Chapter 5: Abstaining the truth

Peeta's lips, sweet and soft lingering to mine. I can't imagine how much I've missed this moment. Our lips touching again. It's one of the times where I get to feel a blissful wave of emotion rushing through my veins. His lips caressing mine gently with both his hands still cupping my face. I feel his thumb wiping my tears and before I even realize it, I'm kissing him back.

I slowly put my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me making are lips crushed with each other. I'm now feeling a sudden rush of heat all over my body as Peeta lowered his hands and lock his strong arms around my waist. Peeta's kiss turned from gentle to eager. Making his tongue brush my lower lip and I let out a moan. I produced an opening as he enter his tongue inside my mouth. He bit my lower lip and start guiding me as we make our way to the bed. I felt the back of my knees bumped to the edge of it and sudden realization gave me the force to push him away and stop what will eventually cause us to feel guilty.

"We can't", Peeta, stunned as I shove him away. "We can't do this Peeta. Ever". I look at him and see his eyes questioning me. "This isn't fair for Delly". I bowed my head. I want to escape his bitter stare. I do feel guilty about letting him carry on and not stopping him immediately but if I let it go any further, things would really turn into turmoil.

"So you want to be fair to Delly but not to me?" His tone doesn't have a hint of anger but definitely not forgiving either. It's just plain cold and sad but firm and hard. I gape at him and see that both his hands and jaw are clenched but his eyes are shut.

"That's not what I meant."

Peeta opened his eyes and stare at me. "Then why is it so hard for you to tell me the truth Katniss? Why do you keep denying me my right to know?" he rest his head on his hands and I hear a soft sob.

I strained myself from having the urge to reach and hold him. "I didn't deny you anything Peeta."

"You keep on hinting that but we both know that it's completely the other way". He sit himself beside me on the bed and hold my hand. "I want to know what you want for me to do." He hold up my chin so that we look at each other's eyes. "I want to know what it is that you're hiding from me Katniss." His eyes is filled with sadness and despair. "I'll do whatever you ask, in return for my single request."

I eyed him questioningly refusing to respond to his proposition. He sighed, "Tell me the truth and be fair with me. Please."

I break our gaze and focus on our enlaced hands. "If I did. Would you still continue on marrying Delly?"

"Depends."

I sighed and return my gaze to his eyes, "Okay. But you said that you'll do whatever I ask you." I keep my face straight and firm, "I'll tell you but I have two conditions." I can see that Peeta is nervous about what I have to say. But this is the only way I know. If I have to do things right, I have to do it now. This is the fairest way I can think of.

Peeta studying me intently and exhaled, "Okay. What are your conditions?"

"First, you have to promise me of pursuing the wedding." Again I lowered my gaze as I tell him my next condition, "Second, I'll tell you the truth but…"

"But?"

I look at him again and gentle squeeze his hand, "It will be after the wedding."

"What?!" Peeta's tone aggravating clearly not happy about my second condition, "I asked you to be fair Katniss!"

"And I am. I'm being fair to you as much as I'm being fair to Delly!" I can also hear my tone slightly going high for being irritated by Peeta's contradiction.

"No you're not! You're making an easy way out!" Peeta let go of my hand and stood up and pace back and forth in front of me, "God Katniss! Why are you so selfish?!"

I also get off the bed and make my way to the door, "I'm sorry Peeta if you don't like my conditions, but that's what I have to offer. It's up to you if you want to take it or leave it! Now, can we please stop this and rest. I'm tired and not really in the mood to start another argument."

I open the door and Peeta make his way out but made a final stop in front of me, "You know Katniss, you're always scared to take another step forward. You always play a safe game. But we both know that you screwed this time. Good night." I quickly closed the door and head for the bed where tears begin to fall again. Peeta pointing that out frustrates me, but what's more unbearable is the fact that it's true.

I woke up the next day and felt my eyes are sore. Probably from crying. I remembered not being able to hold my emotion when Peeta made me tell him what I told him 4 years ago when I broke up with him. I still remember his lips kissed mine as my eyes betrayed me as I locked my gaze in his own.

My head is pounding and my sight is a blur. I get off the bed and head for the door. I make my way to the dining area as I felt my stomach growl because of hunger. As I come close, I see Delly, Peeta and Cato sitting in the dining area already. Cato see me come in and stand up.

"Good morning Katniss, sleep well?" I make my way beside him as he pulled a chair for me.

"Maybe. Although my head is killing me." I reached to touch my head and raised my head. Delly and Cato eyeing me intently. I see Peeta still not averting his attention to his food.

