorted mangroves, that seemed to writhe at us in the extremity of an impotent despair." - Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
His words were like a snake drawing me closer, hypnotizing me, compelling me in. It was not because of his charm, but rather lack of it that became the intrigue of him. He would always act on impulse, on feelings, as if logic did not exist. With him, there was no rules, only hope and prayer that the sun would rise above the mountains the next day.
"I think I have a better plan" Vivian said giving a smile that made me weary.
"Continue…" I said hesitantly.
"Okay so with our disguises, well my disguise we should be able to get to that huge bar in the ballroom In the middle of the ship top floor, when we get there we can use the beer bottles stored in the built in coolers under the counters to make Molotov cocktails, when the men are gathered we can then throw said cocktails to disperse them and create an uprising with the people."
My jaw was somewhere around my knees. "And you know how to make molotov cocktails?" I asked my eyebrows raised.
"Well I learned a couple things growing up." She joked around. "But first we need rubber bands of sorts"
"Well.." I realized "You have that 100 pack of hair bands that you bought for this trip."
Vivian was about to complain but knew this was a bit more important than having something to tie her hair up with.
"Oh talking about hair bands, here let me help you hide your hair under that hat." I said taking one of the two hair bands I usually keep around my wrist and helped her pin up her hair and then sat the hat over it. "Wow with the hat, Bandanna and the glasses no one is even going to assume you aren't a man!"
She frowned dramatically "You forgot to mention my lack of boobs!"
I rolled my eyes giving a laugh "Whatever, let's go finish out the plan." She nodded and then we left and headed to the ball room with the gigantic bar.
The ball room was really…well creepy, the chandelier was the only light that was on, creating deep shadows that draped throughout the room Vivian immediately headed towards the bar and grabbed the alcohol bottles from underneath the counter, for the next ten minutes or so we moved fast, I quickly grabbed white cloth napkins from the tables that lay in the room and dipped the ends in lantern oil. Vivian was mixing various alcohols and sprites to create what she said was a 'highly flammable fluid'. The whole time my nerves were shaking, jumping and grating on my conscience, these were people we were fighting against. People that had families, what will become of their families, when they get hurt? I felt nauseated, I When she was done with about ten bottles she looked up at me.
"Hey, Joe what are you stalling for? Come on and help me get this done!"
I walked over trying with all my strength to push the guilt out of my head, but it just wouldn't budge. We started to place the napkins in the bottle and tie them securely in, then we grabbed the cocktails and hid them in Vivian's outfit (seeing that I was still in a bikini and that large coat wouldn't give it away).
"Time to get the party started." She said we climbed down the stairs to the front of the ship where the hostages were being held. I swallowed. Vivian grabbed me roughly around the wrist and yanked me around a bit when a guard was passing.
I turned to her "Hey I have a good idea."
When I was finished telling her most of my plan she agreed saying that it might really work even better, although I didn't tell her all of it because I knew she would not agree with it.
She stripped down to her bikini and I dressed up as the pirate, we took the Molotov cocktails up to the second story balcony that over looked the area where the pirates were.
We looked at each other "ready?" I asked.
She looked uneasy but nodded with resolution "ready."
All of a sudden, in a flurry of action we lighted Molotovs and throwing them. As fire ignited like fallen angels, chaos was brought into the world. People ran around yelling, screaming as the strong tropical winds danced with the fire, and the conflagration consumed its prisoners. Looking down at the chaos, for a moment I felt like God. When half of the Molotov cocktails were gone, I took apart in my secret plan I had formed in hopes of freeing everyone on the ship.
"Finish them off, I have to go do something. Here," I unsheathed the gun forcing it into her hands "If anyone comes up to you, shoot them." Before she could protest I ran down the stairs into the growing inferno. I looked around the pirates, most were running from the fire, some were scoping, looking around for the person who was throwing these cocktails, but Vivian was too smart for her own good, ducking between throws.
