A/N: IS THERE EVEN A REASON WHY I TORTUE MY REVIEWERS BY PUTTING THIS FF ON HIATUS? ...Yes... . You know how you have partail writer's block, and then suddenly all these great story ideas come to mind? Yeah, see that explains it all. But enough with the excuses, on with the chapter!
Kairi: Be prepared for NamiXku fluff!
Sora: How come me and Kai never have fluff?
"Don't toy with me!" I shouted loud enough to shake the Castle with fear. Which was enough to wake every single member, enough to scare even myself.
"Ha! Im not toying with you, Witch!" He spat with mock-humor. My cheeks flared form embarrassment. Still, I refused to back down.
"How could you? You said you cared! You…—you promised! Promised us all!" I hoped this sent some sort of resent through his mind. I was so disappointed.
"Not all promises are kept, Witch. You, of all people should know that." He straightened his composure, and no longer gave me the honor of seeing his frightful smile.
"What?" I balked, what does this traitor speak of?
"I can't say it was a promise, but you still broke the rules."
"What rules? What are you talking about?" I took a few steps back, while my confidence, inspired by my rage about the truth, began to leave me.
His bright yet hard eyes became narrow slits.
"You fell in love." He stepped too close. The proximity was making me feel more like my 'old-self', the part of me that would usually cower in fear under this particular glare. His hand suddenly at my throat, my back against a wall, and his voice a whisper in my ears.
My fears returned…and the greatest of them all was to some true. Unless.
I woke up with a cold sweat covering me better than the blankets. Immediately, my hands shot to my throat, and felt around for anything. 'Nothing…' I flicked on my lamp by the bed, and ran to the mirror.
My neck was it's usual ghostly white like the rest of my body. I took deep breaths, and sat at my desk. My arm rested on the top, while my forehead lay there.
This dream was so terrorizing…so…real. I gulped, and gingerly stroked my neck.
Suddenly my alarm went off, and I jumped out of my skin.
'It's just an alarm clock, Nami! Get a hold of yourself!' I chastised.
(Skipping Class…)
I shifted uneasily; I leaned my weight to the right then the left, but neither helped. This position was too uncomfortable, and I gave up. I pushed off the wall, and began to make my way to the stairway. There, I stopped and felt immensely guilty.
Because there was my sister crying her guts out. Her sobs weren't loud, but the tears were enough to make you notice how bad her mood was. Her crimson bangs hung in front of eyes, and her shoulders were hunched.
"Kairi…" Her head shot up, and her beautiful indigo eyes were damaged with red outlining.
"O-Oh, Naminé. I-I'll just g-go." She sniffled, and then began to gather her things. It made me feel like she was some servant in my way. For the slightest moment, I couldn't help but sense some authority…that I loved feeling.
"Stay." I commanded more than asked. She sat down but inched away from me when I sat.
"So…come to yell at me some more?" She looked away form me. Her tone was mechanic, but I did notice the pain. I sighed.
"No. I've come to apologize. For being an ass." Her head whipped towards me, surprised by the choice of words, and sudden mood change towards her.
"I want to apologize…for…for being a pompous jerk, and not seeing that you were only trying to help, and make me feel better." I smiled a horrible one, to add affect.
"Nami, it's just that…seeing you so…so cruel, and—well, no offense, evil. It scared me, and I wanted to get the Old-Nami-I-know-and-love back. So I guess your apology is accepted!" Her smile outshone mine ten-fold. This beam of hers made her look just as if she never even cried earlier; her beauty returned. The stab of envy replaced my guilt.
I smiled wider, not out of joy that we were all made-up, but because I didn't want her to see what was beneath the mask I had just put on for her. I mean, it would be horrible if she saw my jealousy. Disastrous.
(Later)
I told Riku an apology similar to the one I gave Kairi. He was satisfied. A mask for him as well. Different purpose.
To my surprise, Roxas was dangerously quiet at lunch. I decided to pry him from his thoughts.
