Disclaimer: I still don't own Pretty Little Liars. (snowballs should though. if you haven't already, go read locum tenens. seriously. you're welcome.)
Big Bad Pet Names
Emily loves Paige. Like really, really loves her. In a way that she's never loved anyone before. In a way she couldn't love anyone before. Paige is smart and funny and beautiful and she doesn't even know it, which makes Emily love her even more. The point is, she loves Paige. She does. And she hopes that people remember that if she ends up accidentally strangling her.
Obviously, she wouldn't actually strangle Paige. Maybe give her a love tap or something, anything really,just to make her shut up. Because she won't shut up. Usually, it's fine, Emily encourages it actually. Paige has spent years keeping things to herself and it never ended well. Emily prefers talkative, stuttering, bumbling Paige over the quiet, mysterious, if somewhat sexy alternative. But Paige's current topic of conversation...is less a topic and more a list of pet names she's trying out. And by more, she means that's exactly what it is. That's all it's been all weekend.
It was her own stupid fault. 'Babe' slipped out without Emily even thinking about it. She was trying to get Paige to shut up and it just slipped out. Ever since, Paige has been trying to find one that works for them all weekend and Emily thought, hoped, she would forget about it once Monday rolled around and she could put her focus back on school. So far, no such luck. Granted, the first bell hasn't even rung yet, but the drive over was already too much for Emily to deal with. She's pretty sure she heard the word schnookums come out of her girlfriend's mouth.
"...buttercup? Cupcake? Ooh, what about kit-kat?"
That stops Emily in her tracks. She didn't think it could get worst. She turns around to face her rather annoying - at least this particular morning - girlfriend. "Paige, I'm not a snack."
Paige smirks. "I beg to differ tater-tot."
Before Emily has a chance to shoot down yet another disastrous pet name, a grinning Hanna bounces over towards them.
"Ooh, is this some kind of kinky lesbian sex thing?" Hanna wiggles her fingers.
"Hanna..." Aria nudges Hanna's shoulder.
"Inappropriate." Spencer finishes, standing next to Paige.
"Well...?" Hanna tries again, quirking an eyebrow, grin still firmly in place.
"Hanna!" Spencer scolds.
"What? You said inappropriate, not that I couldn't ask."
"No," Emily says quickly, wanting this conversation to be over before it can get started. Bringing Hanna into this would only make it worst.
"Yes."
"Paige!?" Emily narrows her eyes at her vigorously nodding girlfriend.
Paige chuckles. "I'm only kidding, Em," she says, placing an arm around her. Emily pushes it away.
"They don't know that," she motions to her friends.
"We do," Aria and Spencer quickly chime in.
They all turn to Hanna, waiting.
"Right Han?" Aria coaxes the blonde.
Hanna sighs dramatically, looking between Emily and Paige. She seems to find whatever it is she was looking for, a smile, bright and wide on her face. "As far as I know, you eat Snicker bars off of-"
"And we're leaving." Spencer turns the blonde around, pushing her towards the steps of the school entrance.
Aria squeezes Emily's shoulder. "She's only joking Em," she says, before walking off to join their retreating friends.
"I'm not judging!" Hanna manages to yell, before Aria and Spencer force her into the Rosewood High School entrance door.
Emily hopes they haven't caused too much of a scene, glancing around, she's grateful the school entrance is relatively deserted.
"Hmm."
Emily turns her attention back to her girlfriend. "What now?" She's already dreading the answer.
"Snicker bar could-"
"No," Emily cuts her off.
"It's kind of cute."
"We have class." Emily grabs her hand, pulling her along as she makes her way towards the steps. "This discussion is over."
"We have class together." Paige squeezes her hand. "This discussion is just getting started," she states, a devilish smirk taking over her lips.
Emily ignores the folded piece of paper Paige was nudging her leg with. She also ignores her girlfriend quietly, albeit dramatically, clearing her throat. She bends her arm, using her hand to shield her face away from Paige, already knowing what her next move was going to be. Fifteen minutes into class and this was already the twelfth note Paige was passing her. And after the first eleven ridiculous names she conjured up(honey bunch and sweet cheeks being her least favorites), Emily was almost scared to see what this one would say.
Emily moves her leg forward, anticipating Paige's kick. She covers her mouth, trying to hide her laugh, when she feels and hears Paige kick the table leg.
"Shit," Paige mutters.
"Excuse me, Miss McCullers. Is there a problem?" Mrs. Morgan, the History teacher asks her loudly.
Paige quickly shakes her head. "No, ma'am. My foot just slipped."
Mrs. Morgan stares her down. "Right. Well, try and keep the language a little more pg from now on."
