Chapter 4: Good to see you again… For real?

I can't seem to avoid staring at my phone.

We'll continue our talk tonight. I'll stop by at your room.

- Peeta

I blinked. Once, twice, thrice. Is our talk not over yet? I'm not sure if I want to continue having a conversation with him. But I wouldn't necessarily call it a conversation, he does all the talking anyway. I seem to be dumbstruck every time we have an encounter. Accidental or not. What am I going to do? I'm not sure I'm ready to hear whatever he has to say. I'm starting to feel dizzy again.

"Katniss, are you okay?" I raised my head and see Cato in front of me. I instantly exit my phone to home screen.

"I, uh, I think I want to lay down."

"Oh okay. I'll call Delly. We'll go back." Cato ran towards the beach and call Delly who seems to be enjoying herself. Maybe, I have to tell her. But her wedding is getting near. Its 6 days from now. I don't want to mess it up. I don't want my best friend to hate me for not telling her earlier. Sure, what happened with me and Peeta is in the past now, but it doesn't change the fact that I didn't tell her on purpose. What am I going to do? My thoughts were interrupted when I felt an arm in my shoulder and see Cato smiling at me.

"You seem to be always lost in your thoughts. Do I get a chance to hear it?" I just looked and smiled at him and gently shake my head. "Not today." Delly closing on us grabbed my hand and we walked towards Cato's car. We settled inside with Delly insisting I sit beside Cato. I just agreed. I just want to lay down. The quickly we get to the house, the better.

The car was silent. We pulled in the driveway and I immediately get out of the car. Once I was inside, I immediately make my way to my room and locked the door. I let my weight drag me to fall to the bed and close my eyes. I dozed off.

A knock on the door made me jump and be wide awake. The knock repeated and I get off the bed to open the door and see a serious Peeta standing in front of me.

"Peeta! What do you want?" I asked him in hushed tone. I realized that I slept through lunch and dinner. I glanced at the wall clock and it's already 9pm. I tried to blink continuously to make if I'm really awake.

"I told you that we'll continue our talk didn't I?" he made his way inside and sat on the bed. I looked at the hallway to make sure that no one saw him come in here. Peeta must have realized what I'm doing, "Don't worry, they're already asleep. You don't think I'm stupid enough to go here when I'll know someone would see me, do you?"

I closed the door and turn on the lights, "No, I think it's best if we leave them off. We can see each other anyway." Said Peeta. I turned off the lights and moved to sit to the chair near the window. "So, what do you want to talk about? And can we make this quick. I don't want to risk being seen with you in a same room."

"Hasty as always." He smirked. "You still haven't changed." He further made himself comfortable at the bed by crossing his legs.

"I don't see why I should." I keep my statements short and lacking emotions to give him the hint that I don't want to bring this conversation more further. "Would you just get to the point and say whatever it is that you want." I keep my tone firm and confident like the tone I always use when I'm handling a case. I can't afford to lose to Peeta, I can't let him to further play with my emotions.

Peeta inhale and exhaled deeply, "Okay, I want to talk about us. I want to know what really happened Katniss." Peeta, straight face and serious made his deep blue ones gaze directly at my grey ones. "I want you to do a fair share. And the last time we saw each other, you are miles away from being one."

I keep his gaze in mine and returned his smirk earlier, "Seriously?! You're about to marry my best friend and you want to talk about us? Are you hearing yourself Peeta?"

"Why don't you want to talk about it? I deserve to know the truth Katniss. Last time I checked, you denied me from knowing that 4 years ago." I can now see in Peeta's eyes that he beginning to feel frustration. His face soften a bit but still kept his eyes locked on mine.

"What makes you think I was lying back then?" I stand up from my seat and faced the view behind me. I can't afford to look at Peeta while I'm about to say my respond. He would tell the difference. He would tell I'm lying. "What I told you 4 years ago is true. There's nothing more to that. I've fallen out of love. You should actually be happy because I actually did you a favor." I turned to again to face him, "Why can't you just let it go? You're happy now, right?"

"I'm not", Peeta's face is down. "I know I'm supposed to be. But I'm not. And it got harder to accept when I saw you the other day. I didn't expect that. I tried to erase every wave of emotion I felt. I wanted to hug you and kiss you and love you." He raised his head and again, stare directly at my eyes locking our gaze.

"Can you tell me again what you said to me 4 years ago? But this time no turning your back on me. No turning your head down. Just look me in the eye and tell me. And if it's true, I'll finally let go like you wanted." He slowly make his way towards me, eyes still locked on mine.

He grabbed my face with both hands and I instantly feel hot. I feel my cheeks become hot. He still has that effect on me. "Be fair Katniss, Please."

I can't control my breathing. I'm finding a way to avert this moment but it seems like I can't move. What am I supposed to do? I can't do this. Peeta cannot do this now. I feel like tears are just seconds away before forming in my eyes.

"Say it, say it Katniss. From where you said my name."

I inhaled deeply, "Peeta…" No. I can't. He'll know.

"I'm sorry but I have to do this…" I have to focus. I have to…

"We have to break up…" I have to…

"I don't love you anymore…" Breathe…

"That's why I'm letting you go…" Breathe…

"You'll suffer if we continue this joke of a relationship…" I can now feel tears forming at the side of my eyes, I inhaled deeply again…

"Good bye Peeta…" Breathe…

"I hope you would eventually find someone who is truly right for you." And with that final sentence, tears began to spring from my eyes…

And Peeta…

Is kissing me.