So, I read The Fault in Our Stars. It kind of destroyed my life, which is why I didn't update earlier. And why this isn't my best chapter.
I do not own the Mortal Instruments. All characters and references belong to Cassandra Clare. Obviously.
Clary felt out of place, surrounded by white in the pristine bridal shop. White walls, white carpet, white furniture, white flowers. While Magnus zipped around the store with a consultant, Clary stood perfectly still, afraid she would degrade anything she touched.
Magnus came by and dragged her into a dressing room. Her eyes immediately landed on the rack in the corner that held at least a dozen dresses and she groaned. "There's no way I'm trying all those on."
"We had a deal, Clarissa. Hurry up and change."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm not changing with you in here!"
"And why not? You're going to need help getting into those dresses."
"Because you're a guy," she lied. She could care less about Magnus's gender. The real reason was all the bruises that covered her abdomen and back that she couldn't let him see. "Besides, there's people whose job it is to help me. Go find one and send them in."
Much to her surprise, Magnus actually did what she said. With a huff, he turned on his heel and stalked out. Once he left, Clary stripped down to just her bra and panties, grimacing at her reflection in the tall mirror on the wall.
Several bruises decorated her stomach and hips. Sebastian had been getting worse lately, but he was at least careful enough not to leave marks on her arms where it would be harder to hide.
A gasp came from behind her and she turned to see Magnus standing there with his mouth open. Clary squealed and tried to cover herself with her hands. "What the hell, Magnus!?" she yelled.
He looked at her with an expression that was a mix between shock and sadness. "What happened to you, Clary?"
"I- I fell down the stairs at the apartment," she stammered.
"Bullshit! Sebastian did this, didn't he?"
Clary's eyes grew wide. He couldn't know. "No, Magnus. I told you I-"
His cat-like eyes hardened. "Don't you dare say you fell down the stairs or ran into a door or any of those lameass excuses. Woman come through my hospital everyday because their boyfriends beat the shit out of them. I know every excuse in the book."
She sank down into the chair that sat in the corner of the room. "You can't tell anybody, Mags. I'm handling it. He's just going through a rough time right now and it's stressing him out. He doesn't mean to do it."
Magnus crouched down to eye-level with her. "You can't stay with him, honey."
"I can't leave him either! He just lost his dad. Without me he'll be all alone." And without him I'll be nothing. "I'm helping him, I swear. He'll get better. Just give me some time."
"You have to get out of there, Clarissa. He'll only get worse. Get out before it's too late."
"He'll get better, Magnus. You have to let me help him," she whispered, tears stinging her eyes. "He won't get better without help. I've helped him stop before, I can do it again.
He sighed heavily. "Three weeks, Clary. I'll give you three weeks. If he's still hurting you, I will tell someone. That's a promise."
Grinning, she looked up at him. "Really?"
"Of course. It's your life and I'm not going to make decisions for you without giving you a chance to make the right ones first."
Wanting a change of subject, she looked at the dresses still hanging in the corner. "I guess we should get this over with, huh?"
Three hours later, Clary and Magnus called it quits. They couldn't seem to decide on anything and were only getting more and more frustrated with each other. Unfortunately for Clary, Magnus insisted they try again on another day. She reluctantly agreed.
They entered her apartment together to find Sebastian pacing the room and yelling into his cell phone. At the sight of them, he quickly ended the conversation and put the phone away.
"Hello, Clary, Magnus. Did you have fun?" he asked sweetly. A little too sweetly.
Clary opened her mouth to respond, but Magnus stepped in front of her and glared at Sebastian. "You better watch yourself, Verlac or your little secret is going to get out," Magnus said calmly.
"Magnus!" Clary gasped.
He looked at her and shrugged. "I'm just warning him, darling." Turning on his heel, he walked to the door. "I'll see you soon, Clary."
He walked out and Clary was stuck with Sebastian, who was gaping at her. She saw the anger that was slowly building in his eyes, waiting to boil over.
"You told him?" he hissed.
She instinctively took a step back. "He saw the bruises, Seb. I-I tried to lie but he wouldn't believe me."
"You could have done a better job at hiding them!"
"Or you could stop making them, Sebastian!"
Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. "God, this is so fucked up. I'm so fucked up."
Cautiously, she approached him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry too much about it. He's not going to tell anyone."
He shrugged her hand off and started toward his study. "Damn right he's not going to tell anyone and I'm going to make sure of that."
