Gah sorries I had writers block and this chapter is kinda short but yeah... next chapter will probably be the last.. there shall be a shocking plot twist... enjoy and stuff
The writer slash narrator gently nudged her dog in the mouth for biting her toe again but that had nothing to do with the story she was taking time out of her life to write in exchange for internet love.
Kirara brought the writer her flavored water and now it was time to get to work.
"Ah mine fuhrer," the two-tailed cat began to speak "Where shall you pick the story up from?"
The writer wasn't quite sure of this herself since the entire fanfiction was a production of randomness and crack, she realized that the fourth wall being broken so much was probably getting very old to potential reviewers and that the fourth wall had never been so broken before in fact the fourth wall was shattered into a thousand pieces probably holding anyone who wanted to review back from reviewing.
Now our group of heroes is on their way to the castle slash mansion of Sesshoumaru who, incidentally in spite of his cancer to the toe is a rock star and a king and a high school student.
"So what should this Mary-sue look like?" Miroku asked
"Well." Shippo began, of course this was going to be a rare fanfiction where Shippo actually serves a purpose and has some lines "Mary-sue can take on many forms and many names… the best way to know it's her is she'll be very pretty, even if she's part… well whatever kind of demon Jocken is… she'll be pretty, you'll all notice that. Her scent will be that of everything that is good in the world. Inuyasha, you could end up unintentionally falling for her so watch out. Kagome, you could end up disappearing from this fanfiction if that is the case… and of course everyone else will pretty much disappear too since the writer won't care so much about any of you anymore."
"Why would I fall in love with an out-of-place fan character?" Inuyasha tilted his head
The writer wanted to make Shippo seem dramatic but ran out of descriptive words to describe that "Because… she'll make you trust!"
Inuyasha did one thing that was actually in character by knocking Shippo in the head, of course Kagome couldn't make him sit because this as still an alternate universe fanfiction.
Finally the group had made it to the mansion slash castle of Sesshoumaru… they could already hear his frantic screams from inside… the Mary-sue was surely here.
Inuyasha sniffed the air "the smell is over wheilingly sweet." He scoffed and held back a gag "that-way." He pointed and the… well it was looking less like a group and more like an angry mob that wanted their anime back… well whatever they were the all quickly followed and when the arrived.
SHOCK
Sesshoumaru lay crying in the middle of the floor wrapped in a blanket sucking his thumb "she… she did things that me describing would make the rating go up… in fact this sentence alone is pushing it."
Sesshoumaru isn't suppose to cry… let along… well never mind that
Suddenly a girl jumped from out of nowhere and began hugging Inuyasha "Brother!" she cheered.
"WHAT?" Inuyasha had never felt truly scared of anything besides the s word and possibly the deaths of his friends… but this girl… brought up a new meaning to fear.
He was annoyed "Daaad!!! One of you love children is violating me by being in my personal bubble!"
His father appeared from out of nowhere… "That is not mine!" of course the writer slash narrator changed his words to say "That's just fine." So Inuyasha heard the second phrase
"What do you mean that's just fine!" Inuyasha pulled out of the girl's grasp and hid behind the nearest person who happened to be Kagome, this was a first.
At any rate the plot wasn't going to get anywhere unless someone got to know the Mary-sue. This looked like a job for Sango, because of her overall lack of lines.
"Do you have a name?" the writer forced Sango to ask
The Mary-sue nodded "My name is Marissa Micelles… as you can see I'm five foot four, I have long black hair that looks slightly blue at times. I have very big blue orbs that shine like stars for eyes. I'm also a half-demon as you can see I had dog ears that are much like Inuyasha's. Of course I'm considered much, much prettier than any other girl in the entire series. Oh yeah and I'm from modern times like Kagome, we're best friends and I fell into her well one day."
There was a silence as a few tumble weeds blew by
"Ummm… what?" Koga blinked
"That made no sense at all." Sango stared in shock at the strange girl
"Don't people usually not describe how they look? I mean isn't that suppose to be kind of obvious to us?" Miroku decided it probably wouldn't be wise to flirt with this girl like he did with others after glancing at what she had done to poor Sesshoumaru.
