A/N: Enjoy the new chapter, thanks for all the reviews.

Warning: Possible triggers; mentions of abuse, rape, murder, and hallucinations… think that's it… sorry if I miss anything.

Disclaimer: This goes for the whole story. I don't own SPN or the characters… if I did, Gabriel and Balthazar would still be in it and wreaking havoc together because that sounds awesome and Dean and Castiel would be married…

"Dean," Meg started. "We need to talk,"

Dean sighed, "Can't we do this later?" He whined. All me wanted to do was sit with Castiel, just the two of them.

"No, we have to talk now! Just you, me, Ali, Crowl, and Rube,"

Dean sighed and looked at Castiel, who was looking down at his hands. He cupped the smaller boys cheek, making him look up at him.

"I'll be back in a minute, okay?" He said softly, smiling.

Castiel smiled back – although not as confidently as Dean – and nodded. Dean leant forward and kissed him on the forehead, staying there with his lips against Castiel's skin for a moment before pulling back and following his friends. Although Dean wasn't sure he'd be calling them that soon.

They lead him out of the building and into the quad area. It was basically a scare of grass about 10 paces wide in between four building with four benches, one against each wall. No one ever really went there because… well, there was just no reason to. Except for privacy.

When they got to the far corner, furthest away from the door, they all spun round to stare at Dean, almost making him crash into Ruby. He stopped just in time and waited for someone to say something.

"What the hell?" Meg yelled after a moment.

"What?" Dean was genuinely confused.

"You're queer? How could you not tell us this? I mean, why did we have to be enlightened at the same time as the rest of the school?" Alastair asked.

"Well, it was easier to just say it once to the whole school than having to say it twice or three times…"

"And what do we get out of this?"

"What do you mean?" This has nothing to do with them! What do they want?

"Well, Crowley sleeps with guys to get us free stuff like that Nikki Minaj concert you refused to attend with us. What're you going to do? Especially with weir- Castiel-" Ruby corrected herself – "Unless…" An evil smile grew across her face. She held her index finger up to Dean to indicate for him to wait as she grabbed Alastair and Meg's arms with each hand and inclined her head to Crowley indicating for him to follow too. They backed further into a corner and she started whispering furiously to the others. Dean could only see Alastair's face as they were all stood in a circle but he defiantly didn't like the smile that spread across his face as he nodded along with what the others were saying, all adding their own little bit to Ruby's plan.

They all turned round to face Dean, stood in a line and all sporting the same grin.

"Okay, here's what's going to happen," Ruby said as her and Meg stepped forward and each linked arms with him.

"You," Meg continued, "Are going to be the perfect boyfriend to sweet little Cassie. You're going to hug him and kiss him and protect him…"

Crowley, who was stood next to Alastair in front of Dean and the girls' carried on.

"Then, you're going to be so trustworthy that Cassie is going to fall in love with you and tell you all his most guarded secrets," He smirked.

Alastair took it from there, "Then you're going to report them all back to us and we'll find a way to use them to our advantage and make his life here a living hell,"

They really thought he'd do that? Dean thought in disgust. Then he felt sick because he realized if it were anyone else, he would have. Just because his friends thought it would be fun. Shit, I'm a terrible person! Dean shook his head. Was. I was a terrible person. I'm different now. Cas is different, he isn't just anyone.

"No," Dean answered firmly. They looked so shocked. The girls dropped Dean's arms and turned to stand in front of Crowley and Alastair, facing Dean. Luckily, the girls were shorter than the boys so they could all stare at him.

"What?" Meg demanded.

"I'm not going to do that to him!" Dean was getting angry. He wasn't like that. Not anymore. "I care about him and I'm not going to hurt him for your sick pleasure!" With that, he turned on his heals and started heading out the pod but Alastair's voice stopped him.

"If you walk away now, don't bother coming near any of us again!"

