Chapter 6: The truth… and Innocent betrayal?
"Peeta", he doesn't move and stayed leaning against the door with his eyes close. "Um, I, uh" I start to fidget and feel nervous for some reason. He's still not opening his eyes and doesn't let his face show any emotion which is shivering. It's always been this way. There's times when I can read him but mostly he doesn't give anything away. I see him let out a deep breath and back away from the door and walk towards down the stair completely bypassing me.
"Save it, Katniss. It's not like I care anyway." I shiver from his tone and can't seem to move my body. He continue his way down without sparing a glance in my way. I feel a stinging emotion and my chest getting tighter. I get inside the room and proceed to the bathroom to take a shower. I quickly strip away from my clothes and stepped in the shower.
Once I'm done I search for my luggage and pull out a sundress and heard a knock. "Just a second." I quickly put the sundress and opened the door.
"You ready Kat?" Delly smiling at me and walk her way inside the room.
"Uh, yeah. Let me just dry my hair." I return to the bathroom and grabbed the hair dryer in the bathroom sink.
Delly sat on the bed and watch me as I work on my hair. "Um, Kat. I know I'm 3 days delayed on owing you an explanation." She bow her head focusing on her clasp hands. "Actually, make that a year." She let out an awkward small laugh and return her gaze to me.
I stopped and look at her as I realize my hands gripping the handle of the dryer hard. "I'm not entirely sure what your purpose on hiding it from me Del but I do want to hear it."
She exhaled, "Um, yeah. That's why I'm thinking of postponing going to the spa and just grab a jamba juice so that we can talk."
"You haven't started and you're already bribing me?" I chuckled and see her face showed a sign of relief. Jamba juice has always been my favorite drink and Delly knows it very well.
She smiled and make her way towards me and give me a hug. "I'll wait for you in the car." She get out and I continued working my hair dry.
2 years ago…
"Hi, is this seat taken?" Katniss looked up and saw a beautiful girl standing behind her and beaming her pearly whites. She have golden locks in a braid.
"No. it's free." Katniss pulled the chair for the girl and she settled in.
"I'm Delly by the way. Delly Cartwright." The girl held out her hand and Katniss reached for it and shook it. "Katniss Everdeen."
"Are you an Economy major too?" the girl asked her still smiling.
"Um, No. I'm actually a Law major." Katniss returned her smile.
"No way! You're studying law?" Katniss saw Delly is quite shocked by it and eyed her questioningly, "Why is that shocking?"
"Oh no! I didn't mean it to come out as offensive. It's just that, you don't look like one." Katniss raised an eyebrow already starting to hate the girl beside her. "I mean don't get me wrong, it's really impressive. I heard that only an estimated 10 percent the school's population are law majors and by the end of the school year, it decreases to 5 percent until they graduate."
"Interesting." Katniss never thought of that. She knows that being a law major is hard that mostly students shift courses by the end of a semester. But this is her third year as a law major so it doesn't really concern her. For her, acquiring a law degree has been her lifelong dream.
"How long have you been a law major? I'm already a senior so I'll be graduating next year." Delly beamed at her again.
"Three years."
"That's cool. That means you're already safe. You're actually beautiful that's why I got shocked when you said you're a law student. I hope I didn't offend you or anything."
Katniss sighed and smile, "No, it's cool."
From that moment on, they ate lunch together and already had a usual spot. They hang out together all the time and became instantly close. Delly is the first real friend she had inside the university. A few months before Delly graduates, she invites Delly to her home for the first time. They always hang at Delly's.
They're in her bedroom when Delly noticed a picture in her desk. "Who's this? Your boyfriend?"
It was a picture of her and Peeta kissing her cheeks. It was taken at their graduation day. "Ex. We broke up 2 years ago."
"Oh my God. Why?" Delly sat beside her in her bed and reached to touch her hand, "But if you don't want to talk about it. It's fine."
"It's not that. It's just that no one actually asked me about my love life apart from my family. So I haven't talked about him with anyone since." Katniss smiled at her sadly as she remembers Peeta. She started telling Delly details about their relationship. How they met, how long they've been together and the real reason she broke up with him.
Peeta's been e-mailing her non-stop since the first day she left him. She keeps them all but didn't intend to read it. She's coping on forgetting about him but as the years passed she just realized that breaking up with him is the biggest mistake she had ever done in her life. She knows that if she asked Peeta to wait for her, he'll do it no questions asked. But instead, she chose an easy way out. But it's not easy either. It's been hard for her. The past two years have been crucial on her. She finished by telling Delly how much she love him and attempting to ask for his forgiveness when she graduates. Still to this day, Peeta still e-mails her so that she knows that Peeta is still in love with her.
Katniss keeps her face strong and hard and silently chastised herself for having the urge to cry. Since the night she broke up with Peeta, she haven't shed even a single tear but continued feeling regret and downheartedness. Delly moved closer to her and hugged her.
