When I woke up, the first thing I was aware of, was that my shoulder hurt something fierce. Even when I sat up, the pain shot through my whole arm, causing me to cry out. That was when I was aware that I wasn't alone. I turned my head slightly, and saw the whole gang in that small, bleach white hospital room. There was another bed in there, and in that bed, laid Sodapop Curtis.
"Hey," Two-Bit said gently, like he was talking to a wounded animal. "Don't move too much, you're hooked up to all sorts of wires."
I looked at my hand and saw two needles stickin' out of it. I winced, wishing I could pull them out.
"How is he?" I asked. I realized as soon as I opened my mouth, that I sounded way too tired.
"Still out," Two-Bit sighed. "How are you?"
I was confused about the question.
"Uh," I stared at him blankly. I couldn't put everything together just yet.
"You were shot, tore up some of the muscle in your shoulder," Darry informed me. I looked at him funny, vaguely wondering why Michelle was curled up in his lap, her head buried into his chest.
"I was?"
"You don't remember?" he asked, his eyes widening. I shook my head.
"What do you remember?" Pony asked. He looked tired and it was clear he'd been crying.
"I remember…" suddenly it all came rushing back at me. I leaned back, groaning softly. I felt myself begin to tremble.
"Hey, it's okay," Steve said gently. Too softly for Steve. When I opened my eyes, I saw that he looked sad. Really, really sad.
"It's not," I moaned. I sat up again, pulling the IV from my hand. Which was stupid, because as soon as I did, my hand started to hurt.
"Just where do you think you're going?" Darry asked.
"To make a phone call," I muttered, trying to stand.
"Good luck with that," he grunted. I looked at him funny, then realized what he meant. As soon as I went to stand, my knees gave way. Steve shot him an angry look after he caught me and pushed me back onto the bed.
"Who you need to call in such a rush anyhow?" Darry asked angrily. He blamed me for this.
"Judith," I sighed, leaning back on the pillow. "She'll want to know."
"We already called her," a new voice came. I turned my head to see a nurse coming into the room. "Good to see you awake, Jo-Anna Beth," she said pleasantly.
"Stuff it," I muttered. I was mad. And sad. And worried something fierce.
"Aren't you a kind little one," she smiled sadly. "You're gonna have to take it easy. Your shoulder is pretty torn up. A few weeks of rest is just what the doctor ordered," she said lightly.
"What about Soda?" I asked, sitting up again.
"You saved his life, you know that?" she said with a sad smile. I saw Darry's expression soften as he looked at me. "Your fast thinking is why he's still with us. By all standards and technicalities, he should have bled to death. You did more for him than anyone would have thought."
Though her tone was gentle, I realized how serious it was.
"Is he…will he…" I couldn't say the words.
"He'll make a full recovery," she promised. "He won't be moving around much the next few weeks, but he'll be good as new in no time."
"You swear?" I asked. I wanted to kick myself for sounding like such a child, but this was my best friend we were talking about.
"I swear," she said with a smile. "Now, I don't recommend walking around much, but I know you aren't going to hear it, so do me a favor and try to take it easy, alright? There's a phone at the nurses' station you can use, and I'm sure you can track down the police easily enough."
"The police?" I asked, dumbfounded.
"Well yes. I'm sure you'll be filing a report, that man needs to be caught," she said sadly. Suddenly, I felt very, very dizzy. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard.
"He got away?" I asked, feeling sick.
"Well…yes," she said carefully. I couldn't believe it. How could he have…
"Jo-Anna?" her voice sounded concerned. I couldn't force my eyes open. I couldn't breathe.
I'd seen my sister scared before. It wasn't fun. She was so scared after our mom died, that she didn't say much to anyone for a long, long time. But seeing her lay in that hospital bed, gasping like that, it scared me something fierce. I clung to Ponyboy, who was tryin' his best to keep me from crying.
I don't know which scared me more. Knowing the man got away, or knowing that my sister was scared. I think the later was the real problem. Jo normally didn't get scared. She normally didn't cry or get spooked or nothing. She was our strong rock. She was our other mom. But seeing her that scared…it made me want to cry for her.
Right when I was about to cry, Soda started to stir, so I focused on him. He looked pale, but his eyes danced when he saw us staring at him.
"Who died?" he asked, his eyes catching our grim expressions.
"You almost did, little buddy," Darry said softly, stroking his head.
"I did?" he asked, laughing softly at the thought. He must have been in pain then, because he gasped and grew quiet after that.
It was strange how quiet the room got. Then, out of nowhere, my sister sat up, her eyes wide.
"What's wrong?" Mary asked, her voice cracking. She looked damn close to tears.
"I'm tired of it," I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I ignored the pain in my shoulder as I slowly crossed the small distance and rubbed Michelle's back. "I'm sorry you had to see that, little girl," I said gently when she looked up at me with big, horrified eyes.
"Sissy," she wailed, almost falling off Darry's lap. I tried to pick her up, but it proved impossible with my right arm in a sling. Instead, I knelt down, ignoring the pain that was threatening to knock me out again.
