Hello my darlings! Have you ever wondered why L and Light were chained together? I mean, was it really necessary? Well, being the fangirl I am, I'd say yes. The only thing that could make it better is if someone else was there too. Yes, of course! BB! Let's see just how much L can take with the two of them together! As always, thanks for reading, following, etc!

Scenario 5: L is chained to Light and BB

Why did I get myself into this? L asked himself as he tried to get BB to stop drooling all over him and Light to cool it with the sassy comments. To solve the case, he answered himself, solving this case is more important than—ugh, BB, stop licking me! He pushed BB's face away from his. As soon as L managed to get some breathing room, Light pulled on the chain, causing BB's face to ram into L's again.

"Haha! L and BB sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Light began to sing, continuing to pull the chain so BB's lips rammed into L. Truth be told, Light really didn't care if he kissed him, he just loved to see L squirm. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then—"

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" L uncharacteristically yelled, bolting towards Light. How dare he embarrass such a distinguished detective?! Naturally, BB was glad Light pulled the chain closer and closer to L. It served the dual purpose of makkin' with his darling L and creeping Light out every once and awhile by staring at him with his dark ringed eyes. Plus, he couldn't be blamed for it.

Before Light had time to react, L was on top of him, choking him with the chain that bound the three men together. Basically being a caveman, Light kicked L in the "family jewels" causing L to roll over to the side in agony.

"That's right!" Light said, standing, "I'll make you a soprano you son of a—"

"LIGHT!" BB screamed as he pounced on him, the thump of them hitting the floor echoing in the room. "HOW DARE YOU HURT WHAT BELONGS TO ME! I WANTED TO USE THOSE LATER!"

"BB!" L shrieked in a voice that sounded preadolescent.

Much to L's discontent, BB continued, punching Light in the face as he said, "How dare you touch his sweet junk! You-you HEATHEN!"

By this point, the three men were rolling around in a pile, a hot mess of sorts. The sound of the chains rattling was reminiscent of a horror film scene. As of now L was trying to stop BB from killing Light, but that wouldn't stop BB from wrapping the chain around Light's neck.

"Stop it BB, I need him alive!" BB froze.

"W-what? But darling, I thought...I didn't know you and he—"

L face palmed as he heard the struggled breathing of Light, "Ugh, you idiots! No, BB, I need him alive to prove that he is Kira!"

"Oh!" BB sighed in relief as he removed the chain scarf Light was currently being strangled by. "Darling, now I know that there's only room in your heart for me!" BB bolted towards L, embracing him, smothering his face with kisses, "That's why I'm chained to you isn't it?!"

L tried to push him away, "No! I need you here because I suspect you too!"

If only for a moment, the three of them sat in silence, none of them touching or even looking at each other. BB couldn't help but smile at the thought he just had. Trying not to make any noise, he grabbed the chain and pulled—hard.

Light was pulled towards L at speeds he didn't know was possible for a human body to move. That was why he couldn't stop what was already set in motion. His body was suddenly stopped by a warm face attached to his; lips smashed into L's. GAH! He thought as he pushed him away. But BB kept pulling, again and again.

"L and Light sittin' in a tree—" BB began to sing. Rather than fight it, L sat, the bags under his eyes feeling even heavier as he endured what felt like hours of torture.

The only form of torture that could have been worse was sleeping with these two men. Because there were three of them, it was hard to squish them all on one bed, but L was not one to quit.

So that night, after hours of him "sittin' in a tree" with the two of them, they were ready to retire for the evening. For one of the first times in his life, L was actually exhausted. It was like being a full time babysitter, only worse because the babies were actually full grown men who were the potential killers of thousands of people. Not to mention they were very clever...

L could see a fight happening before his very eyes. BB and Light were arguing about the sleeping positions. Light was very much a I-like-to-sleep-alone person. L had various scenarios as to why that was. He's a wanker...along with being Kira of course. BB unfortunately was a spooner, clinging to anything and anyone he laid next to. L on the other hand barely slept (as shown by his discolored bags), so he wasn't particular as to how he slept.

"You know what?!" L said as the two grabbed each other's collars, getting ready to punch, "I'll sleep in the middle. You two obviously cannot handle sleeping next to each other." With much cursing under his breath, L crawled in between the two. "Now everybody shut up." Normally, L was very nonchalant, but he could only take so much irritation in one day.

With that, Light and BB grumbled to themselves and tucked their bodies underneath the covers. Light made a pile of pillows to separate L and himself while BB threw his arm and leg over L, cuddling him like Koala bear hugs a tree. With a barrage of pillows on one side of him and his doppelganger on the other, he sighed, closing his heavy eyes in hope of sleep.

As warmness surrounded him, the tug of sleep beginning to take hold, he heard mumbling coming from his left: BB.

"Light..." he mumbled. "Noooo...stop..."

What? What did Light do to you? he thought to himself, turning to BB. "No BB," L said in the best Light impersonation he could do at this hour, "I won't stop...what is it that I'm doing?" Yeah, nailed it.

"You..." he lightly thrashed his arms, "Don't write my name."

Write my name? What, like in a diary? In a tattoo on his chest? On his heart perhaps?

"No, BB, I'm going to write it...in...in." He stumbled across his words. In what?!

"Don't write it in the...D..." Aha! Diary! I knew it! That man really was a wanker! "Death note." Gasp. L turned to Light who was curled up on his side, facing away from L. So that was why all those people were dying. The Death note! He had heard of them before. Light had always mumbled those words in his sleep. Maybe, just maybe, I could get him to talk...

L gently prodded Light. As soon as he did so, Light spoke, "No, I don't want to pick up the soap..." L knew he was twisted, not that twisted.

"Too bad," L said in the best impersonation of an evil guy he could think of...coincidentally, he sounded just like Light, but that was beside the point. "Tell me why you're here or-or I'll force you to pick up that soap!"

"Nooo...okay...I'll talk." He ended the sentence with a snort.

"Start talking Hot Pants."

"MMmmkayy...well I...killed a few..." Yes! Confess you no-good, street-walking hussy! "bugs...mmmbuggies." Ugh. This night is going to be the longest night in my life.

L was right. As if in a Twilight Zone episode, the two talked throughout the night, as if having a conversation with each other as L listened. When morning finally came, L found himself underneath the two men. Light was fast asleep on top on L and BB was on top of Light, making breathing for L an impossible dream. But that was when he felt something. Something...stiff. Oh God! The morning! He wanted to kick Light and BB off of him, but that was when he realized that that stiff thing was no body part (much to his relief). It felt like...

He traced his fingers around Light's chest and abdomen, hoping he would stay asleep. That would've been awkward. He carefully slid his fingers up Light's shirt. The minute he did so, Light's eyes shot open, screaming as he fell off the bed, dragging BB with him.

"Light, what do you have under there?" L hopped off of the bed and tried to peel off Light's shirt.

"No my darling!" BB covered his eyes at the sight of his love trying to get it on with another. But there was nothing he could do.

"Nothing! Nothing's there!" Light said as he slapped L's hands away sissily, like in a cat fight; like a two-wussy-men fight.

"I know something's there! I know you're not just happy to see me!" With that, the fabric of his shirt ripped, revealing a black notebook. L gingerly picked the book up, eyeing it like it was a newfangled cheesecake recipe. It read: Death Note.

Jackpot.