There are a few quiet giggles in the room from the other students(and Emily), making Paige blush and bow her head. "Sorry."
"Alright, everyone get back to your papers." Mrs. Morgan waves her hand around, quieting the few still snickering students.
Paige leaves her alone after that, not even glancing Emily's way when she excuses herself to the bathroom. And Emily's grateful her girlfriend is leaving her to her own devices. Or she's grateful until the bell rings, signifying the end of class and Paige throws both her and Emily's bag onto her shoulder and yanks Emily out of the classroom.
"Easy, Paige. We have a few minutes. Slow down," Emily comments, as she pulls at her arm, trying to get the girl to let up.
Paige stops in her tracks, making Emily crash into her back, and spins around, holding a folded piece of paper in front of Emily's face.
"What is t-" Emily stops, recognizing it as the note Paige tried to pass her earlier in class. She folds her arms and shakes her head. "Nope. I'm not reading that."
Paige's shoulders fall and Emily catches her bag before it falls to the ground. "Why not? This one is good, I promise."
"Paige."
"Emily. This is the last one, I swear. And I know you'll love it."
"Ugh," Emily holds a hand out and Paige grins, thrusting the note into her open palm. Emily huffs, slowly unfolding the piece of paper. She frowns when she sees what it says. "Boo?"
Paige nods her head, beaming back at her.
"I don't get it," Emily says, looking back at the note.
Paige sighs. "Because you love horror movies. You can be my boo," she clarifies. "I looked it up online, it's just another way of saying baby, but this works much better."
Emily calmly folds the note. "Paige," she says, eyes still on the note.
"Uh huh?"
"I'm going to be honest with you," she continues, putting the note in her back pocket. She'd throw it away...later. But if she happened to forget, it wouldn't be the worst thing. It was kind of cute.
"Of course."
"I'm tempted to break up with you."
Paige's mouth hangs open. "What? Why?"
Emily rolls her eyes. "I'm kidding," she says, kissing her for added effect. "But I'm not your boo or your baby or...what was that bread one you wrote in class."
"Bun-buns?"
Emily shudders. "Definitely not that." She puts a hand on Paige's shoulder, rubbing it in comfort when her face falls. "Can't I just be your girlfriend? Please? I really like being Paige McCuller's girlfriend."
Paige leans her forehead against Emily's. "You really don't like bun-buns?"
Emily kisses her nose. "I really, really don't like bun-buns."
"Fine. I guess Paige McCuller's girlfriend will have to do."
Emily pulls away, smiling. "We have to get to class. I'll see you at lunch?" She asks, just as the bell rings.
"Yup."
"Okay. Great," Emily kisses her quickly, before making her way to her class. "No more names McCullers!" she calls out, just in case.
"Yeah, whatever!" Emily hears her yell back just as she rounds the corner.
The rest of Emily's afternoon goes on as they often do. Bumping into her friends in between classes, getting a couple of text messages from Paige(all without any offending pet names), telling Hanna to 'shut up and pay attention in the one class they share, and just generally going about her day.
When lunch time rolls around, Emily rushes out of her class and heads to the court yard. Now that the whole...name situation sorted itself out, she was excited to spend time with her girlfriend and her friends without any weird names popping up. She could only guess what Hanna would come up with if she found out about the whole situation.
She can't help but grin when she sees her friends talking, with Paige smack dab in the middle of them.
"...didn't she like it?" Emily hears Spencer ask as she makes her way over to the table.
"Hey!" She greets her friends, kissing Paige and sitting down next to her. "What are you guys talking about?"
"What's wrong with boo, Em?" Hanna asks her.
Oh god.
"Yeah, I think it's kind of cute," Aria adds.
Emily drops her bag on the ground and scoots down the bench to glare at Paige. "I thought we were done with this?"
Paige throws her hands up in surrender. "We were, but Hanna asked about this morning and I tried to make something up, but-"
"She sucks at it," Spencer chimes in, biting into a baby carrot.
Emily pulls her packed lunch out of her bag and drops it unceremoniously onto the table. "You guys, Paige and I already settled this," Emily says, hoping they drop the conversation.
"Ooh," Hanna claps her hands together, her eyes shining. Who was Emily kidding, these were her friends she was talking about. "Did you settle on pookie? I like pookie."
Emily rolls her eyes. "No, Hanna."
"So what did you settle on?" Aria asks.
"Hopefully you settled on one of the more traditional ones. Toby calls me sweetie," Spencer nods.
"Will you all stop putting emphasis on the word settle? It's annoying," Emily tells them, making sure to look each one of her friends in the eyes. This was getting to be too much. Paige lightly places a hand on Emily's thigh, instantly calming her. She blows out of puff of air. "We settled on not having one."
