Hello again! So, the stories prior to this one probably haven't been very juicy...so that's all going to change with this one! YAY! Since I'm not particularly good at writing juicy scenes, I had some friends of mine-GingerificFabulousTime and CrimsonNight41-help me with this one. See if you can tell who wrote what ;) As always, thanks for reading and following and such. THANK YOU and ENJOY!
Scenario: L's curious (collective effort from GingerificFabulousTime and CrimsonNight41)
L was thinking as he scarfed down his third raspberry tart, staring at the computer screen, what do people taste like? He almost slapped himself, how dare he think that? Who was he, BB? No, he didn't mean it like that, he just wanted to know; do people taste as good as tarts? Why do I care? He thought, that's just weird. Light was right, you are a freak...
As if a curse from God, Light began to speak from the other end of the chain, "L, why are you staring at me?"
"Oh, sorry Light, just thinking," although he hoped Light would never find out what he was thinking. L continued to think. What would Light taste like...? Probably evil. Yes PURE evil. He was positive. What about Misa? She'd probably taste like idiot, whatever that happened to taste like. What about BB? Ehhh. Probably like dead people...or maybe just jam. I don't know his dietary habits. Hmmm, what about Mello? Who am I kidding, he tastes like chocolate all the way. Matt on the other hand probably tastes like an ash tray, which was sad because he was not bad for a ginger.
He wondered what he tasted like. I assume I taste of cake, cookies, maybe strawberries...definitely cherries...perhaps cheesecake? Of course chocolate cake...
"Will you stop staring at me?! What's your problem?!" Light exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Light."
"Yeah, well, it's okay I guess," Light hated to admit that he didn't mind L staring at lord, what was wrong with him?! Snap out of it! Light thought to himself. Wow, well that never happened before.
Just as Light's thoughts were going in a creepy direction, Mello and Matt walked through the door, carrying a box of cheesecake and a couple of coffees.
"As you ordered, Master," Mello said sarcastically, tossing the box on the coffee table.
L nearly screamed. "WHATAREYOUDOING?! How dare you!" He cuddled with the discarded cheesecake box. "It is a delicate piece of desserty deliciousness!" Mello rolled his eyes absentmindedly, beginning to chomp down on a chocolate bar. "Oh, Mello," L collected his emotions that rarely showed, "what does Matt taste like?" he cocked his head to the side.
Mello's eyes widened, his jaw slightly ajar. He yanked out his gun (like he always did when he felt threatened) and pointed it at L. "What do you mean by that, L?!"
"No need to get alarmed, I was just wondering." L began to nonchalantly collect cheesecake on his spoon. "I mean, all of us are geniuses. We know what goes on between you two." Just as Mello began to get more horrified, Light chuckled to himself.
"Oh, sure Light, keep laughing. We all know about your stupid crush on L!"
A mortified Light went sheet white. "I-uh...ha, that's so idiotic, Mello...hehehe," he said with nervous laughter. This made even Matt raise an eyebrow (and he wasn't even paying attention. He was too absorbed in his PSP game). L's eyes seemed to grow wider than his usual panda-like eyes.
"Is this true, Light?" L asked calmly as he always did.
"Uh...well...I—uh—just...admire you, L," Light lied convincingly. Phewww, that was a close one...
"Right, and I'm gay for Near." Mello flicked his perfectly golden hair out of his perfectly ocean blue eyes. Matt swooned internally (hehehehe).
"Terrible choice, terrible choice." Light shook his head.
"Are you an idiot?" Matt asked, puffing on his cigarette. "Mello obviously hates Near...and glorifies me! MWAHAHA!"
"I GOT YOU, BABE!" Mello exclaimed, imitating Cher. He then caught Matt up in an overly dramatic embrace, causing Matt to nearly choke on his inhalation.
Light's eyes widened as his mouth formed a small O. Then a faint flush crept over his cheeks and he hastily looked away.
L chuckled and stuffed another bite of cheesecake in his mouth. "It's rude to ignore their performance, especially since it was done especially for you, you know."
"How would they know what I'm into?" Light said rhetorically. Light glanced between L and the other two, realization dawning on him.
"Maybe you should clear your computer history more often. 'Gay porn' is not something that screams, 'I'm straight!'" L counterattacked.
Light's face turned to a lovely shade of flaming hot Cheetos and stayed silent.
Mello released a sputtering Matt, sniggering at Light. "You really are so clueless, sometimes, Light."
"Okay, people, so anyway," L cleared his throat, "back to the subject at hand which I have been pondering for a while now: what do people taste like?" Everyone looked at L as if he was suggesting they all have a girly, frilly, unicorn-filled cuddle party.
"You mean, like, literally, 'cause you might have to ask BB about that one." Mello responded.