"Kat, you don't look so good? What happened?" Delly's already beside me and give me a worried look. I make an effort to smile at both of them and think of an excuse. Cato moved more closely to me and grabbed my hand.

"Come 'on, let's sit. You must be famished." I gently sit down beside Cato. Delly return to her sit beside Peeta. I sat down and tried sneaking a glance to Peeta's way. Unfortunately he caught me and held his gaze for a moment before looking down and cleared his throat.

"Um, I think I'm full." Peeta stand and Delly followed. "I'll go to my room. I have to be at work by 10." He kissed Delly in her cheeks and looked my direction. It must have been quick because Delly seems to not catch it.

I look down at my hands and Cato rested his to mine. I looked up to see his focused eyes on me filled with worry and give me a sad smile. It seems that something is bothering him as well and I'm itching to know why.

"I'll get you some medicine for your headache." Cato said smiling at me. I return his smile as I watched him stand up from his seat and make his way out of the room.

I looked at Delly who's in front of me. "Are you sure you're okay Kat? It seems like there's something you're not telling me."

I shake my head and make an effort to laugh. But it came out as awkward. "I'm really okay Del. I'm just thinking about work. I left a case and requested a 2 weeks recess." I pinch the center of my nose and cleared my throat. "I just feel stressed and worried I guess."

She sigh in relief, "Good." She smiled. "I actually want to ask you to come with me for a full body massage."

"That sounds lovely. It might be just what I needed."

"Great, we'll leave after breakfast." She reach and give my hand a slight squeeze. I think this is just what I needed. An alone time with Delly. It's been so long and we never got the chance to fully catch up because I'm completely a mess about Peeta.

Cato returned to the dining room and sit back down beside me. We finished eating and I make my way back to my room to take a shower. It's been four days since I got here. Delly and Peeta's wedding is slowly approaching. Just 5 days more and I'm out of here.

I entered my bedroom and see petals of roses in my bed. Who could've possibly do this? My question is answered when I felt someone behind my back.

"Do you like it?" I turn to a grinning Cato and see a sparkle in his adorable blue eyes. Although his eyes are not as perfect as Peeta's. I shake my head to the thought silently chastising myself for even thinking about Peeta's eyes. I can still feel his gaze whenever I close my eyes.

"You don't like it?" I opened my eyes quickly. I didn't realize that my head shaking caught Cato's attention. His grin quickly fade and looked saddened.

"What? No! No!" I raise my hand and touch his muscular chest, "I, uh, I like it. Why would you even do this?" Cato grab both my hands and stare directly at my eyes. I feel his stare get more intense and he looks sexy doing it.

He grinned again and looked like a child. I can't help but smile. "So, what's the occasion?" I asked him as I walked inside the room and sit on the bed admiring the rose petals. It quite pleasing and calming that my thoughts about what happened last night slowly leave its way from my mind.

"Nothing. I just thought I'd do something special for you. I feel like the past 3 days got you down or something." He stand in front of me and I can instantly feel his shyness spreading inside the room.

"I'm just stressed. I left an unfinished work back home. It's very unsettling."

"Huh", Cato grinning at me. "Would you like me to relieve you from that stress?" He slowly walk his way towards me and I felt my cheeks burn.

I cleared my throat, "What do you have in mind?" I swear I heard myself let out a slight giggle when he sat beside me and put his arms at my waist.

He turned me to him and he's smirking at me, "Why don't you figure it out yourself?" he slowly lean close to me when I remembered Delly and me is going to have a spa day.

I put both hands on his chest and push him slightly, "I would but I already have plans." Cato slightly disappointed sighed but didn't take his arm off me. "Delly invited me for a spa day", I continued.

He chuckled, "Spa day with bestie? That works too I guess." He scratches his hair, "Although, I could tell you, stress relieving is my specialty." he whispered in my ear and I shiver.

I raised an eyebrow to him, "Is that so?"

He nodded repeatedly. I lean close to him with my lips making a slight contact with his ear.

"I'll go have a look at myself and be the judge to that." I back up and smile at him. Cato is flushed and wide eyed. I smirked at him and get off the bed making my way to open the door. "But unfortunately, today's not good. But if you want I'll let you pick the time for your stress relieving therapy."

Cato taking the hint get off the bed and make his way to me at the door. He smiled and hold up my chin. "You're getting better at this Everdeen."

I give him a toothy grin and pat his shoulder, "Well, I try."

He again, lean into me and slightly brushed his lips to mine. He turned and make his way down the stairs. I feel a smile creeping in my face as I look at his direction letting out a chuckle. I was about to close the door when I see a figure at the side. I turn and see Peeta leaning at his bedroom door.