Chapter 3

Disclaimer : Naruto is not owned by me

(Omg this auto format is giving me a headache)

Mingshun : "But not in hell am I giving you any more Icha-Icha books."

No way in hell' you mean?

Heh, I meant not in hell. The meaning is the same as 'No way in hell' but when I, at least, am speaking, I use 'Not in hell'. Thanks for pointing that out though.

KitMiyu : Awesome, keep is up this is a good story. I dont know why you dont have more reviews sigh

Thanks for your concern ;)

Hououza : Seems Jiraiya is being rather harsh, but then again it seems to be appropriate for getting Naruto to begin learning.

Jiraiya is the type to hate incompetence. Notice how annoyed he was with Naruto in the beginning of their training (in the manga...cannon? eh w.e). This got to the point of throwing Naruto off a cliff. 'LEARN OR DIE'. This is basically the policy Jiraiya is using here, except he does feed Naruto, though we don't know if Jiraiya would have saved Naruto if Naruto really was about to die in the cliff thing.

Taintedlegacy : I hope you make this a naruhina

I'm not going to say anything about pairings. I'm haunted by that fact that the last story I had people vote on pairings, I got spammed with 150 reviews on 'NO NARUHINA'

To people bored of the wilderness theme, this is the last chapter concerning wilderness survival in this arc. After this is Taijutsu and Ninjutsu, so umm...yay!

-I'm trying to keep this as realistic as possible and having Naruto learn how to make a fire in one day was, I felt, pushing it. You're going to be assuming that Naruto furthur developed his skills during my multiple timeskips.

-Also I'm trying to portray Naruto as a child. He's not going to be extremely intelligent and he hates Jiraiya because he feels Jiraiya is making him work. No kid likes to work ;)

-Last but not least, this 'tame training' will last only for another 2-3 chapters. Then it'll become marginally exciting before having a spot of tension. Then he gets to meet Sakura and Sasuke. And Kakashi

-Anyone notice that Jiraiya hasn't gotten Naruto to master the Rasengan at age five yet? ;)

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Waking up the next morning at four o'clock, Jiraiya dragged the sleeping body of Naruto over to the river before tossing him in. Naruto started sinking for a moment before suddenly waking up. "WHAT THE!?"

Spluttering, Naruto started waving his arms frantically as he sunk. "You...blurp...baster...blurp...I CAN'T SWIM...blurp..."

Looking at the child Jirayia laughed nervously before lifting Naruto out of the water. "I knew that. That was your...bath. Right. In anycase I'll be teaching you to float today."

"Now one last thing Naruto, you're going to wake up every morning at 4 o'clock or I'm throwing you into the river."

"NANI?!"

As Jiraiya took a change of clothes out of his pocket for Naruto he shrugged. "Deal with it. Theres no cities for miles around."

That was a blatant lie. In fact, Konoha was only a few days journey, even for a non-ninja, away. but Naruto didn't know that. "I hate you."

"We have three hours until breakfast. I'm going to give you a list of edible plants and roots. I want you to memorize it. Once your done or if you get tired, you still have my pamphlet on how to arrange sticks."

As Naruto read the list, Jiraiya produced a fishing rod along with bait and started fishing. A few moments into it, Jiraiya was irritate to hear snoring. 'That IDIOT'.

Taking his body, Jiraiya dunked Naruto's head into the river before throwing him next to the pamphlet. "Don't fall asleep. Understand?"

Muttering darkly, Naruto continued to read the pamphlet. When Jiraiya had three fish, he put his rod away and took out his notebook and a pencil before he started scribbling furiously.

Naruto looked at him curiously. "Hey watcha doing?"

Jiraiya looked at the boy out of the corner of his eye. "...I'm writing a story. Go read."

Accepting the answer at face value Naruto's eyes went back to the third entry.

"Blueberry

How to Identify : Are blue

Edible : Yes

How to prepare : Edible raw, can be used to make other things like jam"

Sighing Naruto proceeded to the next entry. Reading it over and over again Naruto had memorized nine edible plants and the entire pamphlet on making a fire. Jiraiya shoved a whole fish infront of him. "Eat up. Today will be tougher then usual."

When Naruto was done with the fish Jiraiya told him, "Okay, your fed. Now tell me five different edibles on the list."

Naruto ticked them off, along with the other three he knew. The last one seemed to have faded as he ate the fish. "Uh, I know you can eat apples, blueberries, nettles, carrots, leeks, carrots, goose berries, and mayapples. Goose berries sound soo weird."

Jiraiya twitched at the last comment. "Good job, you've exceeded my painfully low expectations. Now we start the next part of our training."

Naruto looked up, eager, "Really? What!?" 'I hope I won't have to learn how to learn how to gut fish or something gross.'

Jiraiya took out a shogi board, a chess board, and a chess board as well as their respective pieces. "Tactics. There are no weak soldiers under a good commander said the Yondaime Hokage. You're going to learn to be a good commander Naruto."

Pointing at the boards and the scattered pieces, Naruto asked, "What are those?"

Jiraiya made two clones before explaining, "They're games where you're the commander of an army. My clones will explain them to you while I go...somewhere else. You'll play against my clones until I get back."

Naruto looked at the boards questioningly as the two Jiraiyas set them up. 'Oh boy'.

Approaching the chess set, he sat down and one Jiraiya sat down infront of him.

"Okay Naruto. We'll start by me giving you the historical backround of this game. Chess is a game played by most successful ANBU commanders as well as most kages. I know for a fact that all three Sannin were exceptional at this game. In fact, leaders have actually used the game to settle minor conflicts like border intrusions. Whoever won the game won the confrontation."