"What do mean?" she asked, chewing on her lip.
"Don't worry 'bout it, babe."
Sebastian disappeared into his study, leaving her with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The stale stench of tobacco pulled her from sleep. She sat up in the bed and looked around the room. Her eyes fell on Sebastian, who was sitting in a chair about a foot away from her. A lit cigarette dangled from his mouth and he held a glass of some dark alcohol in his hand.
"Sebastian? When did you start smoking?" she mumbled, still half asleep.
He absentmindedly swirled the alcohol in the glass. "About a week ago," he murmured. "Nasty habit, really. Then again, I'm full of bad habits."
"What are you doing up at," she glanced at the clock, "two in the morning."
"Just thinking. I'm very upset, you know. I told you not to let anybody find out. Secrets are meant to stay secrets, Clarissa."
"I couldn't help it, Seb. He saw the bruises. I already told you. And he's not going to tell anyone as long as you stop."
He laughed and set his glass down on the night stand. "Magnus Bane is never going to tell anyone. I made sure of it."
Her heart beat picked up. "What did you do, Sebastian?"
A grin slowly spread across his face. "That's my own little secret. Now, back to the matter at hand. You disobeyed me, Clarissa, and that makes me very unhappy."
She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. "What are you going to do?"
Smirking, he stood up. "Oh, I'm just going to have some fun with my fiancée and maybe teach her a little lesson."
The warm water cascaded down her body as she stood in the shower, examining the three cigarette burns on her stomach. She gently poked one and winced. They still hurt like hell, even after a few days. But that was the point. They were supposed to hurt.
You feel that pain, Clarissa? That's what it's like when you disobey me. Doesn't feel to good, huh?
She shuddered at the memory. That night had been the worse so far. Pushing the thoughts away, she turned the shower off and got out. She checked the bedroom for signs of Sebastian before quickly getting ready.
Once she looked halfway decent, she left for work. She knew she looked shit. Sleep didn't come easily, and when it did it was filled with nightmares. Plus, she was worried about Magnus. She hadn't seen him in a few days and he wasn't answering her calls. She was terrified about what Sebastian could have possibly done to him.
The whole Magnus situation did teach her one thing, though. She was going to have to go to hell and back to make sure nobody else found out. She couldn't risk their safety, even if it meant sacrificing her own.
She walked into Jace's office and wasn't surprised to find him bent over the Owens case. It had been the same picture all week. He was feverishly going through documents and pictures, taking notes and trying to make a solid enough argument for court.
There were large, dark circles under his eyes and he looked like he lost weight over the past week. Don't let him do anything stupid with this case.
"Jace?" she called quietly.
"What?" He didn't look up at her.
"When's the last time you got a good night's sleep? Or a decent meal?"
He shrugged and she sighed before gathering up all her courage. She marched over to his desk and ripped the file out from under him. His head snapped up and he looked at her with wide eyes.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
She tucked the folder behind her back. "You're tearing yourself apart over this case. Go home and get some sleep. I don't care that it's early morning, you need it. Then, eat. Actual food."
He stood up and pushed his chair back. "Give me the file, Fray."
She shook her head. "No. I promised Maryse I wouldn't let you do anything stupid with this. Getting all worked up and neglecting your health is pretty stupid to me, and I don't break promises, Jace."
He took a step towards her, but she stepped back. "Clary, give me the file. I'm your boss. Do as I say."
She held her ground. "No, Jace. Not until you do as I say."
He slammed his hand down on the desk. "Goddammit, Clarissa! Give me the fucking file!"
Startled, she dropped the folder. He reminded her so much of Sebastian in that moment. He always called her Clarissa when he was angry, too. She dropped to her knees and started to pick up the scattered papers with shaky hands. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." she stammered. He came over to help her and she flinched away.
The familiar sting in her eyes returned. She was such a mess. Everything made her jumpy and reminded her of Sebastian in some way. He invaded her every thought and caused her to live her life in fear that everybody was going to react like he did.
"It's fine," Jace said, his voice calmer. They collected all the papers and stood up. "The question here is, are you fine? You've been really moody lately."
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have some things going on at the moment."
"That time of the month?" Jace guessed with his infuriating smirk.
She gaped at him. "No! It is not that-" She stopped abruptly as realization dawned on her. She was late. Over two weeks late.
"Shit," she groaned.
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