Thanks for bearing with me! This is it folks..the end. Hope you enjoyed the story! Not perfect, but I'm not too disappointed with the results!
Mulder knew if he was feeling this terrible about the situation he could only imagine what Scully would be feeling. It was inevitable, all the doctors said it, though he did admire Scully's determination in figuring out a course of treatment but for Rebecca it was not meant to be. Mulder's lips still tingled from the ghostly kiss and wasn't sure what to think of it still, she really loved him, deep down there was a connection, maybe in a past life. She really struck a chord with Mulder and he wasn't sure how to respond to it, or approach Scully with his news.
Mulder heard her car pull up the drive and realized he should have thought about a meal but he felt too confused and distraught, he knew Scully wouldn't want to eat anyways after the day and night she had had. Lounging on the couch seemed lazy, he knew he should support Scully but he felt bad too. She was so determined to help Rebecca and failed, then when she asked for his help, he was sure he'd be able to help her out a bit and failed himself. Now they were failures together and Mulder couldn't feel any guiltier.
"Hey, Scully," his eyes rose to meet her coming in the door.
"Hey…" she was hurting and he could tell. Dropping her briefcase, not even bothering to make it to the side table she kicked off her shoes and joined Mulder on the couch.
"You ok?" he was concerned and knew she'd be like this for a few weeks at least.
"I thought I had more time, I thought I'd be able to do something, but I couldn't put the pieces together fast enough." She sighed and turned to face him, "Her parents made it about a half hour after you left. Obviously upset, but they knew." Scully swallowed the lump in her throat and held back her tears. "I just wish I could have done what I promised."
"Scully, the girl was suffering," he was hesitant to continue, "Did you have any conversations with her about her life at all?"
"She had these walls built up around me…I mean we talked a bit…"she wasn't sure where he was going with the conversation. "I assume because I was her doctor she didn't divulge as much as she did with you."
"Scully you have no idea…" he kind of laughed, "she was a good spirit, she umm—she was quite chatty before—"he motioned and she understood.
"All I knew of her personally is that she was completely infatuated with you. When umm—when I caught her the other night, before I knew who she was with—"she was having a hard time getting her thought out without sounding crazy, Scully flushed thinking about him coupling with another woman.
"…you thought I was with her." He gave her a look, "…come on Scully, you know me better than that." He teased her slightly.
"I couldn't tell you how grateful I was when I saw blonde hair," she laughed as the silence surrounded them again and they sat there for several moments, thinking about Rebecca.
"Scully…I umm—I have something to confess, not that it will make any difference…" he hesitated not sure how to begin his confession.
"Mulder…" she looked at him, a warning that he better not have done anything completely stupid.
"When I lay with her, she did ask me to and I couldn't turn her down Scully. She just wanted the comfort and I was more than willing to oblige, I wouldn't lay with any stranger…you know that Scully," he looked at her and put his hand on her leg. "We dozed, but Scully she was so at ease with it and it made me feel at ease with it and she felt like you…her little petite frame, so frail yet trying so hard to keep strong. I umm—we woke up and she was kissing me…." Scully moved her leg away from Mulder's hand and looked at him.
"Did you kiss her?" she was cold and jealous and he knew it was to be expected but he had to tell her, he couldn't keep it bottled up, these were her last moments.
"She said I did, but in my defense I was half asleep and had no idea what was going on at first, I did push her away and she apologized. Scully, that girl needed someone to love her so bad, she needed the comfort that you and I kept a distance for so long…remember when we first kissed? All the tension between us just melted away, like the world didn't matter, all the monsters were gone and together we were a better people because we had the devotion to each other that was based more on respect and friendship than intimacy at first."
Scully smiled slightly at the thought of their first legitimate kiss, not any New Year's kiss, but when they had decided to take that plunge and express themselves intimately to each other. The way she melted into his lips and touch, tender and loving at first, quickly turning into frenzied groping and ravenous bodies claiming each other, she would never forget their first time having sex. It was a lavish affair and both of them needed that comfort and love after so many years of tension between them.
"Scully, when she was slipping away, I held her hand—so tight. I didn't want to let her go, I know she was trying to hang on but she, deep down, knew it wasn't going to happen, I wanted her to feel good Scully…I wanted her to not worry about her pain, to relax as best she could under the circumstances, I did kiss her Scully…" he paused as she let it sink in, it's not like he full on cheated on her at all but he had enough respect for Scully to tell her the truth. "She sobbed terribly into me and I watched her go…I needed to give her that love, it wasn't a kiss that you and I would share, though from her point of view it might have felt like it. But it was a kiss of respect, tenderness; she relaxed and was at total peace with it all. I knew she was pained but she was happy and that was the least I could do for her."
"Mulder—"she wasn't even sure how to respond.
"Scully, you know I'll always be devoted to you. Always." He reassured his affections towards her as often as he could.
"I know…"they were quiet for several minutes. "Well on that note, Rebecca died from severe swelling in her brain, just too much pressure. Guess no matter the circumstances we couldn't stimulate her enough huh?" she grinned at him. "She really had a brilliant mind…too bad it was all derived from the tumor."
"You know what was funny though Scully? For as improved she felt during the intellectual stimuli, she responded best with emotional stimuli. When you said I should come by I had prepared myself with a lot of little trivia bits but when I asked if she wanted it—she just wanted me to lie with her." It felt good to talk about this part of Rebecca's life. They didn't know much about her as a whole but being able to put the pieces together outside of the hospital, it felt strangely cleansing. "She just didn't understand how to balance her life out to what her brain was telling her she needed."
"Yeah, I know the feeling." Scully sighed and readjusted herself to lie back against Mulder's shoulder, wrapping his lanky arm around her and hugging it tightly. "Thank you."
"I'm assuming you aren't hungry…" Mulder piped up, knowing the answer before he even finished.
"You know me too well," Scully laughed quietly as she closed her eyes and relaxed against him. She was grateful Rebecca came into their lives; she made them see a new light as apparent partners. There would always be a partnership between them that was unbreakable. Scully never knew how much she appreciated Mulder's help until he jumped into this particular case with her, his dedication to Rebecca helped her focus on the health aspect as Mulder took over the emotional part of it. And yet again medicine failed while emotional response took over. "Tell me…after all these years why it is your damn thinking wins over mine ninety percent of the time?" They laughed together, realizing that even in grieving together they were stronger.
Scully didn't have a problem falling asleep on Mulder shortly after their conversation ended and he loved it, the way her breathing eased up and her body contoured to his. He felt sudden warmth on his cheek and closed his eyes, relishing the ghost kiss that did indeed follow him home, Mulder smiled and bent himself down planting a light kiss on Scully's cheek, smiling at the love he has and had given.