Marissa continued as if they hadn't said anything at all "I wear dark blue jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt because I always change before coming to the feudal era."
Scary that she describes that but it does make me wonder why I usually get my school uniform specifically to go to the feudal era wouldn't it make more sense if I did wear some pants or something a little less revealing… maybe I might get kidnapped less.
The writer was considering using the backspace key on Kagome's thoughts, after all they were using too much logic but she forgot all about them very quickly.
"Well apparently the writer thinks you have a use in our plot." Inuyasha was ready to get this over with.
Marissa nodded "Of course I do but in exchange I'll have to get something." She stared at poor Koga with a wide smile on her face. The seemingly fearless wolf demon now looked as if he could cry "I WON'T DO IT!" he yelled
"That's fine." Marissa smiled "Because… I want to have lots and lots of kids." She grinned at Miroku who was actually scared of a girl for the first time in his life.
Suddenly the phone rang; Inuyasha answered "Hello?"
Doctor Naraku was on the other line "Yes Inuyasha, I don't know how to tell you this but… it's your brother he has died from his breast cancer."
"No way!" Inuyasha's voice was filled with shock because the writer slash narrator thinks out of character-ness if fun.
But Sesshoumaru was in the same room with us how can he just be poofed into the hospital
Shut up Kagome.
Now it was time for the funeral scene… a song is also included
Everyone gathered around Sesshoumaru's coffin wearing their read clothes.
If you like pina coladas
Jocken didn't shed a tear and asked Inuyasha if he could serve him because the writer has unclear motives
And getting caught in the rain
"I just can't believe the cancer beat him!" Sango cried "it seemed like just yesterday he was playing football."
If you're not into yoga
"Sesshoumaru was a great guy." Koga's voice shook
If you have half a brain
"Why did my cousin have to die?" Rin sobbed
"If you like making love at midnight!!!" Kagome almost yelled this line and quickly realized she was the only one who could hear the song fic… aren't song fanfictions against the rules of the website this is posted on?
For once Kagome's ranting was useful to the writer slash narrator, so she decided to end whatever that part was.
"Hey everyone! The newly revived Sesshoumaru waved to everyone.
If he's not dead then what was the point of that entire scene?
The writer instructed Kagome to stop uncovering her plot holes for once or she'd be the next one to get temporally killed off.
"Mary-sue chick!" Kikyo yelled "Will you just tell us how to get out of this stupid fanfiction before the writer makes me steal your boyfriend?"
Marissa's cat ears perked up
Since when did she have cat ears?
"Yeah it's simple… just click your heels tougher three times and say there's no place like home!"
"That's wizard of OZ…" Kagome sighed
"IT WORKS HERE SO DO IT DANG I!" Marissa yelled at Kagome in a homicidal manner
Crap I do not feel like dying like this
"Not caring!" Inuyasha sang skipping around happily in the background and beginning to give everyone a strip tease.
"Oh Inuyasha!" Miroku screamed, before anyone knew what was going on Miroku had tackled Inuyasha
eww ewww ewww
Sango sighed "so I guess this chapter got us next to nowhere…"
"Mine Fuhrer has a plan!" Kirara defended
"Oh yeah we so far all she's done if bash fnafictions… how does that work when she's bashing fnafiction in a fanfiction?" Shippo asked
"Al shall be revealed next time!" Kirara sighed
But stuff that was supposed to be revealed in this chapter wasn't… geze this writer is going to lose a lot of reviews by playing around like this.
And that's only is a self-important troll doesn't find a reason to report this fanfiction, so read the next update next time and find out how the group escaped the alternate universe parody once and for all… and does Kirara ever stop talking?
I need to give a thanks to Olynthus for helping with teh song fic parody bit and thanks to everyone that reviewed subscribed or has added this to their favs list