Hey guys! I got really bored and thought I'd give you an early update because I'm so nice! ;) I hope you all like this chapter; it was quite hard to write.

I'm so mad! I can't watch the Diva episode. I actually feel like crying, but I'm not sure after seeing all the tweets and gifs on twitter that I want to?

Well here you go, enjoy!

Please review! :) x

Chapter 6

Where was she? Santana knew she should open her eyes but she was too afraid of what she might see. Her mouth was all dry and her throat felt scratchy and sore.

She could hear a faint beeping in the distance but it was muffled like she was under water or something. Oh god? Was she under water? She shook her head, of course she wasn't! She was still breathing and she wasn't wet.

"Wanky…" she mumbled with a weak but sly grin.

She still didn't want to open her eyes however, and decided to use her other senses to figure out where she was. She breathed in deeply through her nose, the strong smell of bleach and anaesthetic climbed its way up her nostrils and burned in between her eyes. A slow thumping began to form in her skull.

She wanted to move her hands to reach out and feel around but her chest ached and she flinched at the pain "Ow…" she muttered out no louder than a whisper. Turns out, that's all it takes for Quinn's eagle like ears to hear.

"San?" Quinn's voice was frantic as she reached out and grabbed the Latina's freezing cold hand. "Santana, are you awake?"

Suddenly, everything came rushing back to her. The fight with Brittany's teacher and then going back to the bar with Quinn, Brittany walking in on them, then they argued and then…

Santana reluctantly opened her eyes but winced and clamped them shut as light beamed in through her eye lids. "Lights…"

Quinn jumped up and ran to the light switch on the wall, she flicked it off and the room was engulfed into a comfortable darkness, the only light seeped into the room from the hallway outside. Quinn made a bee line towards Brittany and nudged her shoulder gently, "Britt... B? Guess who's awake." Brittany's eyes popped open and startled the other two girls in the room.

"San!" she yelled and threw herself into Santana's arms. She nuzzled her face into her neck and inhaled, but this time she couldn't smell the strawberries. She pulled away with a small frown on her face, "You scared me so much, Santana." Silent tears fell from Brittany's eyes. Santana wanted so bad to just reach up and wipe them away but she didn't have the energy to move.

"I'm sorry Britt-Britt. I didn't mean to…" She reached both of her hands out and the blonde's took one each. "Can I have some water… my throat is killing like a bitch." She croaked out. Quinn lent over with a glass of water and a straw, she watched the Latina down the entire glass in less than four gulps. She giggled as Santana cocked her head back and sighed in satisfaction.

"What happened?" she realising she had no idea what happened after her argument with Brittany and why she was at the hospital.

"You don't remember what happened?" Quinn asked with a worried look. Santana shook her head softly. "Maybe we she get the doctor to come back?" she picked up the button next to Santana's arm and tapped at it repeatedly until the door swung open to reveal the doctor looking slightly more exhausted than he had an hour ago, he had dark bags under his eyes, his hair was ruffled and his lab coat hung limply off his left shoulder. Santana would have laughed at him if she wasn't so scared.

"Ah… Miss Lopez, we're awake are we?" He gave her a cheerful smile that made her relax into the bed. "My name is Doctor Richardson, how are you feeling?" he extended a hand out for Santana to shake and she took it without hesitation. Her father had always taught her to treat doctors - or any medical staff for that matter – with respect, seen as though he himself was a chief of medicine.

"A little sore and my chest is feeling really tight, but I can't remember anything that happened." She explained with a cocked eyebrow. "So, doc. would you care to explain what the hell is going on here?"

Brittany and Quinn smiled at how quickly Santana had turned back to bitch mode. Doctor Richardson smiled down at Santana before taking a glance at her clip board. "Santana," he started slowly, his eyes locked with the brunettes and he refused to let them go. "You collapsed at your work place and you were rushed to hospital. After we were informed about your symptoms," he risked a glance at the two blondes who were still holding onto Santana's hands for dear life. "We took you to have an x-ray and found a tumour growing into the right side of your heart. We weren't able to tell how big it was until we opened you up but we could tell it was quite large."

He paused to let the information sink in all Santana could see in his eyes was remorse. Santana's features were contorted but her whole body was stiff, she knew where this was going…

"We were able to remove the entire tumour but that's left you with a rather large hole in the side of your heart that we couldn't repair without damaging even more. It has also left you with an irregular heartbeat as you can see on the screen," everyone in the room turned to face the beeping machine but the three girls stared at it blankly not know what the hell to be looking at. "But we don't know why that is."

Brittany let out a soft whimper, "Heart attacks are from loving too much…" she quickly swiped away a falling tear before anyone could see she was crying.

"I'm afraid this wasn't a heart attack. Tumours in the heart and heart attacks are completely different, in some ways a heart tumour can be worse. In this case, it is." The doctor stated softly to Brittany who looked slightly clueless.

"Then that means Santana loves more than normal people do." Brittany stated innocently.

