Jon: I swear to god, it's hard to keep myself together when I think back on this- guess we're lucky this is radio and not TV! [laughs]
Have you ever seen a cat, like, toss a bird up in the air and let it fly around a bit, just to swat it down again and bite it's fucking neck? Yeah, I wanted to fuck with Tyler a little bit. So as we locked up I pulled his t-shirt over his head. He swung at me, but I managed to get it off him. It was still looped around the chain though, of course. I pulled it towards me a bit, then grabbed the lighter from my pocket and lit it on fire. Normally Tyler's eyes aren't readable, but I wish you could have seen them as he watched that shirt burn. God, Ring of Honor doesn't pay that shitty so it's not like he can't buy other shirts, but you would have thought I'd lit his fucking dog on fire! So as he's watching the last of his shirt burn away he just closed the gap between us in two steps with those fucking gazelle legs of his and legit clocked me with a wicked right hook. Like, my vision went white for a second. And he grabbed the collar of my shirt- it was one of those black ones that buttons in front with the dragon on one side and flames and shit- you know what I'm talking about? And as my eyes came back into focus I realized he had my forehead pressed against his and I could feel his ragged breathing. He was right in my face. And in that real quiet voice he said, "you're a fucking bastard," and then he, like…
...Hulk Hogan-ed that dragon shirt right off me. [laughs]
Interviewer: And personal stylists everywhere rejoiced. [laughs]
J: Hey! Don't make fun of my highly sophisticated wardrobe, jackass.
Anyway, I can be pretty graceful when I want to be, not graceful like Tyler mind you, but still. So the next couple things I actually did in one motion. First, with one arm I grabbed the carabiner and yanked Tyler off his feet. He's a high-flyer and graceful as fuck, but get him off balance and he's like a ton of fucking bricks. [laughs] You'd think a pro-wrestler would have put up more of a fight, but god he wanted to fuck- it wasn't even funny. So I pulled him off his feet and drug him to his knees right in front of me, and without even looking behind me I just clipped the carabiner to a piece of iron-work on the edge of the table so he couldn't fucking go anywhere. And these tables are cemented to the ground remember; so he REALLY wasn't going anywhere. [laughs] He's kneeling at my feet, chained to the table behind me, and with my other hand I break my empty beer bottle against the table. Tyler's eyes got so fucking big right then, it was hard not to laugh. In fact, I did laugh a little under my breath as I was pressing that fucking bottle against Tyler's throat. Initially, I had the bottle right under his chin and sort of pushed his face up to look at me.
He stared straight into my fucking soul with those black eyes for, like, a full ten seconds. Then he closed his eyes and said, "please don't hurt me," but he said it all weird, like it's what I expected him to say given the circumstances. The next part I could tell he was really into though, "I'll do anything you want." Like, I was pretty hard at that point; but listening to his sweet voice practically beg me to let him at my dick was all the invitation I needed to escalate this, fast. I let the bottle trail down his neck a bit and his chin followed. Now let's be honest, I've never gotten head in the middle of a dog collar match before, so we were moving into unknown territory for me, but like I said before I've got this chaotic evil character I can play when I'm turned on and I've played this encounter out in my head a thousand fucking times. It wasn't too hard to get my belt undone and my fly open without moving the bottle. Dog collar, belt, doesn't matter- Mox has it covered! Tyler's eyes kind of fluttered open as he heard the zipper on my fly, and that's when he caught sight of my dick. God, those black fucking eyes. OK, I'm not Ron Jeremy, but I know I'm pretty big, so I was floored when Tyler just fucking sucks down my shaft like I'm nothing, right down to the base. Like, his forehead actually rested against my abs for a second.
