Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Assassin's Creed.

Warning: AHHHH! My favorite book series newest book is shipping to me within the weed and I'm super excited for Assassin's Creed 3 to come out, but I'm not pre-ordering it, only because my parents say they will get it for me (I get good grades) and the price goes down after a month or so. So… yay! Anybody else think that Connor's going to be an awesome-ass character? Yeah, me too. Anyways, this really isn't a warning so much as a fan-gasm. So, I'll shut up now. Language in this chapter. Also, slightly adult themes.

I also re-uploaded chapter 11 with beta-ing.

OPEN YOUTUBE AND CHECK OUT THIS SONG!

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights, I call it a draw
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know anymore...
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style

And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? mmm... mmm...

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end
Cause I could use some friends for a change
And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights, I always win, I always win...

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
What do I stand for? What do I stand for?
Most nights, I don't know... (come on)

So this is it? I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?

(Come on)

No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like this one, so come on
Oh, come on. Oh, come on, OH COME ON!

Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home; Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?

My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call "love"
When I look into my nephew's eyes...
Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...
Some terrible lies...ahhh...

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

The other night, you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up, but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... oh...
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... oh...

"Some Nights" by: Fun.

Believe In Fairy Tales – My beta. She's awesome (in case you haven't gotten the memo yet.)

Chapter Eighteen: A Little Thing Called Doubt

I woke up with a nagging feeling in my gut – something about today was off. When I got up, I immediately stubbed my toe and felt dizzy. My arm hurt from swimming yesterday too. I groaned and put my head against the cool floor after I got dressed. I must've slipped out of consciousness because next thing I knew somebody slammed my door open. I looked up slightly and groaned again; the room was spinning and the figure was blurry.

I dully noted that my infection was probably spreading in my arm after being stuck in dirty water. The figure hauled me up, but I couldn't find it in me to support myself, so I stayed limp. The figure shook me lightly and I lolled my head back slightly. The figure called something out loudly and I screamed in agony before dropping to the ground and clutching my head. It felt like somebody was driving a rusty dagger through my skull with a hammer. My teeth clenched and my brain rattled. Through the pain I couldn't help but think about how disappointed The Mentor and Malik would be of me. That and how guilty Altaïr would probably feel.

I was set down on the ground gracefully and I immediately put my forehead back to the cool ground and focused on breathing like I was trained to. The door was left wide open while I shook on the floor and whoever was holding me ran out calling something indistinguishable. Next two figures came in. I narrowed my eyes at one of them and recognized Malik, beside him was The Mentor; I could tell because of his beard. Malik picked me up and we started walking quickly to the medical wing… Altaïr joined us halfway there and never took his eyes off me once.

Cien and the doctor looked up the moment we entered the room, but it was Cien who quickly took over, having already known and assessed the problem. She undid my bandages quickly and efficiently started cleaning them; showing neither mercy nor remorse whenever I flinched because she cleaned deep in the wound. Altaïr and Malik hovered while The Mentor wandered off to talk to the official doctor.

"Stupid, stupid, woman. Look what you've done to yourself now!" Cien ranted as she worked quickly. While the numbing salve she put on my arm soaked in, she gave me some tea and made me sit up. I looked at her with a semi dazed expression; still confused as to what was completely going on. Cien caught my hazy expression and slapped me.

Yes, Cien slapped me. Again, I state that this is an Assassin thing. You'd think they'd teach everybody here to throw a decent punch at least. But noooo… everybody still goes at it like two women over one man.

After she hit me my head spun, but I regained my Assassin senses and sent her a scowl. "I trained you and saved your sorry ass, girl." She rolled her eyes and flipped her hair. It was then that I felt guilty; she'd grown up some and I had hardly been around. Between running missions and everything I had barely seen her, even though it had been roughly two weeks since we all got back. No, Cien matured and I wasn't there for it.

"And now I'm saving your ass. I guess we can call it even." She snapped back. I blinked at her slowly. Since when did she become a cynic?

"…okay?" I felt like shit now. At least before I wasn't emotionally wounded. Altaïr was suddenly by my side, putting a damp cloth on my forehead. I almost moaned in appreciation, but decided not to subject myself to any possible embarrassment. Instead I shot him a thankful glance.

As Cien worked on my arm, Al Mualim started talking to Malik, Altaïr, and I. "Good news, Assassins. Not only have we caught wind of the supplier for Trystan, but we've found the location of Kylal himself. Since Kylal is prone to be moving locations soon, I would like him Assassinated tonight. He's bunking out at a safe house about two miles out of town. The weapons supplier is a blacksmith in town who will be assassinated tomorrow. Do you understand?"

We all nodded.

"Good." He nodded curtly before turning to me. "Anima, you are a wonderful apprentice and a potentially great Assassin, however, we simply cannot afford to have anybody on injury right now, so I will give you a choice: start working despite your injuries or leave the Creed."