"You could say that…" Santana whispered trying to hold back the tears and sobs she was keeping locked up behind her walls as she stared deep into the ocean blue eyes of the blonde.

Quinn bit down on her lips as she watched the interaction between her two best friends. Her heart slowly began to break knowing that Brittany would be left heart broken if Santana wouldn't make it through this. She didn't want to believe it, but she knew she was right. She was going to lose her best friend.

"Beacuse the hole that has been left from the tumour is quite large," He repeted and sat down on the end of the bed to make eye contact with the Latina again. "I'm sorry I have to tell you this but without a new heart, you will only have around a year left to live. We have put you on the transplant list but you could be waiting for some time. We will do the best we can to keep you healthy so we will supply you with medication to help with your condition."

Everything in the room went silent. At least that's what it felt like to Santana.

She could still see the doctor's lips moving but no sound came with them. Her whole body was numb and she couldn't feel Brittany's and Quinn's hands holding her own even though she could see them. She sat as still as a statue. She felt frozen in her spot.

But on the inside she was screaming, screaming so loud that she could probably be heard over oceans… she wanted to jump out of her bed and smash the room to microscopic pieces.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to take in the information the doctor had just given her. This wasn't happening. She was obviously dreaming and would wake up in her bedroom back in Lima.

She clenched her eyes shut tightly, not wanting to be here in this room, in this hospital, hooked up to god knows how many wires and tubes. She pulled her hands away from the blonde's and balled them up in her lap, her fists turned white from clamping them so hard.

"This isn't happening…" she murmured to herself. She looked up with tear filled eyes at the doctor. "I'm healthy! I go to the gym all the time I don't eat crappy food! I barely drink alcohol!" her breathe was ragged and laced with pain and terror.

"Your tests show that you are indeed a very healthy woman for your age, but sometimes it's the cells in the human body that find a way to mutate, we still don't know what causes this to happen. Again, I am so sorry Miss Lopez. If you need me…" he pointed towards the button, stood up and left the room.

Santana lay motionless on her bed and looked up at the small dots that decorated the ceiling. She didn't want to cry in front of her best friends, she held the tears back and clamped her mouth tightly shut to hold back the sob.

Brittany didn't understand what was going on, she looked between Santana and Quinn only to see two completely different expressions.

Quinn, she looked horrified by the whole idea of what was going on, tears were pouring from her eyes and her bottom lip was quivering.

Santana, however just looked… well she looked blank, like she was an empty shell. She looked like all the life had been sucked out of her. All the fire within her sole had been put out and there wasn't even a spark left to reignite her.

Brittany tugged softly on Quinn's shirt trying to get her attention. When Quinn finally turned to meet Brittany's helpless gaze she sighed and pulled the Blonde out of the room and into the empty corridor.

"I don't understand…" Brittany grabbed Quinn's hands frantically begging her to answer her question, "What's wrong with S? She's going to be ok right?" when Quinn didn't answer Brittany almost screamed her name, "QUINN! Answer me!"

Quinn began to back away slowly, startled by Brittany's outburst. Her back hit the wall forcing her to stop where she was. "She needs a new heart Brittany… she could die without one…" Quinn said softly.

Brittany's eyes went wide and Quinn swore if they went wider, her eyes would probably fall out and roll across the floor. "What's wrong with her heart, I don't understand why she would need a new one. It seems to work pretty well because she loves all of her family and you and me so much." Brittany whimpered as she tried to hold back the sobs.

Quinn thought for a moment, trying to think of a simple way to tell the blonde so that she would understand. "It's like you said in there earlier, Santana loves us all so much that her heart has broken from how much love she has in there." Quinn pulled the taller blonde in for a hug. Brittany couldn't hold back the tears any longer and they gushed out with no intention of stopping.

"Is she going to die Q?"

"I don't know Britt. I don't know." She answered truthfully. Quinn's phone rang loudly in her pocket and she pulled it out to see Rachel calling her again, she said her goodbyes to Brittany and told her to say bye to Santana as well. "Hey baby…" her voice trailed off as she rounded a corner and disappeared.

Santana could hear the two blondes outside and it killed her to be causing them so much pain. Especially Brittany who barely understood what was happening. She wanted to wrap the three of them up into a big bubble so nothing could touch them or break them apart, but she knew this day would be the day that would ruin her life. A fresh surge of tears began to fall at the thought of leaving Brittany alone. No one could be there for her like she could. No one.

Brittany entered the room, this time she was alone and before Santana could ask where Quinn was Brittany beat her to it. "She said she needed to go home but I could call her if we needed anything. She said I should stay with you." Santana nodded, she was still in shock to even care that Quinn had gone, instead she turned her head to face out the window at the starry night sky and let the never ending tears fall to her pillow that soaked around where her skin met fabric. She silently sobbed, secretly hoping that the blonde would hug her because right now, that was all she needed.

