Chapter Eleven: Remembering

Tsubame and Yahiko were riding on the lone horse while the rest walked. Needless to say that Aoshi was supremely irked by the sudden disappearance of the other horse—especially since he couldn't remember whether or not he had tied them down the night before. He, and the rest of them, woke up on the ground completely disoriented and confused. Aoshi, rather than dwelling needlessly on how he had erred, resulted to a more rational action: blame Sanosuke Sagara. He is, after all, the only person who disappeared—that he could remember, that is.

They made it back to camp. A powerful breeze came out to meet them, and in the span of a moment, Kenshin became aware of the flower petals that blew around him. The realization struck him and it was more than he could bear. It felt as if the whole world poured down onto his head, burying him in a fit of emotions, memories, and images that plagued his mind without pause. Down on his knees, he cried out in twisted pain, lasting only a moment.

"Kenshin! Are you alright?" Misao looked down upon the hitokiri, the gold in his eyes undeniable.

"Misao," was all that he could manage in a slightly overwhelmed voice.

Kenshin stood up and looked around him. Everything was suddenly strange and familiar. He saw Aoshi looking at him as if he had lost his mind—which probably wasn't far from the truth. At first he couldn't remember, but as he walked along the garden, he came about a flowerbed that he knew he hasn't seen before.

Peace spread across his face. A small smile played upon his lips as endearment crept into his eyes. Jasmines. He picked one up and fingered it lovingly, willing it to be a lock of sable hair. "Kaoru…"

"Oh my god! Kaoru! She must be with Sano--" Misao was cut off.

"My lord! You are alive!" Genzai, one of Kenshin's advisors, ran up to the group followed by the other elders and some of the army officers. "We thought you were dead." Kenshin dropped the flower and resumed a blank face as he was escorted to the meeting room.

"Where is Yukishiro?" Kenshin asked with a steely expression.

"He has taken Carnelia!"

"How long have we been gone?"

"I have lost count of time—your Highness. He has had the city for weeks now. Where is Lady Kaoru?" Genzai asked, looking at Aoshi, Misao, Tsubame, and Yahiko. His face dimmed once he realized that Kaoru wasn't with them.

"Lady Kaoru?"

"Sorry your Highness, it was an assumption made by me."

"What business do you have with her?" Kenshin asked lightly, yet the tension of his shoulders betrayed him.

"Only that her presence was missed. She always had a nice smile." Genzai said, matching the lightness of Kenshin's voice.

Kenshin didn't reply. He merely sat down at his usual place at the table and looked at the reports that were before him, skimming papers with alacrity.

"Yahiko, you're in charge of camp detail. Tsubame, could you go find Tae-san and help her restock the supplies for what is left of our army. Genzai debrief the generals please. And Aoshi, I want a full report of Yukishiro's movements when I get back."

"Get back? But my Lord, we are in the middle of a war!" said one of the younger nobles.

"I am well aware of that." Kenshin proceeded to his room, carefully sliding the door closed. Behind him he could only hear Misao's voice in an awed whisper.

"I hope he finds Kaoru…"

Kenshin looked about him. No one had cleaned his room since Kaoru had gone, so the delicate tea set was still placed in the middle of the floor. The sheets smelled slightly of jasmine, though a certain staleness hung about the air. Kenshin walked over to the bed and buried his nose in the blankets…"

"Kaoru, where are you?"

Blind. She was caught in the blizzard. What little clothes she had on was no match to the anger of whatever god she had offended for her meddling ways.

You know, it's not everyday that a stray goddess gets hints on her prophecy. The voice in her head pondered.
'Isn't there some way that we could just merge? I hate hearing a separate voice in my head.'
You mean like Kenshin.
"Yes!"
I try to keep my distance so that you would have your own thoughts, your own self, for when I leave.
'But don't I die anyway?' Kaoru murmured bitterly.

The goddess didn't answer, but instead took pity on her.