"Listen to me, Mickey Mouse, everything's gonna be just fine, you hear? You're gonna sit here an' listen to Darry and the rest of the gang and your sister 'till I get back, ya hear?" I said softly.
She nodded, tears in her eyes. "I come too?"
"No baby girl, I can't carry you right now," I said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I gotta make a few calls, then I'll be right back."
"Who you callin'?" Soda asked, giving me a funny look. I glanced at him, feeling tears threatening to well in my eyes.
"My work…your boss…uhm…whoever else needs to be called," I sighed. "Then I'm talkin' to the cops and sending one of them over to lock up the house."
"Why?" Steve asked.
"'cause we might not got anything worth stealin', but I sure don't like the idea of someone stayin' there while we're all here," I said carefully. "Anyway, it's gonna take ages to get all the-," I stopped when I saw Mary go pale. Instead I said "It's gonna take ages to convince the doc to finally let me see the outside world."
"Someone's goin' with you," Darry said matter-of-factly.
"I will," Steve volunteered. "I need a weed anyway."
"Good," I said, spinning slowly towards the door. "Two-Bit. C'mere a second," I called. He followed me and Steve out the door, no questions asked.
"Sup?" he asked as soon as we were out of earshot.
"I need Tim's number. Buck's too," I said softly.
"Why?" he practically screamed.
"Because, I need someone to keep their ear to the ground for a while. I ain't bringin' my sisters anywhere near the house 'till I know it's safe…" my voice broke.
"What happened in there anyhow?" he asked. "Steve only told us bits and pieces," he said, shooting a look at Steve.
"I'll tell you later," I sighed. "Just run the numbers to me when you figure them out," I said harsher than I intended. I was tired and not feeling too hot. He simply nodded and disappeared as I turned to walk to the nurses' station, Steve in tow. When I got there, my head was starting to ache something fierce and it took all my strength just to stay upright while I dialed the number to my work.
"Hello?" a familiar voice answered.
"Mark?" I asked, just to be sure.
"Jo-Anna! Are you alright?" he asked, his tone nothing but concerned.
"I'm fine. Listen, I know I promised to work the doubles this week, but I just can't. Not right now. I'll let you know when I'll be back in," I said tiredly.
"Don't you worry one bit, Jo-Anna Beth, you take all the time you need. My condolences to you and your family. And tell Sodapop to get better soon," he said softly. Gently.
"How did you know?" I asked, throwing a look at Steve who only shrugged.
"Shoot, the whole town knows. Haven't you seen the news?"
Suddenly my heart sank. I felt so dizzy, that I was sure I was going to fall down right then and there. I hung up the phone and leaned heavily against the desk.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked, a look of concern crossing his face.
"This is bad, really bad," I whispered.
"Jo, what happened?" he asked, his voice rising. I shook my head and slid to the floor, feeling sick.
"Miss Cedar, we have some question to ask-," a man's voice boomed.
"Not right now," Steve said, crouching next to me, his eyes showing exactly what he was feeling. Anger.
"It's important we talk to her while -," again, Steve cut him off.
"Don't you see that she's not up to it right now? She just lost her brother and father in the same fucking day, give her a few hours to get over that, would ya?" he snapped angrily.
"Don't you take that tone with me, young man," the police officer snapped.
"What's going on out here?" Darry's voice boomed. Before I knew it, he was standing in front of me, his fists balled.
"I just need to ask her a few questions," the officer sighed. He backed away, almost as if he was afraid of Darry. Then again, I wouldn't blame him if he was.
"She's upset. And hurt. Just give her some time to recover, please, sir," he said as kindly as he could. The officer finally nodded and stormed off, a look of frustration crossing his face.
Steve and Darry exchanged a look while I pulled myself to my feet, shaking something horrible. I started towards the exit, then changed my mind and walked out into the waiting room, breathing hard. I sank to the floor in a dark, quiet corner and pulled a cigarette from my jean pockets. That was when I really saw it. My pants were soaked in blood. Whose, I wasn't too sure.
I must've looked like something out of a horror movie, because no one other than Steve came anywhere near me.
I took a long, hard drag off my smoke, letting the smoke fill my lungs, really letting it soak in there. Normally, I didn't smoke much, but lately…well lately life's just been worse than usual. I didn't say anything, just sat there smoking, ignoring the ache in my shoulder, ignoring the nagging headache even more.
If it was all over the news, then everyone knew. And if everyone knew, then social services knew. I wasn't sure whose family I was more worried about. Mine or Darry's.
The last thing I wanted was for him to lose his brothers, all because my family can't get it's shit together. It didn't seem fair.
For the first time since my mother died, I really wondered if my friendship with the gang was going to cause them more harm than good. And that thought made me want to puke. Because had it not been for the gang…for Soda especially, god only knew what would have happened.
"Golly," Steve said, breaking my thoughts. "You're shaking something fierce."
I shoot him a look, but said nothing. Instead, I wrapped my good arm around my knees, silently letting a few tears finally slip loose.