"So, Roxie, whatcha doin'?" I asked, completely innocent. A wave of laughter came over my table due to the nickname.
"Yeah Roxie, what are you doing?" Tidus asked between his laughs. Roxas sent a cold look my way, and then retorted with an equally amusing insult towards Tidus. Fresh laughs were booming into my ears.
"Good one, Roxas." Sora gave a not-too-hard smack on the back to Roxas, who finally smiled.
Ah, there we go, Roxas! Now that everything's going on normally—"Um, Nami? You there?" Olette's hand waved in my face.
"Eh? What? What did I miss?" I didn't think I was thinking that long…
"Nothing really, but I was worried about you spacing out. Everyone's doing that these days!"
"I know! I was talking to Marsha the other day—you know, that one athlete, and she…" Selphie unrolled into a long story about her friend Marsha, which evidently led to more stories until Selphie forgot what she was talking about.
Normal as can be. I looked at every face at our table, and everyone held a smile.
Their voices began to lower, as if someone was turning the volume down. I narrowed my eyes, and strained for some sound. It came. But it was a thump.
Thump…Thump…Thump. It grew another beat but this one was faster. Thump Thump Thump. And more, about five more. ThumpThumpThumpThump.
These beats continued to grow, and it seemed that no one else noticed. They were still animatingly chatting, and laughing. Their voices weren't returned.
The 'thumps' were getting louder, and louder. The room was spinning. Everything was being impounded into my brain with such force. When I plastered my palms to my ears it was stronger than before. Even closing my eyes didn't stop the feel of everything rotating all to quickly.
The familiar tug at the bottom of my stomach was a hint. My chest was getting tight, and I could only take deep breaths. My knees were pulled to my chest, and I reflexively wrapped my arms around my legs. Something was pushing, pulling, and trying, and wanting to spill out of my mouth.
I shot up from my place, and bolted from the Lunch Room. From my peripheral vision I caught strange looks sent my way; it only urged me to go faster. I flew down the beige halls, past the blue lockers, classrooms, and past the stairways. My only destination was the Bathroom.
I pushed the metal door back with too much force, and almost fell. I gathered my bearings, and stepped into the first door open. I emptied my lunch, breakfast, and anything before that, into the toilet; without missing.
After being relieved, I sank to my knees, and rested my forehead on the cold metal. It helped soothe the leftover pain. The flushing noise indicated that the 'thumping' had resided to a small humming in the back of my mind, slowly fading away.
"Nami! Are you in here?" I groaned when I heard Kairi's voice. She pulled back the door, and gasped.
"Oh, Naminé! You look terrible!" I slightly turned my head as if to say: Thanks, Kairi! Just what I need to hear! Then I felt another tug, and hurled into the toilet again. She held my hair behind me, and rubbed my back.
"Don't hold it all in. Let it come and go." Kairi was helping…but I preferred her not to hear/see this.
A few more chucks, and I was done. My sister handed me a Mento and some mouthwash from God-knows-where, but I still took them gratefully.
"Better?" She asked like a worried mother. I gulped down a bit of water, and nodded.
"Do you want to visit the nurse?"
"No. She wont help."
"OK…it was probably just some food poisoning." She said as the bell rang.
Oh how I wanted to believe that. But I knew this much was 'supernatural'. I needed to visit my simulation…not the nurse.
"Yeah. Probably."
(At home)
"Uh…I'll be back!" I shouted inside my home, before I closed the door. I hurriedly jumped onto my skateboard and traveled to the train-station just before they were about to leave.
My cell-phone buzzed. I looked at the caller ID. Riku. I silenced my phone; Riku wasn't first on my list right now. Twilight Town was.
Mean? Yes, I am. But I don't think he can help me in anyway possible besides leaving me alone. It dawned on me that Riku and I were spending a lot less time together. Fewer Dates. Less Phone calls. Less…everything. I sighed.
What's a girl to do? Riku or Finding out what the heck is wrong with your 'life'?
Do I need to answer? It was rhetorical anyway.
