thanks for reviewing *cough cough, very sarcastic*. You are not worthy of readin this unless you reviewed. However I will allow it

ch 17: pov tris:

I sit in my holding cell feeling nothing. Nothing crosses my mind, nothing can reach me. I hear words but don't know what they say. I don't follow orders; my body does.

My mind is captured in a state where I don't know why I'm here. Nothing in the world could fill the emptiness that is everything inside me.

I hear the barley audible tap of shoes on the floor, adding to the void that is my mind. Nothing could ever fill it up; not the noise of a million people walking or screaming or breathing or nothing.

The only thing that could fill the void is dead. For the first time I allow these thoughts to enter my mind. Tobias is gone. He is dead. I loved him, he came to rescue me. He died.

I don't remember falling but I'm on the ground, my hands ground into my hair. A noise is coming out of my mouth that I didn't know a human could produce. It's somewhere between a groan and a wail and a scream and a whimper and a sob.

The guards rush up around me, pulling me up. My legs won't work, so they drag me along. I barley have the energy to continue being conscious. I haven't eaten any of the meals they've given me in the last several days.

I'm thrown into the chair I know well as the simulation chair. Jeanine comes towards me carrying a syringe full of thick orange liquid She doesn't say anything before she shoves the needle into my neck.

I walk calmly and quietly, how I'm supposed to, down the stairs into the kitchen to help my mother with breakfast. I already know somethings off. I just can't place my finger on it.

I feel drowsy, and just wrong. Like I have nothing inside me. I just want to lie down and never get up. I want to sit in bed a cry all day. However even thinking these thoughts are selfish- of course I could never do those things. So instead I place toast in the toaster and go get the eggs from the refrigerator.

I've never liked this life- it's so simple, too routine. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing exiting. However I know a life full of risks, everything out of the ordinary. I've lived that life. I'm no longer Beatrice, but I've been replaced by Tris. Who, at the moment is relieving her life before she made the best-and the worst- decision of her life. I'm actually sitting in the simulation chair, but I must not let on that I know I'm in a simulation. If I pretend that I believe this is real than Jeanine will believe she has finally made a simulation that works on Divergent.

Maybe she will finally take me out of this hell.

For what seems like hours I go on doing exactly what I would have done all those weeks ago.

It hurts me to see my family, but I'm glad that I'll see them before I go. I continue my life up until the choosing ceremony. I plan on choosing Dauntless again. I don't know how long I'll be stuck in this simulation and I want to see the place I love again.

I stand with the other 16 year olds. Soon I hear my name called and I walk up doing my best to not take my knife and stab Marcus right there. Instead I slice my hand like I've done before and let a drop of blood spill in the flames. As soon as my blood reaches the heat, I open my eyes and sit up in the simulation chair.

I see Jeanine grinning from ear to ear. "I've finally done it!" She screeches victoriously. You keep thinking that, bitch.

I zone out of the world again as I'm lead into my holding cell.

Jeanine comes into to my cell sometime later. She rarely comes in herself so I'm shocked by this.

"Beatrice. As you know, you could not get out of my newest simulation." She has no idea how lucky she is that I have self control and no will to live. "So, I'll get to the point. Your use has expired. In several hours you will be put to sleep." She looks at me, waiting for a reaction. I refuse to give one.

She turns on her heel and leaves.

I think about what she said. 'Put to sleep,' as if I'm an old dog.

As well as that, even though I was completely ready to die hours ago, I feel something in me telling me to refuse, to fight, to live. The only thing I want to live for is gone. Dead. So I will not fight. I will die. I will escape.

After some time passes the door open, revealing Eric. I haven't seen him since Tobias came.

He opens the door wider, meaning I should come out. I walk out, following behind Eric with other guards surrounding me on all sides.

After a while of walking we enter a room with a simple stainless steel table and a heart monitor. Many people surround the sides of the room, watching me. It only makes me hold my head that much higher.

Without question I slide up onto the table and lay still. I hear Jeanine walk in. As she approaches me I see in her hand she holds a syringe full of purple liquid. She walks up to me and boots up the heart monitor, and attaches a wire into my vein.

I feel an ache deep in my chest, telling me to fight, to live, that I do actually have something to live for. But I ignore this, and remain still.

Slowly, Jeanine inserts the needle into my neck. My blood seems to become heavy, and my vision slowly leaves me.

OMG! did I just kill Tris? Review and find out what happnes next! I wont update until I get 5 reviews, I don't think that's too much to ask