The title for chapter thirteen is from…Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Congrats to Easterly Winds, CardboardCreative, and Wickedgreenchild.

Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. I don't own Harry Potter. End of story.

I have to say, Mara did a pretty good job with the Snape scene. And thanks to CardboardCreative, who inspired me for it, even if you didn't know it at the time. (You mentioned that someone probably saw Elphaba and Glinda kissing in Chapter 12. Originally, I wasn't going to have someone see them, but then, I decided…what if someone saw them, just not a bad person? And that's how that scene came about.)

Chapter 14: On the Right Track

If there was one thing that Elphaba had learned ever since she came to England, it was that Dumbledore was a man of his word. If he said that something was going to happen, usually, that something did happen. This was once again proved in regards to the Grimmerie.

A few days after Christmas, Elphaba was stopped by Dumbledore in the hallways. "Good afternoon, Fae," he greeted her. "Do you remember what we talked about a week ago?"

Elphaba sighed. How could she forget? "Yes," she muttered. "Shall I go and get the Grimmerie now?"

"That would be best, yes," Dumbledore said. "We need to get a move on; I've caught wind of the fact that Voldemort is planning something."

"Like what?" Elphaba frowned. "Another attack?"

"Something involving dementors," Dumbledore replied. "Although I don't think you need to worry, Fae. You're completely capable of casting a Patronus, aren't you?"

"Yes, but…" Elphaba bit her lip as a thought came to her. "Albus, the students. I know you don't want them to know about all this- Voldemort and the like, but there's a war going on around them. They have to know."

"Fae-" Dumbledore began.

"No, Albus. Listen to me." Obviously, Elphaba had been thinking about this for a long time. "I've talked to the Defense teacher, Kim Johnson, a few times. She's completely incompetent. Do you know what she's teaching them? For Merlin's sake, what will a Stunning Spell or a Disarming Spell do against Voldemort, or even Death Eaters? I know that you want to shield them, I know that they're only children, but Albus, what good will shielding them do when they're being tortured and killed?"

"Fae," Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder, "I know that you worry about the students. I do too. But there's only so much we can teach them, especially the younger ones. Their magic simply isn't strong enough to sustain higher power spells. What else do you suggest?"

"I don't know." Elphaba tried to think. "Didn't Harry run a…Defense team or class or something during his fifth year as a student? Or at least that's what he told me. Why can't we do the same? We could find someone to teach the older students actual defense spells, such as the Patronus, and seeing that my Dueling Class is only for third years and above, this would also give some of the younger students a chance to learn some battle tactics."

Dumbledore seemed deep in thought for a little while. "You know, Fae, that may be a worthwhile effort. Congratulations, you are now in charge of the Hogwarts Dueling Club. Do you want me to make an announcement about it tonight at dinner?"

"Wait! Me? Why am I in charge?" Elphaba crossed her arms. "I already have teaching, being the Head of Gryffindor House, and fighting Voldemort on my plate."

"Well, unless you can find someone else…" Dumbledore trailed off and abruptly changed the subject. "I'll meet you in my office in ten minutes with the Grimmerie, shall I?" Without another word, he swept around the corner and disappeared.

Elphaba stood in the middle of the hallway. That man can be so infuriating sometimes, she though, her fists clenched. Then, she realized that Dumbledore was expecting her and hurried away as well.

She opened the portrait guarding her rooms and was greeted by…Harry? "Harry, what are you doing here?" Elphaba asked.

"Is that how you greet all your friends?" Harry asked, throwing her hands in the air.

"Only the annoying ones," Elphaba answered with a smirk before disappearing into her bedroom. Glinda had moved the Grimmerie into Elphaba's rooms a few days ago, since they slept in the same room most of the time anyway.

"Fine," Harry called after her. "If that's how you feel about me, then I'll just-" He paused as Elphaba returned with the faded leather book in her arms. "The Grimmerie?" Harry asked, coming forward.

"No," Elphaba snapped sarcastically. "It's a cookbook. I'm bringing it to the House Elves, you see."

"You're way too sarcastic for your own good," Harry shook his head in exasperation.

"And you're way too bloody cheerful," Elphaba shot back. "Well, are you coming with me to Dumbledore's office?"

"Yeah, sure." Harry and Elphaba walked down the corridor in silence, until Elphaba realized that the person that she could dump her newest responsibility on was right next to her.

"Harry?" she began. "Has your department been terribly busy lately?"

"My department? You mean the Aurors?" Harry frowned. "Well, no. Voldemort hasn't been up to much lately. Why?"