Dean paused. If he didn't hang around with them, he'd be classed as uncool. He'd never been uncool before. Could he handle that? They'd make his life hell. But then he remembered Castiel. And he walked away.

He went back into the cafeteria and saw Castiel sat at the same place Dean left him only now he had his cell phone pressed against his ear. Dean walked up to him but stopped a few steps away so he could hear the conversation.

"Okay… Yeah… I know… But-… I don't think he'd want me there… Why should we anyway? After everything he did… I don't care… Fuck obligations!" Dean watched him, trying to figure out what was happening.

"What if…" Whatever the person on the other end of the phone said, Castiel's shoulders slumped.

"I know she'd want me to but… Fine. Bye," Castiel put his phone on the table and stared at it for a minute, his back to Dean.

Dean decided to take this opportunity to pretend he'd just gotten back. He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling into his neck. Castiel tensed for a second but then relaxed into Dean's embrace.

"Hey," Dean mumbled into his neck, kissing it lightly.

"Hi," Castiel breathed back, rubbing Dean's arms.

He let got and sat next to him, holding his hand, that's when he noticed Castiel's eyes were watering.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concert building up inside him.

Castiel was about to say one this but changed his mind.

"No," He went for instead, huffing a laugh and running his hands through his already disheveled hair, managing to make it stick up even more.

"What wrong?" Dean asked with genuine concern.

"Did I tell you where my Dad is?" He asked.

"No. I know he doesn't live with you but you never told me why, just that he went away,"

"He's in jail," Castiel stated bluntly.

"Oh…" Dean wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond to that.

Castiel bit his bottom lip before speaking again.

"Raph, Gabe, Uriel and Balth are all out tonight. If you want, you can come round and I'll explain…" He invited.

"Sure, what time?"

"5:30?"

"Okay, deal," He smiled. Him and Castiel were going to have the house all to themselves and he was going to tell him a little more about his past.

The bell went for class and they had no lessons together for the rest of the day so Dean walked him to his lesson, despite Castiel's protests, and arranged to meet near Dean's Impala after school.

He couldn't concentrate on his lessons, too preoccupied with what Castiel was going to tell him tonight.

At the end of the day, Dean stood patiently outside the Impala waiting for Castiel and Sam. Eventually, Castiel walked over to him and Dean smiled in greeting and pulled Castiel closer to him, so their bodies were pressed firmly together.

He kissed him steadily at first but got slightly greedier as it went on before he spun them round so Castiel was pressed against the Impala, Dean's body trapping him there. They carried on until they heard someone cough and scuff their feet behind Dean.

Dean turned to see Sam stood awkwardly with one hand holding the strap to his backpack and the other deep in his pocket. The boy's head was down, looking at his feet, a small smile still visible on his face, which was slightly tinted pink.

Dean turned back when he felt Castiel pushing his shoulders lightly, trying to get from between Dean and the car, his face tinted with embarrassment too. He stepped back and freed Castiel, who smoothed down his Nirvana T-shirt before running a hand through his hair again.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said cheerfully.

"Hi Dean. Hey Cas," He smiled back.

"Hi Sam,"

There was a moment of awkward silence before Sam stepped past Dean and hugged Castiel. Castiel stood in shock for a second but hugged back.

"I'm glad Dean finally got his head out of his ass," He whispered to him.

Castiel laughed, "Me too," He whispered back.

Sam pulled away and grinned at them both.

"I'm going to wait in the car. Give you two a minute," He announced before climbing into the passenger seat.

Dean pulled Castiel closer again. "We still on for tonight?" He asked hopefully.

Castiel took a deep breath, smiled and nodded.

Dean smiled back and leant down to capture his lips in a kiss. This one was soft, closed mouthed. Just lightly touching. Their eyes were closed and Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck as Dean wrapped his around Castiel's waist. They reluctantly pulled apart and exchanged goodbyes before Castiel walked over to his car. Dean watched him until he got in before turning and climbing into his own. Sam smirked from the passenger seat.

