I was either going to write one long chapter or two and in the end I decided to the latter, Good: You get to read it a week earlier. Bad: There was a reason I wanted to join the chapters together and that's because I feel like this one is the chapter " I have to write" to get to the good parts which hopefully will be seen in Chapter 7 ;)

Chapter 6

Nightmares, everything he feared that could happen; he experienced it and the time he spent asleep felt like years; it changed him. He didn't care if people didn't understand anymore.

Magnus had fallen asleep quickly after lying on his bed but Alec didn't know it was because of the spell he had used made him exhausted. Seeing that he had been immobile for two days Alec defiantly didn't want to stay there anymore so he sat up and got out of the bed quietly to leave the room but when it actually came to doingthat it seemed that his vision blurred and he ended up sitting back down on the floor. He felt so ill Alec didn't know what to do; he wished he could roll up into a ball and just fade away into nothingness. The closest thing to fading away minus death that he could think of was sleeping but after what he had experienced Alec never wanted to sleep again. Being a shadow hunter a logical thing would to use a Iratze or some other type of rune but even the thought of that brought him back to the room where Jace´s rune kept him in that nightmare. He was so frighten of everything right now it felt like someone was purposely trying to push him over the edge.

"DAMN YOU!" he screamed as he smashed his fists into the floor hard enough that they started to bleed. He felt so angry with the world, was he never meant to have a good life? Alec felt like someone was mocking him, pushing him to his limits to see whether he would kill himself; somehow it seemed like a good offer.

Hearing a scream Jace bursts through the door to find Alec on the floor; awake but something seemed off so he walked towards him slowly and then offered him his hand "Need help getting up?" he asks.

Just looking at him made Alec shiver all over, this boy who he used to have a crush on still looked like an angel to him, his eyes were honest gold orbs in the dim light and his hair formed a halo around his sculptured face, - He looks too innocent, too trustworthy- he thought sadly – It can't be real- his head told him.

"Go" Alec said forcefully "leave me alone". "Huh Alec, I was just trying to be nice" Jace shot back. – See, he´s already showing his true colors- he thought. Looking right into Jace´s eyes he felt like he really hated him right now. "Well, don't" Alec said with a twisted smile he´s seen Blake use many times "I don't need people like you" he continued. "You remember that we are paratabai, right?" Jace remarked but Alec didn't seem to react well to that reminder as he started to pull at his hair in frustration. Alec could see Jace back out of the room from the corner of his eye and what felt like a moment later he returned with company.

Looking at him Jace didn't feel like Alec was his paratabai anymore, something was very different about him in a way that made him seems more fragile but at the same time dangerous. Long since he could remember he had always felt secure with Alec, knew Alec enough to understand the way he thought but now that was gone, it was like he was looking at a stranger.

Isabelle ran up to her brother and gave him a big hug looking relieved to see him again and welcoming the warmth he held her as well but something was bothering him, Jace was still standing by the door looking at him strangely. It frightened him so much that he pushed his sister away "Iz, tell him t-to leave" he stuttered, Isabelle's mouth moved in response but what she really said got toned out by something else "What are you talking about? Jace. You need to fight with him." And it was like she had pushed him off a cliff once again, the feeling of failing and failing till he couldn't take no more.

In a quick move Alec gained all his current strength to stand up and ran for the door but since Jace was blocking the way he ended up jumping on top of him and pushing him to the floor. In one move Jace flipped Alec over and trapped him by bending his arms behind his back but that only made Alec go hysterical. "Let go of me!" he screamed as he struggled then managed to punch Jace in the stomach hard enough that he let Alec go, he got up and realized that in his condition he had no more energy to even run so he leant against the wall facing his siblings. Isabelle looked shocked and was about to say something but Alec interrupted "It´s just I can't trust you anymore!" he wailed.

Isabelle knew something was defiantly wrong with her brother, Magnus had manage to wake him up but it seemed like he only did half the job since Alec was anything but fine –Where is that warlock?!- She thought in frustration. Alec was currently backed up against the wall breathing shallowly like he was about to faint. She couldn't stand to see him like this any longer so she turned around and went running back to Alec´s room, looking around she realized that the warlock in question was actually on the bed seemingly sleeping, she shook him urgently but he wouldn't wake up. Desperate, she then slaps him around the face. – That did the tick- she thought proudly.

Magnus woke up to see Isabelle in front of him all wide eyes and worried, "Where's Alec?" he asked feeling uneasy from the look Izzy gave him, then he understood the situation and hit his hand against his head annoyed at himself "fuck, did I fall asleep?!" and wasted no time getting up. He found Alec just a little bit down the hallway; he was sitting on the floor immobile and had black liquid dripping out of his mouth. Magnus leaned in front of him so he could pick the weak boy up but he surprised him by suddenly grabbing at his t shirt, "Kill me!" he pleaded as more black liquid poured out of his mouth "I don—t wan-ta live like th-is". Magnus quickly embraced him tightly – had the poison affected him so much and is it still? – He thought – Am I just making him suffer?-.