I blanched. Leaving the Creed was death: they'd hire somebody to track me down in fear of me turning. He knew it too. We all knew it. How could he be so cruel?

"I will work, Mentor." I dipped my head.

He nodded. "I will give you tonight off. Malik, Altaïr, and Kinja will go assassinate Kylal this evening. Anima, tomorrow you, Malik, Raan, and Altaïr will kill the blacksmith."

"Why so many of us per mission?" Malik questioned.

"They are recruiting more experienced fighters, I'm afraid. We'll need to be safer than sorry."

There was a moment of silence before The Mentor left the room, beckoning Altaïr to follow him. That left Malik and I alone, seeing as Cien was off who knows where working with medicines.

"I worry for you, Novice." Malik sat at the base of the bed and looked at me expectantly.

I rubbed my wrist slightly. It felt better now. "Don't worry, I'll heal." I gave him a slight smile.

He dropped his head and shook it slightly, chuckling. "That's not what I'm talking about." I gave him an inquiring glance and Malik met it steadily. "I'm talking about Altaïr and you."

I played ignorant.

"You don't fool me. I see the way he looks at you and you look at him." He sighed. "It's worrisome because I think you two get the wrong ideas about each other."

"How so?" I croaked. This talk was not going as well as I'd hoped.

"Altaïr is… proud and ignorant at times... I'd even go so far as to say extreme when it comes to his actions and emotions. As your mentor, I know for a fact that you don't like being pushed by other people. Altaïr is going to do just that; for better or worse. He is completely oblivious to your beliefs on certain views. He acts and reacts harshly and without any mercy. I fear that you will do more damage to yourself physically, mentally, and most of all emotionally if he pushes you into… situations. You must understand: Altaïr isn't as… mortal… as us. As much as he obviously is interested in you, I fear for you in the fact that he views you more as a valued possession than a lover. Do you understand, Anima?"

I was silent for a moment, "You mean he doesn't care for me?"

"No, I think he cares very much for you, but only as one might care for a lucky piece of jewelry. He doesn't see you as a person… yet." Malik explained wearily.

I nodded in understanding. "So you're saying that I have to put my foot down early?"

"Exactly, I found that you're as malleable as clay until you lose your temper; a bad trait. Just be weary and keep in mind that Altaïr isn't as open minded and merciful as you."

"And by that you mean…?"

Malik sighed and ran a hand through cropped hair. "He is… oblivious… to what makes us human. He doesn't need a reason to kill or act; he just does. Altaïr has one setting: Assassin mode. He is cruel and malicious to all who cross his path. You act as if he had a good side to him."

"He does." I defended.

Malik shook his head, "No, he doesn't. That man is ruthless and intense and immovable in his views… and even you can't change that. As much as he… cares… for you, you're not going to change him. Just like you can't let him change you." He let out a deep breath, "What I'm saying is to be prepared for the extremes with Altaïr and accept it now or leave, because he will come after you. He doesn't lose." My mind flashed back to the night before. "He's not like the other Assassins or anybody you've ever met. He's just as bad as our enemies, except he's fighting for us."

A sinking feeling hit my gut. I couldn't help but hear the truth in his words. "I'll be careful."

Malik smiled and patted my head slightly. "You're smart and learn quickly… There's a reason I picked you as my novice. I trust you will do what's possible, and while I do not fancy the thought of you and Altaïr together, I will not change that. Perhaps you can do some good for him. Now, I must go. Sleep well and be prepared for tomorrow."

Two minutes after Malik left, Altaïr entered. "What did he say?" He interrogated me the second I acknowledged his presence.

"Who?" I responded easily.

"Malik."

I shrugged. "To summarize: You're insane, cruel, a coldblooded killer, and will probably push me past my limits, drive me to my grave, or at least insane. He also said that you were basically a stubborn jackass, but all in all I had his blessing because I'd quite obviously be the brains in this… relationship… because Lord knows you don't have any. That good enough for you?" I mocked him slightly.

He nodded slowly and approached me, learning over me. Tingles started in my toes and I curled them subconsciously. He noticed and smirked. "I'm heading out to kill Kylal soon. I wanted to tell you get better quickly over night." I remained silent. He took a deep breath, "I'm worried for you."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry!" I huffed.

His eyes scanned my face. "I believe you."

"So what about our mission tomorrow? What info do we have on it?" I changed the subject.

"No information. Just run in, kill him, run out."

I nodded. "Well, safe travels, Assassin."

He hummed, leaned down and kissed me. I kissed him back slightly and his tongue worked its way into my mouth. I sucked in a sharp breath and he crawled onto the bed, hovering over me. I tossed a leg over his waist and kissed him back. I was breathless by the time we were through.

"You should probably… uh, go." I stated awkwardly.

He gave me one last kiss on the forehead before exiting the room quickly.

A bad feeling settled in my gut again. Maybe we were moving too quickly? It had been one day after all. My head was starting to ache again, so I slipped into merciful sleep.

