Here we are, back in school. Everyone got issues—no—everyone's got a stereotype! YAY! But, we all know social labels are bad, but that doesn't stop them from coming into the world of ROMANTIC COMEDIES! Now, let this god-awful parody begin, shall we nerds?
Inuyasha didn't take shit from any one; he was his own person, and a very violent one at that. He would curse out anyone but not give two shits about it, especially if they were adults. Inuyasha always gotten into trouble, even if he didn't try. This earned him the social label "Punk", and this fits him well, even if he was still in the Feudal Era.
Kagome was a "Goth". Makes no damn sense when you think about it. Her mother hated her guts because she didn't want to be like any of the "other" bitches—I mean—girls at her school. She wore dark colored, classy clothing like corsets and chokers. Not many people wanted to talk to her, let alone look at her, because of her beliefs and the way she dressed. "Preps" often think of her as some kind of devil-worshiper or a Wiccan, or something awful like that.
The two first fell in love when Kagome entered her History class two minutes late after the bell rang. She gave the teacher a tardy slip.
"Why were you late today, Ms. Higurashi?" The teacher asked. Kagome was simply going to say "I overslept", but some "Prep" named Ayame interrupted her and blurted out:
"I bet she was trying to auction off her soul and lost track of time!"
Some of the other girls thought this shit was funny, so they giggled their annoying little squeaky giggles. Kagome gave them all an angry face.
"Oh, yeah, like I would sell my soul away to anyone who'll pay just like YOU would give head to anyone who'll pay, am I right?" Kagome said sarcastically, pointing at the loud mouthed girl.
"Ooo, someone's angry! What are you going to do? Summon some little demons to attack me? Cast a spell to teach me a lesson?"
"You little bit—"
"SHUT UP, AYAME!" Inuyasha yelled. Everyone looked from Kagome and Ayame to him. "No one was fucking talking to you in the first place! And get off of Kagome just because she's not like you're skanky ass!"
"That's enough! Inuyasha and Kagome, go to the principal's office!"
"What the hell did I do?" Kagome asked angrily, Inuyasha already stormed out the door.
"For starting uproar in the class, now go!" Kagome headed to the door and got a good look at Ayame's make-up heavy face. She had a satisfied smile on her face.
At the office, Kagome plopped down next to Inuyasha, who looked at her unpleasantly while sitting next to an "Emo" Naraku, who got caught cutting himself with a scalpel during Science class out of pity for the frog he was to dissect, thinking that people will do that to him one day for being a freak.
"What?" Kagome asked.
"Nothin'…" Inuyasha replied, looking away. They were silent for a few minutes, waiting on their retarded vice principal.
Kagome broke the silence. "Thanks for sticking up for me."
"Feh."
"Is that all you have to say? What the fuck is 'feh'? You're welcome would be nice!"
"Hey, I can't say 'you're welcome', alright? It'll ruin my coolness as a 'Punk' in these stereotypical romantic comedies!"
"Hmm, you're right, and what's so romantic about this sub-category of romantic comedies anyway? They seem depressing when you have all these labeled cannon characters going at each others throats for being different."
"They're doing it out of love, dude. Its so angsty, it's funny. Especially when you throw in a ghetto cannon character!" And speak of the devil, here comes Koga.
Koga was wearing all these gold chains and has, like, five rings on each finger. He wore a do-rag (sp?) under his brown cap that was worn sideways. Koga was also sporting cornrows and baggy brown pants that were sagging dramatically, showing off a great amount of his Halloween boxers and a tight whit wife-beater.
"'Sup dog?" Koga greeted Inuyasha, pulling his pants up slightly before sitting down.
"Dude, I'm not your fucking dog!" Inuyasha growled. Koga motioned him to clam down with his hands.
"Chill man, chill. You ain't gotta be so tense all tha time!"
"Why are you here?"
"Yo, check this out, man. It was P.E. yo, and bitch named Sango didn't have here uniform. Today we ere playin' some B-ball and she was making all these slam dunks. I got next to her when she made another dunk and I saw her pink panties, man! Then the ho caught me, callin' me a perv. I was like 'bitch, wear some fucking shorts!' The she tol' the teacher whoopty whoop woop and sent me hurr."
"…Okay."
Koga started to eye, Kagome, looking at her up and down and what not. "This your bitch? She sure is a fine dimepiece!"
"Hey, she ain't my bitch okay! She's just some Goth who got me in trouble"
"Hey! I didn't get you into trouble!" Kagome yelled at Inuyasha. "You got yourself into trouble calling Ayame a skank!"
"Well it's true!" Inuyasha yelled back. "And you know it!"
"You're right, but if you didn't stand up for me, maybe none of this would happen!"
"But I had to! Somebody had to!"
"It's not like your kind to support anyone anyway!"
"My kind? Fuck that! I did it because I like you! Do you want to go see a concert with me one day?"
"And I like you too! Sure Why the hell not?"
"I wish someone would like me…" Naraku said quietly to no one in particular. Kagome, Inuyasha and Koga all looked at him funny. Naraku turned around and started crying and gently slitting his wrist with a piece of broken glass he found outside on the school parking lot.
Because I'm lazy, I'm going to speed up and cut to the chase here. Inuyasha and Kagome became a solid couple despite their stereotypical differences. Koga is still being his "ghetto-fabulous" self, Naraku did indeed find someone to love, but that person didn't love him back, making him 10 times more miserable than he was before. And Ayame? She's such a poser; she decided she wanted to be "Emo" for fun. And this was just wrong.
Labels are wrong, yes, but can we stop them? I have no idea. Stereotypical romantic comedies…dramatic in their own humorous way…are making this a bit serious as a one-shot parody. Now this parody is done. Be gone, or I'll send my demons to attack you!
(a social labels factoid/rant might be added in the reviews page)