Smoke was obscuring some of my vision but finally I found the form of the boss "Vaas" as many of the pirates called him, the heat wavered the sight but I could always tell when someone was in charge and this man was one of those people, the black spot in the middle of a white page.
I headed my way over and as I got closer and the strong wind helped clear the smoke was out of my eyes, the heat was behind me I could truly see the form of the man called "Vaas". To simply put this, he took my breath away, he was everything I could only imagine a dream could be, perfect. So entirely handsome, no amount of smoke could make that any different. This man had tanned skin with a square jaw line, his hazel eyes shifted and swirled as emotions ran through him, rampant, raw, uncontrolled emotions. He had a scar that marred his eyebrow and trailed up to the middle of the back of his head and suddenly I realized I wanted to know everything about that scar, every story behind this man named 'Vaas'. I had never in my life been more compelled to another human being, so pulled toward the existence of another, but the weight of my current situation was heavier than my attraction to this bad man.
I shook violently, fear of failure crawling through my skin enveloping me I was not scared, I was terrified. If this plan failed thousands of people on this boat would lose their lives including Vivian. So I recalled all the drama classes I took and became the person I needed to be. I slid a mask over my face, a mask of daring, a mask of fearlessness. I was bold, I was the predator and the man named 'Vaas' is my prey.
I unsheathed my knife quietly, I made my way past him and then behind him. Swiftly, I slipped a string through his belt loop and hooked it inside of my jacket. I then pressed the knife to his throat.
"Hello Vaas." I sneered, "I would advise you not to move, because this pretty little string here" I touched the string pulling on it a tad. "Is attached to a grenade pin in my jacket, so if you die, so do I."
To my surprise this Vaas character started laughing "Holy fuck! You snuck right up behind me amigo! Are my men that stupid? How did they not spot you?" he laughed harder, it frayed my nerves, hearing that laugh, as if he didn't care whether he died or not, as if he didn't have one care in the whole world.
It was only later that I realized that he and I were not much different.
A great draft of wind blew, and the hat that was covering my hair flew off revealing my short blonde hair.
"A woman!?" One of the pirates exclaimed pointing me out, he then put one and one together and saw that I had a knife to Vaas's throat. As more pirates noticed me and in turn more barrels of AKs were pointed at me, silence grew over the crowed as the distressed victims dropped what they were doing (screaming crying ect) to watch the great events of me threatening the head of the whole organization.
"I wouldn't pull the trigger." I said loud enough for all of them to hear "Your lovely Vaas" I spat sarcastically, angry at the pirates, angry at the predicament I was in, and most of all, angry at myself for not being able to say 'no' to the great "dream finder" "and I are connected by this string, and if my body falls then the pin of my grenade attached inside my jacket is pulled and it will kill everyone close, including him." I said digging the knife in further, my shaking hand giving away my adrenaline and apprehension in the situation despite my steady voice.
At what I said, Pirates backed up not wanting to be close to an explosive situation (haha explosive situation hahaha).
"You Fucks!" The man called Vaas screamed suddenly forming into the rage of a lion. "You!" he yelled dialing in on the poor pirate that was about a head shorter than the others and skinny enough to match. "Stop being a fucking pussy and get your ass over here! Vaminos!" The pirate was visibly shaking out of fear, his gun still trained on me. He was young and bright eyed, obviously not as weathered as the rest of the pirates, this boy must have been a new recruit.
Vaas looked over his shoulder at me, he could now tell that I was a girl, too short and curvy to be a man. "What's your name sweetheart?" he asked calmly, when I didn't answer, his face contorted into a vision of rage. "I just asked you a question and you just fucking ignored me, do you have Any. Fucking. Idea. how rude you are being?!" he screamed completely unhinged, it made me jolt, fear ripping down my spine like lightning, reminding me that I was only but a mortal and he, he was god, I had a knife but he, he had true power. A simple human against the all existing power of god, hopelessly, devastatingly, and utterly useless. That was what I suddenly felt, useless, and pitying for every other poor being who dared to stare within the luminescent darkness, the soul eclipse of this being.
