I have nothing to say to you all. Read and Review, or I'll hunt you down!

Divorce can be a bitch, all those papers and who likes to talk to lawyers? Just ask Inuyasha, who went through the whole ordeal. Kikyo, who felt that she need to "move on" (whatever that means)…with someone else. Although Inuyasha was a good man, taking care of the kids, had a good paying job, and never abused her, Kikyo cheated on him with his brother Sesshomaru and left. Why did she do this? Who the hell cares? It's a cliché; no one fully explains why the ex leaves, so why should this terrible parody be any different?

Anyway, Inuyasha was devastated. He wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't bathe, and he wouldn't eat — never mind that, he eats all the time—making his son, Shippo, take care of him by brushing his teeth and combing his hair.

Tired of Inuyasha's lack of dignity, Shippo put an ad on the internet and the newspaper; who knows how he did that, but its cliché. The ad read:

Single Hanyou Male

Looking for a Woman who loves dog demons and children

(Only has one kid kitsune)

Call: (555)555-5555

like that, Inuyasha had received many suitors. One after the other, he rejected. None of them would fit as his wife, not because he was still overly-devastated that Kikyo left him, but because they were all so…not right. One woman just came out of an asylum for being dangerously psycho. She admitted to him that she killed a man because he thought he was an evil mutant duck from planet Swamp #5. During the first five minutes of their date, Inuyasha snuck out the restaurant pretending to go to the bathroom, a run-of-the-mill trick. Another woman was a Bondage Queen, too scary. And then another one was so old, that she looked like Kaede, then again, it was Kaede who he was dating for about five seconds…

"All these damned dates! I've dated psychos, convicts, gold-diggers, Jehovah's witnesses, and a transvestite, and none of them are worth it!" Inuyasha cried one night, putting his head down on the dining room table. "I guess I'll be alone forever…"

"Grow up, Inuyasha—I'm mean—dad, you'll find someone for you one day, and you'll be very happy!" Shippo said, putting a box of tissues on the table.

"Really, son?"

"Nope!"

KnockKnockKnock

"Go get that, Shippo…" Inuyasha mumbled. Shippo grabbed a stool and dragged it over to the door and climbed on top of it to open the door since he's so small. At the door was their neighbor, Kagome, with a freshly baked pie in her hand.

"Hello neighbor," Kagome greeted, bowing. "I'm sorry about your divorce. I know you must be terribly sad, so I decided to make you a cherry pie to make you smile!"

"Thanks, Kagome! HEY DAD! Kagome brought you a pie!" Shippo yelled. Inuyasha came to the door looking disheveled. He had five o' clock shadow, red eyes, and a shirt drenched from tears.

"Kik-kikyo?" Inuyasha muttered, looking at Kagome.

"No, no, I'm Kagome. Kikyo is the lady that divorced you."

"Kik-KIKYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And then he ran off crying.

"Say Kagome," Shippo said, still holding the pie.

"Yes, Shippo?"

"Will you be busy on Wednesday?"

That Wednesday, Kagome and Inuyasha went to the finest café in Japan. After four cups of coffee, and ten orders of cheesecake later, Inuyasha felt that he finally found someone for him. She was nice, generous, and although she had her "blonde moments", she proved to be better than Kikyo. Minutes later, Kikyo showed up with not Sesshy, but with Koga.

"Inuyasha," Kikyo said, clinging onto Koga to make him feel bad. "Attempting to get over me I see."

"I got over you, a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long ,long ,long ,long ,long ,long, long—"

"ALL RIGHT ALL ALREADY!" The people in the café screamed.

"Hmph! You think you can just replace me can you?" Kikyo snapped. She pushed Koga away and bent over to meet Inuyasha's eyes.

"Yeah. I can." Inuyasha replied, without batting an eye.

"…Let's go Koga…" And with that, Kikyo grabbed a dizzy Koga (he bumped his head on the cashier counter and got hit on the head with falling biscotti.) and stormed out the room. And of course, exactly like in the movies, everyone in the café stood up and gave Inuyasha a round of applause; with Kagome giving him a passionate kiss that was right on queue to fit the mood.

Of course…you knew this was coming…like always…especially in the movies…they get married. Shippo gets a new mom, and there all happy. Blegh, I think I'm going to kill-over from the happiness. The end. Now go away. shoo!

There will always be someone for somebody, it takes time to find that person, but when the time is right, they'll come into your life...eventually. Man that was gay!