Blake was sitting in his friend's living room, one of his only friends he had bothered to keep since they had something particular in common. Her gray eyes bore into his "I called you round for a chat but it seems like you not very talk able today, what's that matter?" she asked while fiddling with her brown hair. "I´m not in the mood for socializing" Blake admitted "Usually when the fun dies down I lose interest but I can't seem to let it go". "What are you on about?" she asked confused and so he continued "You're not right for me and never will be so leave me alone. That what's been going round my head, I can't help but think this is some kind of punishment" he pondered. "So it's about a girl?" She guessed.

Blake smirked "Actually it's about a certain male shadow hunter".

It had been around an hour and in that short space of time Alec felt a lot better, Magnus used a spell that had relived him from the pain the poison was causing but on the negative side he also explained its permanently going to be flowing through his veins and that his body just had to get used to having demon substances in his blood over wise it's over. He was in the lounge sitting in a large chair and Magnus was also sitting in one directly in front of him, he was too close for Alec´s liking since their knees where touching and he could practically smell the warlock.

Alec also came to the sad conclusion that since shadow hunters are humans born with angelic blood and now that his blood was mixed with the enemy's he couldn't exactly be classified as one anymore witch put him in no mood to be interrogated and Magnus seemed to be doing just that.

"Babe" Magnus pleaded reaching out for him, "Don't touch me" he threatened "I just told you—I don't know. The demon looked normal to me". "There must have been something" Magnus insisted. "Why does it matter, it's too late anyway!" he shouted annoyed "What's done is done." – Go away, as soon as this mess is sorted out you're going to leave anyway – he thought sadly – I guess I will just corporate and get this over with as soon as possible, it might hurt less that way-. "When one of the demons cut me I knew something was wrong straight away, it was too painful and by the time I got home I was cold and tired" Alec told, "Wait…Demons? There was more than one and you didn't think to call for backup?" Magnus inquired. "No…I was-n't alone" Alec said quietly, a pause, "Who was with you then?" Magnus asked. – What should I say? - Alec thought in panic - From what Blake has said I don't think Magnus likes him much either but ….is it my problem anymore?-. "I was with Blake" he said looking directly into Magnus´s eyes.

Magnus took a deep breath in and then leaned his forehead on his hand – Calm down- he thought – You knew he was going to say that, you're the one who failed to take him back – he told himself. Raising his gaze to look at Alec once again he was struck by a terrible feeling; guilt, the boy in front of him still cared whether he hurt his feelings or not even after what he did, "I know" he said simply as he leaned in closer so now that he wasn't even on his chair anymore, in fact he was leaning on the edge of Alec´s chair so their faces were centimeters apart, all he could see was his blue eyes and all he wanted to have was him. Alec´s moth opened slightly to protest but Magnus took that chance to slam his mouth against the boys. He was invading his mouth pushing his tongue inside while running his hands through his messy hair, even thought it was weak he could tell that Alec had his hands on his chest trying to push him away - I don't blame you- Magnus thought but still lacked the restraint to let go.

Alec didn't understand why, he once thought that Magnus was a nice person but he was seriously doubting that now, - Does he think he can just come on to me when he wants?! -. He was trying to push Magnus away but all of his weight was against him and the more he tried the more frustrated he got, - what's happened to me-. He was getting nowhere, so he decided to simply give up and before he knew it Magnus backed away, "Wouldn't it be great if we got back together?" Magnus asks doubtful that at the moment Alec would agree to it. The shadow hunter who had lost all hope after the breakup thought that Magnus wasn't being serious, that even if he said yes the warlock would just retaliate something on the lines of too bad we can't so he stayed silent.

Magnus decided to take the silence as something positive – At least he didn't right out refuse me- he thought as he did not have a comeback anymore if the answer wasin fact no, he had almost forgotten why he broke up with him in the first place. It was scary loving someone but what's worse is losing them.

In the hour that passed Blake had told her of his relationship with Alexander in detail and the fear he has that Alex was going to amend things with the sparkly warlock. She understood his concerns but quizzed him as to why he dislikes the warlock so much when she knew that nothing obvious has happened between the two of them.

"After all these years it's hard not to turn cold, that´s why I don't like Magnus he makes me jealous and annoyed." Blake explained "He still feels so much and yet instead of enjoying what he's got he just throws it in the gutter because he's scared of losing it. It doesn't make sense to me; it's a waste feeling anything if he's just going to act cold anyway. "

"But me, I'm longing to find a special someone that makes me feel alive again."

When you said your last goodbye,
I died a little bit inside.
I lay in tears in bed all night,
Alone without you by my side.

But If you loved me.
Why did you leave me?

Take my body.
All I want is, To find somebody.

All I want - Kodaline