Since it's valentine's day, I thought I would update early. I split this chapter into two because it was getting a bit long and anyway I like leaving you guys wanting more ;)

I just wanted to say I massive thank you to Perhaps Glee for being totally amazing!

Here's chapter 9!

Please review.

Chapter 9

She hated feeling like everything in her life didn't matter anymore. She didn't want to feel like this but really, how could she not? It was like everything she had been working for, all of high school; her whole life had been a waist.

She'd completely smashed her phone to bits after her family wouldn't stop calling. She was sick of hearing how sorry they all were to hear her bad news. She didn't care about what they had to say. What good would it do them feeling sorry for her? Nothing they could say to her would make her feel better.

This was the fourth week she'd been locked away in her room. She hadn't seen a living soul in so long she wouldn't be surprised if there had been a zombie apocalypse. Even Brittany hadn't come in to ask her if she wanted food left out for her while she went to school or that her parents had called her again.

She missed the blonde so much.

But she knew she'd brought this all on herself.

She rolled over, let out a low groan and buried her face into her pillow. She heaved the bed sheets over her head so she was lying in complete darkness. Maybe if she closed her eyes and went to sleep everything would just go away?

No. She shook her head. She needed to sort herself out. She needed to get some fresh air. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and get herself back together.

She needed to get back to normal. Well, as normal as she could.

"Brittany! Wait up!" she didn't want to stop. If she stopped she would have to talk and she really didn't want to talk. Especially to her. "Brittany, please. We need to talk."

"No! We don't need to talk about anything. I don't need to talk to you or anyone for that matter." Brittany spun round on her heals to face her teacher. She could feel the bubble of anger she'd been keeping pent up inside of her, slowly beginning to rise. She knew she should keep calm. This woman wasn't worth her time.

Her teacher had purple and blue blotches all over her face, her bottom lip was split and if Brittany looked close enough she could see that her nose was slightly crooked. She shouldn't be please about that but she had to admit, Santana had done a pretty good job.

Brittany was surprised she hadn't been suspended or worse, expelled. But when she thought about it, she would have to explain what provoked Santana. Her teacher wouldn't risk losing her job.

"Yes we do." Her teacher lent forward and grabbed Brittany's arm to hold her still. Quicker than a flash, Brittany snatched it away and out of the other woman's reach.

"Don't you dare touch me." she snarled and began to jog out of the room.

"You're lucky I didn't get your girlfriend arrested. I mean she must get really jealous for her to go all crazy bitch on me like that." She shouted after the blonde.

Santana pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie before tying her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head.

She needed to get out of the apartment. This wasn't healthy for her.

She couldn't live the final year of her life, in her room feeling depressed and sorry for herself. So she locked the door to her apartment and set off to wander round the streets of New York.

She'd missed the smell of petrol from all the cars that were driving past. She'd missed having to dodge nearly every person that walked past. Hell, she'd even missed the shit weather.

She'd missed the feeling of just being Santana.

She stepped out of Starbucks with her coffee to keep her warm and headed down the street towards 'Vibez'. She really needed to stop by and tell Mark she would be back working by next week. Quinn had explained everything to him and thankfully he was okay with it. He'd even come to visit her at home but she'd been asleep for most of it so they didn't really talk.

"Santana! What the hell?" Quinn come racing towards her as she walked through the door. The air was pushed out of her lungs as the blonde threw herself at the Latina and she let out a soft grunt at the impact. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I would have come and picked you up! I've missed you so much, S."

Santana chucked at the blonde spitting random sentences out. "I've missed you too, Q. I just needed some fresh air." She sighed happily and gave Quinn a genuine smile. "I figured I wasn't doing myself any good keeping myself locked up in my room and feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, I need to tell mark that I can come back to work next week."

Just as she said the final sentence Mark walked out of his office. "Santana! That would be great. As long as you feel up to it?" she nodded her head and gave the man a small hug. She could smell alcohol on his clothes from spending most of his time in a bar, it was somewhat comforting. She didn't know why. It just was.

The bar was never that busy during the day but it was almost dead today. There were three old men up at the bar grumbling about a football game their team had lost, a family in the far corner having lunch and a drunk couple dancing – if that's what you could even call it – very intensely, on the dance floor.

"Hey, Q. I was going to go meet Britt at school. Do you want to come?"

Brittany came to a screeching halt causing her to whack her left shoulder against the doorframe. She turned so slowly, that it was almost scary. She gave her teacher the coldest look she could that even Quinn would be proud of. "Don't talk about her. You don't know anything about her." she growled harshly.