"What?" Dean asked self-consciously.

"You look different with Cas than with all the girls. You look like a lovesick puppy," He grinned; practically bouncing in his seat he was so happy for his brother.

"Yeah, whatever," Dean muttered, starting up the car and driving home.

"So, is he actually your boyfriend now?" Sam asked cautiously, slightly dreading the answer. He knew how much of a moron Dean could be.

"Yeah, he is," Dean smiled again and Sam relaxed into his seat.

That night, Dean drove over to the Novak's house and got there fifteen minutes early. Instead of waiting in the car like a stalker he decided to just fake that his watch must have been running fast if Castiel asked.

He knocked and waited patiently.

After a minute, Castiel answered the door. He was wearing a thin baggy gray t-shirt and jogging bottoms and his hair was plastered to his head with water, slightly dripping. There were wet patches over the top of the shirt from the drips. He had no wristband and only his leather bracelet.

"Hi," Dean smirked.

"Hey, um, sorry. I went for a shower, must have spent longer than I planned," He muttered uncomfortably, stepping aside so Dean could come in.

"S'okay, I think my watch is running fast, actually," He glanced up at the clock in the hall as if to verify his statement. "Sorry," He added.

"It's okay,"

There was a brief silence, Castiel looking down at his bare feet and Dean watching him. "Are your brothers gone?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay," Dean stepped forward and bent his head to kiss Castiel, who kissed back and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck. Dean grabbed Castiel's narrow hips and pulled him closer before snaking them round. He placed his hands on the small of Castiel's back as Dean's tongue licked the other boy's bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. Castiel opened his mouth willingly and Dean slipped his tongue in, exploring his mouth as if for the first time.

Castiel groaned slightly, encouraging him. Dean slipped his hands lower, cupping his ass.

Castiel broke the kiss and gasped and rested his head on Dean's chest. Dean smirked in self-satisfaction. He moved his hands back up his back, one stopping under the back of his ribs and the other gripping the back of his neck.

Castiel realized he was getting Dean's shirt wet and went to pull back but Dean held him there.

"Um, you want to hang out down here or upstairs?" Castiel asked, looking up at him.

"Upstairs?" Dean requested hesitantly. Castiel nodded and took his hand, leading him upstairs into his room.

He closed the door and flicked the light on, Dean wondered over to the bed and slumped on the edge, kicking his shoes off, and shrugging off his jacket, dumping them on the floor and lying back so his legs were still off the edge and crossed his arms under his head.

Castiel walked over and Dean grabbed his arm, dragging him down to lie next to him but actually ending up with him on top of him. They both laughed and kissed again.

"Dean?" Castiel said as Dean kissed his neck.

"Hm?"

"About my Dad…" Dean stopped and looked into his eyes.

"Ready to tell me?"

Castiel nodded silently and swallowed. Dean crawled up the bed to lie on Castiel's pillows and pulled him up to lie next to him, one arm around his back and the other holding his bicep. Castiel lied on his right and Dean on his left so they were facing each other.

"When you're ready," Dean reassured, smiling encouragingly. Castiel rested his hands on Dean's chest.

"Um, it links into what happened to my Mom too,"

"Oh yeah, you said she died?"

"Yeah," Castiel looked down and pressed his lips in a thin line. Dean kissed him on the forehead and held him closer.

"Well, when I was born, the family was already pretty messed up, with Mom finding out Dad cheated when she got dumped with baby Balthazar and bills being tight after adopting Uriel and Raphael and with Balthazar and me needing baby stuff. Plus Gabriel was only four and just starting school. Michael was eight and, being the oldest, he was already pretty self reliant for most things," He paused and looked up at Dean. He nodded for him to continue and Castiel lowered his gaze to Dean's chest.

