Ed blanched in embarrassment. He'd had to go snooping through the more secluded parts of the library to find the erotic novels but he'd managed to find them. The drawings helped give him in idea of what having sex would be like but he couldn't help feeling nauseous about it. He checked out several, flushing as he placed them on the counter. Sheska gave him a curious and embarrassed glance, "No offense, but are you sure you're old enough to be reading these, Ed?"

He bristled and glared at the elder, "Yes. I'm sure," he snapped.

She nodded silently, despite her flushed face and gave him a brown paper sack to carry them in, so he wouldn't be embarrassed. He sighed and trudged home akwardly. Clutching the bag to his chest like a precious treasure.

His heart pounded heavily despite how calm and cheerful it was outside. The warm breeze seeming to choke him. He was terrified. Sure, he'd sucked on Roy's rather large member, but trying to imagine it inside of him was too much. That part too. It was Roy for god's sake. He wondered if he should try to get a prostitute… it all just felt too personal to have Roy take his virginity.

He entered the dorms and Al greeted him warmly, "Brother! Welcome home!"

"Hey Al," Ed replied, not quite meeting his eyes.

"What's that?" Al inquired innocently, pointing to Ed's paper sack.

Ed flushed and clutched it tighter to his chest. "Just some research! It's nothing really!" he shouted as he dashed to his bedroom. He couldn't let Al see it! He shut the door quickly and leaned against it, his breath coming in heavy pants. He was losing it.

"Brother, are you alright?!"

"I-I'm fine…" Ed whimpered and slid to the floor. He heard the sack ripping beneath his fingertips as they shook. "I'm just gonna nap before I go to Mustang's office…"

"Even on Saturday?" Al asked, "Isn't that a bit much?"

"Al…" Ed whined, shoving his fists over his closed eyes. "Look…can we just talk later? I'm really tired."

There was silence on both sides of the door. After a long moment Ed heard Al's armor slide down the door and rest onto the floor as he was. "What's going on, Brother?"

"I'm tired…" Ed replied. His tone flat as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Why won't you look at me? Why are you hiding?"

"I-" Ed paused and realized what Al was asking. "It's not about you, Al."

"Is it the armor?" Al whimpered. "Is that why you keep avoiding me?"

Ed let out a sob and threw the door open. He wrapped his small arms around the empty suit, crawling to his younger brother's lap as he cried. "Never!" Ed whimpered, "That's not it at all! I'm so sorry, Al…"

Al's glove rested on Ed's back soothingly, "…sometimes, I wonder if this form repulses you…"

"No Al…" Ed assured him. Nothing about you repulses me. You're still my favorite little brother…"

"Then why…" Al asked but stopped as he glanced back into the room and at the bag. It had toppled over and Al could see the crude images on the covers. "Oh…"

Ed could have died. "I'm sorry!" He shrieked, trying to flee, but Al caught hold of him and pulled him back into his embrace.

"No! You're done running from me!" Al shouted, pushing him back onto his lap. Ed fought it but only for a moment before Al overpowered him. He shook and hung his head in shame. His hands shielded his head, until Al's gloves peeled back the smaller fingers. "Ed…the same way that I could never repulse you…you could never repulse me Ed…even if you are exploring your sexuality."

Ed glanced up at him then in shock, "Al-"

"Its perfectly normal at your age, given you're older then me…its puberty Ed…" Al soothed, holding him closer, "Nothing to be ashamed of…"

Ed let himself be held.

He felt dirty, letting Al unintentionally lie for him. He sighed and relaxed, leaning his head on his brother's empty armored chest. "I'm sorry, Al…"

"It's fine, Brother," Al assured him. Ed felt tears sting his eyes, he really did have the best little brother ever.

Mustang watched as Ed slowly opened the door. He was slower. Quieter. He noted immediately that his eyes were puffy and his body limp. "Ed?" Roy called.

The blonde glanced up absent-mindedly, "Hey…"

Warning bells went off in Roy's mind. He stood quickly and went to the teen. He let the blonde shut the door before grasping his shoulders gently. "Ed…are you alright?" Ed nodded quickly, not looking at him. "Ed…" Roy prodded, tipping his chin upwards, "Look at me…" He did. He looked exhausted. Haunted even, "What's wrong?"