"Twilight Town—" I hopped out of the train before I heard the rest of the man's sentence. I pushed my board, and lead it this way and that, not noticing how I already knew the way to the Old Mansion from the Station.
(Simulation)
"The thumps were so loud! I couldn't take it, and the-the room! It was spinning! But I ended up throwing up…" I felt embarrassed about that part. DiZ chuckled.
Did I mention he has a name? Yeah, DiZ. So far, I had only told him about the dream. But he wanted to comment after I've finished my stories. Which was now.
"It seems that you heard everyone's hearts beating at once." He nodded, as if that sufficed for him.
"What? I thought that only happened if you're leaning on someone's chest. And everyone's? At once?" I tried to think about it rationally.
"Yes. It's a gift you have…for now. But really, it was completely normal. For you."
"How?"
He clucked his tongue.
"Tsk. You really haven't pieced anything together, have you? You're not human. You're—"He stopped.
"Im what?"
"…I don't really know if I can tell you so soon…"
"Tell me. Please." I was getting so close to something being understandable, and now he wants to clam-up?
"…A Nobody."
"A what?"
"A Nobody. Your original lost their heart, and basically, you were born." That wasn't DiZ. I swiveled around in the chair, and saw Roxas in his black cloak, arms folded.
"O-original?"
"Kairi. She's not your sister." I wanted to gasp, yell, and cry at the same time. But nothing came out.
'What would he know? He hasn't even been there for you like Kairi has! He's just a boy! Just some boy whose kissed you…and is possibly jealous of Riku…really jealous…. My mouth was left open. I glowered at Roxas whose face was hidden by his hood, only his lips shown, and blonde hairs poking out.
He could be lying. He very well might be. I mean, why the sudden change of heart? Why would he want to change his mind, and finally want to answer me? Why? Why now? What is this nonsense he is talking about? Kairi losing her heart? Is that possible? Wouldn't she be dead by now?
I couldn't choose one question. So I said the first one that came to mind.
I swiveled back to the computer screen with DiZ intently watching Roxas.
"Is this true DiZ?" He looked at me expressionless.
"Yes." I faced the floor. My head exploded with more questions. Another flew out of my mouth.
"Is there more?" Both males answered.
"Yes."
I rose from my seat, and stood before Roxas. I wanted to slap him with all of my might. But that would get me nowhere. I bore a hole into his chest, where silver Roman numerals engraved the number 13.
Then I put two-and-two together. 13 members, is what the other person said. Roxas is the 13th…that information didn't help much.
"What else is there?"
DiZ spoke again. "Well, Naminé, your dreams…some just aren't dreams. Some are real."
"I've realized that." I spat what I meant to say in my head. I sat back down.
"But some are fake. Made up. Roxas can explain that much." Then he zapped out of the screen.
Fake? Made up, huh? Yeah, and Im Queen Elizabeth XV, and I have a chocolate factory full of little fairy-helpers! But when I remembered all the strange things that have happened before…it all doesn't seem so stupid. It makes some sense but…
"Can you tell me what's going on?" I asked with my head hung low, and neatly folded hands.
"Not right now." I didn't budge. Neither did Roxas.
"…Something then? Something to let me know that I'm not just out of my mind?"
"This is all fake Naminé. And you chose it. You chose it over a heart of your own." I lifted my head then slowly lowered it.
"You're not making sense." I said pathetically.
"Neither are you."
"How so?"
"…" He mumbled something about mixed messages.
"What? Oh I get it, your jealous! Aren't you? You don't want me with Riku do you?" I laughed, despite the confused thoughts in my head. At least, it's a different topic…and Im getting some answers again.
He frowned with his teeth showing.
"You weren't even supposed to be with him, Naminé!" He roared. It shut me up.
"Stop it." I said, instead of asking 'what?!' I looked at him with fierce eyes.
"Stop what?" He asked in a bored tone.
"Stop saying things that leave me with questions, Dammit! Im tired of this! I just want answers!"
"Naminé…you'll get them…just not now." He made a portal, and I gasped since I hadn't seen one for a while. He reached out his hand while he was halfway through.