"They would have gotten a divorce but they are – were – devout Christians so they didn't believe in divorce," By the way Castiel said it, he clearly didn't agree. "Although I guess I should be thankful. Because they're – were – Christian they didn't believe in abortion either. If they did I probably would have been aborted. Dad told me that quite a lot," Dean's eyes narrowed. Who would say that to their own son? He didn't say anything though, just let him continue.

"The others always say it's not true to make me feel better but I could tell it was. Got to hand it to them for trying though. Dad was an alcoholic and Mom was depressed, that's why I was born premature. No lasting damage to me though. Dad was going to kill me, turn the incubator off. Gabe stopped him. For a four year old he was very good at understanding what was happening and that Dad shouldn't have been trying to pull the wires out. Obviously I don't remember this but Gabriel told me then when I asked Michael he reluctantly admitted it. Then yelled at Gabriel," He laughed at the memory.

"They argued a lot and Dad hit Mom all the time," Dean gasped but still remained silent.

"He hit Michael too. The hospital was practically his second home. Gabe always says it's his own fault. He was always trying to protect everyone else. He doesn't really believe that, obviously, he just says it so he doesn't show how much he really hated all the time Michael got hurt protecting him and us. He prevented Gabriel from quite a few visits, standing up for him and getting the worst of it. He did that for me, Uriel Balth and Raph too,"

He sighed and clutched Dean's shirt in fists, remembering all the time Michael had curled in on himself trying to block out as much of the pain as possible while Gabriel held Castiel back, tears streaming down all their faces. He didn't want to stop his brothers from helping Michael.

Hell, he wanted to be leading the charge. But Michael had made him swear, when he was eight and Gabriel was only four, that if Dad ever got violent with Michael or the others that he'd hold them back and let Michael take care of it. And if Gabriel ever got hurt, Michael would be there to draw Dad's attention away and Gabriel was told to get the others if they were there and get out of the room if they could. He didn't want his little brothers to see him get hurt.

Castiel took a deep breath as Dean pulled him closer and continued.

"I didn't talk until I was three. Mom was kind of worried but she couldn't take me to get checked to see if I had any problems because I had bruises everywhere and Dad wouldn't let her. He kept saying 'the longer it takes for him to start back chatting me, the better.' And my first word was 'help'. I said – or more, screamed – it while he was hitting me because I dropped my sippy cup.

"Michael told me he heard it and ran in, grabbed me and passed me to Gabriel, who ran out the room and, again, Michael took the beating for me. I started walking early though. Well, I tried to run first, like Gabriel. Uriel and Raphael had started walking months ago and Balthazar had taken his first steps the week before.

"Luckily, Dad was at the bar at the time so it was just Mom and us. She was a totally different person when Dad wasn't around. Usually she was quiet, withdrawn and submissive. Except when he was going to hurt us but he'd usually of knocked her unconscious by the time he got to us. But when he wasn't there she was always really happy and energetic, running around with us, teaching us games and playing them with us.

"Anyway, when Balthazar started walking she was really happy and I wanted to make her happy too. That's what Michael says anyway. And Gabriel was the fastest runner. He loved running. Still does. It's like an escape. I fell over a lot," He laughed again and Dean smiled, glad Castiel had some good times in his childhood, even if he was too young at the time to remember them now.

"But when I first walked, Dad was away at some bar I think. And Mom was really happy and she cried. Gabriel ran with me a lot in the garden, Balthazar ran with us too and Michael taught us games and how to play soccer and catch. Things a father should teach you,"

Dean thought back to his childhood. John would always make the effort to be around for him and Sammy. He vividly remembered the first time he'd caught a baseball from across the garden and how happy John was. And the first time he threw one hard enough to make it the full length of the lawn into John's glove. And John teaching Dean how to play soccer and football.

He remembered John teaching Sam too. When Sam was old enough the three of them would play soccer together, sometimes Dean against Sam with John in goal and sometimes Dean and Sam vs. John. Uncle Bobby would sometimes play too when he was round, which was quite a lot, but he'd sit out pretty early on as he had a bad knee.