She wanted Brittany's arms wrapped tightly around her because that would be the only way she would feel safe.

Brittany didn't know if she should say something. She knew whenever she was upset and someone would ask if she was okay she would start crying all over again. So she decided against it.

She shuffled over to Santana's bed and sat down next to the Latina on the course matrass. Santana didn't move; she kept staring out of the window with an empty look, her eyes glazed over.

Brittany was careful not to lean on, pull or tug any of Santana's wires as she pulled her legs up onto the bed. She shifted closer to the Latina's body and carefully turned her to face her. Thankfully Santana didn't protest and just stared up into Brittany's eyes, her bottom lip began to quiver but before she could let out a sob, Brittany pulled her face to her chest and hugged her gently.

The blonde pulled Santana even more carefully to lie in between her legs so that the brunette's back was resting against Brittany's front. She wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and pulled her closer so that her face was nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She began to softly hum 'Friends' again hoping that it would make Santana feel better but when her body started to shake with sobs Brittany abruptly stopped.

"No don't stop… please." Santana whimpered and clutched the fabric of Brittany's top. Without thinking about what she was doing, Brittany placed a soft kiss into the crook of Santana's neck.

Santana's grip tightened on Brittany's clothes at the contact. She gasped at the sensation that began to pump its way through her blood. She knew as soon as the blondes lips met her skin it was a bad idea, "but hey ho you only live once right?" She thought harshly to herself.

She moaned softly and tilted her neck to the side so Brittany had more room to move. Goose bumps raised across her skin as the blonde's lips touched her skin softer this time but had the same effect, she knew she wanted more. She slammed her eyes tightly shut causing stars to erupt in front of her. Her lips marted as a breathy moan climbed it's way up her throat.

Brittany looked down doe eyed at Santana. She knew what she was doing was wrong, she had no idea what it meant but she knew that it felt so right and she didn't want to stop.

She placed her lips against Santana's neck again, this time her lips were slightly parted and a warm breath grazed over Santana's skin. She pressed herself further against the blonde's stomach and a soft moan parted her lips. "Friends do this sort of stuff right?" The thought flickered through her mind but disappeared just as quick.

She gripped roughly at the fabric in her hands as sobs began to shudder through her body. She was so happy but yet so sad. She didn't want to let go of the blonde physically and mentally. She couldn't imagine not being with her and in that single moment, Brittany was the only thing Santana wanted.

Santana ignored all the screaming voices in her head that told her to push the blonde away and tell her to stop. She could feel the heat pooling in the bottom of her stomach and revelled in the amazing feelings the blonde was giving her just by kissing her neck. She wanted so badly for the blonde to just take her, right here, right now…

Brittany carried on pressing soft kisses along Santana's neck, up her jaw line, on her pulse point and behind her ear. The kisses started out soft but after ten minutes or so, Brittany's tongue was swiping across caramel skin and sucked softly before letting it go with a quiet – almost inaudible – pop. Santana's neck was slowly bruising with small purple circles.

She reluctantly pulled away from the girl's neck to hover her lips over Santana's ear.

"Britt…" Santana wined in protest. She needed the blonde's lips back on her neck now.

"Santana," Brittany started, her lips grazed over the shell of Santana's ear causing her to shiver and back impossibly further into the blonde. "I will always be here for you. I'll be here for you to scream at when you need to let off steam when things get too much to cope with, I'll be here to hold you when you need to be held, I'll always be up and ready with your morning coffee waiting for you so you're not grumpy during the day," Santana smiled and shook her head, she bit down on her bottom lip to hold back her giggle. She could feel her pathetic excuse of a heart melt at the blonde's words.

"I'll be there to dance around the apartment with you like a crazy person when we find out that you can get a new heart."

At Brittany's words, Santana turned to face the blonde. Still clutching her top she pulled herself down to bury her face into her chest and let her walls fall as a tsunami of tears fell from her eyes. Brittany pulled her in closer to her chest, wrapping her arms all the way around her waist. Brittany's breathe started to quiver with her own sobs that were trying to break free fromher body. She kissed Santana's forehead softly before carrying on.

"But most of all, I will be here by your side, simply because you mean more to me than you could possibly imagine. I will always love you Santana. No matter what happens. I'll never stop loving you Santana Lopez." Brittany meant what she was saying in more ways than one. She loved Santana as a friend but she now knew she loved Santana in ways that no human could possibly comprehend.

Santana gripped so tightly at the blonde that she was surprised she hadn't popped yet but she knew as soon as they left this room things would change. Santana had no doubt that Brittany would ever leave her, and she was so ridiculously pleased but she also knew that in the end, she herself would have to leave the blonde… How could she ever hurt Brittany like that? She mentally bulldozed the thoughts to the back of her mind and let herself enjoy the life changing moment she was sharing with Brittany.

Brittany had no idea what all of this meant, but she didn't want it to end. She didn't want to lose Santana.

She couldn't lose the woman she loved.