"Dumbledore wants to start a Dueling Club," Elphaba explained. "Do you think you could-"

Harry laughed. "A Dueling Club? Doesn't he remember what happened last time he tried to instigate a Dueling Club at Hogwarts? Lockhart was a bloody joke, I'll tell you that."

"Exactly," Elphaba agreed, although she had absolutely no idea who Lockhart was. "And I think the students would really benefit from having an Auror come in and-"

"Fae, you're a perfectly capable dueler," Harry said. "Why can't you teach them?"

"I already teach Dueling," Elphaba argued. "Besides, you can give them a few pointers from a different point of view. Things like that."

"Well…we'll see," Harry decided. "I'm not promising anything. Although if you need a demonstrator, I'll duel you. I've always wanted to, anyhow."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "Alright, Potter," she challenged. "You're on." By this time, they had reached the gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office.

"Licorice Wands," Elphaba said the password and began ascending the stairs with Harry behind her.

"Licorice Wands?" Harry asked. "I thought it was Chocolate Frogs."

"He changed the password a month ago," Elphaba explained. "Apparently, he had an 'unfortunate experience' involving a chocolate frog and his socks." Harry snickered silently. Some things just never change.

Harry knocked on the door that opened to Dumbledore's office. "Fae? Come in, please," Dumbledore called from behind said door.

"Hello, Albus," Harry said, slipping into the office with Elphaba right behind him. "You don't mind if I join you two, do you?" Elphaba closed the door and then sat down in one of the red armchairs next to Harry in front of Dumbledore's desk.

"Of course not, dear boy," Dumbledore said jovially. "Now, Fae, you've brought the Grimmerie? Good, good. Let's see it, then."

"Careful," Elphaba warned, handing the old spell book over to the aged headmaster. "It's very old and quite fragile, I'd imagine."

"Well, then, in that case," Dumbledore put the Grimmerie on his desk, "we'll just set it here, why don't we? May I?" he asked, indicating that he wanted to open the book.

"Go ahead," Elphaba gave her consent. "Although it probably will just be a bunch of nonsense to you." Dumbledore took the Grimmerie and began to examine the spells.

"Why Fae," he exclaimed, "I don't see how you can read this. This certainly is not in any language that I'm familiar with, and I'd like to consider myself adept in a fair few. This is just a group of squiggles to me."

"Yes, that's what most people see," Elphaba explained. "Although the 'squiggles' rearrange themselves into words for me."

"Can one learn to read these spells?" Harry asked, itching to take a look at the previously mentioned 'squiggles'.

"Sure," Elphaba shrugged. "Although it definitely takes a long time and a lot of practice. Glinda's been learning for five years, and she can't read all of the spells yet, to the best of my knowledge."

"Fae, could you do one of these spells now?" Dumbledore asked, handing the book back to her.

"Which one?" Elphaba flipped through the pages of the ancient book, looking for one that she was familiar with. "The levitation spell?" For a moment, she was brought back in time to that one horrible day when she discovered her power for reading the Grimmerie in the Wizard's palace.

"Anything," Dumbledore said, sitting back down behind his desk.

Elphaba stood up and looked around, looking for something to levitate. She picked up a random silver instrument from Dumbledore's desk.

"Don't you know the spells by heart?" Harry teased.

"Quiet," Elphaba snapped. She looked down at the spell and began casting. "Ahven, tatey, aven tatey aven. Ah may ah tah tay may tu se say ta!" As she finished the last syllable, the silver instrument began to rise.

"And there you have it," Elphaba said. "The lost language of spells."

"Here, let me see that." Harry suddenly picked up the Grimmerie from the desk. He flipped through a few pages and squinted at the words that had begun to form in front of his eyes.

"Ah tay, tah tem, setey ah meyta," Harry slowly pronounced, pointing at another random silver instrument. The occupants of the office all jumped as that instrument exploded with a display of red fireworks.

"W-wait!" Elphaba gasped, her eyes wide. She lost her concentration, and the first silver instrument clattered to the ground. "How- how did you read that?"

"I-I don't know." Obviously, Harry had not been expecting anything to happen either. "It just…formed words for me."

"Fae, you said that as far as you know, you and Glinda are the only people that can read this?" Dumbledore asked, indicating the Grimmerie. Elphaba nodded, still in shock. "Then…Harry," Dumbledore gasped, seemingly much happier than ever before. "This is what we're looking for. This could possibly turn the tide of this war for us!"

"What do you mean?" Elphaba demanded. "How could this change the war?"

"The power the Dark Lord knows not," Harry breathed, understanding what Dumbledore was getting at. "There has to be a spell in this book that can help us defeat Voldemort. Is there, Fae?" He turned to look as Elphaba.