At this the exhaustion crumpled into sorrow as large droplets of tears filled his eyes, drowing the golden orbs. "I…I…"

"Oh Ed," Roy cooed, lifting the boy into his lap as he sat on one of the armchairs. He quickly pulled the boy close, "What happened? Talk to me."

Again, Roy was surprised that Ed didn't struggle. Instead he clutched at the white undershirt and hid his face in Roy's chest. "I just…I…" Roy cradled him closer and let him sob.

"I've got you…you're alright…"

"I got into a fight with Alphonse…" Ed choked. "He thought I was disgusted with his armor because I was avoiding him!"

"Ed…" Roy soothed, stroking the blonde hairs.

"Why?" Ed cried, "We give and we give and we give, and its never equivalent! " he sobbed. "Even now, I'm learning to…" he broke off. Mustang was floored. He'd never seen the teen like this. "It's all just too hard, Roy!"

The raven-haired man blinked at the use of his name. He was gentle but firm as he spoke softly, "We need to stop this…its not right and its hurting you. We'll find another way to get you promoted…"

"No!" Ed shrieked. Now the fight was back in him. Clawing and kicking, trying to escape Roy's grip.

"Ed! Stop it!"

"No! I won't!" Ed shouted back. He managed to fall over the side and onto the floor. Roy quickly followed and settled on top of his sprawled body, "I've come too far to back out now!"

"You're killing yourself Ed!" Roy shouted back.

Lips were smashed against his own. Damn it all. "No!" he shouted, tearing his mouth away. But Ed was persistant. He wrapped his legs around Roy's waist and began rutting agains his pelvis, biting the elder's neck. "Ed I mean it!"

"So do I!" Ed retorted as he began devesting Roy of his undershirt. "Roy I need this…"

Roy let his eyes close momentarily at Ed's rutting. He gritted his teeth and pinned Ed's hands above his head to stop him. But those hips… He grunted in pleasure, trying to fight it. Ed mouth sucked on his collarbone, causing a shiver to go down his spine. "Edward!"

"I need this!" Ed repeated. This time a whimper. His breathing was heavy and erratic as he stared up at Roy. "Daddy please…"

Roy leapt away in shock. Scrambling off of the floor and back toward his desk. "No!"

"Please!" Ed whined, clambering to his feet, clawing at his own clothes. "I need to feel something good for once! Please! Please Daddy! I just wanna feel good!"

"Stop calling me that!" Roy shrieked back at him. He could hear it. Ed's inner child...pleading with him.

"Not unless you touch me…"

Peading over and over...

Roy paused then. Ed was shaking, hard and distraught. He needed to get in control. This was his emotions he was dealing with. He so desperately wanted a father, Roy could see that now… He didn't want to teach Edward to fuck his feelings away, but… He pulled Ed close and kept his hands immobile. Ed whimpered but paused when Roy leaned in close. He gave a gentle kiss to the teens lips. It was soothing, calming. Not hungry like Ed's were. Ed relaxed immediately, whimpering in need. Roy led Edward to the sofa and sprawled him out upon it. Ed shuddered when the elder's fingers wrapped around his member, and began to gasp as his mouth pleasured him. Pleading...

His orgasm was quick.

Roy saw the teen was still shaking as he came down from the desperate high and noted that silent tears had streamed down his face. Roy tucked the teen's penis away and stroked the blonde hairs from his face. "I'm sorry…" Ed whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for…" Roy assured him.

"I'm just so tired of hurting."

Roy stared down at him, "It's because you constantly try to do everything by yourself and won't let anyone help you. You won't trust anyone…" he could see it. The loneliness that the teen was so desperate to hide.

Ed's eyes flicked to his, "Can I trust you?"

His inner child pleading, begging...Please love me, I'm so very, very alone...

Roy smiled gently then. Ed wanted a friend... "Of course, Ed."

I know, I'm sorry I havent updated in a while, but the Army tends to demand my attention sometimes. This chapter sort of took me by surprise but I like how it turned out... I do think Ed would begin to have a bit of a breakdown here, given his age. I tried not to make it too "sappy" or even too much about the smut but still very honest. Please let me know what you think! I'm really pleased but nervous about this one... ^_^