I took it.
Why did this feel right? Why did I just want to have him wrap his arms around me? Why was I having these mixed feelings? Why couldn't I be faithful to Riku? Why…why do I have doubts that Riku is loyal? What's wrong with me? Why is this all so confusing? Why, why, why?
XXx-x-x-x-x-xXX"My life sucks ass." I stated to none in particular while sitting on my bed, trying to put two-and-two together again with the information I had received. I found myself falling into hysterical laughing when I realized how stupid everything sounded to my ears.
"Whatever. If DiZ is telling me to rely on Roxas again, that's not happening. I'll just have to…to…ah, forget it." I picked up my cell to call Riku back, since that seemed the only thing to do now.
"Yeah, it's Riku. You know what to do." His voice mumbled out, and the annoying beep came. I left a message, saying I really missed having him around now-a-days, and some other sappy, mushy crap.
Sleep was horrible. Another violent dream, and this one left me screaming into the night.
(Tuesday)
"Nami, you looked really tired. You get enough sleep?" Riku bobbed the pencil in his mouth up-and-down as he sat uninterestingly in his desk. He flicked his eyes to me. I sighed.
"I…I had a nightmare." My hand flew to my left shoulder where I remember almost breaking it when I fell onto the hard floor—in the dream.
"Hn…what happened yesterday? You flew out of the Lunch Room like hell, and Kairi said you threw up some. If you felt sick, how come you didn't tell me?" I nervously glanced at Riku, his whole attention on me and his eyes were hard. I didn't count on him remembering yesterday.
"…I-it was unexpected…you know…t-they never cook t-the food. Don't worry about it, Im fine now." I smiled, hoping he believed me. His eyes didn't soften, and he turned back to the teacher.
Suddenly, I felt like there a huge gap between Riku and I. Like this invisible force was pushing us apart, and making us distant. His voice was monotone, he gave me looks that almost interrogated, and like now, his lips were set in a hard line. Not frowning, not smiling. I knew he was slowly drifting away, and I wasn't stopping him. In fact, I was helping that invisible force. I was pushing him away too.
Not to mention that I've already cheated on him…more than once. Guilt trip.
I want Riku and I to be like before…
(Flashback)
"You can't catch me! Stop trying!" I yelled behind me. My boyfriend in hot pursuit of me. He laughed, and his silver hair whipped around his face. Oh, how I loved to run my fingers through that hair!
He was chasing me through The Maze of Twinkling City. Cheesy, yes. But the place was awesome.
The walls were at least 8 feet tall, and there were so many twists, and turns. Random flowers bloom form the green walls, the grass soft, and wet to the feet. If you looked directly up, there was a dome ceiling with metal, and clear glass. But you could only see the sky at night, when they open the dome's surface.
They say there's a myth to The Maze. A couple is supposed to walk in at two different entrances, walking around the place aimlessly. If the couple ends up leaving the labyrinth at different ends/times, they probably wouldn't last. But if the couple were to meet in the center of the maze, unexpectedly, their love would last forever.
Of course, it was originally Kairi's idea to go. The price was cheap, and it wasn't hard to get to. She thought it was the perfect double date: Kairi& Sora, and Riku& I. At first, no one wanted to, but then we went anyway. It turned out really fun. Especially since Riku, and I were playing hide, and go seek.
I turned to hide behind a wall of Sterling Roses (the lavender ones) since it seemed that he had lost me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I giggled, when I thought of him searching for me frantically, calling my name like a mad man.
A petal fell on my nose then one on my head. I smiled with uncertainty. More fell, until I was showered with them. I looked up, and gasped.
"R-Riku! G-get off the wall! You could fall!" Petals were still in my hair, and I was scolding him for even thinking such a thing. He laughed, and jumped off with ease. I punched his chest.
"You could've hurt yourself! What do think I would've done with my life if I found out you fell into a coma because you split your head open?" I was worried, really terrified if he did fall. I would probably have blamed myself for it.