The shorter woman took a step back in surprise. Who would have thought that sweet innocent Brittany would ever have it in her to be so intimidating and scary? "You should really keep her under control, Britt." She said with a childish tone, she was only trying to get a better reaction out of the girl, she never expected for her to throw herself across the room and punch her in the face.

"Shut the fuck up!" Brittany straddled the older woman's hips and brought her fists down to meet her face, her stomach, anywhere she could hit. "She's not my girlfriend." She punched her stomach. "You don't know anything about her." She lifted her hand and punched her face, repeatedly.

She was screaming so loud she was surprised no one had run in to see what all the commotion was about. "You're just as bad as she is. You're both fucking crazy!"

Tears were cascading from her eyes; she couldn't even see the woman beneath her anymore. The only thing she could hear was the throbbing of her heart in her ears. "She's dying!" she screamed in the woman's face. "She's got a year left to live before she dies." She hadn't stopped throwing punches against the other woman, she hadn't even realised that she was being punched back. "I can't be with the woman I love because she's dying!"

If she hadn't been so numb she would have felt the searing pain racing through her ribs and the side of her face.

"Brittany!" she didn't know where the voices came from, but before she knew it she was being hauled to her feet and away from her teacher. Two strong pairs of arms were wrapped around the front of her chest holding her away from the woman lying in the middle of the room, but she wasn't even wrestling with the people holding her.

She let them pull her out of the room and down the corridor. The next time she blinked she was outside in the falling snow.

She shook her head to rid it of the weird hazy feelings she would get whenever her emotions got too high. She swiped at the tears and blinked a few times. She almost smacked herself in the face when she realised who was standing in front of her.

"Santana?" she pinched her arm to make sure she wasn't dreaming. It had been four very long weeks since the Latina had left their apartment and here she was with Quinn standing next to her, both with completely shocked expressions on their faces. "What are you doing here?"

Santana ignored her question, "What the hell were you doing in there, Brittany?" she shouted.

Both Santana's and Quinn's eye's dragged down the blonde's body, no doubt inspecting the damage caused from the other woman's punches.

It took Brittany a second to remember what had actually happened. She was still in a little bit of shock. "She wanted to talk to me, I didn't want to talk to her." the bitterness she'd had in her voice earlier had returned but this time she wasn't using it against the two girls in front of her.

Quinn shook her head. "How many times am I going to have to drag one of you off of that woman?"

"You should have just walked away, Britt." Brittany couldn't figure out if Santana was mad, annoyed or confused. She couldn't read the expression on her face.

"That's what I was doing but then she said that I should keep my jealous girlfriend under control." This time she was directing her bitterness towards that Latina. She was so angry and frustrated about everything she couldn't keep it all bottled up anymore. "She said I was lucky she didn't get you arrested."

Santana's face turned white, her shoulders slumped and her eyes softened. "Britt-"

"No. it doesn't matter. I'll be expelled by tomorrow anyway. Everything is a complete, fucking mess. What's the point anymore?" Brittany turned away from the two women and walked off down the street. "What's the point?" she murmured to herself.

She held back the tears for as long as she could, until she knew she was out of eye sight and then let them fall. She didn't even bother to wipe them away. Streams of mascara ran down her face and she could taste the bitterness of salt and the makeup in her mouth.

At some point the snow had turned into hammering rain that was drenching her clothes all the way through to her underwear. Every time the water would hit her skin, it would feel like a thousand tiny needs stabbing her. Her hair was sticking to her face and she was pretty sure she would look utterly ridiculous to passers-by.

She ran up the stairs in her building skipping three steps at a time with her long legs. She slammed her door open and stormed into her bedroom; she tore off her clothes and climbed into the shower.

She collapsed down against the tiled wall and let the scorching water sting her body. She didn't feel the pain though. She couldn't feel anything. All the anger and other emotions inside of her had burnt out.

She suddenly felt a twinge of main next to her eye. She brought her fingers up slowly to touch it but when she pulled away her eyes bulged, there was red liquid streaming down her fingers and not just a little, there was a lot.

That was when she felt her whole body begin to ache and sting. She hadn't realised how many punches the other woman had thrown at her. She grabbed her ribs where it hurt most and pressed down. She groaned in pain and collapsed down to the floor.

Her fists were swollen and slowly turning purple, she knew she probably looked ridiculous.

She didn't want to get up and move.

It hurt too much.