"It was easier to get away from Dad after that," Castiel continued.

"Mom always said the next time he raised his fist to any of us she was leaving but she never followed through. When I started school I made a friend called Anna. She had really bright red hair and big brown eyes. Everyone made fun of her because her teeth were kind of big but she didn't mind, she laughed along too and as we got older she played along with the joke, proclaiming how much she loved carrots and hay," Castiel laughed.

"We were friends for years. She was the only other person I told about my Dad. She kept threatening to tell the police or her parents but I begged her not to and she just grumbled about how it makes her a terrible friend and cleaned up any cuts or scrapes I had. She started carrying round creams and pain medication in her school bag for me. I swear she had a whole pharmacy in there. We were inseparable.

"One night, when we were thirteen, we got drunk at her big brother's party and we lost our virginities to each other. The next morning we agreed that we were just best friends and we didn't have those kind of feelings for each other and to remain best friends. We didn't regret it though. She said that she glad she lost it to someone who she really cares about and who she knows cares about her. I agree with her," Dean nodded. He lost his to a hooker Ash bought him. Well, Ash's brother bought her for Ash for his fourteenth birthday and he gave her to Dean.

"We were still really close after that. Dad was practically drunk all the time. He used Jack Daniels as mouthwash. Mom stopped crying. Just, sort of, went numb. When he was out she wasn't vibrant anymore. She just sat in her room. When me, Balthazar, Uriel and Raphael were fourteen, Gabriel was eighteen and Michael was twenty-two, Gabriel and Michael still lived with us. They couldn't bring themselves to leave us with Dad. Plus, Michael and Gabe both had jobs so the bills weren't as tight. Which meant Dad drank even more but that's not the point

"Something really bad happened. Well, two bad things happened," He took a deep breath and curled closer to Dean, swallowing before starting again.

"A friend came round. A male friend. His name was Chris. We'd been friends for a few years and we flirted a lot. Well, he flirted; I blushed a lot and developed an unnatural fascination with the carpet," Dean chucked and kissed his still damp hair.

"I invited him round because Dad was supposed to be at the bar and he was when he got there. We went into our room and listened to music, he was into the same stuff I am, and he kissed me. Then he pulled back and apologized then I kissed him. We made out for a while then Dad banged into the room and caught us. Like I said, he was very Christian and yelled a lot, called us Faggots and disgusting and saying we were going to burn in hell. Well he said 'hell in burn' because he was very drunk but we got the point. He threw Chris out and I quickly text him saying I'd talk to him tomorrow and to just go home and then Dad came back up stairs,"

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut again, biting his lip. Dean looked down at his face in time to see tears spill out despite Castiel clearly trying to fight them. He hugged his tight and kissed his hair over and over again, shushing him.

When he stopped crying Dean expected him to leave it there, not wanting to continue, but he pressed on.

"So, he yelled at me a lot. Mom was out at Balthazar's track team race with Gabriel and Michael was at his part time job to pay for his student loans. Uriel and Raphael were at some party so it was just me and him. Mom was going to pick Uriel and Raphael up from the party on the way home then stop at Michael's work to get him. So, um, Dad pushed me onto my bed and-" He stopped again. Dean took a deep breath, as did Castiel, both preparing themselves for what he was about to say.

"He raped me," He breathed

Dean gasped and held him tighter as Castiel started shaking. Tears sprang to Dean's eyes and rolled down his cheek into Castiel wet hair. He kissed Castiel hair over and over again. He couldn't believe it. Why the hell would someone do that to their own kid? And why Cas? Poor Cas! Oh god, how the hell do I react? What do I say? Or do? Making a joke is definitely off the table. Raging about it probably wouldn't help. He settled for just crushing his body to his and rocking them slightly.

"That's not even all of it," Castiel whispered.

Wait, he said two bad things happened. 1) His Dad catching him and Chris and 2) The… Yeah. Dean couldn't even think it.