Kaoru's heart stopped beating and suddenly a blue glow emerged from her frail body, parting the blizzard above her…and beckoning to any wanderer who would happen to be looking for her. Snow began to fall again as a breeze flowed into her mouth to fill her with new breath. Her lungs cringed at the cold and finally contracted, if only to use its muscles for heat.

Kaoru felt warmer, though still sickly. Her body wasn't ready for such a change, but she knew what had happened. With a bolder heart, she rode quickly through the cold, licking her lips as she mouthed his name lovingly. Kenshin…

She knew she was nearing camp when she caught a whiff of a strong breeze from the gardens. She heard the neighing of a horse nearing her; a rider mounted on a blood-red steed. She blinked her eyes twice out of habit, only to realize that she would much rather keep them closed, finding no energy keep on. She started to fall and thought "Just a little bit farther…" but she was too weak. The saddle finally gave in. She would have hit the ground had not the rider gave up on the horse to use his godlike speed to catch her. Falling gracefully into his arms, she fainted with his name still lingering on her lips. Ken…shin she whispered to him as he in turn drank her in with his golden eyes. A gaze not unlike to the very first time he laid his eyes on her.

Sleep, my love. I shall nurse you back to health myself…again. His eyes crinkled at this thought as he brought her with him to camp, running all the way.

Kaoru woke up to the feeling of something warm idly sliding down her throat. She swallowed and opened her mouth further, like a birdling blindly waiting for its food. She sighed when she realized that something was firmly pressed upon her lips. Something so familiar…someone from another life.

Slowly she tilted her head to him. He was softly kissing her, kneading her lips with his in cautious passion. She could feel in him a mixture of obsessed concentration at what he was doing. She knew, without seeing, that his forehead was furrowed, eyelids shut firm, and his hand was clutching tightly at the pillow by her head. She would have normally teased him for being in such a state—but she decided that she would rather kiss him back.

Kenshin dared to let a finger stray across her cheek. She, in turn, surprised him by firmly encircling her arms around his neck, pulling his body closer. Not to be outdone, he smirked and cupped her rear to pull her up to his body. Kaoru could only gasp. She pushed away and turned away in modesty as her arms covered her chest.

"I..Kenshin..we cannot… I mean. I don't know." Her breathing was labored. Painful.

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I'll leave now, but please finish your dinner," he tried to say graciously, but his voice cracked at certain moments. Hastily he got up and started to walk away.

"No don't leave!" She sprung up to blindly grab at his arm, but she ended up hugging his waist. Kenshin gulped. Softly, he held her shoulders and pushed her back. He kneeled down to level his eyes with hers, and though she cannot see, she looked at him directly. He engaged her in a soft kiss, while with nimble hands he slid the coat up firmly around her shoulders and let the back of his hand slide down her side. He started to pull away, but Kaoru needed more. She pulled back the guilty hand and pressed it to her left breast. With her other hand, she pulled at his neck to make him lie down next to her.

"Remember?" she murmured sleepily. Kenshin smiled. He slipped his hand into the coat and pressed it firmly above her heart. He closed his eyes.

"Everything." He murmured, as his heart matched hers, falling asleep.

Aoshi returned and saw that Kenshin's horse was in the stables.

"Where are they?" He asked Tsubame, who was carrying a tray to the kitchen. It held a half a bowl of cold soup and an uneaten banana.

"In the room, sleeping. Is this your coat, Aoshi-san?" She pulled up the cloth in question. He nodded once.

"Make sure they are not disturbed. The meetings shall be held in my quarters, so just tell Kenshin when he gets curious." He said nonchalantly as he went to the meeting room to escort the elders out of Kenshin's compound.

Tsubame smiled.

Kenshin looked at the seemingly lifeless divinity by him. So soft was her breathing that he had to really stare at her to see her chest move. Kenshin sighed. He had bundled her up in blankets since she no longer had that tattered coat on. He was debating whether he should reprimand Tsubame for the liberties she was taking when Kaoru opened her unseeing eyes. He watched her blink twice before sighing in surrender. He felt his heart break at the helpless look on her face—he wished for her sight back as well.