He smiled. "I think you would've stayed with me until you coaxed me out of the coma." His smile was contagious, and I laughed.
"Don't flatter yourself." I playfully shoved past him, and began to look for the way out. I was afraid that Riku just might get ideas…
Arms wrapped around my middle form behind, a chin rested on my right shoulder. The scent of cinnamon, and fruit overwhelmed me. I liked it—no, loved it.
"Hey, you wanna look for the middle of The Maze? I hear we might win something if we make it." I giggled yet again.
"I dunno…going somewhere with you? Alone? It's sounds scary." I joked around, and he nipped my ear. I smiled, but inched away. It tickled too much.
"What? Then why are you with me right now?" He retorted. Our pace slowed.
"Because I know Sora, and Kairi are around here some where, I could yell for them to save me from Riku The Terrible." I could feel the rumble in his chest, which meant he was laughing.
"How do you know they haven't left you to fend for yourself?" His voice as eerie, and it scared me more than his stunt earlier. Lips met my naked shoulder, my neck then my jaw line. I tried not to gasp too loud.
"T-they w-would s-save me…" I mumbled. He flipped me around, and my back smashed some flowers. Riku's chest was so close that his heartbeat was a second away. His arms on each side of my head, and my arms lay limp at my sides. We were still smiling.
"For all we now..." His voice became seductive, and trance-like. "They could've have left already. You're here all alone with Riku The Terrible." I felt insecure, but safe. Nervous, but happy. Caged, yet wild. Riku brought so many feelings out of me; I didn't know what was left and what was right. And that's before he kisses me. Before the dizziness kicks in.
Our lips locked, mouths opened, tongues began raging for rule for what seems like forever. But the feeling of bliss was almost as good as the kiss…-ing. Riku had that taste of Big Red gum, strong at first, but you know you want more. Addictive. Very addictive.
I finally heard the 'smooch' of our mouths departing (unwillingly), and took deep breathes of air. Air…air is good…. Whatever.
"Naminé Kurasoukai, I think I love you." His voice was content, but sounded serious. I thought my insides dropped to the floor but it was confirmed that it was due to hunger, since my stomach rumbled a second later.
"Riku The Terrible, I think…Im hungry." I laughed, and slipped away from him to finally find the way out. I wanted to eat, now. Making out can work out an appetite…not to mention that his mouth makes mine water…
He didn't even say anything about me not saying "it" back. Or maybe his smile was betraying his true emotions, but either way, he looked happy. Which was good enough for now.
"Nami, I believe that we need to stop." He spoke after we ended up standing directly in front of a Willow Tree. It's long green branches swung to my hips; strong enough to climb yet looked like silken hair. The bark was thick, and also dark green. A garden of all the roses ever (I think) surrounded the back of the tree. I noticed that to the far left was a mini waterfall, and to the right was a pond with all sorts of fish swimming about. I even think there were fireflies flying around in this tranquil place.
"I think so…Riku!" I yelled when I realized what this place was. "We made to the center of The Maze!" I was giddy, I admit.
"And you came up with that all on your own? Because, you know, you didn't notice the sign above the entrance?" He thumbed towards the metal sign that did, in fact, indicate that this was the middle of it all. I pouted. And made him face my back.
My fingers grazed the leaves, and they seemed to curl around my hand, wanting to grasp to me. I put my two hands in front of me to spread the leaves apart, like I was opening a curtain. I sat down, and leaned my back on the sturdy tree. I was taking this all in.
Riku sat beside me, and I shifted so I rested my head on his chest. He placed a pink carnation in my ear, I laughed softly.
"Thank you, I whispered." I snuggled closer to him, and his grip tightened.
"Anytime, Nami, anytime."
I fell asleep soon after that, and with it, it took my hunger…for a while.
"Naaaamiiii Wake-up please! Riku, did you drug my baby-sis?" That familiar tone of voice belonged to Kairi. I could hear two males laughing.