It wasn't until the evening when I had to assassinate the blacksmith. I was a little wary, but otherwise fine the next morning. It was the wariness I was hosting, however, that caused me to sneak into The Mentor's office and look through his assassination files. He had every single resident in the town's info shoved neatly into a desk drawer. I found the blacksmith's bio and glanced through it.

There was no record of him selling his products to an enemy. In fact, there was nothing suspicious in his file at all. I read through it carefully; one of his daughters was very sick, however. A small, folded up piece of paper at the back of the file made me suspicious. It stated that he was selling armor and weapons in bulk to an anonymous buyer. He'd just leave his supplies in the back of the warehouse. I blinked slowly. They were paying him a lot. What got me though, was that the man seemed to show no knowledge as to whom he was actually selling his supplies to.

The irony hit my dead on then. The Assassins ordered their supplies in very much the same way. We had a local blacksmith for adjustments and specializations, but otherwise we ordered in bulk under an anonymous sector. Our blacksmiths had no idea who they were selling to; most believed that it was just going to be transported to the king. Not only that, but the blacksmiths didn't have any say as to who they were selling to. Especially if they were trying to make money for a sick family member. This man could've just as easily sold to us. He had no knowledge that he was doing wrong and we were killing him for it when we could've just as easily bought him out to us instead of the army. We all knew that the Assassin order had the coin for it.

A feeling of dread sunk into my gut. The door opened and in strode Malik and The Mentor, both had a very surprised look across their faces when the say me snooping around.

"What is the meaning of this, Anima?" Malik commanded.

I waved the file slightly. "We can't follow through on this assassination. It's against the Creed."

"And what would that be?" The Mentor challenged.

"'Stay your blade from innocent flesh'," I repeated mechanically.

"Do explain."

"This man doesn't who he is selling to! It's the same set up that we have with our buyers, we can just as easily buy off all of his weapons for ourselves!" I explained excitedly.

The Mentor shook his head slightly and I handed the file to Malik. "He is selling weapons to the enemy, he must die."

"He doesn't know he's selling his weapons to the enemy! If somebody tipped him off or bought them, then we wouldn't have to kill him!" I argued.

"We cannot afford to buy his products, nor can we compromise the brotherhood by giving him a hint. He's better off dead." The Mentor threw open the window and a warm breeze fluttered in, but I got the chills.

"That's bullshit!" I spat at The Mentor, whose face had turned into a tasteless look. I saw people in the clearing look up. At this time of day, it was most of the Creed.

"It is necessary." He deadpanned.

"It is irrational! You're punishing them for what they do! Not their reasons!" I screamed.

"What do you mean?" The old man coaxed my rage.

"Well, there's murder, and there's self defense; in the end, one is legal and the other is not! However, it's the same outcome… death! We're killing innocents!"

"Again, I state it is necessary."

"Because we cannot afford to buy his supplies also."

"You know that's not true!" I shouted hysterically. "You are just as greedy as the men we're fighting against. You are corrupt and a fucking hypocrite!" Malik took hold of my shoulders and held me back as I lunged towards the Mentor. "Get out of the bureau for once! Stop fooling yourself and the Creed! Our town is in shambles and it's because we say the enemy is holding the money! It's not true! We have just as much as them. We're supposed to help others and instead we help ourselves! Don't you see that everything around us is in shambles? Don't you see that we're participating to the damage just as much as the people we are fighting? Don't you see the irony? Is that the exception to the rules: power? Is that what the Creed has come to?" My voice was raspy and I was quickly becoming hysterical. Everything was happening so quickly.

If I didn't have any attention from the other Assassins before, I did now.

The Mentor just ran a hand through his beard. "You don't understand."

"Then explain!" I exclaimed.

"You are too young to understand."

"Age is no limit to knowledge!" I argued.

"Just carry out the mission, Anima. That or commit treason and die."

The released of the air from my lungs as if I had been punched in the gut and allowed myself to be dragged out by Malik.

When we got back to my room, Malik looked worried. "You do realize that Altaïr will kill him whether you say so or not." He stated monotonously.

I looked at him with shock, "No he won't. Altaïr will believe me."

"This is what I meant when I talked to you yesterday. Altaïr doesn't care what you say. Altaïr doesn't care what they did. And Altaïr doesn't care if they're innocent or not – no matter what you tell him. This is what I warned you about yesterday."

"No," I shook my head in denial, "Altaïr won't do that."

"Yeah, well he's about to push your beliefs real soon. Get your act together; we head out for the mission in ten." Malik ordered coolly.

"He won't do it!" I called after him.

"You don't know him, Anima." He called back.

I huffed. Altaïr had a heart, Malik just refused to see it.

You're gonna hate the next chapter. Oops. Spoiler. Oh well.

5 CHAPTERS UNTIL THIS BOOK IS OVER!