"I don't know," Elphaba replied, annoyed. "I don't look through the Grimmerie on a regular basis. It reminds me too much of…never mind. And what power are you talking about anyway?"

"The prophecy," Dumbledore reminded her. "Don't you remember the prophecy?"

"No," Elphaba said curtly. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"I don't think we ever actually told her," Harry informed Dumbledore. He sat down again and motioned for Elphaba to do the same. "There was a prophecy made about me, Fae. It says that neither Voldemort nor I can live while the other survives, and that I will have a power 'that the Dark Lord knows not.' If it is true that no one else can read the Grimmerie, that the words in there are really a lost language, then we just might have found the power."

"So…you think there could be a spell in there that could defeat Voldemort?" Elphaba frowned in concentration, trying to remember if there was such a spell. "I could look, I suppose, but…Harry, you have to know, doing spells from the Grimmerie take a lot of effort and energy. That's why I prefer spells from this world. And think of how large-scale a spell that you're suggesting would be. Even turning Fiyero into a scarecrow took a lot of energy; think of the amount of energy you'd need to perform a spell from the Grimmerie to destroy Voldemort."

"The benefits outweigh the risks, though," Harry argued. "If this works, think of how many lives could be saved."

"Another thing, though, Harry," Elphaba said, "is that you'll have to learn to read the Grimmerie properly. Do you remember how long it took for you to read that spell? You're not going to have that much time when you're facing Voldemort."

"Could you teach me, then?" Harry asked. "Help me with decoding these spells- we should be able to find a spell to defeat Voldemort together."

"Harry-" Elphaba began.

"Fae, I know you have problems with this book. Frankly, the fact that these spells hold so much power scares me too," Harry pleaded. "But we have to. There's no other way to defeat Voldemort. We've exhausted all our resources already."

Elphaba lowered her eyes to the floor for a minute before looking back up at an expectant Harry and Dumbledore. "I-" She sighed heavily. "I don't really have a choice in this whole deal, do I? I'll meet you next Sunday in the library, if I must."

"Thanks, Fae. We really appreciate this," Dumbledore said.

"Here." Elphaba picked up the Grimmerie and gave it to Harry. "Take it and practice reading it. We'll see what we need to work on next week."

"Alright," Harry nodded. "Thank you again. Dumbledore." He nodded and left the office, closing the door behind him.

"Albus," Elphaba began once she was sure that Harry was out of earshot. "Harry has consented to teaching this new 'Dueling Club…" Revenge was a dish best served cold.

It was twenty minutes after six am when Glinda opened Elphaba's door and peeked out to see if anyone was in the hallway. She'd finally decided that since she couldn't keep Elphaba from getting up at six in the morning, she might as well join her.

However, this morning Glinda had discovered that she had no clothes of her own lying around Elphaba's rooms. She would have to return to her own rooms to find something suitable—unless she wanted to wear Elphaba's unflattering black frocks. And that was something she passionately wanted to avoid.

So wearing only a robe and carrying yesterday's underclothes under her arm, Glinda carefully and quietly stepped into the hallway outside Elphaba's rooms. She hoped not to run into anyone—she couldn't imagine that other people wandered around Hogwarts this early in the morning anyway—but her hopes were soon dashed when she turned a corner and ran into Professor Snape.

Rather foolishly, Glinda had been doing the whole-walking-stealthily-thing which only made it look more obvious that she was doing something suspicious. And to make matters worse, Glinda instantly stood at attention upon seeing Snape and her eyes grew wide with surprise. Not to mention the fact that she was wearing nothing but a robe and was only a matter of a few feet away from Elphaba's rooms.

"Miss Upland," Snape said as he looked up and down at the woman standing before him, clutching a bra, panties, and stockings with her right hand and trying to keep her robe from opening up and revealing anything with her left hand. "May I inquire what you are doing wandering school corridors dressed like that?"

Glinda tittered nervously, "Oh, uh, no reason!" she lied. Glinda was a horrible liar.

"Right," Snape said sarcastically. "Of course. You were just getting some morning air!"

The blond witch relaxed a little, "Yes, that's what I was doing!"

"Except that if you wanted morning air, you would be outside or better yet, wearing actual clothing. And why are you down here anyway, I thought your rooms were over—" Snape stopped abruptly. Then he quickly walked around Glinda and peered down the hallway. "You came from Fae's rooms."

"Oh, yeah… well, see, I had to borrow her shower because mine wasn't working, so, uh, that's why I'm dressed like this at 6:25 in the morning!" Glinda said quickly. Then she smiled inwardly—that was a pretty good lie for Glinda!