"My name is Josephina, but I go by Joe." I said quietly, fear wrapping around me and taking hold of me in a python grip. My hand started shaking harder, who was I? Was that really who I was in this moment? Why did I feel so different? Why did I feel like I could accomplish something like saving people when I was a meagerly ant and he was the boot.
"I'm sorry," Vaas growled, "I can't hear you. Speak up for fucks sake!"
The python caught fire and ignited turning fear into anger, rage, a burning inferno of rage. I was angry, I was angry that I was weak within his presence, I was angry that I wasn't saving people, I was angry over my life going nowhere, I was enraged. "Shut up! You stupid motherfucker!" I snapped back pulling the knife closer into his skin, my hand now shaking out of anger, creating a drip of red. "If you are so curious as to what my name is, it's 'Joe' you ignorant little shit!"
Vaas laughed out loud throwing his head back. "Oh my, this dingo got a growl, but can she bite…?" he turned his head to the skinny pirate holding the gun that was trembling in his hand.
"When I count down to 'one' shoot her." Vaas then turned to the girl behind him. "Okay chica, we gunna' play a little game, either you kill me, or I kill you."
I gave a growl "In the end either way you die."
He shook his head "You see, to make this fair I cut the string when you were distracted. It was a good plan, a clever plan, but it's no fun if the chances of both of our survival are ruined." He then turned back to the kid with the gun. I looked down noticing that the string was indeed cut his hand holding a knife.
I was so useless I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry, here I created a whole plan of escape, thinking I could save everyone, I had the knife, I had the upper hand, and the next thing I know is he not only has a knife but also a gun. Not only does he have an upper hand but, he uses it to make me play his 'game'.
"Three"
My whole life came back to the fore front of my mind, like a slideshow in 5x speed, every mistake I had ever made. When I cheated on Brian in sophomore year, when I cheated on the chem test junior year, when I cussed out Viv, every time I pretended to love Lena's hand knit socks for Christmas every year, every time when a guy was interested in me and I told him 'I respect our friendship too much' just to get out of dating him, when I forgot to tip the waitress, when I cut someone off while driving, in elementary when I made fun of Catherine zeta, when I ran over the neighbor's cat, everything was rushing through my head. I wish I had done this, I wish I didn't do that.
"Two"
I also remembered every precious memory, when I had my first crush on a boy, my first kiss, when Viv and I had an all-nighter sleepover with nutella and Jake Gyllenhaal movies after my first boyfriend broke up with me, every kind person I had met, every adventure, every laugh, every smile.
This moment was the ultimatum, where I decided if I was going to stay in my righteous non-violent ways, or if I was going to conform, adapt to the savage of the jungle.
"KILL ME!" Vaas hollered at me, jarring my thoughts for a moment, his intensity hotter and more scathing than any heat of hell's flames.
These people needed my help, they didn't deserve to die, everyone made mistakes but no one deserved to be sold off like animals for them. But in the end there was around 100 pirates with guns and everyone was willing to listen in order not to get a bullet in their head. What was I though? I was only a man, In the end, if I killed Vaas, nothing would change we would all still be sold off.
"JUST FUCKING KILL ME!" He screamed piercing the silence with his wild accent.
I didn't want to kill anyone no matter how evil they were, how could I live with myself with blood on my hands? I didn't want this, I never asked for this situation. How could the decision a human's demise lay on my hands, the decision was too hefty. In that moment I knew I was not God, I looked up wishing to be like him.
"SLIT MY FUCKING THROAT AND KILL ME!"
Vaas's voice was shaking me, affecting me to my core. It was an earthquake; everything else trembled at the aftermath, destruction and rebirth in it's wake.
I regret. I destroy. I Create.
"You know this can't be perfect Even when it's feeling right And the sounds of bodies crashing Echo through the night
Dreams are gone Nightmares are here to stay Not doing when you know Is the greatest crime"
Its Myself vs. Being a Man – INHALE EXHALE
I hope you all liked it C:!