Thinking back on it now, he could pinpoint the reason for his actions. All those times he had slept outside of some other child's house, listened to their mother or father tell them their favorite stories. He was trying to be the hero, like the young men in those stories. They were all basically the same- a strong, sword-wielding hero would save the blonde, blue-eyed princess from the evil magician or scary sub-human. Then they would get married and have kids and everything that he wanted but could never have.

He hated those stupid stories.

Shinon tied the bag closed, pulling the knot tight with more force than necessary. The string creaked, but didn't break. He was angry, at her, at the situation, at himself. As much as he hated to admit it, his father was right; he was never going to make it. He'd figured that out long ago. You could never make it when you ran away from something, because "away" didn't exist. There was nowhere to go to, and without a definite end, you would just keep running. At this point he'd been everywhere anyway. Crimea, Daein, Begnion, even Gallia. There was nowhere left for him to go.

He could hear the front door closing, someone calling his name. She was calling his name.

Shit. He hadn't wanted it to be this way, he'd hoped that he would be long gone before she got home. He'd even written her a note, a piece of paper filled with lies about not being ready to be what she needed him to be, the truth about how she deserved someone better. A piece of paper filled with sweet nothings and ending on a bitter note. That was what had hurt him the most to write, the end of the note. It hurt so much that he hadn't even signed it. He didn't want to claim ownership of that note.

He grabbed his bow and slung it over his shoulder, just like he had so many times before.

"Shinon, I can't shoot this thing!"

He stood there beside her, watching her try to hold the bow. It was a child's bow, to avoid causing further injury to her back while trying to help her heal. She had obviously never done this before- even Rolf had had a vague idea of what he was doing when he had started his training under Shinon. Her stance was wrong, her grip was wrong, and just the sight of her holding a weapon of any kind seemed wrong. He sighed internally, wondering if it was even worth it. Rolf at least had some potential. Emily… didn't.

"Emily, if you don't pull back on that drawstring in the next ten seconds, I am going to hit you."

She dropped her hands to her sides, bow hanging from her loose grip.

She had five seconds left…

He didn't know whether or not he really was going to hit her. As apt as he was to get into a brawl, there was something about hitting a woman that was… distasteful… to him. Still, they'd been standing there for two hours already, and it was their third day of trying to get her to pull the drawstring. It was exhausting, more so than trying to teach Rolf had been. The kid might have been a crybaby, but at least he had enough confidence to try. Emily had no confidence at all, at least not in herself. He could tell that she trusted him to be as good a teacher as he could be, but she just couldn't do what he was asking her to do.

One second…

She brought the bow up into the proper shooting stance, bringing it to half draw.

Shinon allowed himself a small, quick smile. Figuring that he should meet her halfway, he walked over and stood behind her, his stomach almost brushing her back. He was careful to avoid touching her wound as he adjusted her slightly.

"Here," he breathed, "soften your elbow here… shoulders back a bit…" She was tall for a woman; he only had to drop his head a little to whisper his instructions into her ear, and he was a tall man himself. She responded to his instructions without protest and almost the instant he gave them. He found he was getting distracted by her hair- it smelled sweet, like the wild lilies Mist used to bring back to the fort.

Eventually, he had nothing left to correct in her stance, but he found himself loathe to step away from her.

"All right- now here's the real test," he said. He brought up one hand to the bow, placing it over hers, and put his other hand on the drawstring, again over her own hand. He pulled on the string slightly, and she pulled with him. He guided her motion carefully, until she had pulled the bow to full draw. Only then did he step back.

She held the position for a few seconds, then slowly brought the bow back down to the ready position without releasing the string.

"Good," he told her, watching a smile start to form. Before she could start feeling too full of herself, he smirked and shook his head.

"Now do it again, with an arrow this time."

When he looked up, he could see her blocking the doorway from his- their- bedroom. She was holding the note in her hands, and her face…

He turned away, not wanting to see her expression. He knew what she looked like when she was hurt, and he didn't want to see it. He had comforted her so many times when she was hurt, and it made him sick to realize that now, he couldn't comfort her until that expression was wiped off her beautiful face. He couldn't make her feel better, because he was the reason she felt the way she did.

"Shinon? Shinon- Shinon, look at me."

He did. Her lips were pressed into a tight, thin line and her eyes had tears threatening to spill over. She wasn't crying, but she was as close as he had ever seen her come to it.

"Shinon, what the hell is this?"

He didn't reply. He just pushed past her and headed for the front door.

"Wait! Shinon please, I didn't- I didn't mean to offend you. Shinon, please!"

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob. He didn't turn around, just listened to the sound of her breaths, short and shallow, panicked. He wanted to tell her it was fine, that it didn't matter, because it shouldn't matter. Not anymore.

But for some reason, it did matter. He could have told her about his father, his life with Greil, his friend Gatrie, or how much he hated Ike. But he couldn't bring himself to answer her question.

"Shinon, if you don't want to tell me why you decided to side with Daein, you don't have to. I won't… I won't ask again. Just… please…don't leave yet."

He turned around. What was it about her? He had long ago finished teaching her how to shoot. She had plenty of room in or improvement, Goddess knows she did, but he couldn't actually teach her anything else. Not with a bow anyway… but it didn't matter. She wasn't his to teach anymore. In the end, she never had been. She was engaged to be married- at the end of the month, no less. Sure, he could have a fling with her, but with her… he couldn't figure out what was wrong with himself. He had never balked at the idea of sleeping with a married woman, and she wasn't even married yet. There was still time. She had been hinting at all kinds of things in the past weeks, but he didn't want her. Well, that wasn't true, he did want her. He wanted to do all kinds of things to her, with her, but he wanted her to be his. Completely, unconditionally his.

Forever.

He didn't understand what made him think that way. It was similar to what Gatrie said he felt every time he saw a beautiful woman, but it couldn't fall under the name Gatrie had given it…

Could it?

Author's Note: This may be longer than anticipated. I'm not quite sure why I'm putting in these notes, as I am posting these pieces all at once. Guess I just want to give you a heads up about the length of this thing. also, apologies if Shinon seems out of character. I am running (see what I did there? XD) on the assumption that, like I said in the summary, he isn't really a bad guy. I had to make him a bit more sensitive to make this work, but hopefully it isn't as bad in the past (the big sections of italic paragraphs, to clarify) as the present, but… oh who cares. I love Shinon, and he deserves to be happy. Now, if you desire, bombard me with comments about how I destroyed Shinon's personality. I. Dare. You. (Gives non-existent crowd an evil glare.)