She would stay where she was until there was no hot water falling from the shower head.

Quinn took Santana back to her apartment to help her calm down. "She just needs some time, San. If she's upset about that kiss you should let her have her own space for a while until you are both ready to talk about things." All Santana could do was nod. She'd explained everything to Quinn in the cab ride back to her apartment, how they both had feelings for each other, the kiss and then the argument.

Brittany had never spoken to her like that before and it hurt. But she knew it was all her fault.

"You can stay here for a few nights if you like, Santana?" Kurt and Blaine walked out of their room and stood in front of the two women. They looked like they were about to go out clubbing or something.

"I wouldn't want to overcrowd, where would I sleep? No offence Hummel but I'm not sleeping on this thing." She bounced up and down on the sofa with a devious grin on her face.

"You can share with me, San. Rach's got some rehearsal thing for school so she's staying over at a friend's house." Santana couldn't refuse; if Brittany wanted space then she would give her space.

Britt, I'm staying over at Q's I thought you would maybe want some space. If you want me to come home just text me. – San x

Brittany looked down at her phone screen. She didn't know why she felt upset and disappointed that the Brunette wouldn't be coming home tonight, it wasn't like they had spoken in the past four weeks.

It wouldn't be any different to any other night Brittany had sat up to the early hours of the morning watching friends over and over again, alone.

Okay

That's all she could think of to say. She knew she was probably making things difficult for the brunette, she had a lot to deal with lately and Brittany was just adding to everything else.

She threw her phone on the floor and brought her bed sheets up to her neck. She shouldn't be taking this out on Santana; she was only trying to do the right thing for the blonde.

That's all Santana was doing, looking out for the blonde and making sure that she wouldn't be as hurt as she should be. She was thinking of the blonde's feelings even though she was dying.

Santana climbed into bed along-side Quinn. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a sleep over with the blonde. It must have been before the whole Beth thing happened.

Since then she hadn't spent as much time as she should have been with Quinn. She hadn't really been a good friend to her either. In fact she'd been a complete bitch to her. They'd only started getting close again towards the end of senior year.

"I'll make it up to her if it's the last thing I do."

"Santana, are you okay?" she must have been day dreaming…

"Err, yeah I'm fine, sorry." She shook her head and turned to face Quinn. "Hey, Quinn?"

"Yes?" she replied sleepily, she must have had a long day. Santana could hear the blonde trying to stifle a yawn.

"I'm sorry I haven't been a very good friend since you had Beth." Quinn had just gotten used to talking about her baby but it was still a touchy subject. She turned to face Santana with a confused look. The Latina never apologised, for anything.

"It's okay. That was in high school. It doesn't matter now." She whispered reassuringly.

"No, it's not okay. I should have been there for you more." Santana sat up Indian style. Suddenly, all the things Santana felt she'd done wrong or should have done better was all knocking into her skull full forced.

"Santana, it's okay. You're a good friend now and that's all that matters. You shouldn't live in the past because before you know it you won't have a future." Quinn mirrored Santana's position and held the girls hands in hers.

"I don't want to die, Quinn." Santana cracked. The inevitable fact that she was going to die hit her. She'd been crying herself to sleep for the past month because she was completely overwhelmed by the news.

Now, she was crying because she really didn't want to die. She was too young. She wasn't even twenty yet.

Quinn pulled the Latina to sit in her lap and rocked her back and forth. "It's okay. It's okay." she cooed. Her own tears began to fall, her throat began to ache from holding back the sobs and her body was beginning to shake with all the pressure building up.

"You're my best friend, Quinn." Santana choked out between sobs. "Promise me something?"

"Anything." She looked down into Santana's eyes but she could barely see anything, her vision was completely clouded.

"Promise me, that when I'm gone, you'll look after-" She couldn't finish her sentence, it hurt too much to even think about Brittany being on her own never mind say it out loud. "Look after Britt of me, Quinn? Please?"

Quinn didn't know what to say. She knew the chances of Santana getting a new heart by then was slim, but she shouldn't be giving up.

"No. I won't promise that because I won't need to. Santana, you're going to be okay." She reached out and lifted Santana's face to meet her eyes. "You're going to live happily ever after with Brittany. You're going to have a wedding and a huge family. Just don't give up, Santana."

Santana shook her head, "Promise me, Quinn." She pleaded.

She couldn't hold in the sobs that were crushing her body from the inside. "I promise." She held Santana as close to her chest as she could. "I love you, Santana."

"I love you too, Quinn."