"No, I swear I didn't drug her." Kairi didn't hear Riku say: "Today, anyway." I stirred, but my back was no longer on the wall of the tree, but I was sure my head was still on Riku's chest.
"Whoa, careful Naminé. If you keep moving, I might drop you." My eyes shot open to see two pairs of blue eyes, and when I looked up I saw 1-pair of turquoise. I titled my head, confused.
"Drop…me?" It was flat tone, because I didn't understand. I thought I was sitting…my legs were propped up by something smooth…but strong…like skin—
"GAH! Riku!" I yelled, and threw my arms around his neck for dear life. I finally understood that Riku was carrying me Bridal Style. Laughter erupted, but he held me fast.
"You guys feel asleep in The Center of The Maze, you know? Then some gardener found you two in each other's arms. He woke up Riku, but you didn't even budge. So he had to carry you out of there. It's so sweet! Sora, how come you're not romantic like that?" Kairi smacked Sora's arm, and he winced.
"Well, Im so-rry! Jeez!" Another fresh wave of laughter. My sister and her boyfriend began to walk into the parking lot, holding hands, and I realized Riku had no intentions of letting me walk on my own. I gulped.
"You really won't drop me, will you?" I asked worriedly. He smirked evilly.
"Depends…you gonna kiss me?" He awaited a response.
"Ew! Kiss you? Never in my life!" I laughed, he chuckled a bit, but for a different reason.
"Then I guess Im gonna have to drop you." And he did. He dropped me, and I shrieked. He caught me again, and laughed when I had a terrified look on my face.
I narrowed my eyes to slits for a while, but my face softened when I really did kiss him. I meant it to be quick, and on his cheek, but instinctively, my hands turned him my way, and I gave him a full-on kiss. He stopped walking, and got himself fully into it, just I as I did.
Our kiss lasted a while, and Sora had to interrupt us.
"Oi, come on! Don't do that in public!" He barked. Riku only open his eyes half way after we pulled back. His eyes burned mine, and I felt like he saw everything. Down to my secret about kissing Roxas. But he turned to Sora with a bored expression.
"You're just jealous that Kairi's not a good kisser." I couldn't help but laugh when Sora burned red, and Kairi yelled that she actually heard that.
"Smart." I remarked, as we sat in Sora's car. He volunteered to drive us…dunno why, don't care though.
"Ah, you know me. Riku The Terrible." He pulled me to his side of the backseat, and I rested my head to his chest again, falling asleep to beat of his heart.
(Flashback End)
Riku wasn't terrible. I was. For doing this to him, for being a bad girlfriend, for everything little thing I did that I knew was wrong…
I wanted to talk to Riku, tell him sorry, and tell him about Roxas and me. I wanted us to be fixed, and back to normal.
But the only way for us to be normal was for me to fix the whole "heartless/dreams/13-members"-thing.
Just fix it, and it will all be fine again. I began to repeat that in my head like trance, a mantra, or until it sounded like one, big, jumbled, foreign, word.
I glanced at Riku, who was gazing at Marine, who just winked at Riku. His hard line just curved upward.
Jealousy: a disatrious, evil, manipulating emotion.
A/N: Yes, I know the flashback was long, but I think this story needed a tad more NamiXku fluff. It just seemed like the fic. was leaning towards namiXrox too much. So yeah… another thing! I need to add some Riku/Roxas tension! I mean, this is supposed to be a triangle so there needs to be boys who bicker and crap, right? Right!
Nami: Hmm…why?
Me: Becuz--wait, Your…back…?
Roxas: Yup, we are. Where's the food? Starts to search R.K.K's fridge
Me: I have replacements though…
Nami: Keep them, they might help someday…throws Kairi-voodoo-dollKairi goes flyingSora chases the flying Kairi…-mumbles- or not.
Sexiroth: In that case, may I leave now? You scare ME
Me: Nope. Everybody has to stay now! Begins a conga lineeveryone joins
Everyone except Sexiroth: Reviews are not asked for because R.K.K put this story on hiatus, which was really mean.
C YA L8TER!—randomness: being human is shallow--