Chapter Nine: Confusion

Aoshi looked in all his saddlebags but couldn't find any spare clothes. He had already given his coat to Kenshin and Sano had given his shirt to Kaoru, but she lost it in the river. Misao couldn't spare anymore clothes. Yahiko had nothing on except for his pants, and Tsubame was in rags.

Kaoru remained at the shore, looking towards the lake, the water barely coming up to cover her chest. Kenshin sat near her, unwilling to take his eyes off her form. Her gaze was blank yet thoughtful, his was muddled and confused. He obviously didn't know what was happening to him.

Sano and Misao were setting up camp, and Yahiko and Tsubame had went to find some food.

Not getting anywhere with his own saddlebags, Aoshi looked in Kenshin's. He uttered some relieved sigh when he pulled out a blue gi stained everywhere with blood. Kaoru faced towards Aoshi with a quirk of an eyebrow. Without a second thought, she stood up from the water and ambled blindly towards Aoshi—who stood as still as a stone. He kept his eyes on the red-head.

Kaoru didn't care that she was naked. She was cold and wanted to be dry. She reasoned that her lack of shame came from her inability to see the eyes that stared at her. She'll be alright as long as she didn't know their reactions.

"Thank you Aoshi…" she placed her wet hands on Aoshi's clothes and tugged at them. She hissed a little when she realized it was Aoshi she was grasping and murmured a sorry. She lifted her hand to what she surmised as his arm and grabbed at it as she was about to lose her balance. Aoshi grunted, ignoring the feel of her chest on his bare arm. She moved her hands out on his outstretched arm and finally touched the gi. Aoshi let go of the cloth while keeping Kaoru's balance intact.

All this time Kenshin stared at the two. Aoshi didn't dare move nor look at the woman in front of him. He kept eye contact with those amber eyes and silently offered a bribe to the gods for safety.

"Kaoru, you shouldn't wear that." Kenshin started, his voice a golden baritone.

"Do you intend to keep me naked then?" She tried to find the sleeves and found that she was better off asking for help. "Aoshi, could you?" Aoshi let his eyes slide heavenward for a moment before closing them, he took the gi from her hands and started to help her in it.

"Kaoru..." it was a growl, a threat.

"What?" she snapped. She freed her arm from the gi and rested her hands on her hips giving Kenshin the most poisonous glare she could muster. Naked and wet, her hair strewn all over her shoulders, the glare she gave was out of place. Kenshin stepped backwards, feeling needles all over him. Kaoru's aura glowed, blinding his eyes with blue sparks. He broke eye contact.

"Much better," she murmured in approval. "Unlike you, at least the others have the decency to avert their eyes. All you do is stare. Aoshi, just give me the thing, you're not helping with eyes closed."

Kenshin looked over at Sano and saw that he truly had his back to the whole scene. Misao was listening quietly as she continued set up camp. And though he knew Aoshi saw her naked in the corner of his eye, Aoshi never really looked at her directly. "But Kaoru.." his voice was strangely weak in his throat and almost unrecognizable. He looked down at the ground.

"I don't mind the blood. If it's yours, then all the better," her confusing reply left Kenshin stunned. She walked off towards where Misao was trying to build a fire after she wrapped the clothing around her. She let her hands go before her, landing on Misao's head. Misao helped her sit down and tugged at Sano so he can finally turn around.

"Turn around" he growled back at Sano as he stomped over to Kaoru. He yanked her up to a standing position and yanked the gi off her. She cried out, but didn't move. Kenshin took off the coat he wore, walked around her, and gently put it on Kaoru, guiding her arms in. For a minute he lost himself and touched his cheek to the back of her neck. He pulled back suddenly and shook his head clear. He marched towards the water again and started to wash his gi, but not before shouldering Aoshi aside, who almost lost his balance because he still had his eyes closed.

Kaoru stood still for a moment before finally sitting down by Misao.

Kaoru was shivering violently in front of the fire that night. Still weak from everything that had happened, the usual night chill was more than enough to have her sneezing and wheezing through out the night.

Kenshin was standing alone in the distance, keeping guard and keeping his sanity. Everything was all too confusing. He could not even begin to comprehend what happened between him and Kaoru, much less the new stirrings he felt the past few hours. He looked back at the group.

The sight made him clench his fists, his knuckles stretched white.

Kaoru was curled up in Sano's chest. His arms wrapped around her like a blanket from the cold. His bare skin warmed her left cheek and his stomach cradled both her hands. She had finally stopped coughing, falling asleep. Aoshi and Misao were talking quietly. Tsubame laid in Yahiko's arms, both of them on the ground by the fire, snoring lightly.