"Whenever you're ready," He whispered back. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the rest but if Castiel wanted to tell him, he was definitely going to listen.

"When he… finished," Dean cringed slightly. "I just sort of… stayed there. He went back downstairs to get his vodka and I heard the front door open. Mom and the others were back. She called out to say they were home and Balthazar shouted me to tell me he'd won. He ran upstairs to find me and I heard Dad shout something about me being a fag at my Mom, Mom tried to defend me and so did Michael and Uriel and Raphael but she told them to find me. Balthazar already had and he realized what'd happened, it was pretty obvious since I'd only moved to pull the blankets over me and he ran back downstairs past the others who came in my room and realized what'd happened and stayed with me.

"I heard Balth yelling at Dad and calling him a sick fuck. He told Mom what'd happened and she was quiet for a minute then they started screaming at each other. We all locked ourselves in my room, all sat on my bed hugging. There were bangs and things smashing then Mom was screaming, not words, just screaming. We heard her being dragged upstairs by her hair and being thrown into her room. Then the door slammed and locked. Dad went back downstairs and we heard bottle clanging together and Uriel peered out and he said he had a bunch of bottles of alcohol and a Zippo lighter…"

Dean froze. He really didn't like where this was going.

"And he opened the door and Mom tried to get out but he pushed her back and threw one of the bottles at her and he closed the door and we couldn't see any more. We heard a lot of glass shattering and Mom begging him not to, then the door opened and Dad stepped out and-" He took a deep breath, "Threw the lighter in and closed the door,"

Dean's mouth fell open and he wanted to cry more but he decided to stay strong for Castiel. He was sobbing quietly, his hands now over his eyes, probably remembering that day. Dean wanted to hard to drag him out of that memory. He kissed the side of his head, wiping the tears away with his thumb and kissing his cheek then the side of his mouth then finally his lips. It wasn't passionate, just comforting.

"I think I passed out then because I woke up in the grass outside with my brothers sitting with me and there were sirens and flashing lights and vans and cars everywhere. They were all crying and when Michael saw I was conscious he hugged me and apologized for not being there and kept blaming himself and I couldn't deny it because I was so confused. I didn't remember what happened at first, my subconscious must have blocked it out but then I remembered and I couldn't stop crying and we all had a group hug while the fire department put the fire out. That's when I saw my first hallucination; it was Mom stood near an ambulance crying.

"It didn't burn too much but there was no hope for Mom, she'd been dead ten minutes by the time they got there apparently. Dad's a great actor so he managed to persuade the police his wife killed herself and he was brokenhearted. When the police came up to us to ask what happened he heard what he'd said and he gestured that he's kill us if we didn't go along with it so we lied," He put his arms around Dean and shuffle closer, Dean pulled him in.

"Baby?" Dean whispered.

"I'm fine," Castiel reassured him, his voice slightly higher than usual.

Dean kissed his cheek again.

"So after that we got our stuff from the house and moved into a motel. Mom didn't get a funeral, just a headstone back in New York,"

"I'm so sorry," Dean said, not quite sure what else he could say.

"Not your fault," He waved it off. "The next two year was basically from motel to motel, school to school. I lost contact with Anna and Chris. Then the police got enough evidence to put Dad away and Michael filed for custody of me, Uriel, Raphael and Balthazar until we turn eighteen. They were going to let him get the others but put me in an institute because of the hallucinations but he managed to persuade the court he could handle me because he'd just gotten his degree and was a proper psychiatrist. Then we moved to Kansas and… that's it,"

"Wow," Dean started, coughing nervously. "That's a lot to take in,"

"Yeah,"

They sat in silence for a while.

"So," Castiel started, turning so he was looking up at Dean. "The others wont be back until about midnight, it's only 6:45…" He smirked up at him.

Dean grinned back and captured his lips in a very passionate kiss.

A/N: A lot of info in this one, got to learn a lot about poor Cas. Please review