And Snape thankfully decided not to ask Glinda any more questions (like why if she'd borrowed Elphaba's shower was her hair perfectly dry and was she carrying her underwear instead of wearing it). So he let a hint of a smile creep onto his face before saying, "Of course, that makes perfect sense! Well, good day, Miss Upland!" and walking around the corner.

As soon as he was gone, Glinda breathed a sigh of relief. Then she hurried up to her rooms. She didn't think that Snape would knock on Elphaba's door and ask what was going on, but Snape wasn't a Slytherin for nothing. He did.

Elphaba sighed dramatically when she heard someone knocking at her portrait. "Glinda, you can get your toothpaste later—" Elphie began before opening the portrait to see not her blond female lover, but her dark-haired male friend. "Snape," she said, slightly shocked.

"Fae," Snape said. "May I come in? I'd like to ask you about some things."

"Oh," Elphaba said, "um…sure." She let him into the room and closed the portrait behind him. Oh, dear Merlin, what was this about? Hopefully he hadn't run into Glin—

"I ran into Glinda coming here, and she was wearing nothing but a robe and carrying her undergarments. She said to ask you for the story," Snape began rather bluntly.

The story? Glinda had spent the night in Elphie's rooms and had no clean clothes there so she'd returned to her rooms to find some. "Well, being such a morning person, she came over for an early breakfast but she spilled…hot tea all over her clothes and I made her take off her clothes so she wouldn't burn herself and gave her a robe so she could return to her rooms," Elphaba lied quickly.

A wry smile twisted the corners of Snape's mouth. "And your story happens to be completely different from Glinda's because…" he said, waiting for her to fill in the blank.

The green witch's eyes flared. "You said she told you to ask me for the story!"

"So I lied. It doesn't matter. What matters is that something very peculiar is happening around here, and I want to find out what it is—what's going on, Fae?" Snape pushed for an explanation.

"Nothing!" Elphaba exclaimed quickly.

Snape nodded, unconvinced. "The other day, when it was all white and snowy outside, I went for a walk in the cold air and as I was strolling around the castle grounds, I saw something very unusual. Two young women, kissing. On the mouth. There may have been tongue involved."

Had Elphaba been born with peach-colored flesh, she would have been beet red right about now. But instead she was turned a bright lime green. It would have been highly comical if she hadn't been so stressed.

"Listen, Snape, I…well, Glinda…I mean, we…"

The potions professor looked slightly amused at how panicked Elphaba was about this whole deal. "Just be honest, Fae: are you and Glinda romantically involved?"

Elphaba was not going to lie to her friend, as much as she wanted to at this point. "Yes," she said quietly.

Snape nodded, "Well, that explains many things. If you two are sleeping together, then by all means, continue to do so—just please be a little more subtle about it, there are people here who might not be thrilled with such a relationship."

The green witch was surprised. He didn't care; he'd just wanted to know if his suspicions were correct.

"And better the blond woman than Tiggular, anyway," Snape finished as he turned to leave.

"Yeah," Elphaba said breathlessly, still surprised that Snape was so accepting of Glinda and Elphaba's relationship.

Snape pushed the portrait open, then paused and turned back to Elphaba. "Oh, and another thing—please remember that despite the illusion the corridors may give you that my rooms and yours are far away, your room is actually situated directly atop the dungeon. If you wouldn't mind taking the volume down a little at night, it might help make it easier to sleep." Then the professor walked out, letting the portrait fall shut behind him.

Elphaba was still staring at the entrance of her rooms, wide-eyed at Snape's last comment, when Glinda returned two minutes later in a sparkly light green dress—close to the shade of Elphaba's blushing cheeks, ironically—and told her that she thought Snape was on to them.

Elphaba liked Sunday afternoons. They were calm and peaceful. She was usually done with grading her students' homework by then and was free to do what she pleased.

This Sunday was no different. It was around three o'clock in the afternoon, and Elphaba had just spent all morning finishing up her fourth years' essays. ("A History of Light and Dark Spells"). She arched her back in an almost cat-like manner before standing up. Remembering her promise to meet Glinda in her rooms at three thirty, Elphaba left her bedroom and went into the halls outside. She walked up several flights of stairs and found herself face-to-face with a panicked Harry.

"Fae!" He gasped. "I've been looking all over for you!"

Elphaba immediately picked up on the fact that something was wrong. "What is it?" she asked urgently. "What's happened now?"

"Voldemort's attempting to kidnap Fudge!" And just like that, Elphaba's relaxing afternoon disappeared.

It's back to cliffhangers for me…

Coming up: A dementor attack and a capture.

-Wolfie