"Well that's no fun." Aria.
"You said settled." Hanna.
"Em, pet names can be a big part of relationships, brings you closer together. It's like a verbal hand hold. There's no shame in having one," Spencer comments.
Emily folds her arms and drops her head onto it.
"Guy, I just don't think we're one of those couples. It's not a big deal," Paige says. "I was mostly joking," she adds as Emily feels Paige move her arm from her leg to around her back, rubbing her hand up and down.
Again, Emily is instantly relaxed. She lifts her head up and looks at her girlfriend. "Really?"
Paige smiles. "Yeah. I was just making fun. I didn't think it would bother you that much." Paige squeezes her side.
Emily leans her head on Paige's shoulder. "It doesn't bother me. It's just...kind of embarrassing."
Paige kisses the top of her head. "No more. Besides, I like saying your name."
Emily lifts her head, smirking. "I like hearing you say my name," she says, the flirty tone to her voice, surprising even her. They weren't really that kind of couple either. The overly flirty kind. At least not right in front of her friends.
"Hey! None of that cutesy, couple-y stuff. Caleb is visiting his mom, so unless one of you are gonna be my snuggle buddy and call me hun...you two knock it off," Hanna points her finger at them.
Much to Emily's dismay, Paige pulls away from her. "I actually have to go see coach, Em. So you're safe Hanna." She kisses the side of Emily's head and stands up, gathering her things. "I'll see you after school?" She asks, looking at Emily.
Hanna grabs one of Spencer's carrots and throws it at Paige, effectively getting her attention. "What? You don't wanna see me after school, sugar mama?!"
Emily's eyes pop out. "Hanna, will you quiet down," she warns, looking around the court yard. Other than a few people looking their way, it looked liked no one heard. Thank goodness, she didn't need them whispering about something else.
"I've been to your girl's house. I'm just saying, I wouldn't be aga-"
Aria nudges the blonde. "Emily's giving you the evil eye."
Paige laughs, shouldering her bag. "I'm just gonna go...that way," she juts her thumb out. "I'll see you later, Em."
Emily gives her a half-hearted wave, her eyes still firmly on her friend.
"What?"
Emily grabs one of Spencer's carrots and throws it at Hanna.
"Dammit, Em! That was my eye!" Hanna cries, rubbing at her left eye.
Spencer's arms shoot up. "Can we all leave my carrots alone, please."
"Can I just have-" Aria stops. "What? I'm going to eat it. Why am I being punished? "
Spencer rolls her eyes, grabbing a carrot and hands it to Aria. "Only because you need to grow," she says seriously, as she pats the top of Aria's head.
Emily laughs as she watches Aria throw the vegetable at Spencer.
"You know," Emily starts, fiddling with Paige's hand that was sandwiched between her own.
School was over and after another 'sugar mama' incident with Hanna, as Aria dubbed it, Emily and Paige were now making their way to Emily's car.
"What do I know?" Paige asks her, swinging her tightly held arm.
"Well, I was just thinking about all this pet name stuff and-"
"Em, we're done, remember?"
Emily ignores her, continuing. "I was just thinking," she repeats, "about how this all got started."
"At the hospital, you mean?"
Emily nods. "Remember I accidentally said babe."
Paige squeezes her hand. "Yes. It was kinda hot."
Emily chuckles. "Right. Well, I was thinking...it was kinda hot when you said it too," she finishes, pulling Paige's arm closer to her body.
Paige stops. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?''
Emily continues walking, pulling Paige along. "I'm saying...it wouldn't be the worst thing if you called me babe every once in a while."
Paige doesn't say anything, just walks along with Emily. She fishes the keys out of her pocket when they reach the car and presses the button, unlocking the door. Emily frowns when Paige pulls her arm out from in between hers, but stays quiet as she watches Paige open the passenger side door. She grins at Emily. "After you, babe."
Emily bites her lip, trying to hide her grin. "Yeah, don't use it up bun buns."
–
A/N: Whoops. That took a lot longer that I wanted it to. Sorry, life was very life-ish. Anyhow, there it is. That wraps up this sort of, but not really two-parter. I think I may have gone a little overboard with the pet names, but it was entirely too much fun and I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, thanks for the...everything, you know. I appreciate it.
I'm slowly getting back into my writing groove. I think reading other people's fics kind of messed me up a little bit, so I've kind of stopped doing that. So sorry if I left reviews and then stopped, it's cause you're too good. Anyways, I have some stuff already written, so hopefully I'll post those soon. You guys really are the best and fic can be so fun to write man.