I was lying on the couch later that night when Greaser suddenly got up and sniffed the air, as if he was trying to find something. I rolled over to look at him, but made no move to follow him as he wandered into the kitchen. It had been far too long of a day, and I was far too tired to deal with him. I was almost asleep when his soft barks woke me up.
"Let the dog out," Darry's voice traveled down the hall. I groaned and rolled off the couch, my head clouded with sleep as I wandered into the kitchen and opened the back door, letting Greaser push past me. As soon as he was outside, I closed the door and stumbled blindly back into the living room, falling onto the couch, sleep overtaking me so fast, I was sure I was asleep before I even hit the pillow.
"Wake up Jo," Darry's voice called early the next morning. I groaned and buried myself deep into the pillow, too tired to even fully wake up. I felt someone shake me, calling my name again.
"No," I moaned, curling into the couch. I was exhausted. It had been a very long night.
"You gotta get up," Darry said, shaking me a little rougher. I groaned and sat up, blinking sleep from my eyes. The morning sun shined through the front windows, nearly blinding me. I groaned and closed my eyes, nearly falling forward as I slipped back to sleep.
"Rise and shine," another familiar voice said bleakly. I opened my eyes again to see Two-Bit, clade in a black suit. It wasn't often that Two-Bit dressed up. Slowly, everything came back to me. It was the day we would bury my father and brother, only a few rows over from the Curtis's parents. That thought alone made me want to go back to sleep and never wake up.
I stood up tiredly, remembering that I put Greaser out in the backyard at some point during the night. I opened the front door, a sad smile on my face when he sulked inside, looking like a kicked puppy.
"Go lay down," I told him as soon as he tried to get under foot. I grabbed a cup from the cabinet and poured a cup of coffee, drinking it way too fast. The hot, bitter taste snapped me awake. Soda was in the shower, so I walked back into the living room, sitting down heavily on the couch, trying to force myself to stay awake.
"You look like crap," Pony chimed from the doorway. I shot him a dirty look, but couldn't help but laugh when I saw his tie was crooked.
"C'mere," I motioned, patting the couch next to me. He sat down, giving me a funny look when I fixed his tie.
"Anyone remember how to tie one of these?" Soda's voice rang from the hallway. I got up and walked over to him, quickly tying his tie for him.
"How'd you learn to tie ties?" he asked, giving me a goofy grin.
"My mom always said guys never remembered how to tie them. So it was up to us girls to keep the men in our lives looking sharp," I laughed at the memory. I was 10 when she told me that. I remembered giving her the biggest grin, just trying to picture Tyler or Tommy or Darry or Soda in a suit and tie.
"Your mom was right," Darry laughed, having the same problem Soda had.
"Come down to my level," I laughed. Darry had a good foot and a half on me, so he had to stoop for me to be able to even out his tie. Once he was done, I wandered into the bathroom, sort of annoyed to find that there was no hot water left. I took a fast, cold shower before getting dressed, fighting with the zipper. I looked in the mirror, not surprised to see the dark circles under my eyes. It was hard to even try and look decent with the sling keeping my right arm in place, but I didn't care. My shoulder ached, but didn't hurt as bad as it did a few days before.
"You've got company," Darry said as he knocked on the bathroom door. I opened it, surprised to see Michelle in his arms. "Social Services decided to let them ride with us." I smiled, kissing my baby sister's forehead.
"Hey little girl," I smiled, ruffling her thick, curly hair.
"Jo, why does Greaser look so…clean?" Mary's voice traveled down the hall. When I saw her, it almost broke my heart. She had a pretty nasty shiner over her right eye, her left cheek was bruised and her lip was swollen. She had her long, curly, strawberry blonde hair tied back. The dress she wore was the same one I wore to our mother's funeral all those years ago.
"Because he got a bath," I sighed. "Greaser's a hero, don'tchaknow."
"I heard. Everyone at the girls home insists on having him," she laughed. "Does this mean we get to keep him?" Her eyes were begging me to say yes.
"Yeah, sure," I nodded. "You know, I'm talking to Judith tomorrow about getting you two back," I added sheepishly. The new house would be in my name as of the morning, and I was more than ready to bring home my sisters.
"Really?" Mary said excitedly. "How'd you manage that one?"
I quickly gave her a rundown of the conversation I had with the lawyer, while feeding Michelle pieces of scrambled eggs. She seemed to be the only one who was actually hungry that morning. Of course, halfway through I saw what Mary meant when she said she was going through a biting phase. Every few minutes, she'd clamp down on my hand, giving me a funny look with those big, blue eyes of hers.
She smiled brightly at the news, but seemed to remember that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. We still had an uphill battle before us, starting with the funerals.
We all piled into Darry's truck. Michelle sat up front with Darry and Ponyboy, while the rest of us climbed into the back. The weather seemed to match our moods, the sky dark with clouds. Even Greaser was coming with us. He laid down between Soda and me, his head on his paws.
At the cemetery, I held Michelle on my left hip, while we gathered around the two caskets. Both were tightly sealed. As the minister went over the final words, I watched on with sadness and desperation.
"Would the family like the say any final words?" the minister asked gently. I handed Michelle to Soda and stepped forward, kneeling beside my brother's casket.
"You were so fucking brave, you know that? You never knew when to shut your trap and let fate run its course. I hope the girls take some of your courage these next few weeks," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "I love you, Tommy, more than I ever dared to admit." Tears fell from my eyes as I laid a hand on his casket. I didn't say a single word about my father. He was a cruel, heartless man, and I didn't really care that he was gone. Maybe, deep down I did, but in that moment, all I felt was hate.
I returned to my friends, took hold of Michelle again, and watched as Mary stepped forward, bawling her eyes out as she said her final goodbyes to her older brother and father.
We watched in silence as the two caskets were lowered into the ground, beside our mother and Ty, where for once, they would rest peacefully forever.
After the funeral, I found myself heading directly to the more familiar plots. I sat down on the damp grass as a roll of thunder rumbled in the background. I placed a hand on the headstone, my heart sinking.
"Damnit, I wish you guys were still here," I found myself saying, despite my will to only think it. "I really need you, Martha," I sobbed. She had been like another mother to me all those years. "It's not fair. Blow after blow after blow."
"You got that right," Soda said, coming to sit beside me. I knew he and the rest rarely visited their parents. It was too hard, even after all this time. Soda put an arm around me, and even long after the rain began to fall, we sat there, quietly lost in our own thoughts.
It would be almost 3 years before we returned to that spot, only when we did, it'd be bringing good news, not sad, bitter tears. Even as Michelle crawled into my lap, her head resting on my chest and tears falling down her cheeks. Even as Mary sat between Soda and me, crying bitterly. I found myself wondering if there was hope. I wondered if there was something to all this heartache. Because if there wasn't, all this was for nothing, and nothing good comes outta nothing.
Darry let us sit there until the rain started to pour down on us. Then he scooped Mickey up in his arms, before telling the rest of us to get up. Slowly, one by one, soaked to the core in rain, mud and tears, we went back to the truck, no one really saying much of anything.