"Good evening, my lady," he whispered softly, caressing her cheek. She turned her head up at him and smiled warmly.

"Good evening, my lord."

"Would you like something to eat?"

"No. I'd much rather take a bath first," she replied solemnly as she placed a hand to his cheek, trying to make out his expression. He smiled for her—hoping that she caught the small smirk with the tip of her finger.

"A bath you shall have."

Kenshin picked her up, blankets and all, and proceeded to the bathouse. Her arms locked around his neck, she laid down her head on his chest and enjoyed the ride. Once there, a mute Tsubame looked up at him from the heater outside and modestly turned her eyes downwards, bowing slightly, in order to hide her smile. Kenshin raised an eyebrow and made a note to talk to her later.

"Dinner will be in your bedroom shortly." She whispered as they passed her, going into the bath.

"Thank you, Tsubame." Kaoru offered.

He put her down and watched the layers of blankets fall of her body shamelessly. She was thinner than before, but no less beautiful. Kaoru smiled and put up her hand to find him; he grasped it and led her to the bath, helping her balance as she lowered herself into the water. He pulled a stool from the side and grabbed the oils that were laid out for them, no doubt by Tsubame. Kenshin sat down and carefully gave her a bath.

Kaoru was completely spent, so she was in a daze for most of it. Kenshin scrubbed her legs, dropping small kisses on her calves and feet. It felt like a blur. The next thing she knew was that Kenshin was talking to her as he finished tying her obi.

"Can you walk to the bedroom?"

"Ye-yes… I think so."

"Good, I'll be there in a minute."

Kaoru found herself locked outside the bathhouse, completely dumbfounded. She frowned and put up her fingers to the door and laid her cheek to it, wanting to go in again. She closed her eyes and listened to Kenshin take his own bath. He tried to focus, but he couldn't help but utter her name as he relieved his newly found memories of her.

Kaoru was in deep thought when he opened the door. She landed neatly on his chest with a muffled exclaimation, yet she made no move to back away. Rather she tilted her head up at him.

She placed her hand on his forehead.

They were together on a cloud floating above the calm of the ocean.

Kenshin on top of her, uttering her name as he passionately gave himself to her. She held fistfuls of his hair in her hand as she tried to breathe. She saw Kenshin, right before its finality, place one hand above her heart as he dropped a small kiss on her forehead. She sighed at the sight of their past selves shuddering as they experienced each other for the first time.

Laying down next to her, he scooped up her limp body and draped it across his, fitting her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. Before drifting off to sleep, however, she asked him a question.

"Why did you place your hand on my chest? You could have lost your balance."

"The heart beats differently when in love. I wanted to know if it's true."

"If it beats differently?"

"If you loved me…"

"Oh." Kaoru felt like pulling away. "What did you discover?" She asked cold and nonchalant.

Kenshin looked at her fondly and tightened his hold on her. "That my heart was beating too loudly for me to even hear yours." He smiled at her dreamily. Kaoru giggled and grabbed his hand, placing it above her heart once again.

"Here," she said. "Try again."

Kenshin assumed a look of absolute concentration. "Hmm…"

"Well?"

Kenshin smiled. He leaned in forward to kiss her and stopped, seconds away from her lips. "I think…"

"Yes?" she whispered, only half-aware of the conversation.

"My heart is beating too loudly again…"

"Enough" Kenshin whispered. He pulled her hand away and looked at her reproachfully. "I remember, Kaoru. Please, stop."

"I can't help it. I want it all back," she sobbed into his bare chest.

"I do too. But if we lose ourselves this time, we'll lose it forever."

"Kenshin, please…" so many desires rushed through her body, though very few of them were physical.

"Kaoru…" he picked her up and walked to the bedroom with a determined expresion. He laid her down on the bed. Tucking loose bangs behind her ear, he looked deeply into her eyes, willing her to feel all his emotions despite her blindness. "Kaoru, I know that I haven't been doing this properly, so let me start now." He leaned in further to whisper into her ear. "Goddess of fate, Kaoru Kamiya, will you marry me?"