"No need," came a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see who had spoken. Light did a double-take as Misa walked through the door, a Versace bag slung over one shoulder. "Just ask me!"
Silence reigned for a long moment, during which someone coughed and scuffed their shoe. "Do I want to know why you know this?" Light asked suspiciously, giving her a look out of the corner of his eyes.
"I think we all know the answer to this one," L mused in his typical detached voice. "Light, do you, by chance, sleep with your door unlocked?"
Light glanced over at L's hunched figure in bemusement, while Matt and Mello exchanged knowing looks. "Why would...? Oh. Oh. You mean...?"
"That's right!" Misa chirped, winking and shooting him with her finger gun of love. "I snuck into your room while you were sleeping!"
"You what?" Light asked with a mixture of dismay and mounting ire. "Oh no. Don't tell me you...you licked me while I was sleeping?!"
"Well," she began, placing a thoughtful finger on her bottom lip, "I don't know that I would exactly say that I licked you..."
"WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT I TASTE LIKE AND THEN SAY YOU DIDN'T LICK ME? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" he wailed, clutching his head.
Mello collapsed against Matt in fits of hysterical laughter, slapping his thigh. Still gazing around the room with her usual clueless cheer, Misa clapped her hands together gleefully. No doubt she was reliving the encounter, they all figured.
"Well, I may have been a little bit tipsy, but I think I just kissed you a bit, and then there was the s—"
"NO!" Light shrieked, covering his ears and stomped his feet rapidly against the floor. Everybody let him spaz out for a minute in peace, before he managed to get himself under control.
Taking deep, cleansing breaths, he removed his hands from his ears and examined them as if to ascertain that there was no blood on them. Then he proceeded to calmly meet Misa's worried gaze. "I'm sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Now, you may proceed. What, pray tell, did you do to me while I was sleeping?"
L looked at him with mild concern, not entirely convinced that he wouldn't revert to childish tantrums once Misa finished with her tale.
Misa, on the other hand, changed to ignorant bubbliness in the blink of an eye, apparently convinced that Light was going to be okay. "Oh, nothing much, I just kissed you a bit—okay, a lot—and then I saw your sculpted abs and couldn't resist licking them, and sucking on your cute nose and cheeks—"
Light screamed again and collapsed on the ground in the fetal position, twitching sporadically and digging his fingernails into his scalp as he tried to claw the image from his mind. "My mind, oh, my poor, ruined mind!" he moaned. "Why?"
The others looked on as he whimpered pitifully in a ball on the ground, sympathetic expressions on their faces as they turned bright red with the effort of containing their laughter. Misa scampered over to him, hands fluttering in concern as she crouched next to him.
"Light, honey, are you okay? Did I say something?"
"Of course I'm not okay!" he spluttered. "You just raped my mind! Why did you tell me that?" he moaned. "Why? Oh, my poor mind..."
"You told me to," she said obliviously, attempting to pat his shoulder condolingly.
"Oh just shut up!" he yelled.
L cleared his throat yet again. "Misa, what did he taste like? Evil, perhaps?"
"What? No! He tasted like...Justice! Sexy, delicious, JUSTICE!"
L's jaw dropped. Surely she was just bluffing. There was no freaking way he tasted like justice. If anything, L tasted like justice...and sexiness of course...maybe a little mysteriousness. He shook his head, clearing his mind. He knew he would have to test his theory out himself. Whatever that implied. Who knew? Maybe this would solve the Kira case.
"I have a suggestion..." L paused. "I will have to test this question myself...on you guys." He pointed to them. They all stammered and shuffled their feet.
"Alright," Matt said, "I'm down for this." Everyone looked at him as though he just suggested everyone take a chance at licking Near. "C'mon, this could be fun. How about we play Spin the Bottle?"
"What is this 'Spin the Bottle'?" L asked. What stupid game was this?
"Well, I suppose, since we have no bottle, we could just use my cigarette, or maybe Mello's chocolate bar." Matt quickly regretted that suggestion, feeling a gun gently tapping his "family jewels." "Never mind, we can just use my cigarette. If that'll work," he mumbled to himself. "Okay, well everyone get in a circle." Everyone (except Misa, who stumbled out to her doom, Light was sure) reluctantly sat in a circle as commanded to do by Matt. "Okay, now." He placed the cigarette in the middle. "This is exciting!"
"You still haven't told us the rules, Matt," L exclaimed.
"That's because you're the only one who doesn't know them!" he managed to calm himself after his violent outburst, "Okay, anyway, so, L, all you have to do is spin the cigarette and whoever it points to is the one you have to kiss."
"Whoa whoa!" Light objected, "I'm not kissing any of you!"
