Now let us take our beloved Inuyasha cast and put them in a totally new, totally different place, a place where no one has ever THOUGHT or Dreamed of putting these darling slobs as a setting for a romantic comedy, but if I didn't know any better this would have more love than humor. Oh, screw it, just read and review.

Behold the Wild West! A time and place where tumbleweeds tumble aimlessly, the cacti is teeming with thorns. Cowboys who are on a strict diet of beans and biscuits, have bad hygiene, and hats glue onto their skulls so they would never fall no matter what.

Our story begins in a Saloon, of all places, where every man who had free time was drunk and harassing the Saloon Girl. Inuyasha was sitting at the bar, drinking real all-American beer. He wore a gold Sheriff badge on his clean white shirt.

"I see yer the new sheriff in town," Says Miroku, the bartender, cleaning a glass mug. He filled it up with brandy and slid it down the counter to a customer. It doesn't matter who that customer was because I don't feel like writing who that person was and you probably don't care to know. BACK TO THE STORY!

"Yep," Inuyasha replies, tilting his cowboy hat upwards. This, I am safely assuming, makes you die-hard Inuyasha fangirls squeal with excitement as you imagine him as a hot cowboy. It would work on me but I'm a die-hard Naraku fangirl (and I'm writing this story). "All I did was walk into this here town and the ol' sheriff handed it over to me. He was panickin' a-runnin' away from something. Maybe a crazy wife, I reckon.

"You are new in town, aren't ya?" Miroku put down a mug, slightly shocked. "Well, you better huck back where ya came from." He leaned over the counter and lowered his voice to a whisper. "They don't like us town-folk, especially sheriffs."

"Who's they?"

"The Onigumo Tribe!" Miroku cried out loud. Everyone stopped what they were dong and looked at him. "They is the meanest, nastiest, menacin'…"

"Dirtiest, cruelest, most violent…" Shippo added, who came out of nowhere and is the town banker.

"Hu-uh, they aren't very nice…" Hojo stated subconsciously, still drunk.

"Ten years ago, we built this here town near their territory an' they kept trying to run us out and destroy our fair town ever since. They ne'er liked our type, and they do the worst things to law-men like you, sir!" Miroku exclaimed as he stood on top of the counter.

"Well-p, I think I'll jus' go visit this Onigumo Tribe an' have a li'l talk wit' the chief. Maybe if I's lucky, I'll marry his daughter." Said Inuyasha, standing up while his English gets worse. He exits the Saloon and gets on his noble…

…

…Cow! Or steer…whatever.

And they head off! The brave hanyou sheriff and his cow, roaming the badlands, goodlands, wetlands, drylands, and any other type of land in search of the evil Onigumo Tribe. And soon they come across a tribal village. Inuyasha observed the village from a safe enough distance.

The people of the tribe were Snake Dancing around a burning baboon pelt, singing and making animal noises as the danced. It was a weird sight, the people had dark, nappy hair and wore makeup, even the men!

"Like what you see?" A young woman's voice asked him from behind. Inuyasha turned around to see a pretty young woman with a brown bearskin halter top with a matching skirt, raven-hair and a bright smile. She was obviously from the Onigumo tribe, although her hair wasn't nappy. Obviously this girl was Kagome.

"Uh…" Inuyasha muttered. The sight of Kagome left him breathless! Or something romantic like that…It was love at first sight for the both of 'em, and in record time, too.

"My name is Dumbas Rocks," (get it?) Kagome said. This authoress—Oh geez, I sounded like Sesshomaru there—I've decided to keep the real names of the characters so you won't be confused and they can stay in character (come on, if we change there names that's like defeating the purpose of this being a fanfic). "But you can call me Kagome!"

"Uh…okay. I'm Inuyasha, and this is mah noble steer, Happosai." He pointed at the cow. "I'm hurr to talk to yer pappy 'bout yer tribe invadin' my town." Inuyasha did the hat-tipping-upwards thing to make you all squeal again.

"I don't know. My father, Thinks He's God, is very dangerous man. He used to be a witch doctor before he became the chief of tribe." She lowered her voice to an inaudible whisper, "And I don't want to see you hurt."

"Ne'er fear, li'l missy!" Inuyasha exclaimed, getting on Happosai, "Just hop on and I'll deal wit 'em, just you see!" And the two of them rode on Happosai to the village site of the dreaded Onigumo Tribe. Sadly, the natives of the tribe captured Inuyasha, Kagome "Dumbas Rocks" and poor Happosai when he was roughly two and a half yards away from the village.

The natives brought the three to who all love (?), Naraku, or in this brainless parody of sorts, Chief Thinks He's God (think about that for a second), and his family.

There's the wife, Kikyo, or Dead Ass Bitch,

Kagura, also known as Featherinda Wind,

Kanna, Talkslika Cactus,

And Kohaku, the son, or as we like to call him, Confusedas Hell.

"How…what business do you have to enter my territory with?" Naraku asks, he sits there looking pretty (stupid) with his feathered headdress AND his baboon pelt on, with the baboon head on his head! Seriously…what type of medicinal herb is this guy smoking? I'm sure well all could use it right now!

"I'm hurr to stop ya from terrorizin' the townsfolk from the Town!" Inuyasha snaps heroically. Kagome is right behind him, blushing for whatever reason. Inuyasha turns his head to Kagome and grins. "And I want t' marry yer daughter, Dumbas Rocks." Kagome turns red in the face.

"Ha! Do you think I, Thinks He's God, would just cease running you people out from our territory, just because you bring you little dog ears here? Ha! Besides, Dumbas Rocks has been betrothed to another. Come out here…son, hehe." He moves a hand in a "come here" gesture and out comes Steel Fang! Which is just the English translation for Koga; I am running out of ideas here, people…WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

"This is Steel Fang, otherwise known as Koga, to your kind. He is from the Shichi'nintai Tribe and is their best and fastest warrior. If you can defeat Steel Fang, which I doubt, might consider letting you be the one to marry my daughter."

"I can take 'em on!" Inuyasha remarked, taking off his shirt. He didn't take off his hat because it can NEVER come off! Haven't you people seen a Western in your life (besides Brokeback Mountain)? But it's not like you fangirls would concider it 'cause you all are probably imagining him without a shirt and hopefully nothing worse. "Alright Koga, show me what yer made off!"

Koga runs up to Inuyasha and kicks him. Inuyasha falls to the ground, hat still on his head, and gets up. Koga jumps up and tries to do a flying kick at Inuyasha but misses for Inuyasha moved out the way, thus making Koga land on his feet and charge at him. Inuyasha pulls out a gun and shoots Koga in the head and the chest twice. Koga dies.

"Hmph, trigger-happy cowboy law-men…"Naraku muttered, he took off his baboon pelt and headdress. Now you all probably expect ME to react to this beacause I love him, but I'm not going to…I'm writing, here. "That's one thing you've settled, but if you want to free your percious town, you'll have to fight me! But I must warn you, I—"

BANG!

Inuyasha shot Naraku dead.

Inuyasha kisses Kagome and they get married the next day. The Onigumo Tribe backs off for only three and a half years.

They ride Happosai back to the Town and everyone gathers around him and praises him.

…

…

…Why am I writing like this? It's so choppy.

It doesn't matter.

Story is over.

Now leave, before a tribe native Hell demons come get you!

…

…You're still here aren't you? You gonna leae or what? What more do you want? What? A lemon? Huck back where you came from perv! I don't write lemons, I read 'em. And with that, I am leaving.

Good bye.