"Whatever it is that keeps your chest from feeling relief, you can always talk to me Kat." Katniss looked at her friend and smiled.
"Thanks Del. It really means a lot. I kind of feel relieved since I'm able to talk to you about Peeta."
Her friend returned her smile, "Anytime Kat. Anyway, why did you broke up with him?"
Katniss thought that if there's anyone she can trust on her secret it would be Delly. The fact that Delly and Peeta would meet is not highly possible. Or so she thought…
"I got scared."
"That's it?" Delly furrowing her eyebrows at her. She knows that her reason is so absurd but she isn't have any choice that time. She wants to be fair to Peeta.
"Yeah. Peeta's already in the point of our relationship where I wasn't. And I'm not actually sure myself if I'll be able to get there. It got so serious too fast that I felt him suffocating me." She exhaled hard and put her arms around her. "I figured that I have to be fair to him. And the only way I can think of is to lie. I can't afford for him to hold on, it'll be hard on him."
Katniss knows that Peeta would just insist on waiting for her. But she can't ask Peeta to do that without being certain herself if she wants that with him or if she would eventually be ready for him. She knows that she may live a century and still not deserve him.
Present Day (2013)…
I gently closed the main door and hopped on Delly's car. It the first time that Delly's presence is cauing me to feel discomfort. We both shared the silence avoiding to open any conversation. For some reason, I start to feel irritation and annoyed. It's half an hour drive from the house to a jamba juice store. She parked and we both make our way inside. We ordered and settle for a spot in the corner. It didn't take long for our orders to be served.
"So, um," Delly starts, "I owe you big time Kat."
I look at her and her head is down avoiding making eye contact, "I'm listening."
"I, uh, first. I'm sorry. I hid it from you. Although to be honest I did it on purpose." She's still not making an attempt to look at me and keeps her focus on her drink.
"I kind of figured that out since the first time I saw him." My tone firm and irritated.
"Sorry. I wasn't ready to face you alone. That's why I keep averting your attempts for us to be alone. I just realized last night that I'm being unfair. Not only to you but to Peeta as well."
I shifted my stare from her to look outside the window. I feel my irritation getting stronger and unbearable. "Then why did you do it?"
"I got scared. I figured that if I told you, I'd lose him. But I didn't consider the fact that I might lose you as well."
My hands are now clenched. "Well, it took you long enough to realize that."
She raise her head and grabbed my clenched fists. "Just hear me out first. Please." I exhaled harshly and nod.
I see her inhale deeply and let go of my hand to clasp hers together. "After I graduated and decided to go back here and accept my mother's friend offer to work for him as his secretary. It's been going so well until one morning I saw Peeta inside my boss's office. I was surprised. I wanted to call and tell you but I hesitated. I thought that if I'll tell you, you would lose focus on your studies and that's the last thing I want to do, to make you anxious and bothered."
I stay silent and listen to every word she tells me. "But after that, the thought of letting you know never crossed me again. He approached me in my cubicle and asked me about something and I'm instantly a goner." She let out a small laugh and tugged her braids. "Apparently he's doing business in the company I'm working and I've been assigned to assist him. I began to feel comfortable around him. And he did too. He started being friendly with me and always asked me out. Until one time while we're out he began telling me stories about you. But he maintained your identity hidden that's why I thought that not telling him that I know you would be my best option."
I continue to stare at her as she begin to shake, "I felt insecure all those times. When we're together he would just go on and on about you. I got scared that if I told him I knew you he would just make me contact you and help him get you back. But I can't do that. I've fallen for him." She raise her head and gaze at me with tears already falling from her eyes, "I've rejected the idea of him still in love with you and keep on motivating myself that I can help him forget you." I just continue giving her cold stare. I'm not quite sure what to feel myself. All that I know is that I trusted a wrong person.
"I tried Kat. I did. Eventually we started a relationship and now we're getting married in 5 days. I thought that when he asked me to marry him he's completely over you. That's why I decided to invite you and have you become my maid of honor. Aside from the fact that you're still the best friend I've ever had, I wanted to test if Peeta still have feelings for you." She reach for a napkin and wipe her tears. "And now, I regret making that decision." She reach across the table and try to grab my hand but I avoided it. "I'm sorry Kat. I want us to remain best friends. I don't want to lose you."
"You already did Del. You made the decision of ending our friendship the moment you saw Peeta." I'm already feeling furious as I try to process Delly's explanation but one thing is sure. "It's quite amusing how I find that I'm more mad at myself than you. Not only did I let you invade me and made me think highly of our friendship that I can't help but feel stupid of doing so." I finding it entirely hard to hold my emotions. I feel betrayed and mortified. "The fact that I gave you my trust and be comfortable with it is the biggest mistake I can afford. And it angers me so much."
"Kat, please don't do this. You're important to me."
I get up the seat and ready myself to leave. "I'm sorry Delly, but I think you have to find yourself another maid of honor. I refuse to take any further role in your life."
With that, I made my way out and hail a cab.