Handing Naruto a notebook, Jiraiya commanded, "Take notes on what comes next. These are the rules of chess"

(You can skip this part)

"The eight pieces infront of the rest which are identical are 'pawns'. They can only move forward one square at a time, unless its their first move, in which they have the option of moving two squares. They can only attack the two squares diagnolly infront of them. In the 'point scale' that calculates the value of pieces and your army, pawns are worth one point. They are like Chunnin and are the grunts of chess.

The horses are knights. They attack in an L sort of pattern. They're like Jounin I guess because there nothing else that fits the category. They are valued at three and a half points.

The pointy thing is a bishop. They're like ANBU assassin teams as they have an unlimited reach through the battlefield but only diagnolly. Together, both bishops can corner and trap enemy units.

The castles are know as rooks. They are like the Sannin and are very versatile, able to move any amount of distance both vertically and horizontally. They are valued at five on the point scale.

The one with the crown is the queen. That is the Hokage and is your second most valuable piece. It can move in any direction and is valued at nine on the point scale.

The last piece with the cross is the king. That is Konoha, and you must protect it with your other pieces. If it can't move because all escape routes are covered by enemy units and is also being attacked, you lose the game. A special move with the king is if you have never moved it or one of the rooks next to it, if you can get all the pieces in between out, you can 'castle' your king. This offers your king decent protection from a rook to the side and pawns to the front."

Jiraiya peeked at Naruto's notebook and saw...he had drawn a squirrel. "BAKA!"

Naruto quickly pulled the notebook out of Jiraiya's reach. "Hey, I heard what you said, I like my squirrelly."

Jiraiya sighed and dragged Naruto to the chess set. "Your black. You go second. White always goes first. Get over it."

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The real Jiraiya had finally returned three hours later with a small trickle of blood running down his chin when he was greeted by the sight of his two clones sitting around an unconcious Naruto.

Jiraiya asked dryly, "Was he hungry again?"

One Jiraiya clone looked at him, "Nah. His head hurt to much and he passed out."

"Thats just great, gimme a second and I'll wake him up."

Disappearing again for a moment, Jiraiya came back into sight with a dead deer draped across his back. "Okay guys, dismissed."

Selecting one of the many piles of firewood Naruto had left up, Jiraiya quickly mounted the deer over the fire with splints before roasting it. Predictably, Naruto leaped up as soon as the smell of cooking food reached his nostrils. "Raiya! You're back! With food!"

Jiraiya laughed, "Yep, now after lunch I'm going to teach you how to get fresh water and if its not clean, how to filter it."

Naruto instantly talked back, "Yeah? Don't we already have fresh water?"

Jiraiya smacked him on the head, "Yes, but what if we didn't and you needed to find some?"

Naruto ahhed in understanding before asking, "Whens lunch?"

Jiraiya turned his splint as he answered, "You get lunch when you learn how to float in water."

Naruto's eyes bulged, "What?!"

Jiraiya sighed as he tugged Naruto over to the river before turnning and walking over to the lake that the river lead to. "You know, I've probably sighed more in these three days then I did last year? You know why? You have no skills. I swear that I'll beat those skills into you or so god help me."

Throwing Naruto into the lake, Jiraiya barked, "Take a deep breath and HOLD IT!"

Naruto struggled against the water while spluttering but eventually managed to get a breath. As he held it, Naruto noticed he was sinking and just as he was about to panick, he felt his body bob back to the surface. As he was dragged up onto shore by Jiraiya he spat out water before muttering, "Sugoi!"

Shaking his head Jiraiya pulled Naruto back to the campsite. 'Jeez, that moron.' (Jiraiya is never going to acknowledge Naruto is five.)

The deer was now smoking and a slight charred smell permeated the air. Dousing the fire with a water jutsu convinently done while Naruto's back was turned to avoid questions, Jiraiya cut a piece out of the deers leg and presented it to Naruto. "Here, for almost drowning. Again."

Accepting it gratefully Naruto ate it quickly, and as Jiraiya ate his own piece, he got Naruto a set of dry clothes. When they were both done, Jiraiya took Naruto down to the lake again. Jiraiya laid Naruto on the grass before lying down next to him. "Your next bit of training. How to relax. Look at the clouds Naruto, fall asleep, just don't move from here for the next hour. This is important as it lets you unwind from a day of training...or missions when you're older."

Naruto grinned as he looked at the clouds and in a blink of the eye, he was asleep.

He was shaken awake sometime later by Jiraiya and as he opened his blurred eyes, he was greeted by the sight of a sunset.

Jiraiya smiled gently when he noticed Naruto staring at the myirad of colors in the sky, and lifted Naruto up. "Come on kid, one more lesson, and you can go to sleep."

"Mmm...Hai Jiraiya-sama."

Jiraiya shook his head in wonder, 'He called me sama. Sleeping must really decapitate him...'

Settling themselves down on the lake, Jiraiya pointed at the lake and then at the river. "Naruto, if you wanted to drink water, what would you drink it from?"

Naruto yawned, "The lake, cuz theres no fishes there."

Jiraiya groaned. "Uh, no. Not only are there fish in the lake, the water in the river is cleaner. Since the water in the river is constantly moving, dirt and ick don't have a chance to concentrate in river water. Also, springs of water are usually better then river water because when it flows through the earth to get out of the ground, the earth actually filters the water for you."

Naruto nodded, as Jiraiya continued, "And last but not least, just don't drink water that looks disgusting."

Naruto lamented, "No duh."

Jiraiya smiled in anticipation, "Oh good, you've learned well. Okay then, you just sleep here, I have to go...somewhere, ta-ta!"

As Jiraiya hurried away into the sunset, Naruto shrugged before plopping down on the ground.

Snore...

Snore...