I had one hand against the side of his head and the other had the broken bottle against his neck and this is the exact moment I knew everything I'd thought about Tyler up until that point, about us both getting off on pain, was absolutely fucking true. Because I told him in my most menacing voice, "Suck it." And I could feel him shutter so I knew he was scared, but instead of sucking he reached up and squeezed my balls. Like, hard. And when I pressed the bottle so hard against his neck that I could see the tiniest drops of blood start to form at the glass points, he bit down on my cock. Like not hard enough to really injure me, but hard enough to hurt. I'm sure my face was priceless. [laughs] Man, hit me enough times in a wrestling ring and I feel like I'm a fucking god. Hurt me during sex though, and I AM fucking god, like Zeus or something. So my body was fucking reeling and that's when he started sucking. He's so fucking good at it I didn't think I could last long, but every time he felt me tense up he just held the base of my cock and paused at the tip until I calmed down a bit, then went back to it. And I didn't force his head- I don't think I could have choked him anyway- but I did pull on his hair and pressed that bottle up against his gorgeous neck until there was obvious blood running down his chest. And he was totally getting off on it, moaning against my cock. Shit. There are no words in the English language to explain how fucking good that feels. It was like the beginning of every fantasy I'd ever had about him.
I know he didn't go down on me for that long, but it felt like a fucking eternity. And as he was blowing me, the tiniest little insane thought worked it's way into my brain- that if I didn't come soon I was going to completely fucking lose my mind. Like, I was going to drown and my head was going to fucking break and I'd never be a functioning human being again. I've never said this to anyone before or since, but I looked Tyler right in his black fucking eyes and said, "Let me come you fucking bastard, or I swear to god- fuck this bottle- I will god-damn strangle you." And you know what? That fucker grabbed the base of my cock and sucked up my shaft, like, insanely slowly. All the way off. Then he just sat there and smiled at me- with the dog collar and the chain and the bottle against his neck and the blood and everything. Fucking smiled. I almost dropped the fucking bottle. So I stood there for a second in total shock, then I was like, "Why are you fucking smiling?" And that bastard looks at me and says all nonchalantly, "Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head." And with that he wrapped both hands around my dick and sucked me so fast my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I had to clamp my free hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. Fuck. I don't think I've ever come that hard, like, from anything. Not from a hundred random drunken skanks, or even from the most violent, fucked up scenario my street dog brain had ever imagined with Tyler. I wasn't expecting that, honestly. For it to feel that fucking good, I mean. My knees gave out then and I sort of sank to the ground and my head was tilted back but my eyes were still closed, and I had this vague recollection that what Tyler had said was from the book "Fight Club." That crazy fucker.
Without opening my eyes I hooked my finger through the loop on the front of Tyler's collar and crushed his lips against mine and I could taste myself on him and that was the first time I'd ever kissed another man. He shoved his tongue down my throat just like I'd imagined at the beginning of every fantasy I'd ever had about him. I was just fucking lost like I had jumped into that pond by my apartments when I was a kid. And I was drowning, but it was too late to stop this fire- the heat was going to fucking consume me….
….
I: ….Wow. So you keep mentioning that things were happening as if they were the beginning of every fantasy you'd had about Tyler Black. He sucked you off- was that not the entire fantasy?
J: Oh fuck no. Not by a long shot. Like I said, I'm a sick dude. I realize having a guy blow you while you're chained to him with a dog collar and trying to slit his throat with a broken bottle would be enough for some people, but that's not the full fantasy that played out in my head. Not for Colby. Not even close.
I: You mean Tyler-
J: Shit! Yeah, I meant Tyler, sorry. Hey, should I continue with the story? I realize I'm a bit more graphic than your usual guests. We can end the interview now if you want. I'll even stay and talk to the cops! [laughs]
I: ….You know what? I'm not gay, but this story really fascinates me. Like, I'm almost afraid to ask, but I feel like we're personally invested in you now- what was the rest of your fantasy? Did it play out like you'd imagined? Like you said, Tyler Black doesn't have a restraining order against you and you're both still alive. I may regret this, but I want you to finish the story. [laughs]
J: OK fine, you asked for it. [laughs] For the year or so that my brain had been stuck on Tyler Black, I wondered if I could make someone come from just pain. Like, not from fucking them or sucking them off, like just literally hurting them until they came. Turns out it's harder than I had envisioned- but it was so fucking worth it. Still wanna hear this?
I: Holy hell. Well, I guess we're into the late night hours now, so why not? Luckily we've got one more break. Stay tuned folks, when we return Jon Moxley explains how he almost killed Tyler Black! Guaranteed to help you drift off to sleep! [laughs]