"Oh please, gaywad! We already know your secret! Just be happy this is your chance! Besides, would you rather have one of us lick you?" asked Matt.
Light thought about that for a moment. Hm... Everyone began to question Light even further.
"Okay, okay, we'll just stick to kissing," With tongue, he wanted to add, but regrettably did not. If we're making this interesting, at least make it really interesting. Besides, I haven't made-out with anyone in a while...
"Well, let's have L go first, he's new to this," Matt chuckled. L spun the cigarette, Light silently prayed to himself that it would be him that would get to make out with this mysterious beast of sexuality...he shook his head, okay, that was gay, even for me. L spun the cigarette which landed on... Light. Perfect, he thought to himself, now I could solve this case once and for all! Needless to say, Light had a brain spasm. You know, the good kind.
"Um, Matt?" L said almost embarrassed.
"What? Changed your mind, have you?"
"Oh, no," that was a shock to all of them, "I just have a question for you..."
"What?" L scampered over to Matt, a hushed tone to his voice.
"Matt, how do you kiss?" Matt had to choke back a guffaw. Seriously, the smartest detective in the world didn't know how to kiss someone...well, it's not like L had anyone to kiss, but Matt figured that was a simple thing to learn. But then again, why not make this interesting? Hahahaha...
He scooted L in closer at whispering distance and began saying, "Okay first you..." L nodded with every detail Matt gave him. It sounded simple enough. He casually staggered on over to Light, in that usual walk of his, and crouched in front of him. He took a deep breath. By Matt's descriptions, this would take some gusto on his part.
Gently, he cupped Light's face with one hand. Light's eyes grew wide as L leaned in close. Then, he pushed light onto his back and placed his knees on either side of Light's hips and his hands on either side of his head. The boys behind them began to start up a chant of L's name, but neither boy heard it as they were too distracted by what was unfolding. L placed a trail of feather-light kisses from his collarbone up Light's neck, flicking his tongue out against the underside of his jaw. Then his mouth returned to the base of Light's neck, where he flicked his tongue against the hollow at the join of his collarbones.
Light's breath hitched, and his hands automatically went up to clutch L's surprisingly hard biceps. L trailed the kisses up to Light's temple, and then over to his cherry-red ear. He gently teased the top of his ear between his teeth, poking the hollow of his ear with his tongue.
Oh gosh. Ohhhh my gosh, Light thought erratically through the pulsing of his heartbeat in his head. What is this? Why is he so good at this...? Or should I say, how does he know this stuff? I could've sworn that he'd never made out before... Ohh boy. I am making out with L. This is L, the most famous detective in the world! But...why is this so...erotic? Why am I feeling this way? Why does the pit of my stomach feel so squirmy? And my pants...let's not even go there.
L grinned slightly as his lips traveled down to the hollow below Light's ear. Matt really knew what he was talking about, he mused to himself. I can feel Light's pulse beating faster. And his face is as red as the Maraschino cherries. But I don't taste anything yet...
Next, L placed a line of kisses to the corner of Light's mouth. Unable to control himself, Light moaned as L closed his lips over Light's. L was taken aback as Light began to kiss him back, but didn't stop following Matt's masterful instructions. His tongue slipped between Light's lips, where it began a slow dance with Light's.
L adjusted his position so that his chest was pressed against Light's while his hands slid between their stomachs and pushed Light's shirt up. He was surprised by how defined Light's abs were, and wondered idly if the rest of his body matched. Certainly, he could feel the muscles in his chest beneath his fingers as he brushed them higher. Light slid his hands around to L's back, and then lower...and lower...
At this point, the other guys were gaping in morbid fascination at the scene unfolding. Even Matt felt his face flushing a little and found it a little difficult to keep his eyes on the pair on the floor. However, he was unable to tear his gaze away, as though it were a train wreck. Should we...leave? ...Nah. I must watch the fruits of my labor and wisdom unfold to their entirety. Yes, I must be here to critique my protégé, to the end.
Light could barely think through the fog of ecstasy and raging hormones that clouded his mind. What is the meaning of this? Am I...in love with...with L? Surely not...
After several more minutes of deep, passionate kisses, L pulled away. Light lay there, breathless and stunned, a glazed look in his eyes. If it was even possible, his face flushed even redder as he fixed his shirt and propped himself up on his elbows.
L stood up and straightened his own clothing. Thoughtfully, he turned to face the other guys, who hastened to wipe the drool from their gaping mouths.
"Uh, well done, L," Matt stammered. "As expected of you, there is nothing you are second-rate at."
L turned back to gaze down upon Light. With a calculating expression on his face, he tapped his finger against his chin. "Hmm, yes. You, Light Yagami, taste like evil!"