Kenshin, in his blue half-stained gi draping down to his knees, stepped out of the darkness and walked towards Sano. He pointed his sword just below his neck.

'This is it. I'm going to have to tell him I betrayed the clan…' Sano thought darkly.

"Does she feel good in your arms?" A small strained smile played on Kenshin's face. His face was contorted between jealousy, curiosity, and some sort of relief. Truly, he couldn't even adopt a proper tone of voice. Sano let out a small surprised grunt, but he quickly closed his mouth again when he saw amber flash in the hitokiri's eyes. Sano shrugged his shoulders and loosened his arms from Kaoru's body. He lifted her up a little, like an offering to a god.

Kenshin gracefully took her body from his, letting his arms make skin contact wherever they can. He let her head rest upon his bare chest and walked into the tent, leaving the others outside.

Being the master, he gets the tent.

They had found more things in Kenshin's saddle bags, including a ragged futon and some blankets. Carefully, Kenshin laid her down on the cloth before slipping in and pulling the blankets over them. Once he was laying down, he took the unconscious Kaoru and draped her body over his. He looked past her shoulder as he slipped his hands and arms into her coat, to feel the warmth of her back. Chest to chest, he let the rhythm of her heart and her body warmth to lull him to sleep. She was his only respite from the restless reality that held him captive since the war started.

Peace encompassed them both for the rest of the night.

Kaoru woke up to the sound of his breathing. She blinked her eyes under the covers and sighed. She tried to pull away but realized instead that she was firmly entangled with his body. Both of them were half-naked, the only thing covering her was a coat that had slipped down her upper shoulders. She tried again to pull away, but his hold grew firmer, tugging at her to come back down to his warmth. Kenshin groaned almost pleadingly, his eyes ran beneath his lids, indicating he had again slipped into a fitful dream.

Kaoru touched his forehead and immediately his arms loosened, letting her breathe a little more. Kaoru would have completely disengaged her body from his if not for the cold that suddenly replaced the vacuum that filled his absence. She gasped when she emerged from the covers, swallowing a mouthful of cold air and hurting her already aching throat. She coughed in rasps, her weak body shook in convulsions, as she pulled her coat on again. She felt his eyes open and stare at her, thus she turned her head towards him. He slid his hand up and down her back, warming the skin in question.

Her guard was down. It was so early in the morning, she obviously was not thinking of what she was doing.

The look on her face, he knew, was endearment. A loving smile slowly dawned upon her face, even more brilliant than the shades of dawn that played behind her back through the thin material of the tent. She brought a finger to his cheek, tracing the scar gently. He took her hand in his and kissed it worshipfully, she closed her eyes in response and sighed. She let herself be pulled down on to his body once more. Her lips would have landed on his shivering lips--he was already panting for her kiss, already letting out what shallow breaths he could afford--if not for the grunt emitted by an impatient Aoshi just outside the tent.

The change was instantaneous, Kaoru immediately pulled away, her eyes filled with sudden realization of what was happening. 'No! I can't…'

Kenshin watched the emotions on her face. Rejection and apprehension were the most apparent. He sobbed silently before letting her go.

Freedom was never more painful for Kaoru as she ran outside the tent. She shrugged off her coat and jumped into the river. Again it met her desperation as it tried to calm her panicked state.

Why do you do that?
'I c-can't. Its just too confusing. I have a feeling that it will not go so well.'
The end is near and cannot be avoided.
'But it doesn't have to be painful does it?'

Silence ensued, her tears fell down.

'It's not fair. I refuse to fall for him.'
It is destined.
'I'm destined to pain?'
Something like that.

Kaoru clenched her fists and shouted in the water. 'How could you let it turn out like this? You said I would be protected!'

I said you would be protected from death, not pain.
'Is that all you can tell me? Isn't there something I could do?'

She could feel the solemnity of her gift, the goddess's thoughts were almost transparent to her.

You could visit the prophetess.

Kaoru left no tracks as she galloped towards the depths of the night. She took the consciousness of everyone around her by simply touching them when they came to help her. She most enjoyed electrocuting Kenshin again. Though it was just a spark, Kenshin had "oro-ed" quite loudly when he tried to bring her closer that morning. After that, it was Aoshi who had tried to examine Kenshin. No one knew what had happened so one by one, she brought a finger to the back of their necks. She also messed with their memories a little, just so they won't immediately realize that she had gone off alone.

She had forgotten about a certain rooster-head though, who had been avoiding Kenshin this whole time. Curious , he followed her on Aoshi's horse. Sano grinned at the thought of Aoshi waking up to find his horse missing. Unfortunately, he's going to have to miss the expression (however minimal) of distaste on Aoshi's face when he realizes that he had taken the rest of the supplies.